Scoot
06.11.13 | post your own m/ |
climactic
06.11.13 | oh god 8 |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | 10 is even worse when that scene is playing while you're watching Last House on the Left with your little sister. I have about at least one story for most of these. |
Spec
06.11.13 | When you say goodbye to someone and end up walking in the same direction.
6.5/10 |
Scoot
06.11.13 | oh yeah good one |
Spec
06.11.13 | Walking into a lecture late isn't that bad really. |
scissorlocked
06.11.13 | this is really great! deserves feature
6 is the typical sputniker reaction |
Scoot
06.11.13 | to avoid 8 i have literally left houses and walked to the nearest public bathroom because 1 is 100x more preferable |
climactic
06.11.13 | accidentally saying "faggot" or "gay" around someone who is actually gay 8/10 |
Scoot
06.11.13 | @spec depends on the teacher/your appearance. if the teacher is understanding and you're stone faced then no big deal but if they're a dick and you're a mess it's awful |
bakkermaarten007
06.11.13 | Great list! For 7 though, it is way more embarassing if it stank like hell even before you got in and then there's another person waiting outside...lol |
jtswope
06.11.13 | 4 = my life |
Spec
06.11.13 | Someone tells you something that you already know because you stalked their Facebook and you have to pretend you're hearing it for the first time.
5/10 |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | How do you possibly wear headphones during one? I'm always zoned in trying to control the volume of my dump. |
Spec
06.11.13 | Fair enough. You're right, if you were running there and you're stoned and sweaty it's super awkward. |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | for 8, I just go away and pretend it wasn't me. |
rockandmetaljunkie
06.11.13 | 5= happens to me all the time
8= fucking nightmare |
bakkermaarten007
06.11.13 | 11. When you let another person use your computer but you didn't swipe your history. And then Google suggest one of your very odd search actions... |
Scoot
06.11.13 | one ear in my friend |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | Checkout line is slower than frozen fuck and my ex is in the line directly across from me with another dude. she sees me and then begins to practically beg this dude to fuck her right in front of me.
8 is lol |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | 4 = my life [2] |
Scoot
06.11.13 | @bakker nobody uses my computer for the most part, it's my phone that i'm worried about there |
Spec
06.11.13 | Saying something to someone and literally everybody hears you except for the person you meant for.
7.5/10 |
rockandmetaljunkie
06.11.13 | 4 = my life [3] |
scissorlocked
06.11.13 | farting and pretending you weren't the one, even though you know that everyone knows
7.5/10 |
Vakarian12
06.11.13 | >see pretty girl walking your way in hallway
>make eye contact, smile
>she smiles back
>take a drink from water bottle
>choke on water and spit it everywhere
10/10 |
KSK1
06.11.13 | One time when I was like 15 I was home alone and I took a shower. At some point during my shower (which I sang entirely through) my sister and her friend came home unexpectedly from school and I was home "sick" and decided just to walk across the hall to my room completely naked just because I could cause you know it feels good knowing you can just walk around naked in your own home for once yeah and they were both sitting on the couch as I stroll across the hallway with my dick and balls just flowing freely in the open air. Glad my sisters not friends with that girl anymore I'd rather not be reminded of that. Awkwardness level 11/10 |
Spec
06.11.13 | Having to read a lease agreement in front of someone who's waiting for you to sign it.
Not sure what to rate this one but it can really fuck you over. |
rockandmetaljunkie
06.11.13 | @scissorlocked
In that case, the rating depends on how strong your fart really is :-P |
Scoot
06.11.13 | yeah another bad one is singing in the shower thinking you're home alone then getting out and realizing that your parents have invited the whole fucking neighborhood into the living room since you're been in the shower especially if it's a song like more than a feeling |
Spec
06.11.13 | When you're out with a friend and their friend who you don't know comes up and starts talking to them, and you just stand there.
