Cells
11.16.11 | list=digs |
Trebor.
11.16.11 | baby I'm an anarchist |
BallsToTheWall
11.16.11 | I like 5-9 handsome, muscular guys who enjoy working out and listen to metal. Irish heritage is a plus. He's gotta have charm, humor, intelligence be a real independent thinker and have ambition. Oh and he's gotta have an open mind. He's also gotta be a little bit on the crazy side and not be afraid of watching Twilight. |
Maniac!
11.16.11 | A woman who thinks for herself and can carry an intellectual conversation beyond generic rhetoric. |
AsoTamaki
11.16.11 | Most of the album art and names on this page are ridiculously hilarious. |
iFghtffyrdmns
11.16.11 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljbZKQIUZvM&feature=g-lo |
iFghtffyrdmns
11.16.11 | actually trebor i like your comment better than mine so good job |
JWT155
11.16.11 | I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooong jacket. |
Trebor.
11.16.11 | A girl who isn't dumb as fuck, but also not a hipster
So basically no one |
qwe3
11.16.11 | I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. |
lyon1535
11.16.11 | I am the perfect girl |
StrangerofSorts
11.16.11 | Don't know about you, que, but the morning sun doesn't turn me on. I want a girl who looks like Miss World. |
lucasjcockcroft
11.16.11 | what color are your fucking eyes.
|
Cells
11.16.11 | If the sun doesnt make you smile or bring warmth into your heart then youre a sad fuck. |
Scoot
11.16.11 | i highly highly doubt that most of you will be able to get anything close to what you described
people like that don't exist |
MaskAtTheMasquerade
11.16.11 | I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooong jacket.
lllmmaaaoooo! |
qwe3
11.16.11 | |
qwe3
11.16.11 | I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as the morning sun. |
Trebor.
11.16.11 | lowered expectations
|
BallsToTheWall
11.16.11 | I need a girl with a face as gorgeous as mine.
However I think that's a bit unrealistic. There isn't a woman alive or dead that compares to my attractiveness. |
StrangerofSorts
11.16.11 | "If the sun doesnt make you smile or bring warmth into your heart then youre a sad fuck."
1) What I said was a joke. Don't lash out at people over the internet over jokes, it doesn't reflect well. 2) The reason people feel all fuzzy when the sun is shining on them is because the energy radiating from it excites nerve endings. Not feeling that would make me disabled, not emotionally impaired. |
Maniac!
11.16.11 | I don't see how you are being annoying and/or funny, qwe. Is there a point to you spamming that sentence repeatedly? |
lyon1535
11.16.11 | I don't see how you are being annoying and/or funny, Maniac!. Is there a point to you spamming that sentence repeatedly? |
Cells
11.16.11 | |
lyon1535
11.16.11 | |
whywontyoudie
11.16.11 | green eyes, dark brown hair, around 5' 6", witty, likes to smoke some weed and just listen to music every now and then. guess i'll keep dreaming though. doesn't exist around here. |
ITsHxCTOASTER
11.16.11 | lol andcas is the man |
Cells
11.16.11 | @Stranger
1. What a funny joke bro, really caught that with the tone of voice.
2.Actually there has been links between depression and lack of sunlight better known as SAD. |
lyon1535
11.16.11 | SAD = Sad asshole disorder |
Kimm
11.16.11 | It's funny because most of these descriptions are me to a tee, and yet...
I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not what you're looking for. |
taxidermist
11.16.11 | You have a latin ass? :3 |
ITsHxCTOASTER
11.16.11 | That's a little arrogant there Kimm |
Vesper
11.16.11 | I guess I fit most of these, except for the "latin ass", for obvious reasons, but I am a nerdy bitch who would totally dismiss you because of your poor grammar in the last sentence, puahahahaha. |
Jash
11.16.11 | smaller in height, great ass, enjoys experiencing drugs on occasion, loves music and art, funny, asian...
oh wait i dont have to look anymore i already found it |
lyon1535
11.16.11 | I fit most of these (especially the latin ass) except I'm a dude. |
Trebor.
11.16.11 | All this talk about latin ass
What ever happened to good old fashioned pancake butt? |
lyon1535
11.16.11 | I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm exactly what you're looking for. |
Cells
11.16.11 | @Vesper hahahaha grammar nazi's wouldnt bother me unless you're as intense as that old lady in A series of unfortunate events. Also, I see you got black metal in ur pie, thats cool. |
lyon1535
11.16.11 | "I see you've got black metal in ur pie"
Sounds painful |
MO
11.16.11 | my gf |
Vesper
11.16.11 | Nah, I'm not that bad, Cells, haha.
Oh, I also don't smoke. Missed that one. Or drink, and this seems to confuse a lot of people.
I like cats, andcas. :3
I also already have a boyfriend, haha. |
Vesper
11.16.11 | Take me to this immortal cat you speak of. |
Trebor.
11.16.11 | Cats are better |
robertsona
11.16.11 | emma watson with short hair |
Maniac!
11.16.11 | "It's funny because most of these descriptions are me to a tee"
Not my description. |
PayneTiger777
11.16.11 | I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooong, loooooooooooooooooooooooooong jacket. |
Cells
11.16.11 | Cats never complain when you scratch their pussy. |
theashesfromautumn01
11.16.11 | i loves them beautiful goils |
Deviant.
