twlight: Best/Worst Music Reviewers

qwe3 09.27.11	lol no
twlight 09.27.11	it's all for fun
AngelofDeath 09.27.11	Rolling Stone's reviews aren't typically bad, it's just that their taste is.
Trebor. 09.27.11	The reviews in rolling stone are well written
toxin. 09.27.11	way to suck the staff/contribs' collective dick
twlight 09.27.11	rosa- who'd you put as best?
someguest 09.27.11	lol eazy is his name and yo boy's commin straight outta compton
Satellite 09.27.11	pretty sure they're still not gonna fuck you js
Athom 09.27.11	Best should be p4k/cmg
twlight 09.27.11	"Rolling Stone's reviews aren't typically bad, it's just that their taste is." agreed, Sputink's taste rules (for the most part), Rolling Stone reviews and loves shitty music
Liberi Fatali 09.27.11	Can't say I've read rolling stone magazine at all in the last 5 or so years. But are their reviews in the magazine just one paragraph wonders like on their website? eg http://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/own-the-night-20110913
YetAnotherBrick 09.27.11	agreed.
iFghtffyrdmns 09.27.11	wut
wabbit 09.27.11	p4k are the best. Cmg have really well written reviews but they are too long.
twlight 09.27.11	I received Rolling Stone Magazine for about 3 years and no, the reviews in that magazine aren't always just the one paragraph format, though a lot of the reviews are. Decided to cancel my subscription after Panic at the disco, justin bieber, fall out boy, zach efron etc were on the covers
Joshgasm 09.27.11	Chan is the best.
Satellite 09.27.11	monica skoko ftw
Electric City 09.27.11	cmg rules. ive also gotten hard into Dusted and TMT recently
twlight 09.27.11	wonarabbit- i think p4k sucks, they have hardly any variety and only love the College Radio/indie-hipster stuff 90% of the time
robertsona 09.27.11	only good reviewer is robert christgau
wabbit 09.27.11	this guy doesn't understand the difference between good writing and having the same opinion.
Athom 09.27.11	@robertsona: tell that to downer hahaha
Athom 09.27.11	I suck at guitar :/
twlight 09.27.11	wonarabbit- not quite sure what you mean by that
AtavanHalen 09.27.11	dumbfuck convention 2k11 itt
toxin. 09.27.11	"the best reviewer is channing" On Sputnik this is probably true. Actually Staff on Sputnik (and contribs to a lesser extent) actually rule pretty hard when it comes to writing and taste. I don't think they're necessarily the best though, just because I read theirs more frequently than others'.
someguest 09.27.11	atavan is right not enough austrailian drink the koolaid openmindedness in here
twlight 09.27.11	"Actually Staff on Sputnik (and contribs to a lesser extent) actually rule pretty hard when it comes to writing and taste." yeah, trying to get this point across more so than sucking dicks
twlight 09.27.11	"I suck at guitar :/" nah, the guitar is the best part of Love American
toxin. 09.27.11	you'd look more credible and less like a dicksucker (wtf am I even saying >_>) if you had stated that someone besides Sputnik Staff were the best reviewers. I mean, even though they're assholes and purposely downrate albums for indie cred, p4k is pretty fucking good at reviewing (usually; I remember someone showed me this shit Eminem review i can't remember)
twlight 09.27.11	well i honestly think that sputnik staff reviews way better album than p4k.
Acanthus 09.27.11	Rollingstone has different tastes than I do, and normally they never cover bands I care about; they just bother me.
twlight 09.27.11	^ Rolling Stone is all about POP
toxin. 09.27.11	@twilichty cool, I guess it was unfair to judge you anyways. Rolling Stone has shit taste, it's not even funny.
