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Last Active 12-09-22 12:08 am Joined 08-22-13
Review Comments 41,117
| Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 5: Mute Umbrella
2 are out and 19 are in. Lord(e)Po)))ts is also eliminated because he forgot to submit. | 1 | | Miles Davis Kind of Blue
1.Link a song via YouTube, Spotify, Soundcloud, Bandcamp, DailyMotion, Vimeo... or whatever you like as long as I don't have to download something.
2. The theme this round is Instrumentals. You can even have vocalizations/vocals as long as there are no lyrics/words in the song. NOT A SINGLE WORD. Don't test me on this.
3. Aim to impress me with what you pick, since I'm rating these.
4. If I know the song already, I'll tell you to pick something new, otherwise, you're good.
5. I'm going to start each new round every Sunday night (EST,) so if you're late, you're out. My 1-2 least favorite recs will be eliminated each round (1 if we don't get a lot of people and 2 if we do.)
***The winner of the competition can recommend me whatever 2 albums they want and I'll listen to them no matter the album as long as it's not impossible to find and as long as neither exceeds 3 hours.*** | 2 | | Augie March Moo, You Bloody Choir
SlothcoreSam
“One Crowded Hour”
Raspy vocals and floaty guitar. This is romantic and soulful. Nice pickup, not too frantic, and makes it even more slow dancy actually. I don’t love this song, but I can appreciate how it does a build up and feels epic while still capturing the vibe of a ballad. Good song, but not great song.
3.5/5 (Passed to next round) | 3 | | The Isley Brothers 3+3
Ryus
“Highways of My Life”
Pleasant piano and some floaty synths. Soul rules and the alien synths give it a weird creepy vibe. Ooh those backup vocals are neat. There are a lot of harmonies going on here. I like it!
3.7/5 (Passed to next round) | 4 | | Natalia Lafourcade Musas
Trifolium
“Soledad y El Mar”
Casual guitar playing in a house intro, hmmm. She has a pretty voice. What’s the percussion thing the guy is doing? Simple and decent, but not too interesting.
3.3/5 (Passed to next round) | 5 | | Antonio Carlos Jobim The Wonderful World of Antônio Carlos Jobim
someone
“A Felicidade”
Bossa nova! Who doesn’t like some bossa, right? Wasn’t expecting those strings, ooh. Johnny once called me a weeb for Brazilian music and y’know I don’t agree, but I could be if given the time. Short and sweet, but it gets plenty across.
4.1/5 (Passed to next round) | 6 | | Cigarettes After Sex I.
Aberf
“Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby”
Going into this only really knowing their song “K.” Good bass and drums so far and yup there’s that smoker’s voice. While I don’t love the vocals, I appreciate the instrumentation. Not much else to say since it’s a simple song.
3.6/5 (Passed to next round) | 7 | | Firehouse Firehouse
ReturnToRock
“Love of a Lifetime”
This is so 80s sounding despite being from a band who didn’t debut until 1990. The instrumentation beyond the guitar is pretty boring. Oh GOD IT'S A GLAM METAL POWER BALLAD. At least this isn’t the kind of glam metal where the vocalist sounds like they’re jizzing too hard. This hit #5? While I’m not surprised, I swear I’ve never heard this before. It’s very cheesy and generic. Oh no, now he’s jizzing his pants. I’m sorry, but glam metal isn’t for me.
2.4/5 (ELIMINATED!) | 8 | | Shoes Present Tense
protokute
“Your Very Eyes”
Very light vocals and light acoustic. Sounds pretty 60s for a song from 1979. It’s very inoffensive, but it also lacks personality. That electric solo is unexpected, but not exactly interesting either.
3/5 (Passed to next round) | 9 | | T. Rex Electric Warrior
JohnnyoftheWell
“Cosmic Dancer”
Seeing as I adore “Jeepster” and don’t really care for “Get It On”, this should be interesting. Nice percussion, and strings are always nice. Vocals are whatever so far. Show-offy cello is cool. This seems like a case of great backing production decisions building up a very okay rock song. Seriously, the strings are carrying this thing completely. The backmasking is cool, and images of dancing newborns -how cosmic. A little more emotion from the vocalist would’ve worked wonders for this, but it’s overall passable.
3.2/5 (Passed to next round) | 10 | | Wilco Kicking Television: Live in Chicago
fogza
“One by One”
I already love Wilco, so this should be cheating, but it isn’t because I don’t know this song. Tweedy is very mumbly on this. The guitar is the only instrument really grabbing me -it’s countrified and pleasant. The drums, bass, and piano are kinda just there. Good pickup though.