11.17.11 | The ability to breathe is always a good starting point. Anything after that is just a bonus |
Acanthus
11.17.11 | I enjoy when they're right beside me at a concert rocking as hard or harder than I am, it's a nice perk. I don't really consciously look for anything, nor do I go around constantly casting my gaze over them to see if there are any "potentials" in the crowd. I like to randomly find people I can connect with, it's served me well. |
taylormemer
11.17.11 | No way Dev. You like them dead. |
UnnamedOcean
11.17.11 | I look for traits which almost no females possess. |
newjunkaesthetic93
11.17.11 | as long as her fingernails shine like justice... |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Dev has higher standards for music than for his gals, I see. |
Kimm
11.17.11 | 1. Dark hair is my preference on myself.
2. I am one to stand up for myself and my beliefs, regardless of what people think pf me.
3. Sorry, out of luck on that one.
4. Contrary to this community's popular opinion, I am intelligent.
5. It may not be Latin, but it's nice.
6. I'm always willing to try new things ;). The catch is you'd have to marry me first.
7. Well this is just entirely subjective.
8. Okay, nope. Working on quittin' ciggies.
9. Once again, subjective. Depends on what you mean by that.
10. Aaaaabsolutely.
6. |
Kimm
11.17.11 | Hello, random 6. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | A girl who is willing to have sex with me. |
wabbit
11.17.11 | your beliefs suck though so they aren't what anyone will ever look for. |
Activista anti-MTV
11.17.11 | I went down among the dust and pollen
To the old stone fountain in the morning after dawn
Underneath were all these pennies fallen from the hands of children
They were there and then they were gone
And I wonder what became of them
What became of them
Sunlight over me no matter what I do
Apples in the Summer are golden sweet
Everyday a passing complete
I'm not one to ever pray for mercy
Or to wish on pennies in the fountain or the shrine
But that day you know I left my money
And I thought of you only
All that copper glowing fine
And I wonder what become of you
What became of you
Sunlight over me no matter what I do
Apples in the summer are golden sweet
Everyday a passing complete
Apples in the summer are golden sweet
Everyday a passing complete
In the morning waking up to terrible sunlight
All diffuse like skin abuse the sun is half it's size
When you talk you hardly even look in my eye
In the morning, in the morning
In the doorway holding every letter that I wrote
In the driveway pulling away putting on your coat
In the ocean washing off my name from your throat
In the morning, in the morning
In the ocean washing off my name from your throat
In the morning, in the morning
Green apples hang from my tree
They belong only to me
Green apples hang from my green apple tree
They belong only to, only to me
And if I just stay awhile here staring at the sea
And the waves break ever closer, ever near to me
I will lay down in the sand and let the ocean lead
Carry me to innisfree like pollen on the breeze
|
Cells
11.17.11 | foreverendeared why is that almost all your comments make me lol |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | A girl who isn't very religious |
Maniac!
11.17.11 | A woman who thinks for herself and can carry an intellectual conversation beyond generic rhetoric. [2] |
Cells
11.17.11 | hmm I wonder who said that, probably a very smart man |
Maniac!
11.17.11 | I hear that he'll never find what he's looking for. |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | a girl who isnt a dumb bitch but it also good looking
/thread |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | "foreverendeared why is that almost all your comments make me lol"
Trust me, you are the only one. |
ShadowRemains
11.17.11 | what hyperion said |
dammets
11.17.11 | I don't care for a girl who's similar to me. I just want a girl who understands me. |
wabbit
11.17.11 | man I don't want a girl who's similar to me cause I don't like cock. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Lower your standards. Settle for a 7. |
coneren
11.17.11 | a sweet set of jugs |
KILL
11.17.11 | a girl who digs kill em all but knows mustaine wrote half of it |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | wata |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Needs more BBW's. |
Vesper
11.17.11 | What you guys really mean is a woman who is all these things and will somehow miraculously settle for you. |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Lol.
Only if you're happy with that, Hanson. :] |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Personality > physically superior genetics. All that matters really but there's not alot of girls down here wait...I am jonesing bad for that hipster restaraunt. BAD!!!!!!! I NEED WAFFLE AND OMELET.'
Also lol at settling in 20's. |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Oh, ouch. That really hurt, man. Just owned my non-Latin ass. |
toxin.
11.17.11 | Intelligent (not necessarily booksmart although we'd have more to relate to), attractive (what? I'm shallow... it's genetics), have a good sense of humor, likable, medium length hair (none of this short hair nonsense). It needs to be someone who is similar-minded/has similar values (like not doing drugs, living in the moment but not recklessly, etc.) We don't have to have similar interests necessarily (like movies, music, gaming, etc.) but that never hurts.
Surprisingly I know someone who is pretty much everything like that but I blew my chance (?) and now she's taken so whatever. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | i think i could only date myself if i were to go back to datin' girls. like a clone or some shit.
kind of out of luck on 3 and 9. petite and straight-laced. rebellious girls are too predictable. |
zxlkho
11.17.11 | "I like a girl who will stand up for herself and for her beliefs not just some bitch who tries to be liked by everybody."
Honestly, this is the only trait I even remotely care about. |
ThyCrossAwaits
11.17.11 | 2, 4, and 7777777777777 |
coneren
11.17.11 | HEY ROSA |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/390328_10150953258585534_682250533_21884696_128258476_n.jpg
THIS ANGELIC BEAST"
i've never seen someone so objectively attractive that has done absolutely nothing for my tastes. something weirds me out about ban's face |
Relinquished
11.17.11 | looooooool this list |
Vesper
11.17.11 | I'll admit I walked right into that one, Ilu, hahaha. |
Scoot
11.17.11 | bottom line: you want a girl who is good looking but doesn't really know it (so she's not a kniving bitch) |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Dude I got food poisoning from this BBQ joint I loved, lost more than 10 pounds. I was back there a week or two later. Never surrender. I have no ill feelings to the place, it fucking ruled. |
coneren
11.17.11 | YEAH LETS DATE |
MO
11.17.11 | "What you guys really mean is a woman who is all these things and will somehow miraculously settle for you."
