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Soundoffs 1 News Articles 8 Band Edits + Tags 1 Album Edits 49
Album Ratings 300 Objectivity 73%
Last Active 02-16-11 5:19 am Joined 09-02-06
Review Comments 1,220
| Danny McBride vs. The Xenomorphs (No Spoilies)
Well, Prometheus was quite disappointing, but its deleted scenes were all extremely good, and goddamn if Ridley Scott doesn't have me excited for a return to whatever random moon frustratingly adjacent to LV-426 we'll be visiting this go-round. Also, I'll be consuming copious, Danny McBride-sanctioned amounts of whiskey beforehand, so it'll be a fun time, even if the film itself isn't. List is digs and other Alien films ranked. | 7 | | Forest Swords Compassion
AVP: Requiem - Hesitated to even include this and its predecessor, since they are the textbook definition of cash-grabs (and also, as a secondary definition, hot garbage), but Showtime must have recently gotten the rights and aired the hell out of this thing a few months back, so it's top of mind for that reason (plus, I have enough digs to justify it). Just bad. John Ortiz deserves much better. At the absolute least, this film *did* do us the courtesy of killing the spin-off franchise. | 6 | | Pond (AUS) Beard, Wives, Denim
Alien: Resurrection - Yep, legitimately think this is worse than the first AVP. Maybe it's got to do with when I saw it (which has legitimately been the better part of a decade ago, at this point; then again, so was AVP, so...), but I feel like the goofy-meets-grossout tone of this film never quite congealed into anything more than that. I will tip my cap to the one escape pod portion, though, and seeing a xenomorph swim around was nifty, as far as that goes (which is to say, not very). | 5 | | Sampha Process
AVP - By no means what you could call a Good Film, or even a Halfway Decent One, but it was, at the least, a hell of a lot more fun than virtually anything else in either leg of the proudly dour franchise. Sometimes, you just need some brainless fun to make the popcorn taste better, and it's always (well, sometimes) nice to see Lance Henriksen, even if it means he's single-handedly fucking up franchise canon. | 4 | | The Menzingers After the Party
Prometheus - As mentioned above, I came out of this movie extremely disappointed, perhaps mainly because of its insistence on squandering potential when- and wherever the opportunity presented. Oh, we've got Idris Elba on the cast? Let's put him in two scenes. Let's slather Guy Pearce (so good as the new Peter Weyland in that viral pre-release TED talk bit) in old man CGI, confine Patrick Wilson's all-of-a-sudden important father to a single, bizarre flashback, & make one of our lead "protagonists" openly unlikable. And that's to say nothing of the plot, such as it is, with all its geologists scared of petrified fossils but pet-happy when it comes to threatening centipede-cobras and absurdly vague villains, which at one's very kindest might be described as half-baked. But, at the very least, you can't fault the film for being ambitious, and I'll be damned if some of the action scenes (including the aforementioned cobras, in spite of everything) from being pretty goddamn gripping. | 3 | | Childish Gambino "Awaken, My Love!"
Alien3 - I'm referring specifically to the "Assembly Cut" here, but I think this is the most unjustly derided entry in the franchise. If nothing else, you have to respect the choice the film made when it came to hitting a hard reset on just who escaped unscathed from the previous entry, bleak and crowd-displeasing as that choice might have been. Its effects don't quite hold up--twas the 90s, after all, when sci-fi directors never met a practical effect they couldn't "improve" with stop-motion-puppet-esque CGI--but the story and performances absolutely do, and it without a doubt has the most effectively gloomy atmosphere in the entire series. Honestly, if the original cut's ending had been used in the otherwise far superior extended version, it might have even made it further up. Plus, getting to see the once-and-future Hand of the King Tywin Lannister sink his teeth into an important but all-too-brief role is pretty awesome for a certain subset of nerds. | 2 | | Day Wave The Days We Had
Aliens - Well, really not much to say on this one that hasn't been said already and eloquently elsewhere. There's a reason it's considered by many to be the Platonic Ideal for action movies, and its setpieces have truly stood the test of time in a way that those of pretty much everything else in the series--even, to a degree, the original--have not. So many quotable lines and memorable characters, but I think its true success lies in its willingness to not simply retread the original, and actually strike out in a new direction (the same reason I like Alien3, in that sense). Oftentimes, the bigger is better mentality is what can sink a sequel, especially in a field as rife with creative sinkholes as sci-fi, but in this case, more really is more. | 1 | | Pinegrove Everything So Far
Alien - There's a justifiable argument for swapping this and #2, and to distill it down into overly simplistic terms, I think it ultimately comes down to whether you favor horror or action, and that I happen to fall into the former camp. Still, that aside, mood and atmosphere once again go a tremendously long way for this film, which hand-in-hand with its naturalistic performances and show-don't-tell style of world-building (here, the proverbial iceberg approach is employed far more effectively than whatever frigid flotsam and jetsam was at work in the purposefully obfuscating Prometheus) make it the crowning achievement of not just the franchise, but also the genre as a whole. Plus, although these days the device overall could be read as cheap, but goddamned if the jump scares like the facehugger and tunnel chase don't hold up. Here's hoping Ridley's latest go-round is more in tune with this masterful, remarkable entry into this disgusting, beautiful, compelling universe. | |
artiswar
05.19.17 | Resurrection is not worse than AVP, shut up. | thecheatisnotdead
05.19.17 | I mean, with those, it's honestly just a question of which I disliked more, and with the time/mindset I saw it, Resurrection takes the cake. From a technical perspective, it's very much the better-made of the two, though. | Papa Universe
05.19.17 | I feel like Prometheus was originally a collection of cool looking scenes Ridley Scott assembled in his head and then just tied them all up to make it seem somewhat coherent. | thecheatisnotdead
05.19.17 | I'd agree with that. | Kalopsia
05.19.17 | I've heard a couple people say you should really watch Prometheus to be able to understand Covenant well...
which is disappointing if true cuz I've not heard many good things about Prometheus, sounds like a chore | Spluger
05.19.17 | Alien 3 over 4?!?! 4 was so bad it's fun, 3 is just... bland imo. I don't think I saw the cut of it you're referring to though, I'll have to check it out. | literallyzach
05.19.17 | no three is secretly a misunderstood mediation on ripley's character and the setting is intriguing. four is a mess and so is three but at least it feels intentional four just feels....... dumb | Source
05.19.17 | "Resurrection is not worse than AVP, shut up."
It's way worse. AVP is a somewhat enjoyable mediocre movie, whereas Resurrection is an atrocity. The only good part is when Ron Perlman shoots the spider. | artiswar
05.19.17 | Every movie in this franchise is an atrocity after the first 2. Resurrection is at least entertaining unlike the joyless Alien 3, AVP and Prometheus. | Slex
05.19.17 | original is the best horror movie ever made, favorite sci-fi franchise here
thought the new one was very good but still disappointing, i'd give it like a 7.5 | ScuroFantasma
05.19.17 | First AVP is pretty fun honestly. Second one is way too dark though, can't see anything.
| grannypantys
05.20.17 | i agree
3 is the best minus the ugly alien animation |
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