Review Summary: TELL ME WHY
Pokemon was a pop culture phenomenon. That’s actually quite the understatement –
nobody missed out on Pokemon in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. It was an enormous hit with a wide reach of influence, and everyone got introduced to it in some fashion, be it the video game series, the cartoon, or the trading card game. It ultimately did what most series were unable to do – it wasn’t confined to the video game medium (series like Sonic the Hedgehog have done this, too, but not quite as successfully). Pokemon was on top of the world during its peak (90’s-2000’s), and as a result, the first motion-picture film was released, with an incredibly successful marketing campaign to boot, with stars like N-Sync, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera getting involved, hoping to capitalize on Pokemania.
But it’s been over fifteen years since the release of the first movie, and now that all the dust has settled, it’s time to be real about it – the film wasn’t very good. In fact, the franchise as a whole isn’t very good – there was a lot of soul and passion put into the first five or so games, but after that, the idea of “quality” got shunted down the priority list in favor of “fun” or “creativity”. But kids of all ages will eat that sh*t up, partially because of the fantastic brainwashing campaign that Nintendo has going on (GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL! GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!). But it’s a finer line than you think – Pokemon: The First Movie is actually where it said brainwashing started. It was a huge marketing and merchandising campaign thinly disguised as a film – to that end, the soundtrack had quite a lot of corporatized, barebones material written up as a way to make the maximum amount of money (hence the presence of NSync, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, etc.) for all parties involved. So, yeah – it’s not very good.
Pokemon: The First Movie’s OST is a charming kind of bad, but it’s still pretty bad. It’s music targeted towards little kids, of course, and it was never made for adults, but that doesn’t excuse how absolutely cheesy each and every song. The first song is a classy, overproduced rewrite of the original cartoon’s theme song (literally, the Pokemon Theme), and it’s exactly as tawdry and gaudy as it sounds. Packed to the brim with keyboards, electric drums, choirs, full of bells and whistles that sound really cool but have a distinct lack of complexity and effort. Whereas the original theme song was a relatively straightforward rock song, this one sounds like a ridiculous synthpop single – it makes you want to dance rather than go on an adventure, but god damn it if the guitar solo isn’t pretty sick-sounding.
And that’s a trend (see: problem) that pervades the entire album. It sounds pretty, and there’s a whole lot of instruments and singing going on, and some of these are absolute guilty pleasures, but it’s all surface-level, and the album has a whole has a distinct lack of boldness and freshness. “Don’t Say That You Love Me” (M2M) is so groan-worthy, full of every lyrical and musical cliché known to man, but it magically works despite being total wankery. “Somewhere, Someday” (NSync) and “We’re A Miracle” (Aguilera) are ***ty, dorky 90’s ballads, but anybody that says they don’t want to dance along to “Catch Me If You Can” (Angela Via), beatbox along with “Have Some Fun With The Funk” (Aaron Carter), or belt out the lyrics to Hardline-esque “Brother My Brother” (Blessid Union of Souls) is a f*cking
liar.
The soundtrack definitely doesn’t take itself seriously, and for that, it deserves some applause. The film isn’t cinema gold and it was never meant to be, and the soundtrack is a suitably uninvolved, lighthearted affair full of over-produced pop songs that sound objectively terrible, but only objectively. That’s not to say the album isn’t entirely this way. There’s some genuine artistry put into “Vacation” (Vitamin C) which uses a lot of effects and processed-sounding samples and instruments to good effect; it’s approachable and simplistic yet experimental, and it wouldn’t sound of place in a game like Jet Set Radio. The distinct R&B feel in “Fly With Me” help give it an air of sophistication (although it doesn’t hide the comical love-based lyrics), as does the funky, textured “(Hey You) Free Up Your Mind”).
But nothing obviates how intensely dumb the whole album is. The OST is fun, and poppy, and you can hum along to most of these songs, but thank God the album isn’t much longer than an hour; there comes a point where things turn into an invisible endurance test to see how long you can last. For me, I start lagging behind around the middle; I imagine other listeners will run out of steam earlier than that. It’s not that hard to figure out if this is your cup of tea or not – if you think you’ll like it, you most certainly will. Those who “get it” will feed on it (which is the reason Pokemon has stayed afloat for so long), and those who don’t? Well, it wasn’t made for them, anyway.