fucking lol |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Girls who are actually good looking ALWAYS know they are, Scoot. Some are actually mature about it, though. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | what exactly do the sputnik men have to offer? |
Vesper
11.17.11 | @ balc- That, exactly, every time I see lists about women on here. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "lol balc ban is okay looking just THOSE BLACK HOLE EYEEEEEES"
is it that though? i think something might be up with symmetry... idk |
ffs
11.17.11 | a girl w// a dick. No balls though im not gay lol hehe |
Relinquished
11.17.11 | lol ffs |
Scoot
11.17.11 | "Girls who are actually good looking ALWAYS know they are, Scoot. Some are actually mature about it, though."
fair enough, but you definitely want to steer clear of the ones that can't be. |
Scoot
11.17.11 | "What you guys really mean is a woman who is all these things and will somehow miraculously settle for you."
and lol this |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | what exactly do the sputnik men have to offer?
More than you know toots. |
ShadowRemains
11.17.11 | "what exactly do the sputnik men have to offer?"
good music taste
although a lot of them are lacking that department as well... |
balcaen
11.17.11 | isn't there a dating site that matches you up with someone based on compatiblity on last.fm? i don't need this fuckin' sputnik shit |
Relinquished
11.17.11 | I got great physical appearance, money, music taste and skill, good car, great job
I'm taken |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | who needs dating when there's mail order brides? Im thinking about ordering myself a nice 19 year old Romanian from the slums. |
Scoot
11.17.11 | "scoot is my dreamgirl tbh"
"he oozes rugged manliness" - john hanson |
Scoot
11.17.11 | hence the double quote |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | There will be plenty of hot single guys at the Breaking Dawn Premier in Hollywood tomorrow. Namely.....Me! |
ShadowRemains
11.17.11 | lol wolfe |
Activista anti-MTV
11.17.11 | Looking for: Maverick
Settle for: Cavalier |
Scoot
11.17.11 | looking for: bentley
settle for: pinto |
Masochist
11.17.11 | I WANNA BITCH THAT LOOK GOOD AND COOK GOOD
CINDERELLA FANTASY, BUT SHE STILL LOOK HOOD
BUTT NAKED IN THE KITCHEN FLIPPIN PANCAKES
PLUS SHE TRICKIN' FROM THE DOUGH THAT HER MAN MAKES
WE GOT OUR OWN HANDSHAKE; HER TITTIES AIN'T FAKE
FUCKIN' IN THE CAR CAUSE WE JUST CAN'T WAIT
TO GET HOME
EARLY IN THE MORN, GETTIN' STONED
PRETTY WITH HER EYES LOW; RUNNIN' BY BIBLE
...ghetto dreams. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | this list forgets to mention lack of daddy issues and no emotional baggage from psychotic ex-boyfriends/girlfriends |
Scoot
11.17.11 | "no emotional baggage from psychotic ex-boyfriends/girlfriends"
pretty much impossible, everyone has dated a retard at some point |
Masochist
11.17.11 | All right...I've never taken this question seriously, but for my own curiosity, I'll actually sit down and think about this, for my own sake. This is what I look for when considering whether I would want to start something with a girl:
- She has to put up with me.
-
-
-
...I guess that's it. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "pretty much impossible, everyone has dated a retard at some point"
you far underestimate "everyone"'s better judgment
damn what's this fetish for damaged chicks everyone has |
Scoot
11.17.11 | perhaps i shouldn't have said everyone, but a lot of girls have next to no judgement. they will stay with complete douches for years in some cases. |
Scoot
11.17.11 | dp |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "perhaps i shouldn't have said everyone, but a lot of girls have next to no judgement. they will stay with complete douches for years in some cases"
you're probably right actually. i just remembered i have dated a few retards. well, not retards, just harmless derps. nothing lasting over 2 months though. |
Masochist
11.17.11 | "damn what's this fetish for damaged chicks everyone has"
It's the exact opposite of the fetish that girls have for "bad boys," but it's ironically for the exact same reason: they hope that they can be the one to fix/tame her/him. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | Every girl I've dated was either really damaged when I met them, or they ended up that way by the time we broke up. Take that as you will. |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Couldn't compete with your vagina, forever. |
Yazz_Flute
11.17.11 | I want a girl who spells "ho" as if it weren't merely a tool used to cultivate the earth. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "damaged chicks are generally more into embarrassing rough sex tbh"
that's a lie. chicks are split half and half between digging humiliating submissive shit and being vanilla. damaged chicks are just slightly scarier when they cry during/afterward |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | "Couldn't compete with your vagina, forever."
No one can... no one. |
Vesper
11.17.11 | You sound quite experienced with this, balc. |
Cells
11.17.11 | lol |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | In my limited experience, it's the really nice "normal" chicks that were freaky in bed. The damaged
ones were typically boring sexual partners or just really terrible in bed. |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | plain chicks are hot |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "You sound quite experienced with this, balc."
i have too many male friends who like to confide their sex life issues in me. can't be helped
i also tend to lean toward the submissive side of the spectrum tbh. tmi probably
"ALSO as a totally fucked up person crying can be super hot js"
nothing wrong with that, just don't leave nice, level-headed girls out of the fun" |
Cells
11.17.11 | damn iluv im guessing ur into bdsm? |
Scoot
11.17.11 | "damaged chicks are generally more into embarrassing rough sex tbh"
like you'd know :$ |
balcaen
11.17.11 | he's probably just into rough secks.
it's really funny when people automatically infer BDSM when someone says there's into something other than missionary |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Lol, okay. Just sounded like firsthand experience.