8/10 |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | hahaha #8 is amazing. never seen it happen before but jesus it would be funny.
another awkward moment, is when you get some furniture from council clean up, and the owners of the house ur getting it from come out... and its your teacher from years ago. its like heyyyyy, im just grabbing your stuff.. sorry. bail. |
ShadowRemains
06.11.13 | lol 8 |
Spec
06.11.13 | When you're walking down a sidewalk and there's someone in front of you walking really slow and you have to pass them. |
Mongi123
06.11.13 | When I was in high school, 4 was always a nightmare. Stuff like this is still a nightmare for me lol |
Scoot
06.11.13 | @spec story of my life don't know how i forgot
usually in that situation i instinctively grab my phone and bury my face in it until they either leave or i get introduced |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | @KSK1 thats like the most awesome story ever.. haha |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | Ever start coughing around a group of people you only really know a couple of, and a fart or two slips out? |
PistolPete
06.11.13 | 8-9 were perfect |
Spec
06.11.13 | I didn't hear you the first four times so ill just laugh. Hope it wasn't something serious. |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | Shaving your pubes, and letting your mate use the electric shaver moments later... left over pubes all over ur friends face. awkward at their expense. |
Calc
06.11.13 | yay i'm apparently never awkward!! |
Spec
06.11.13 | My friend was trying to Facebook stalk some girl and he searched her name but accidentally made it his status hahaha.
Fucking 10/10 |
KSK1
06.11.13 | "@KSK1 thats like the most awesome story ever.. haha"
Yeah, another time I was like 19 and I had some slut over in my basement and I was blacked out drunk and apparently at like 6am my mom walked downstairs and I was completely naked getting a blowjob. Woke up the next morning and I couldn't figure out why my mom was so mad at me and she stormed out of the house and my dad had to tell me the story. The only thing that prevented me from suicide was that I was still hammered. Not even gonna rate that shit. |
Spec
06.11.13 | This girl was faking a phone call when she was sitting on a bench across from me at the mall and her phone started ringing. I started laughing and her face went so red and she just walked away. |
PistolPete
06.11.13 | this is the best thread i've read in ages, great idea |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | thats cringeworthy spec.. haaaha |
Scoot
06.11.13 | moral of the story: get your own place |
Scoot
06.11.13 | threads like this have been done before (hell pretty sure i've made one or two) but they're always good for laughs |
Mongi123
06.11.13 | @KSK1 the way you told that story made me cry of laughter! lol |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "My friend was trying to Facebook stalk some girl and he searched her name but accidentally made it his status hahaha.
Fucking 10/10"
Was it someone he knew well? Cause if not, that's serious 10/10. |
Scoot
06.11.13 | oh yeah another one: when you're walking somewhere and realize you're going in the wrong direction so you pull out your phone and pretend someone texted you to meet them somewhere else |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | @KSK1 r u a nudist? lool thats fucked |
Spec
06.11.13 | At the house I was living in my ex wanted me to get her water and it was three in the morning so I just went downstairs completely naked and a girl from the party was up and I was just like "oh... hi." Grabbed the water and went back upstairs. |
Spec
06.11.13 | @Scoot YESSSSSS I do that more often than I should. |
rockandmetaljunkie
06.11.13 | Become intoxicated (really bad) and do all kinds of stupid things like swearing your friends while showing them (literally) your genitalia, do all the sorts of inappropriate things to girls you don't know and then the very next day asking for apologies... |
Spec
06.11.13 | @Guano
No he didn't know her like at all haha. Because of that I'm always extra careful searching people. Don't want it to happen to me. |
Scoot
06.11.13 | another: when you get caught flexing/checking yourself out. there is literally no way to come out of this without looking like a dbag |
Mongi123
06.11.13 | During my senior year, I decided to not go to the senior awards ceremony because of a bit of anxiety. The next day I found out that not only was I the first one called up, I got a very important award...good god I made that shit even worse by not going lol |
KSK1
06.11.13 | "oh yeah another one: when you're walking somewhere and realize you're going in the wrong direction so you pull out your phone and pretend someone texted you to meet them somewhere else"
Hahahaha, daily |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | spec, did everyone comment and like it? cuz if thats the case... top of news feed for like a day haha |
WeepingBanana
06.11.13 | i have a serious fear of 8 sometimes |
rockandmetaljunkie
06.11.13 | Another awkward moment is when a girl gets drunk and she hits on you, asking you to fuck her and all the rest. And the next day you end up fighting with her brothers, cousins etc. |
Spec
06.11.13 | It was up there for about twenty minutes. Someone let him know. I wish they didn't haha but she still got a notification for it. |
Calc
06.11.13 | "oh yeah another one: when you're walking somewhere and realize you're going in the wrong direction so you pull out your phone and pretend someone texted you to meet them somewhere else"
why? |
Spec
06.11.13 | @rockandmetal
was she brown? |
Pennywise_M
06.11.13 | haha, hilarious list and thread 10/10. LOL at the awkward moment on 8 and i can totally relate with most of those situations.