3.2/5 (Passed to next round) | 11 | | The National Boxer
dedex
“Slow Show”
Jarring rattling background, pleasant acoustic, and warm vocals. Weird mix. Now that it’s settled into itself, I gotta say, this is very boring. The “epic” drums and the simple piano are just so whatever. This song belongs in an *inspirational* commercial.
2.7/5 (Passed to next round) | 12 | | Larry Heard Love's Arrival
normaloctagon
“Missing You”
Jittery percussion and weird swelling sounds, so far not very ballady. I can’t slow dance to this at all. I can regular dance to it, I mean it’s a house song of course, but the drums are saying “feel the rhythm and move” not “hold your partner slowly.” I liked this one more than the others you’ve picked. Hell, it’s close enough, but please try to adhere to the theme closer next round because I’m gonna be super strict!
3.3/5 (Passed to the next round) | 13 | | Nat King Cole Love Is The Thing
bgillesp
“Stardust”
Ooh, is that harp? This is pretty. His voice is like a warm loaf of bread fresh from the oven. It’s basic for an old pop ballad, but basic doesn’t mean bad. Class act.
3.6/5 (Passed to next round) | 14 | | Sharon Van Etten Are We There
Pangea
“Tarifa”
Pleasant vocals. Sax and organ give it some personality. Her voice is okay, but not really grabbing me. This is not really doing it for me. A little on the boring side, but not bad per se.
2.9/5 (Passed to next round) | 15 | | Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Album
Zig
Gino Paoli - Senza Fine
“Senza Fine”
I like the violin and the vocalist sounds confident. Leave it to the Italians to make a romance sound extra special. The bass and drums aren’t doing much, but the violin is working overtime, so it’s okay. The way the violin keeps fluttering down flashily is a rush of passion. If everything else about this was as good, this would get a perfect score.
3.8/5 (Passed to next round) | 16 | | Bill Evans From Left to Right
nol
“What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?”
It seems like jazz ballads were the smartest choice this round because I’m only 45 seconds in and the keys and bass have me sold already. Wait, are there no vocals? Do ballads need vocals? According to my personal rules for this round, I guess not. Pretty, somber, and emotional instrumentation. (It neither wins the round, nor has a low enough score to be eliminated, so I guess whether it follows the theme or not doesn’t matter anyway.)
4/5 (Passed to next round) | 17 | | Big Star #1 Record
Minushuman24
“Thirteen”
Cutesy folk so far. Weird backups for a second. This is cool though, I like how it’s progressing. Simple, sentimental, and overall great.
3.9/5 (Passed to next round) | 18 | | Trouble Trouble
garas
“The Misery Show (Act 2)”
Power chords! Reminds me of Ozzy a bit. The pickup is very much not for me. His voice is okay during the verses, but damn that chorus is just no. Oh weird, a metally solo section. Man, this song is still going on, isn’t it? I’m imagining two metalheads dancing at their wedding to this song. It’s a sweet thought, even if I can’t relate.
2.5/5 (Passed to next round) | 19 | | Laura Nyro Eli and The 13th Confession
Sinternet
“Stoned Soul Picnic”
Great piano and violin. Staccato! This might be better than the 5th Dimension Version. And then she adds some flutes. She’s keeping this interesting. The tempo pickups kinda make this less ballady, but the majority fits and I’m trying to be a little less nitpicky than I was last year. Fun song regardless!
3.9/5 (Passed to next round) | 20 | | Mark Lanegan Bubblegum
botulist
“Come to Me”
Nice bass, and ooh is this going to be a duo? I like bluesy elements and the fuzzy guitar wisps. Wait, holy crap that’s PJ Harvey isn’t it? You sneaky bastard. She’s a bit restrained on this song, but I guess that’s based on Mark Lanegan’s direction. Very good song regardless. I would happily slow dance to this.
4.3.5 (ROUND WINNER! handicap (for others) of +0.5 for the next round) | 21 | | W.A.S.P. The Crimson Idol
budgie
“The Idol”
That’s a mellow metal acoustic intro if I ever heard one. This one actually made me laugh. I know I called the other glam metal pick cheesy, but this is on another level. That emotional shreddy guitar solo is so lame and generic. This song is so serious too. Who let glam metal stay a thing in the 90s? Banish that shit back to the 80s where it belongs.
2/5 (ELIMINATED!) | 22 | | Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Album
Colton
Cosmic Jared
"Ars Swoons Interdimensionally to the Rhythm of This Post-rock Ballad (what is a ballad)” (feat. JohnnyoftheWell)
Romantic acoustic and electric with some simple drums. Are you going to compile these into an EP because that’d be hilarious. This song is very average.