I've noticed women who are more dominant in their public lives tend to be more submissive in bed, kind of like a release.
I can't really tell otherwise if women are into submissive stuff because they actually fetishize it or if it's just because that's what they're conditioned to think is sexy (i.e. through porn, mainly). |
Yazz_Flute
11.17.11 | "a girl who digs kill em all but knows mustaine wrote half of it"
but mostly this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiqmZLOaD8o |
Scoot
11.17.11 | i would have said goes to WoW party and dresses like a dark elf
but yours is good too |
Scoot
11.17.11 | this girl i know who was into cutting during sex
girl i know who was into cutting during sex
i know who was into cutting during sex
|
balcaen
11.17.11 | "I've noticed women who are more dominant in their public lives tend to be more submissive in bed, kind of like a release.
I can't really tell otherwise if women are into submissive stuff because they actually fetishize it or if it's just because that's what they're conditioned to think is sexy (i.e. through porn, mainly)."
that's pretty spot on. almost every girl i know who identifies at a feminist to any degree is submissive in bed.
i don't honestly think porn fetishizes it that much. even most gangbang shoots are pretty gentle with the women involved. |
theacademy
11.17.11 | 1. nice
2. pretty
3. smart
4. kind
5. sweet
6. generous
7. affectionate
8. nice
9. happy
10. confident |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | cutting what?
|
balcaen
11.17.11 | CUTTING |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | You can only get circumcised once right? |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | cutting sex |
Scoot
11.17.11 | ballsack |
Yazz_Flute
11.17.11 | ew |
someguest
11.17.11 | a girl I can shave with
our faces |
klap
11.17.11 | hanson has been commenting way too much on this thread |
balcaen
11.17.11 | hanson has been existing for far too long |
someguest
11.17.11 | it's ok klap virgins can have opinions too
meaningless ones |
klap
11.17.11 | something i think we can all agree on |
Activista anti-MTV
11.17.11 | 1. nice
2. pretty
3. smart
4. kind
5. sweet
6. generous
7. affectionate
8. nice
9. happy
10. confident |
Vesper
11.17.11 | "that's pretty spot on. almost every girl i know who identifies at a feminist to any degree is submissive in bed.
i don't honestly think porn fetishizes it that much. even most gangbang shoots are pretty gentle with the women involved."
Yeah, I'm no exception, haha. Being on top is awesome, though.
Well, those shoots don't necessarily get violent or incorporate BDSM, but I still consider things like schoolgirl/teen scenarios and making a woman a cum receptacle as three men go at all three orifices to be forms of submitting the woman to the sexual pleasure of the others. |
FromDaHood
11.17.11 | Anyone that can make me laugh and isn't oppressively large/unappealing. Good oral hygiene is a must. |
klap
11.17.11 | bukkake? |
FromDaHood
11.17.11 | hot |
Activista anti-MTV
11.17.11 | 1. nice
8. nice |
someguest
11.17.11 | since when do asians have sex |
someguest
11.17.11 | where's the time for math and science |
klap
11.17.11 | klapkkake is my variation on a german chocolate kake only available during the winter months |
wabbit
11.17.11 | Klap if he was a she. |
Vesper
11.17.11 | someguest hasn't watched enough porn.
(Although most Asian porn is pretty awful.) |
someguest
11.17.11 | losers watch porn
winners have active imaginations and instaneously hard dicks |
theacademy
11.17.11 | 11. very nice |
klap
11.17.11 | someguest is spitting straight fire tonight |
Masochist
11.17.11 | Right, so I thought about it some more, and I think I've actually fleshed out my list here. So for real this time, this is what I look for in a potential girlfriend:
ESSENTIALS
- She has to put up with me
(This is still #1. This is the main thing I worry about when scoping out females, to tell the truth--that they won't be willing to put up with my various quirks. Also, I tend to think that I'm weird for being a guy that the girl would have to wait for. It's a personal problem, I suppose....)
- Nice face/pretty smile
(Of all the physical attributes of women, this is the only one that's essential in my book. You can be fat, short, have four fingers on a hand, no chest, pencil legs and a hunchback, but if you've got a pretty face and a nice smile, with some straight white teeth and maybe a good hairstyle, nothing else would matter to me physically)
- Share some interests
(Natch. I've got a lot of interests, though)
- Be able to hold a conversation beyond what happened today (and that don't start with OMG)
(I'm a terrible conversationalist myself. So if you are also a terrible conversationalist, or if you never move beyond gossip or anything, we will have a very short and quiet relationship)
- Be able to see from viewpoints beyond her own
(This could also be reworded as "Not feeling entitled")
- Enjoys a wide variety of music/at least willing to explore new music
(Music is a huge part of who I am. It doesn't have to necessarily be a huge part of who she is, but at least be interested in it beyond the radio)
- Doesn't need alcohol to have a good time
(Alcohol is NOT necessary for a good time, to me; I don't need to go to the bar to have a fun night. Hopefully she won't either)
- Has a sense of humor
(I tell bad jokes, but I do like to make people laugh, and I feel closer to anyone who I can make laugh, oddly enough)
|
Masochist
11.17.11 | BONUSES
- Nice behind/shapely legs
(More important than breasts for me. Breasts are a bonus too, of course, but shapely ones, not just big)
- Takes care of herself
(Dig athletic girls)
- Likes the outdoors
(Cause I like to travel to national parks and stuff)
- Likes to read/play chess
(Beyond romance novels, hopefully. I don't read deep stuff myself, but a well-read woman can be really hot. As for chess...it'd just be nice to be able to play with a partner, because most people I know either don't know how to play or don't play for recreation that much)
- Likes to travel
(Because I love to travel, and plan on doing it a lot)
- Is a bit of a nerd and not afraid of it
(Because I'm a bit of a nerd, and I'm kind of afraid of it)
- Wears glasses
(It's just sexy to me)
Obviously the Bonuses are just pluses that would be nice to have. Is this too unrealistic? Too specific? Too much? I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter; that's what I look for, and hopefully I'll be able to find a girl who matches a lot of these. |
theacademy
11.17.11 | 12. wears glasses |
Masochist
11.17.11 | Wow...that was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Probably shouldn't have put as much thought into that as I did--most people won't read it.