Irving 09.27.11	Pitchfork writes really good stuff, but their older reviews had better flair and descriptive power than their latest batch of recruits. I still think they're ahead of our writers on here though (no offense to all involved). I think we're roughly better than TMT though. In terms of who's the best on our staff crew, I have to say I really like Adam Downer (except for that one time where he wrote that teenage sex review), John Hipster/Hyperbole Hanson, and Keelan H. (thebhoy). As for the Contribs, I think that Atavan and Conrad have the best flair and most obvious natural writing talent (which makes it a shame that both hardly write here anymore). In addition, I love me some Waior and Sowing too, although the latter bloke has really got to cut back on rewriting his intros and injecting too much of himself into the review (Ilu man). Channing is great too but the last phenomenal review of his was that Danger Days one. Since then he's been all about transcending the meaning of reviewing and trying to find the meaning of life through a Metallica album.
Electric City 09.27.11	hahaha@ Irv's chan ref and i write ONE review with teenage sex and suddenly EVERYONES on my ass =p
Ignimbrite 09.27.11	I don't have a problem with the RS reviewers, but I do have issues with that decrepit magazine in general.
Sowing 09.27.11	I don't think I rewrite my intros... Anyway, I think there are certain staff here who adhere to the highest quality, pitchfork definitely has some great reviewers too. Even absolutepunk has had some great reviews from time to time. But rolling stone is def. the worst IMO
Pharoh 09.27.11	Staff/contribs are almost worth the mounds of hyperbolic claims it receives.
Ignimbrite 09.27.11	I think I accidentaly got an RS subscription when I bought tickets on Ticketmaster once and I keep getting the magazine in the mail. I regularly use it for kindling. Shitty music + overbearing better-than-thou politics? Fuck that.
Electric City 09.27.11	i trust half the staff here more than i do any other website. STAFF FOR until i get a job and become a real person. still a couple years off though
Irving 09.27.11	I've chuckled at least twice now. That comment of mine really pushed some buttons (some good, some bad) haha. Adam, I'll have you know that I actually appreciated that teenage sex intro - it was what came after that was a bit "eh?" but you're still my favourite staff writer (I am 95% sure of this). So yeah consider your balls washed. Somehow Chan, I really half-believe you actually DO live on another dimension now. But I still pull out your old reviews every time I feel like learning a bit more about how you wrote as a mortal. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, as they say. And no, Sowing, you don't REALLY rewrite your intros. I was just exaggerating there, but sometimes I do get a deja vu feeling when reading your pieces. Maybe it's because you have close to 150 reviews and I've probably read like every one of them. Now, I feel like I should do the userbase some service as well so here goes: iFght is really, really good. It half feels to me like he's got the makings of a young Conrad but he's just got to be more consistent and daring in his writing. Elsewhere, I wish mallen and Phlebas still wrote on here with regularity. Phlebas, in particular, is like Ebenezer Scrooge in that he hates music like Christmas but boy does he prose well. I will leave everyone with a nugget from a Pitchfork review that I found which seems to exist just to remind us of how good they can be: "The Mars Volta's piss-soaked indulgence often pushes critics to similarly bombastic, mouth-foaming performances." Brilliant.
toxin. 09.27.11	"Since then he's been all about transcending the meaning of reviewing and trying to find the meaning of life through a Metallica album." Not to sound like a suck-up but I do like when people put some individual meaning into the reviews, as long as it's seemed nicely and comfortably. Chan's old tdagarim review literally made me try to listen to that album three times (more than I ever gave another album) before getting into the band with their more accessible works. At the same time, the more informative & straightforward reviews really serve their place too. One of my favorite reviewers was Observer and it's a shame he doesn't review anymore. The only place where this site lacks is the negative reviews, which often are overly opinionated (I mean that's by nature but still).
