User
Reviews 9 Approval 84%
Soundoffs 12 News Articles 6 Band Edits + Tags 99 Album Edits 49
Album Ratings 2069 Objectivity 68%
Last Active 10-07-20 1:30 am Joined 04-05-10
Review Comments 19,025
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Tyler.
03.07.18 | hey | SteakByrnes
03.07.18 | waddup babe | macman76
03.07.18 | I got a horror one for you. Once upon a time, a statistician calculated the p value for a model of an important study she had conducted. The p value was 0.051. | Tyler.
03.07.18 | jesus christ i may have to delete that one macman | Sinternet
03.07.18 | snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....
BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF
Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....
BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT
Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes…. | Tyler.
03.07.18 | ........ | Sinternet
03.07.18 | I knew you'd enjoy my story | cold
03.07.18 | Why did I read that in a Japanese lady voice, sint? | TheSpaceMan
03.07.18 | Go sledding | Dinosaur
03.07.18 | What even | brainmelter
03.07.18 | nice kinoko teikoku profile pic | macman76
03.07.18 | Tyler.051 | TheSpaceMan
03.07.18 | Tyler has a large confidence interval | bgillesp
03.07.18 | I ran today in the snow.
... And then I found $20. I win! | Trebor.
03.07.18 | Ah, The Trees. The song makes me think of the Kurt Vonnegut short story "Harrison Bergeron", which presents a world where absolutely social equality is enforced by crippling those with special abilities so they are at the same level as the lowest common denominator. It's essentially a clever retelling of the "tall poppy syndrome", where people want to cut people with more money, talent, better looks, or whatever, down to size. I'm not sure if at the end the maples have arranged to have the oaks literally cut down to size, or if the maples' agitations have led to the whole forest being clear cut, but either way it's a clever jibe at those who nurse resentments and want to bring down those above them in some way. | macman76
03.07.18 | Tyler’s CI overlaps with 0. Thus, it is inconclusive and it goes both ways. | Sniff
03.07.18 | Did someone say Sniff? | Tyler.
03.07.18 | what | Frivolous
03.07.18 | hey tyler....... | SandwichBubble
03.07.18 | Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totaled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged
Went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how
She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude
She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another 'auld lang syne'
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain | Frippertronics
03.07.18 | Once upon a time, Tyler found a Ryuichi Sakamoto cd on campus. It was good. THE END
| Tyler.
03.07.18 | i need more stories | Spec
03.07.18 | YA BITCH WHOS THE CANADIAN NOW | Trebor.
03.07.18 | I lived in a pretty big apartment complex when I was a kid. In one of the buildings on the second floor above the pool there was a party suite. It was a couple of rooms, like a dancefloor thing, and they had a room with a big tv and couches and shit. People could book this room for parties or whatever. Anyway, I hung out with a lot of kids in my apartment complex, and this rumor started to go around that there were porn channels on the tv in the party room. Me and my friend Tyler were very intrigued by this
The door to the party suite was always locked of course, but there was a third level above it, a sun roof sort of thing where people could sunbath, and attached to the party room was a balcony, and you could see the balcony from the sun roof. This one kid once claimed that the patio door was never locked, and that once he hopped down from the sun roof onto the patio, opened the door, and watched porn and it was awesome. This kid was full of shit obviously but we believed him
One day me and Tyler were chilling on the sun roof and one of us brought up this story and how awesome it was. We wished we had the guts to be like that kid. And then, it happened, I dared Tyler to recreate the tale, to hop down from the sun roof onto the balcony, and open the door for the both of us so we could watch porn together.
| Trebor.
03.07.18 | This was not my proudest moment. He fucking did it, he actually did it. He jumped down to the patio. Now the drop was only like 6 feet, not a big deal, but of course, the patio door was locked. Tyler was stuck. He could try to jump down from the patio to the pool level, but that was like 12 feet, and onto hard concrete. Tyler was scared, he cried out to me that it was locked and that I needed to help him. I fucking bailed dude. I didn't know what to do. I just went home and I played videos games and kind of forgot about it.