TL;DR:
I WANNA BITCH THAT LOOK GOOD AND COOK GOOD
CINDERELLA FANTASY, BUT SHE STILL LOOK HOOD
BUTT NAKED IN THE KITCHEN FLIPPIN PANCAKES
PLUS SHE TRICKIN' FROM THE DOUGH THAT HER MAN MAKES
WE GOT OUR OWN HANDSHAKE; HER TITTIES AIN'T FAKE
FUCKIN' IN THE CAR CAUSE WE JUST CAN'T WAIT
TO GET HOME
EARLY IN THE MORN, GETTIN' STONED
PRETTY WITH HER EYES LOW; RUNNIN' BY BIBLE |
someguest
11.17.11 | "someguests last post rules idk if everyone knew that already"
see my latest list |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | tl;dr |
Vesper
11.17.11 | But I have no dick to get instantaneously hard, someguest. What am I to do. |
someguest
11.17.11 | extend your clit to dickus proportions like all asian females |
Vesper
11.17.11 | ... D: |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | I wish my nipples worked. |
someguest
11.17.11 | looooooooool |
Deviant.
11.17.11 | "ESSENTIALS
- She has to put up with me
(This is still #1. This is the main thing I worry about when scoping out females, to tell the truth--that they won't be willing to put up with my various quirks. Also, I tend to think that I'm weird for being a guy that the girl would have to wait for. It's a personal problem, I suppose....)
- Nice face/pretty smile
(Of all the physical attributes of women, this is the only one that's essential in my book. You can be fat, short, have four fingers on a hand, no chest, pencil legs and a hunchback, but if you've got a pretty face and a nice smile, with some straight white teeth and maybe a good hairstyle, nothing else would matter to me physically)
- Share some interests
(Natch. I've got a lot of interests, though)
- Be able to hold a conversation beyond what happened today (and that don't start with OMG)
(I'm a terrible conversationalist myself. So if you are also a terrible conversationalist, or if you never move beyond gossip or anything, we will have a very short and quiet relationship)
- Be able to see from viewpoints beyond her own
(This could also be reworded as "Not feeling entitled")
- Enjoys a wide variety of music/at least willing to explore new music
(Music is a huge part of who I am. It doesn't have to necessarily be a huge part of who she is, but at least be interested in it beyond the radio)
- Doesn't need alcohol to have a good time
(Alcohol is NOT necessary for a good time, to me; I don't need to go to the bar to have a fun night. Hopefully she won't either)
- Has a sense of humor
(I tell bad jokes, but I do like to make people laugh, and I feel closer to anyone who I can make laugh, oddly enough)
- Nice behind/shapely legs
(More important than breasts for me. Breasts are a bonus too, of course, but shapely ones, not just big)
- Takes care of herself
(Dig athletic girls)
- Likes the outdoors
(Cause I like to travel to national parks and stuff)
- Likes to read/play chess
(Beyond romance novels, hopefully. I don't read deep stuff myself, but a well-read woman can be really hot. As for chess...it'd just be nice to be able to play with a partner, because most people I know either don't know how to play or don't play for recreation that much)
- Likes to travel
(Because I love to travel, and plan on doing it a lot)
- Is a bit of a nerd and not afraid of it
(Because I'm a bit of a nerd, and I'm kind of afraid of it)
- Wears glasses
(It's just sexy to me)"
Not too picky I see Maso..... |
someguest
11.17.11 | i think all that most of us require is a naked breakfast once in awhile
i mean really |
Cells
11.17.11 | Maso I wear glasses....................
:) |
Yazz_Flute
11.17.11 | My girlfriend fulfills everything you wrote maso. Minus the hunchback/deformities etc. |
Masochist
11.17.11 | Hey, hey, Dev, there are only eight essentials...pretty much just put up with me, have a cute face, don't be a bitch, don't be a DUMB bitch, and have a sense of humor.
(Now why couldn't I have said that to begin with?) |
Scoot
11.17.11 | i count five |
Masochist
11.17.11 | Here's the list without explanations:
ESSENTIALS
- She has to put up with me
- Nice face/pretty smile
- Share some interests
- Be able to hold a conversation beyond what happened today (and that don't start with OMG)
- Be able to see from viewpoints beyond her own
- Enjoys a wide variety of music/at least willing to explore new music
- Doesn't need alcohol to have a good time
- Has a sense of humor
BONUSES
- Nice behind/shapely legs
- Takes care of herself
- Likes the outdoors
- Likes to read/play chess
- Likes to travel
- Is a bit of a nerd and not afraid of it
- Wears glasses |
Cells
11.17.11 | No im not Iluv im just fucking around. |
Cells
11.17.11 | Thanks Maso im taking notes right now. |
Masochist
11.17.11 | Scoot - I condensed it from the original eight. I'M GEORGE MUTHAFUCKIN' CARLIN. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "(Although most Asian porn is pretty awful.)"