3 and 10 rule my socks off. |
Scoot
06.11.13 | my life is just full of em
i was at the movies last year and they'd redone the bathrooms (men's was always blue and women's pink) but for some reason they made women's a slightly darker shade of blue so me looking at my phone went into the wrong bathroom. went to the sink and thought...where the fuck are the urinals? look up and there's this like sixty year old hag staring at me like i'm an alien. quickly backed up in horror and booked it outside, slowing down only to match my pace to the people around me. and about two seconds later my friends showed up laughing their asses off |
PistolPete
06.11.13 | When you're at a gf's house and you're super gassy and holding in farts the whole time only to find that when you finally discreetly make it over to the washroom nothing comes out and it's just empty farts and then you have to go back and fight it all over again knowing little if no progress at all was made. |
Mongi123
06.11.13 | Yea this thread is basically my whole life... |
auberginedreams
06.11.13 | i clogged a toilet at ihop and and there was water all over the floor, and i was with my family including my grandparents. and my brother was in the bathroom with me plus i had just thrown up so the toilet water was mixed with shit and vomit. thankfully we were done eating so i just ran straight to the car and called them to meet me outside. |
rockandmetaljunkie
06.11.13 | @Spec
a redhead bitch... |
KSK1
06.11.13 | When you're holding in a fart in a situation where you can't just let it out and eventually you manage to sneak it out silently and you hope to god it doesn't smell and it ends up being the most rancid nostril hair burning scent ever released into the atmosphere |
Scoot
06.11.13 | i was in west edmonton mall's waterpark when i suddenly got food poisioning and felt like i was about to puke. i got out of the water and started speedwalking across the deck when it started coming out without warning. i basically had to force it back into my mouth and hold it there while it continued to come up because if it came out they would have had to shut the entire park down to clean and everyone would have freaked. spent the rest of the day in a dirty edmonton bathroom stall |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | having a one night stander with a girl ur not into. So you bail eaaaaarly as fuck. See her the next day early morning. She says heeeeey you! im just getting breakfast, wanna come? lets hang out all day!. and you reply... oh yeh im good thanks, cya. as you walk off, you realize she didnt ask how you were, but was desperate to hang out. 7/10 |
Spec
06.11.13 | Yeah took one shot too many at a club a while ago and was like "fuck" and while I was speed walking someone I knew was like "HEY STEVE!" and I just ignored them and hightailed it down the stairs to the bathroom. |
Spec
06.11.13 | @Sleaper Trying to sneak out at like five in the morning and they wake up haha. |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | When I used to stay at my ex's house(16 years old), I used to use having a shower as a good excuse to have the shit I'd been building for a couple days. One time, they hadn't put the new shampoo they had bought in the bathroom yet, so my ex walked in on me taking a dump naked to give me the shampoo. |
Spec
06.11.13 | lock the door |
Scoot
06.11.13 | also one time i was on a shuttle bus heading home while i was drunk and it was about 12:30 at night so it was the last bus. some random guy got on and sat behind me. i was next to this girl i didn't know and she started suddenly grabbing my shoulder and moving close to me. i was like...okay this is cool then someone yelled "some guy's puking back here!" and i realized that she was not into me but desperately trying to avoid the spray of puke that ended up all over the window. i was so fucking pissed since it was the last bus but i got up yelled fuck this and walked home for 40 minutes instead |
Mongi123
06.11.13 | When you think that there is no car parked behind you at a friends house. So you accelerate back a little to get more room to back up(I honestly looked back and didn't see shit). Sure enough, a car was back there and not only was it my best friends car, but a whole gang of people I didn't know was standing outside to see me clumsily back up into the car... |
scissorlocked
06.11.13 | parents catching you jerking off |
jtswope
06.11.13 | @GuanoBumbershoot haha that might be the most vulnerable position a man can be in... if the door's unlocked |
Mongi123
06.11.13 | Parents catching you jerking off [2] |
Pennywise_M
06.11.13 | Oh the "fart holding" struggle. haha
So i used to date this girl and it went on for 3 full years. I got really close to her family and began sleeping there and stuff. She lived only with her grandma by the time this happened. So yeah, one night we were getting ready to go to bed (me, my gf and coincidentally, her grandma too) and i go down the little corridor of her house, in the dark, only to see her grandma hastily getting out of the bathroom, switching on the light, and walk up to her bedroom across that corridor, with a blouse and underwear, no pants. We glanced each other for a split second and she made like a "wooh" sound. It was evident it had happened, for both of us. But we never spoke of it, ever. Imagine the next morning, all at the table eating cereal and shit. 7/10 maybe |
DegausserGuernica24
06.11.13 | When someone in class tells you something that makes you laugh so hard, you fart loud enough for everyone to hear. |
Scoot
06.11.13 | oh yeah and this gem
i was providing the music for a neighborhood party and most of my friends and the people who were there listen to edm and indie and not metal. so i had a specific playlist made that had nothing heavy whatsoever on it but forgot to lock my screen and some sloot started going through my ipod and put on concubine.