A couple hours later I heard a knock on my door. I looked through the peephole, it was Tyler, he looked pissed and had clearly been crying. I let him in, he called me an asshole for bailing on him, I couldn’t deny, he was right. I apologized, but I had to know, dude how the fuck did you get out of the situation? I assumed he jumped down like a fucking badass. It turns out that a maintenance worker unlocked the door and escorted him out. Apparently the maintenance worker heard crying coming from the balcony and went to check it out. Tyler said the guy didn’t even rat him out to his parents because he was crying so hard and he felt bad for him lol.
I still can’t believe I bitched out so hard. Thank god that maintenance guy was so cool
| MyNameIsPencil
03.07.18 | Trebor thank you for that
actually got a good laugh out of me | butcherboy
03.07.18 | Tyler, the Creator - Tyler = The Creator, who made snow, according to some people in the desert.. The End | MyNameIsPencil
03.07.18 | here's a simple story I love to tell
my dad took me and my younger (by 13 months mind you) brother to see Batman Begins when that came out in 2005, so I was like... 8. Well my brother was so excited to see it, he didn't want to leave the movie for a second to use the bathroom.
The dumbass pissed himself and I didn't even know until after we got home. Something I make sure to mention to every girl he's ever dated | MyNameIsPencil
03.07.18 | if he doesn't say it first mind you | Tyler.
03.08.18 | thank you for the feautre | Beautiful
03.08.18 | hai? | Tyler.
03.08.18 | .........hey | ScuroFantasma
03.08.18 | "I just went home and I played videos games and kind of forgot about it."
Ice cold | TVC15
03.08.18 | the car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel
and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
and a dark wind blows
the government is corrupt
and we're on so many drugs
with the radio on and the curtains drawn
we're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
and the machine is bleeding to death
the sun has fallen down
and the billboards are all leering
and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles
it went like this:
the buildings tumbled in on themselves
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble
and pulled out their hair
the skyline was beautiful on fire
all twisted metal stretching upwards
everything washed in a thin orange haze
i said: "kiss me, you're beautiful -
these are truly the last days"
you grabbed my hand and we fell into it
like a daydream or a fever
we woke up one morning and fell a little further down -
for sure it's the valley of death
i open up my wallet
and it's full of blood | Drifter
03.08.18 | Tvc win | Prancer
03.08.18 | Fuck the snow and fuck new jersey | Spec
03.08.18 | Actually AR doesn't stand for assault rifle, rather it stands for the original manufacturer Armalite Rifle. AR 15 is semiautomatic and does't meet Federal requirements to be classified as an assault rifle. | granitenotebook
03.08.18 | one time when i was like 10 i was running through the hall of a church building after boy scouts and I ran into a door jamb face first. i broke my nose hard, there's still blood stains on the carpet in that room. it ended up giving me two black eyes which was good for halloween that year since i was indiana jones | granitenotebook
03.08.18 | a friend of mine claims as a teen he once played borderlands for 12 hours straight while "put that a$$ to work" by lmfao played on loop | granitenotebook
03.08.18 | another friend of mine went to thailand. before he went he researched online and found some sketchy forum post that said you could stay for cheaper than a hotel at this one obscure garden area. so he tried it out and it turns out it worked, even though it wasn't advertised at all. in this garden place there were various open areas with curtains leading to the next area, like a path. my friend stayed in the next-to-last area. unbeknownst to him at the time, the king of thailand was staying in the last area (reserved for royals). my friend woke up the next morning and saw a man walking through the curtain towards the exit, so he said "sup" and waved, the man nodded back. he later realized he had sup'd the king | Tyler.
03.08.18 | Sup | deathschool
03.08.18 | Is confessing that I'm still suicidal despite the appearance of meager progress count a story? Also, I'm ordering Chinese food, do you want anything? | Tyler.
03.08.18 | Same dude :[ also grab me some sweet and sour chicken | Spec
03.08.18 | what do you have to eat | kris.
03.08.18 | hi tyler wyd | TVC15
03.08.18 | Tvc win [2] | brosephmcbrah
03.08.18 | So my friends and I were all hanging out, having a lowkey night, drinking and watching Archer. I drove over, so I wasn't drinking. Then, a few of our friends got a text from a guy in our major (we were all English majors at the time). He had invited them and anyone they could bring to his "Kegger and Yeager" party. He was notorious for throwing wild parties, always with a rhyming theme (Hipsters and Strippers, Mythical Creatures and School Teachers, etc.) and since we weren't doing anything, we decided to go.