i don't understand who anyone can watch it without their computer on mute. are all asian girls that annoying? are they all really bashful for no reason? |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | I think they are just all told to act like it hurts. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | Vaginas are beautiful YOU TAKE THAT BACK |
someguest
11.17.11 | those are revered for their smallness |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | A horse drunk a bottle and fucked a cow
Yeah vaginas are beautiful, well the pretty ones anyway
|
Scoot
11.17.11 | i think a big one is "knows how to handle alcohol without becoming a raging bitch/forcing others to take care of her" |
balcaen
11.17.11 | i was going to ask vesper how she explains to her partners why her vagina is blurred out, she's probably offline though. |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | lol |
someguest
11.17.11 | who needs women when you have an official nfl football, a pair of gloves, and a goofy smile |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | lol again |
ShadowRemains
11.17.11 | "i was going to ask vesper how she explains to her partners why her vagina is blurred out, she's probably offline though."
do i smell a cat fight? |
someguest
11.17.11 | no balc just farted |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | oh shit |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | someguest shut up youre the ugly girl no one wants to date |
someguest
11.17.11 | don't forget fat and zitty |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | Maurine's got five sisters
They all got ass
One of them's got eyes the size of jolly ranchers
Beautiful girl |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "do i smell a cat fight?"
nah dude i hold vesper in high regard mostly because she outwits me by a mile on this site where i frequently say retarded things. |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | vesper 4 president 2012 |
ShadowRemains
11.17.11 | more like pillow fight then |
someguest
11.17.11 | enough sunny day real estate lyrics |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | YOU'LL TASTE IT
YOU'LL TASTE IT |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved. |
someguest
11.17.11 | what's the difference |
Banion
11.17.11 | "i've never seen someone so objectively attractive that has done absolutely nothing for my tastes. something weirds me out about ban's face"
Lol ouch balc, ouch. |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | Whatever it is you think you are
you're not
a good friend, unique, well-read
good-looking, or smart
Well now you know |
Vesper
11.17.11 | "i don't understand who anyone can watch it without their computer on mute. are all asian girls that annoying? are they all really bashful for no reason?"
It has a lot to do with Asian women (namely Japanese women and also Korean women, to an extent) being encouraged to be cute/submissive, so that translates to hyper-squeakiness on camera to heighten the impression that you are fucking a young girl, apparently.
"i was going to ask vesper how she explains to her partners why her vagina is blurred out, she's probably offline though."
I only give that explanation on a need-to-know basis. ;] |
someguest
11.17.11 | now you know
bitch you're a ho
i'll tear off the floor
bury you beneath the boards |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | THE PERFECT GIRL IS A GREAT WHITE BUFFALO. CONVERSATION OVER. |
Vesper
11.17.11 | "nah dude i hold vesper in high regard mostly because she outwits me by a mile on this site where i frequently say retarded things."
Awww, ilu2, balc. |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | someguest stop posting lyrics to your dcore band in this wonderfully enlightening thread you cunt
officer |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Fuck you, get the fuck out.
My face will be the last thing you see.
You better mark my words i come with no regards for anyone.
This time you bow to me my lord.
I come with no regards for anyone. |
Banion
11.17.11 | "you said th same thign last night ban"
Hah yeah I don't think I'm attractive, still doesn't mean I enjoy hearing someone thinks the symmetry or my face is fucked :/
|
someguest
11.17.11 | because you two have so much in common right |
Masochist
11.17.11 | "Girls who are actually good looking ALWAYS know they are"
"Hah yeah I don't think I'm attractive"
WHO TO BELIEVE... |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "Hah yeah I don't think I'm attractive, still doesn't mean I enjoy hearing someone thinks the symmetry or my face is fucked :/ "
aw, damn. i didn't think you'd read this, honestly. it's nothing personal and most people on this site think you're a babe. like i said, you're attractive, your appearance just messes with me i guess. |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | Yeah my girlfriend
Takes collect calls from the road
And it doesn't seem to matter that I'm lacking in the bulge
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does
She makes me magic and food from sombrero
Just because
Yeah just because |
ShadowRemains
11.17.11 | she jelly |
Scoot
11.17.11 | "Maurine's got five sisters
They all got ass
One of them's got eyes the size of jolly ranchers
Beautiful girl"
best part about that song is defs the "hmm" |
Banion
11.17.11 | Awesome. |
someguest
11.17.11 | idk if you guys watch this but http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmlkJ5qAbJg
2:08 this chick rules |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Do you really think you're not attractive, Ban? -_-"
Okay, well, you don't have to think you're super-hot, but you're clearly above average. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Really dislike that haircut somehuest. Yeah im petty. |
Banion
11.17.11 | Vesper, balcs met me in person and she says my appearance messes with her, what do you think? |
someguest
11.17.11 | i don't really give a fuck she's 14, her voice is godly tho |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | She's no Sasha Grey ill tell you that man. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | 14? She looks 27. Goddamnit why do girls grow physically mature faster than men? |
theacademy
11.17.11 | omg this thread is soooooooooooooooooooooooo high school!!! |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | banion is p hot just sayin
this is who i will marry though: http://tinyurl.com/84upjoz |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | I've seen better trophy wives. She's got great assets though. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "balcaen why dont you stop being a girl and start KEEPING IT REAL"
oh bitch it's on now I AM RILL |
Vesper
11.17.11 | After a person has a certain level of culturally-accepted aesthetically pleasing features, it's all a matter of preference, Ban.
For example, I have a raging girlboner for Dita von Teese, but she does nothing for my boyfriend. Alas, my dreams of a threesome - shattered. :'( |
Trebor.
11.17.11 | hot |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | "I've seen better trophy wives."
nope she is the queen of everything |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Ultimately King Hyperion, my goal is to kill a bunch of boyfriends and take their women for my own....I need a new staff. Last batch is on it's way out. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | if i had a dick i wouldn't stick it in something marilyn manson has idk |
someguest
11.17.11 | if? |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Yeah, that probably has something to do with why my bf doesn't like her, haha.
