Review Summary: WHACHA KNOW ABOUT SOUTH FLORIDA OSDM PLAYA? STEP IN OR GET THE FUCK OUT SON!!!!!!
My relationship with South Florida is not always positive but I’m still proud of my roots despite publicly lambasting the region for it’s shallow , materialistic driven denizens whenever I get a chance. As much as I hate being a minority and a victim of driving illiterate scumbags, I put up with it because it’s my hometown. One thing I noticed besides the top tier bands always skipping the area is that South Florida never really had a prolific metal scene. I mean Miami had Cynic and Tampa had the metal scene by the balls in the late 80’s but for every Cynic and kickass Tampa death metal band is a Wyked Wytch. And even God knows that nobody should ever have to listen to Wykked Wytch. I mean ***, Tallahassee spawned Creed and T-Pain for pete’s peppers. In a crusade to unearth quality underground metal in my region I came across a band entitled Hibernus Mortis. Hailing from Hialeah, which according to my parents used to be nice in the 70’s but now is a total ***ing ***hole, Hibernus Mortis play a crushing style of doom imbued death metal that should appeal to all fans of old school death regardless if your favorite band is Incantation or Morbid Angel.
They have only released one full length and a few demos in their fifteen year existence. Their debut “The Existing Realm of Perpetual Sorrow” is what’s on today's menu. At first I was put off by the band’s purple artwork and douche bag attempt to come up with a progressive and almost surreal sounding album title. Because frankly, “The Existing Realm of Perpetual Sorrow” fails almost as hard as a death metal band having purple artwork. Don’t even get me started on the Nile-esque closing track “The Complete and Total Annihilation of the Boundaries of Human Suffering in the Chasms of Infinite Sleep” What the band lacks in zazz is made up in spades with tightly performed death metal with booming riffs, focused songwriting and a thundering rhythm section. In essence, “The Realm of Perpetual Sorrow” is that nerdy but cute girl that you never paid any attention to in high school until you see her a few years later and BOOM!!!! She’s a knockout but still a smart, independent chick you‘d take home to meet ma. Except now she’s married to some cripple snowboarder turned doctor/pilot. ***, that hurts doesn’t it?.
The band I believe at the time of this recording was comprised of four core members. Two contributing to guitars and vocals while the other two filled in the rhythm section. Ralph, Doug, David and Caesar form a fantastic foursome. My favorite aspect of this record is the guitar sound. Often down tuned to the lowest degree, the guitars rip straight through the speakers and punch your zombie children in the face to a punishing effect. The riffs cut through speedy patterns while at times alternating between lower paced chugs and tremolo picking. The tremolo picking lends a black metallish feel as evidenced by one of the album’s stronger cuts “Mayhemic Howl”. Opening with a quick high pitched belch and furious blast beating before evolving into pure OSDM. Featuring deep, guttural vocals and a riff so headbangable you’d snap your head clean off in an instant upon bobbing your head. At this point the tempo quickens up and you’re introduced to another high belch and tremolo picking. Most important of all is how catchy the guitars sound. This isn’t some ***ass tech-death wank, this is bruising caveman metal for clubbing women as a means of seduction. The hooks are ever present and provide an enjoyable listen during the album’s relatively lax thirty six minute running time.
Vocals are also impressive. Aside from the occasional high pitched scream and layered patterns, vocals are predominantly performed in a low, guttural tone. They sound evil and inspired, almost as if Darth Vader instead of saving his son gave a chest bump to Emperor Palpatine after disposing of the prodigy jedi. Lyrics are often undecipherable, but the general lack of Satan that I feel from song titles like “Moral Extinction” and “Immortal Enchantment” ends up making me sad panda. Then again the music kills so hard I don’t even give a flying *** about the lack of Satan and guitar solos.
Rounding out the individual performances is the bass and drum. The drumming is calculating and vicious through and through. Blast beats are performed consistently and gracefully , at times seemingly capable of single handedly invoking the wrath of Cthulhu to commence with Ragnarok just a little earlier than expected. Drum fills are intricate and when the music starts to slow down Caesar successfully adapts to the new format without problem. Bass is tuned low in true William Murderface fashion. Not much else I can say there.
Overall, this is some deceptively proficient death metal that should garner a much larger audience on sputnik. You would never know by judging the album cover/artwork but major respect goes to these fellows for releasing some great metal styled in the old guard‘s elite. Catchy, intense, well produced, reasonably accessible, what’s not too love? I hope one day these fellows will come out of obscurity(my current town) and release a proper death metal record as a worthy adversary to combat fake tans, Spanish language overtaking English, and horrible traffic. One day South Florida will rise out of the sun drenched,, celebrity wannabe depths and take back the day. Creed? *** Creed. Or I’ll just end up moving back to Vero. I do really miss working on my farm. It was therapeutic manual labor designed (almost it seems by the gods themselves) to provide me with the kvlt-ness I need to thrive.