Since I hadn't been drinking, I drove us. He lived a few miles from campus, on a dark street. Google Maps sent us to the wrong address, but it was just a block down the neighborhood, so we walked over.
When we arrived, before we even knock on the door (for courtesy before just entering, as you do at college parties) a man wearing a La-Laa Telletubbie costume pulls the door open. When he asks us who we are, we say we know the host and he stands aside and lets us in. When he closes the door, he turns back to his friend, a 6'5" bearded man in a plaid button-up. They'll be important later.
We do normal party things: awkwardly join circles and try to make friends, watch the host skateboard down his own stairs and put a hole in the wall, end up talking to just us in a circle in the basement.
One of our friends, we'll call her L, decided that she was too intoxicated, so she sat down against a wall, while we continued chatting. The bearded man from earlier, we call him the Lumberjack, thought this was a wonderful time to walk across the room and sit down next to L. He began talking to her but looked even more intoxicated. He was swaying and his eyes were completely dead. Not ready to chuck, but close to being ready. Seeing this, I decide to help L out, since she had a boyfriend at the time, and sat down on the other side of her, jumping into the conversation. Eventually, the Lumberjack left, slightly annoyed. [1/??] | brosephmcbrah
03.08.18 | We had a few more interactions with the Lumberjack, who, during my interaction with him in a hallway (just a simple chat about what I was studying), La-Laa walked by, bumping into the Lumberjack, which sent him in a drunken tizzy.
While we were hanging out with the host, his drunken friend on a study-abroad program from Germany told another of our friends that she shouldn't take any drinks from anyone at this party. At which point we all decided to gtfo.
As we were leaving, we were stopped at the door by La-Laa, who said "Hey, whose drivin' you home?" To which I responded "Me. I'm sober and DD." Which I was.
As we left the house, two of our friends were caught by the Lumberjack, who again asked him "Whose drivin' you home?" To which one responded "Andrew. He's sober. Goodnight."
As we were walking back to my car (which, remember, was about a block away), me and L had made it further than our two other friends. I glance back to see the Lumberjack and La-Laa standing at the doorway, yelling something incomprehensible at our friends, now walking arm in arm quickly. I turned back to unlock my car for L when suddenly, the two stragglers yelled "Start the car! Start the car!" I turn back to see them both sprinting toward me, the Lumberjack and the La-Laa chasing them.
We all dove into the car, locked the doors, and buckled our seatbelts. I put the car into drive, when the Lumberjack jumped onto my hood, laying stomach first, grabbing hold of my windshield wipers. When I told him to fuck off, he responded "I need to ask you a question" to which I responded "fuck the fuck off".
I try to reverse, but that's when I notice La-Laa, sitting criss-cross on my trunk. Scared and anxious, L calls the host to tell him that we need him to get his friends off our car.
While he's making his way to our car, the Lumberjack and La-Laa keep trying to ask me a question, but won't say anything or move until I roll down my window, which I wouldn't do. When the host finally arrived, he began to talk to them, coming over to my window to explain to me "They just want to ask you a question."
Finally, the Lumberjack shifted enough so I could accelerate and throw both him and La-Laa off without running them over.
One night we were out at a bar, years later, when we saw both the Lumberjack and La-Laa (out of costume). We asked them about that night but they didn't remember.
I think this story is a mess, but I like to tell it because it has no ending and honestly no real climax. idk. hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, I understand. [2/2] | Tyler.
03.08.18 | good stories all around but i need more | Tyler.
03.22.18 | another one | SandwichBubble
03.22.18 | Tyler's been trapped in by the snow this whole time, living off crumbs and stale cereal. Someone save him | betray
03.22.18 | wyd | SteakByrnes
03.22.18 | Tyler do you mind if I dab on you real quick? | Tyler.
03.22.18 | dont | SteakByrnes
03.22.18 | >:[ | BerryGarlicia
10.27.18 | ]:< |
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