As for me, there would be no dicks involved, so... |
tkxxx7
11.17.11 | dude there's literally like 2 things in the entire world that you never make a list about on sputnik... at least you didn't pick the other |
Wolfhorde
11.17.11 | "if i had a dick i wouldn't stick it in something marilyn manson has idk"
^ That's reasonable. |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | you shall be known as Wylie the Impaler, bane of the tanned bro's of South Florida.
i have contacts in morocco we can get you a harem built pretty easy |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | I have no tan or pigment whatsoever. Shocking really. Actually no I generally try to avoid the sunlight so yeah. But yes a brothel is all i need in my life. |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | no i meant you are the bane of the tanned bros, like the balrog was durins bane
plundering the beach and shitty nightclubs |
Vesper
11.17.11 | "like the balrog was durins bane"
I feel like I should laugh that you used a LotR analogy, but all I really feel is a complete and utter lack of surprise. |
Satellite
11.17.11 | t & a |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | They can all burn by themselves im ready to set camp in a European forest renowned for it's bloody death filled historic past. |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | I NEEDED A REFERENCE POINT |
theacademy
11.17.11 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErHYpWdkzUU |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Poland. Where the Calvary charges fell to the might of the German war machine. or Germany. Anywhere but France really ill do some research. Fuck it, ill settle in multiple spots and spin Agalloch records while strewing a bear fur jacket and Seal slippers. |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | the ukraine sounds sweet look into there |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | I'll bring my crimson tunic and midnight black velour cape. Cant forget my Moonspell records either. |
Wolfhorde
11.17.11 | If you go into Eastern Europe I wouldn't go any further than Transylvania, it only gets worse. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Nah I prefer somewhere already developed and "clean". |
Wolfhorde
11.17.11 | Define "developed and clean". |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | i was in transylvania this summer for real
it wasnt dirty, just dismal and depressing and everybody frowned and made me sad |
tkxxx7
11.17.11 | Wylie's penis |
TomArnoldsArmpit
11.17.11 | balrog matches up well with m. bison. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | somewhere im not going to end up being a meth addicted sex slave. Involuntarily. |
tkxxx7
11.17.11 | Felicia has some crazy combos but she sucks in the air
played online and set up Dark Pheonix but her no appear :( |
TomArnoldsArmpit
11.17.11 | what |
Hyperion1001
11.17.11 | lol i think he forgot which thread he was in |
tkxxx7
11.17.11 | dude every single time I play with Pheonix Wright something funny happens
like every time |
Wolfhorde
11.17.11 | Nah, that would probably not happen. But border patrols there rarely seem to have their saftey on and they seem to like to drink vodka like it'd be water. Crazies searched our car half an hour for "bad stuff we might want to smuggle into their country". |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Im over my head when it comes to moving right away. First off Im gonna have to mark my territory somewhere on the east coast of the states that I like. Get situated, find some willing participants and go from there. |
theacademy
11.17.11 | just recorded:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQKdEdzHnfU |
TomArnoldsArmpit
11.17.11 | If they will do it FOR you, they will do it TO you |
tkxxx7
11.17.11 | were you raised among catalogs, acad? |
biggestmudvaynefan
11.17.11 | if she doesnt listen to Mudvayne then she is obviously a cunt. |
ShadowRemains
11.17.11 | obviously |
theacademy
11.17.11 | i am so lucky to have been raised among catalogs! |
TomArnoldsArmpit
11.17.11 | That's super funny, considering you're wrong fuck you. |
taxidermist
11.17.11 | So rough. |
taxidermist
11.17.11 | Oh yeah, I WANT A GANGSTER BITCH. |
jdennis31
11.17.11 | man i'm so high i couldn't read through this. right when i saw the descriptions and the album covers i couldn't stop laughing. through the 300 or so comments did anyone find out if this guy was being serious? |
TomArnoldsArmpit
11.17.11 | OMG WEED FUCK MY BALLS FEEL TINGLY PLEASE LET ME LISTEN TO BMTI |
jdennis31
11.17.11 | whats bmti? |
Maniac!
11.17.11 | this thread is awesome |
ffs
11.17.11 | Now That`s What`s I`m Talken about . |
omnipanzer
11.17.11 | No man/woman could live up to the ideal I've unfortunately setup in my head. Good thing I love my wife. ;^) |
StrangerofSorts
11.17.11 | Cells, if you couldn't tell that what I said was a joke then that isn't my fault - neither is the fact that you proclaim yourself as an anarchist yet conform to hollywood beliefs of "meeting the perfect woman" and so forth. So chill out, poser. -.-
#lolinternetanger
|
Vesper
11.17.11 | +1 to Riff
And a big ole "Awww" to omni, haha. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | I "awww"d too, not going to lie. |
Aids
11.17.11 | this is one of the stupidest lists I've ever seen (which is saying something, good job?)
5/5 thread though |
BigHans
11.17.11 | one thats not a nagging controlling bitch. Not easy to come by. |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "this is one of the stupidest lists I've ever seen (which is saying something, good job?)
5/5 thread though"
thread rules
i have a feeling Cells has never had a girlfriend though
or thought about the implications of this list, lol |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | I need to go return some tapes. |
BigHans
11.17.11 | Hey Paul! |
taxidermist
11.17.11 | "i have a feeling Cells has never had a girlfriend though"
Harsh. |
BigHans
11.17.11 | women are the rake |
Masochist
11.17.11 | WHAT DO WE WANT?
