Review Summary: Awful. Simply terrible. But I can't stop listening
I used to think Brokencyde where the worst thing to happen to music. Then I heard We Break Hearts! Not Hymens. Their debut ep Suicide Is The Most Honest Form Of Self Deprecating Humour comes roaring out of the gate at full speed. And for the first ten seconds it's awesome. After an all too short intro, the whiny, clean vocals start, followed immediately by cookie monster death metal growling. They trade off for the first verse until the first breakdown.
At first brush the music sounds like the slightly blackened generic thrash metal that has become really popular. Think Lamb Of God without the riffs or solos and Five Finger Death Punch without the semblance of metal. For the most part, the guitars are preoccupied with providing a constant, unchanging beat for the kiddies to beat each other to all night. "Chugga chugga chugga chugga" and slight variations on that as a guitar rhythm get old almost as soon they are played. If a guitar does play a melodic line, it is only there for a moment before it's swept away.
It's impossible to talk about this music and not talk about crabcore: the first genre of music that the sound being played has nothing to do with the classification of the band. According to the first band to embrace the label, Attack! Attack!, crabcore has to do with how you dance and act on stage. Namely, like a crab. You bend your legs and walk sideways, maybe even making pincers with your hands. I don't know WBH!NH's thoughts on crabcore as a whole but I think it's fair to assume they are at least aware of it. The chorus to the first song Crabomination is "raise your pincers to the sky" and the final song with references to dolphins, sharks, mermaids and seahorses makes me think this whole album is tongue-in-cheek. If it isn't, then it's even worse than I thought.
The defining aspect of this three song ep is a noticeable lack of focus and direction. Things are jammed together here that really should not be. The use of four different vocal styles can be a little much at times. It seems to me there is very little reason to have whiny clean singing, regular clean singing, cookie monster growls and hardcore shouting. The combination of just whiny singing and cookie monster growls might make for a more streamlined and interesting sound. They also do some horrific things instrumentally. Things that should not be done. Thrashy guitars should not be covered in synthesizers and shoved underneath a house beat with a squelching synth over top while one singer whines in multi-track and the other cookie monster growls. At least there's no autotune. Thank goodness for small miracles.
The worst part for me is the combination of modern metal, stripped of any and all riffs, then combined with squelching Daft Punk-style techno. It is impossible to overstate how locked together the bass, guitar and drums are. There are virtually no places where the guitar is playing a riff that's any different from what the drums are playing. There is a genre called chaotic hardcore, where every instrument is going its own direction with nothing tying them together. If there is such a thing as the exact opposite of that, WBH!NH have found it. Each instrument is tied so closely to the other that there is no variation between the songs. The lack of variation in the guitar riffs turns three songs into one giant thrashing whole with too many pieces spoiling the broth.
This album sucks. I can't overstate how much I almost hate this album. I'm approaching the point where I think everyone involved needs to be taken out and shot for crimes against music. But I can't seem to stop listening. Somehow the combination of stale metalcore, constant breakdowns and random techno additions has hooked me. May the lord have mercy on my soul but this generic music has sunk its hooks deep into my brain.
