YakNips
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Last Active 05-05-20 10:16 am
Joined 03-26-13

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And It's You That I'll Remember When I Think Of Love And Awful Things, How Easily It Goes Away

i mean once you kind of accept that you die life isn't so bad, i mean once you just accept everything in front of you, you don't tell people to 'fuck off' anymore there's not too many problems. there's a lack of negative thoughts like 'was it ever worth it?' and although i suppose there's a sort of fatalism//nihilism that goes along with this but i don't think there's any suppression of beauty, in fact more of a surplus of beauty, at least in my case. and i mean you scroll through facebook or something and see something like "i just took a shit and didn't wash my hands" and while it doesn't exactly restore any faith (if any faith had ever truly left) it sort of provides at least something you can grasp on to that makes life alive. like when something arrives in the mail and it's for you but it's not in your name, or when you're the only one in a designated area without a certain thing or quality, that's why things are bad. that's why we don't feel good. of course plenty of people make excuses, blame others, but why?? they don't have any control, none of us do like it seems pretty ignorant that people are unable to realize this. "even important people don't know what they're doing" as if i was happy before, i am now, i think. (i want to be in control, i believe, i can be)
1S
Cool Choices

and well i mean this is a music website, and honestly i don't think most people listen to music
in the same way. it's different for everyone. (dime a dozen observation, i know, fuck my anus)
but i mean i don't see how anyone could live any other way than being constantly shadowed
by this wave of subdued sound..(no matter how loud, how dissonant, this sound is, it is always
subdued. there is always some beauty.) because when jenn ghetto says something like
"believe there is someone that loves you" it alters everything. the moment we are in is
everything, because we are in that moment. i don't like to think this about though. what the
point is, is jenn ghetto (among other people) is my spirit animal. she is a soul that creates
what we long for, or at least what i long for as a human, this doubtless affirmation that i am
alive, that i exist, that i am beautiful, and not in any sort of superficial way either. outside
beauty (i hate that term) is nothing (i also hate how i worded that.) and i'm not saying that
because i'm unattractive. i mean anyone can say something like "we are the stardust that
created us" but to truly mean that, is something i can find solace in.
2Grouper
Ruins

already knee deep.....
take me to the next life, not that i am not glad to be in this one. this is one of the reasons
why, the sounds. the endless nodding off, as if i were on some sort of opiate. life is a sort of
opiate. and i mean you can say anything is "pretty" but do you truly understand what it is??
what the appeal is?? i cannot say. not even the person uttering these words can say. we all
have to figure it out at one point or another, whether the first time you have sex and it's
desperate and uncomfortable, or when you look into a mirror and don't exactly feel like you
want to leave the room you are in, or when you cry, or when you laugh, or perhaps the
second before you die and your life sort of "flashes before your life." we all realize these things
at some point, or at least that's what i've convinced myself. and things like "our love" mean
everything as well as nothing at all when you embrace not yourself, but everything else. you
are only a vessel.
3The World is a Beautiful Place...
Between Bodies

and obviously we alter our mind through many different things, many different forms of
escapism, whatever our drug of choice may be. (what a stupid sentence) and through bloated
stream-of-consciousness style pretense (but in a good way) this is one of the things i see
mostly. and obviously improper grammar and use of average vocabulary (on my part, not
chris) can prove to be something less than special to almost anyone, but it is through our
perception alone that we see things. i do not see things from your eyes. i do not think
through your mind. when i look down and think i see my phone laying on my lap, and do not,
this is odd. but you do not experience this. (another dime a dozen observation, great job jak)
and i mean although it shouldn't the perception of others can have a huge toll on us. (both
negative and positive, but in this situation i'm referring more to negative) as you let it get in
your mind. 'perhaps i am wrong' you are. i am me. you are you. "let the light in", because
you may not understand, and so may i.
4Whirr
Sway

when things happen that make you tired, or "sad" perse, these are not bad. these are not
negative. we make them negative. every emotion we experience, in a sense, is neutral. it is
only our perception (there's that word again) that makes us feel like this. and ridiculous
statements made by myself and others don't change anything, but what does?? only small
changes, small beliefs, and miniscule head nodding. like when you sit still and think and feel
nothing, this is why i am alive. this is why i was birthed. i am not to do anything substantial.
and i honestly don't have any problem with this (i think) but pretty much the whole point i try
to make through everything is that while you are dead, we are both dead, do not deny this,
our existence is eternal. the concept of "faith" may involve fooling yourself but that's just part
of our grand perception. and this is why breathe, this is why we water the flowers, why we
meme hard. the humour of life is based in its many ironies. when i say "smoke the dank
vveed" i want you to do it.
5Julia Brown
An Abundance of Strawberries

where and when you experience something is of upmost (i had that as utmost for a bit)
importance. the way you hear it, could change based on anything. these little distractions take
you away, like when you hear the most beautiful thing you've ever heard with the windows
down in the parking lot of a juvenile detention center. this is something that can persuade
you. this is something that can entrance you, convince you. "i am more than the sum of my
parts". it's not a sort of confidence, but it's similar. you do not have the courage, but you have
the comfort, and you have the ability. this is what this is to me. this is not what this is to you.
it takes one thing to realize another and although you may not understand, this is perfectly
acceptable. everything takes away from your experience, and everything can add onto it as
well. life is better when you share it with yourself, you can trust me on this. life is perfect, but
you make it such through will. cry your eyes out and love every second of it.
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