A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING FOR |
BigHans
11.17.11 | Christie, remove your dress |
Aids
11.17.11 | "i have a feeling Cells has never had a girlfriend though"
Harsh.
not really harsh at all, have you read some of the shit in this list? (mainly balc's comment about banion. lol sorry balc I like you and all but that was stupid as fuck haha)
plus, it's probably true (@taxi) |
Scoot
11.17.11 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiqmZLOaD8o |
omnipanzer
11.17.11 | Why Riff, You charmer. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | Duct tape. I need it for... taping something. |
BigHans
11.17.11 | he keeps calling me Marcus |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | Huey's too black sounding for me. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Nice legs, when do they open? |
Vesper
11.17.11 | "when I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. one part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right"
I don't count this one as an American Psycho quote, since this is a quote from Ed Kemper (misattributed to Ed Gein). |
coneren
11.17.11 | vesper hey baby |
Vesper
11.17.11 | Hey, cone, babe.
Yes, that's more like it, Riff. |
BigHans
11.17.11 | RiffOClock read my White Lion Pride review its a tribute to those monologues |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | Never one to shy away from controversy, Reed also shines with his many thought provoking metaphors such as when he equates the force of a flesh-penetrating blade to that of a colored man's dick. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | I like his dissection of Whitney Houston's music. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | My need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale cannot be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs |
BigHans
11.17.11 | I simply am not there |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbl3hFDW758 |
Scoot
11.17.11 | hey there, i'm trying to become a stud. i already have the std, all i need is u |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | lol |
coneren
11.17.11 | hope youre having a nice day vesper |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | have a cigar |
Cells
11.17.11 | "i have a feeling Cells has never had a girlfriend though"
That's funny considering girls are usually hitting on me. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | I'm sorry that you are getting beat up by girls all the time :(
There are some really strong ones out there! |
Aids
11.17.11 | nice recovery man (@Cells) |
Cells
11.17.11 | hahaha |
Scoot
11.17.11 | i bet cells is one sexy mofo |
balcaen
11.17.11 | "That's funny considering girls are usually hitting on me."
silly Cells! girls don't hit on guys, that's called being nice! |
Cells
11.17.11 | Yeah I guess you're right. It's especially nice when they drop on their knees and suck my dick. |
Aids
11.17.11 | holy shit Cells you might be the coolest person I've never met |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | lol |
Aids
11.17.11 | haha you edited "suck on my nuts" to the more acceptable "suck my dick"
I was gonna say man, who the fuck wants to get their nuts sucked? Played with, tickled, even licked, sure. But straight up sucked on? Gross. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | QUADRICA......BURN!!!!!!!!!! |
taxidermist
11.17.11 | LOL |
BloodSweatandBeers
11.17.11 | cookin' sewin' and suckin' dick n' thats it |
Aids
11.17.11 | suckin' nuts*
|
Scoot
11.17.11 | i haven't even met him in person and he's already the coolest person i've ever met |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | "Yeah I guess you're right. It's especially nice when they drop on their knees and suck my dick."
Soliciting sex from a minor is a criminal offence, but you already know that. What on earth possessed you to come over here? What were your intentions? |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | It was consensual! |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | There's nothing consensual about what I have written down here. |
BallsToTheWall
11.17.11 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_C-7YHHd0wM |
StrangerofSorts
11.17.11 | "silly Cells! girls don't hit on guys, that's called being nice!"
^ This. I can safely say that so far in my life I've been hit on by way more gays than girls. Which is statistically skewed unless for some reason I'm more attractive to other men.
And ChrisHansen, are you Batman? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qLlCOwbpno |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | Don't try to change the subject, you know what you did was wrong. |
taxidermist
11.17.11 | Lol @ that Batman clip. |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | So you think this is a joke? |
taxidermist
11.17.11 | YOUR TV SHOW IS A JOKE :3 |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | The only joke is your claim of being "just friends" with an under-age girl. |
taxidermist
11.17.11 | We were VERY close friends...we wore each others clothes. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | I admit to nothing. I want my lawyer. |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | There are no lawyers in the world of under-age sex crimes. Only lies. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSZaC_W7eyE |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | You seem surprised to see me here. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | We're just friends! |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | Friends don't post explicit pictures of their genitals on the Internet. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | And how was I supposed to know that? |
Shuyin
11.17.11 | whoa, ChrisHansen=the whole internet censorship bill |
ChrisHansen
11.17.11 | It's common sense. You wouldn't have come here today if you had any at all, son. |
ncguitar
11.17.11 | Facebook told me that the perfect girl is the one that makes you happy. |
foreverendeared
11.17.11 | Damnit, I've been Hansen'd!
*drops paper bag of mike's hard lemonade and runs* |
someguest
11.18.11 | Christ Hansen while you were out banging some saggy brown pussy hooker bitch I was fucking your wife.
Anally. |
Cells
11.18.11 | lol |
beefshoes
11.18.11 | I found the perfect girl.
I just have to make it happen. |
foreverendeared
11.18.11 | Tell her you like the taste of period blood. Chicks dig that. |
jdennis31
11.18.11 | lol, most entertaining thread ever |
jdennis31
11.18.11 | cept for the guy bashing me while i was high, i always thought sputnik was pretty liberal... |
NWOAHM666
11.18.11 | It's rather ironic the relation in 9 between the chosen record and the statement. |
Zorak
11.18.11 | big tits and dtf. all I need |
omnipanzer
11.18.11 | There is no doubt in my mind that every female Sputnik user is perfect in her own special way. |
Shuyin
11.18.11 | 'It's common sense. You wouldn't have come here today if you had any at all, son.'
if common sense was common, everyone would have it |