Sowing 09.27.11	I think becoming emeritus opened chan's writing up a lot. Some of his reviews may read more like a blog from time to time, but I still enjoy it. I'm not sure I agree about the negative reviews lacking though, I am always reading top-notch ones (esp. from the staff, contribs, and more experienced users)...if it seems like there is literally a lack of them in numbers, it is probably because people just tend to review music they like more than music they dislike
wabbit 09.27.11	"and i write ONE review with teenage sex and suddenly EVERYONES on my ass =p"...downer says stuff like this. I'd say Alex Silveri is probably the most talented writer on the site. The three adam's would be my favourite but that is bias because I normally share opinions with them (esp downer...except not about sex)
Spec 09.27.11	The worst part is pretty dead on!
Irving 09.27.11	Yeah but then you went and did something like that Adele one or your second bite at the TDAG apple lol. Don't get me wrong - this is in no means a critique on your writing, but more of an expression of how, in terms of writing "traditional" reviews, your best contributory output came from about a year ago. These days you give us different things to think about and make us dust off albums we thought we'd never listen to again. It's still among the best stuff that appears on here though which makes it cool. Anyway, obviously the reason I'm whole-heartedly engaging you in conversation right now Chan is because I'd really like to see you take care of March Madness when it comes around again. Since Sea left there's been no one ready to take his place, and you have the experience, so.
Waior 09.27.11	i LOVE alex silveri. def my favourite writer here
toxin. 09.27.11	Well to be fair, I only check out reviews of music/albums/bands I'm familiar with (either I have heard, have wanted to hear, or have seen written here a lot) or of albums that catch my eye for whatever reason, so there's not a very accurate sample size here. But sometimes reviewers tend to be borderline vitriolic (and right now, I'm thinking of Downer's TBS review and Observer's Sum 41) in their negative reviews, as though pejoratives are necessary to justify a "1" or "1.5" to a popular/semi-popular band. It might be a confirmation bias though, since most of the negative reviews that are good here I would overlook anyways. Not sure.
Sowing 09.27.11	ha nothing was worse then my review for that sum 41 album though. i wasn't trying to be serious at all though i see what you mean, but i do believe they are but a handful out of a much larger pool of excellent negative reviews
Irving 09.27.11	PROVE IT! BY DOING IT THIS YEAR! :D
toxin. 09.27.11	@SS, I just read that and I laughed a little. Never thought one of your reviews would have 13/25 pos's. And yeah, you're probably right since I could think of a handful of reasons why I'd notice those ones more than the ace negative reviews.
Sowing 09.27.11	me too
Knott- 09.27.11	disgrace that robin hasn't been mentioned itt
Irving 09.27.11	Ily Knott.
Waior 09.27.11	robin is great okay i thought it went without saying
klap 09.27.11	there's a lot of great review sites besides cmg/pitchfork. cmg gets on my nerves occasionally
Liberi Fatali 09.27.11	Mayhaps. When I read my older reviews though I cringe, and they're all pretty much older reviews by now. Regarding Pitchfork, I've read too many blogs critiquing the pitchfork style of review to consider them the pinnacle of the field.
porch 09.27.11	not bad twlichty but next time i'd like to see you wiggle your ass in the air and get down and dirty by including some namechecks of your fav sputnik staff/contribs
TheNotrap 09.27.11	Best metal reviews I'ver read was in a French magazine called Hard Rock. RIP
Aids 09.27.11	"monica skoko ftw" ^^^
ITsHxCTOASTER 09.27.11	I believe thenewreview.net takes the cake for the worst
lancebramsay 09.28.11	you guys sure love talkin about suckin dicks n shit
twlight 09.28.11	yeah sonictheplummer does cause he's a faggot
loveisamixtape 09.28.11	i've always liked how absolutepunk reviews things. that % formula thing is always pretty useful
toxin. 09.28.11	I don't like Absolutepunk's reviewers though. And sometimes an album is more than the sum of certain criteria. I mean technically, something can be not well-produced and still be better for it. And good musicianship isn't even a prerequisite for a good album in my opinion. It helps, but none of my 5s have interesting musicianship (or at least, that isn't the biggest draw to them)