2.5/5 (Passed to next round) | |
ArsMoriendi
08.08.21 | So now that you all know I dislike glam metal, are you really surprised? | Pangea
08.08.21 | yeah was kinda expecting this response but i was banking on the idea that it should be okay enough to advance
instrumentals will be fun | Colton
08.08.21 | so just to clarify you think Ars Swoons Interdimensionally to the Rhythm of This Post-rock Ballad (what is a ballad) (feat. JohnnyoftheWell) is better than My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy? based af | ArsMoriendi
08.08.21 | ALSO, SlothcoreSam shoutboxed me yesterday saying he was going on vacation and would have trouble submitting this week and asked if he could submit early and I said yes, and this is what he picked:
The Comet Is Coming - Trust in the Lifeforce of the Deep Mystery
Summon The Fire
https://youtu.be/G55GspnNkBo | Pangea
08.08.21 | maybe will change later but Kraftwerk - Stratovarius for now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsWChncYIdg | Ryus
08.08.21 | mahavishnu orchestra - meeting of the spirits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhzDBGiOTvg | protokute
08.08.21 | What a great feeling to have Ars destroy most of my favorite songs
But we're still going strong | Lord(e)Po)))ts
08.08.21 | Lol woops sorry bud | someone
08.08.21 | So no spoken word sample mixes either, I see | Colton
08.08.21 | ars pls update the entry for mine, the band is called Cosmic Jared not Cosmic Ars | bgillesp
08.08.21 | So, like, Sigur Ros stuff from () would qualify? | bgillesp
08.08.21 | If so, I pick Sigur Ros- Untitled 4
Lots of vocals but the “lyrics” are made up language/just vocalizations.
https://youtu.be/4cffzyPQcGs | ReturnToRock
08.08.21 | Ohhhh snap. That song had never failed me before. Maybe I should have gone with Def Leppard (or just another genre of ballad altogether...)
Anyway - been fun as usual, you guys. | Ryus
08.08.21 | you picked the right songs to eliminate for sure | Colton
08.08.21 | thanks | someone
08.08.21 | gotta be the new BADBADNOTGOOD - Signal From the Noise
https://youtu.be/gMEto80a2HY
(album Talk Memory) | Ryus
08.08.21 | didnt listen to your song but i can guarantee its better than any glam metal | ArsMoriendi
08.08.21 | "Lots of vocals but the “lyrics” are made up language/just vocalizations."
As long as it isn't a fictional language with actual translations like Klingon or something, and is just gibberish, it should be fine | Colton
08.08.21 | when do we find out the theme for the next round | ArsMoriendi
08.08.21 | @Colton: for round 6? Next Sunday
For round 5? It's already listed on the list under Item one rule 2 as it always is | bgillesp
08.08.21 | Gibberish sung by an Icelandic dude. I assumed it was Icelandic first time I listened but looked up the lyrics to find out it was gibberish.
https://genius.com/Sigur-ros-untitled-4-lyrics | ArsMoriendi
08.09.21 | Nice | JohnnyoftheWell
08.09.21 | yo Ars can you skip to about 2:15 into Sawmill by Oxbow (where the vox is most prominent) and lmk if you can distinguish Words?
lyric sheets are banned | ArsMoriendi
08.09.21 | I definitely heard the words "every single goddamn time" at 2:40 | protokute
08.09.21 | Egberto Gismonti - Janela de Ouro
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BngsQFOSZvA)
Has vocalizations, but not actual words. Hope you like it :) | JohnnyoftheWell
08.09.21 | boring placeholder rec secret chiefs 3 - on the wings of the haoma | JohnnyoftheWell
08.09.21 | gonna listen to yours when I get home norma
if it tells me to feel the rhythm when I should be feeling the woman imma sulk
if it's the other way round imma cry | ArsMoriendi
08.09.21 | @johnny using this link for your song unless you say otherwise:
https://open.spotify.com/track/7bub1SJz2lUAmlKacsnkJ6?si=2b5984982dda4a17 | Colton
08.09.21 | "feeling the woman" | Trifolium
08.09.21 | Yippee I live to see another round of this! Instrumentals... Let's see... That's a nicely broad theme! | dedex
08.09.21 | Eluvium - Prelude for Time Feelers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=963Tt7CEt2s | fogza
08.09.21 | Benguela - Eshowe cicadas. Tried to keep it shortish, but I guess it's not that short.
https://benguela.bandcamp.com/track/eshowe-cicadas | botulist
08.09.21 | does throat singing quantify as words? | botulist
08.09.21 | placeholder, i'll switch later in the week:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwVKNYn5-Ec | ArsMoriendi
08.09.21 | "does throat singing quantify as words?"
I don't believe so | Colton
08.09.21 | soundtrack of the discord generation | Zig
08.10.21 | Pekka Pohjola - Hereilläkin uni Jatkuu
https://youtu.be/ER1gZCGQTwQ | Aberf
08.11.21 | Ichiko Aoba - Ohayashi
https://youtu.be/AeroCBcztSI | botulist
08.12.21 | How does the handicap work? | Storm In A Teacup
08.12.21 | is there a link to the johnny version of corkons song im listening to the link posted and then i saw corkon ask johnny to get on | ArsMoriendi
08.12.21 | "How does the handicap work?"
Pretty much the round winner gets 0.5 points added to their score the next round regardless of the song's quality. Potsy won round 4, but didn't even submit for round 5, but if he did, and let's say he scored a 3.4, because he won round 4, his score would end up a 3.9 instead
In best case scenarios, this bonus can save someone from getting eliminated (imagine a 2.7 getting boosted to a 3.2) | botulist
08.12.21 | hmmm. can i save it, or does it have to be used this round? | ArsMoriendi
08.12.21 | This round | Colton
08.12.21 | @storm that’s him playing guitar | ArsMoriendi
08.12.21 | Still waiting on:
1. Minushuman24
2. garas
3. Trifolium
4. nol (but he said he's probably voluntarily dropping out, oh well)
5. Colton
6. Sinternet | botulist
08.12.21 | i might change mine, but either way, i'll have it to you by tomorrow evening | Trifolium
08.13.21 | Yeah I've thought of a great one for you Ars!
Indigo Jam Unit - Buffalo
https://youtu.be/PIA2FHy2zkw
From Realism | JohnnyoftheWell
08.13.21 | ok relistened to my last pick for the first time in yrs and maybe it's sketch
this should do the trick (same alb etc) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ldtr9uOjXI | dedex
08.13.21 | great pick Triffy | Trifolium
08.13.21 | Hihihihi I'm still waiting for the 'enough with the Jam Unit already!' moment but it never comes 💖 | Minushuman24
08.13.21 | aight I got a placeholder
Botany - Vision of this Earth Before Our Time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX7344X7t8g&ab_channel=westernvinyl | garas
08.14.21 | Ulver - Glammer Hammer
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=qKi9vPIJw5c&feature=share | JohnnyoftheWell
08.14.21 | nuuu why not the original | garas
08.14.21 | Because I love ATGIBLUAKHFMAIKJSJNFKLUHNAIFLNAJMOLJFMHKJFN is one of my fav. Ulver releases, and I love that version a llllllot! | Sinternet
08.14.21 | aphex twin - vordhosbn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8TAXHvPJdo | JohnnyoftheWell
08.14.21 | yaaaaaaaas ez top 5 aphex for me, gr8 pick | Sinternet
08.14.21 | ars needs the brain expansion :) | Trifolium
08.14.21 | "Because I love ATGIBLUAKHFMAIKJSJNFKLUHNAIFLNAJMOLJFMHKJFN is one of my fav. Ulver releases" 💖💚 | JohnnyoftheWell
08.14.21 | "ars needs the brain expansion :)"
ain't that the truth. bleep-bloop messe-era ulver ver might also have saved him but alas | ArsMoriendi
08.14.21 | Cool, all we're missing is Colton and nol, and nol said he's dropping out of the comp so....
Just Colton, like usual...do I even bother reminding him? | fogza
08.14.21 | he probably has like 900 demos ready to share but waits til the last moment to heighten the drama and your anxiety | ArsMoriendi
08.14.21 | I just gave him a final reminder, if it's not linked and made public before tomorrow, I won't even say anything to him about it, just disqualify him
Last week was super annoying lol | Pangea
08.14.21 | okay changing mine:
Charles Mingus - The Shoes of the Fisherman's Wife Are Some Jive Ass Slippers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rbdx-jR3a8U | Colton
08.15.21 | Cosmic Jared - Constellations of Ars https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qGrOoPV2RbBbqFYp35NflBAo8zJBcIIh/view?usp=drivesdk | ArsMoriendi
08.15.21 | Nice! Since nol said he's dropping out, that means everyone got their recs in | Trifolium
08.15.21 | Hype!!! | ArsMoriendi
08.15.21 | Starting NOW no song changes now :) | Colton
08.15.21 | i respect how you always stay objective about your opinion on music |
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