yeah as soon as i heard those hammer on harmonics i was out of my seat hurdling legs and disrupting conversations to get to the stereo before bannon started screaming his head off
the best part was that some random guy with a beard was like "man jane doe is a sweet album you should have left it on" a few minutes after i changed it |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | @Moreira, my buddy walked by my mom's room when she was bent over and ass naked getting dressed. Apparently my family is not skilled with shutting/locking doors. |
Pestiferous
06.11.13 | my 11 year old brother often walks in on me jerkin off and has no fucking clue what im doing |
tommygun
06.11.13 | great list/thread
most of mine have already been mentioned but yeah this deserves a feature |
Spec
06.11.13 | My friend had sex with his friends Mom for real. |
Pennywise_M
06.11.13 | "When someone in class tells you something that makes you laugh so hard, you fart loud enough for everyone to hear."
Dude i swear to god one day a dude on my class farted SO LOUD that the whole class stopped for the last 15 minutes of it. We just stood there laughing or asses off while the teacher remained calm and still, sitting in her chair with a blank/serene stare. |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | me and a classmate used to fart whenever we could during silent-reading just for the laughs. It's obviously awkward when you don't intend to though. |
Spec
06.11.13 | This dude bought a girl a drink at the bar I was at and she turned around and turned out to be a guy with long hair. Classic. |
Pennywise_M
06.11.13 | @Guano, that shampoo one dude. It's not only funny, it's something i can really picture happening to me, to any dude in that situation really. haha |
KSK1
06.11.13 | My friend worked at a coffee shop and went to fart while taking someones order (it's loud in there so no one wouldve heard it) and literally ended up shitting himself and had to finish taking her order and make her coffee before going to the bathroom to try and do something about it. He literally now has a bag in his trunk with an emergency pair of underwear and pants at all times. |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | Also, being asked to get up to give a presentation when you have a raging hard on for no reason. |
Pennywise_M
06.11.13 | ">see pretty girl walking your way in hallway
>make eye contact, smile
>she smiles back
>take a drink from water bottle
>choke on water and spit it everywhere
10/10"
Haha, only saw this one now. Wow that's gotta be the definition of awkward. |
Spec
06.11.13 | What about when you try to say hi to someone and all that comes out is a whisper? |
tommygun
06.11.13 | seeing somebody from behind and thinking it's a friend and patting them on the back/putting your arm around them/grabbing their ass and then they turn around and it's some stranger
having to take a dump at your gf's family's house and leaving toxic fumes behind then her mum needs the toilet right after and you just know they know |
tommygun
06.11.13 | "What about when you try to say hi to someone and all that comes out is a whisper?"
oh man i hate that, or when you've got a dry throat and your voice breaks when you talk to em |
tommygun
06.11.13 | condom breakage is a killer too |
Spec
06.11.13 | Calgary is dry as fuck so its common haha. Also better crack out the lip chap every twenty minutes! |
Pennywise_M
06.11.13 | Yeah this needs more awkward boner situations. haha
Yeah tommy mistaking a stranger for a friend is awkward as all hell but it's also redeemable! |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "seeing somebody from behind and thinking it's a friend and patting them on the back/putting your arm around them/grabbing their ass and then they turn around and it's some stranger"
Did this at a show once. Turned the little bitch around by her shoulders with a huge friendly grin on my face. It was wiped off pretty quickly. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | waiting at traffic lights blasting music and singing along really loud and drumming on the steering wheel and then you look at the next car over and there's three super hot girls in there just staring at you and laughing |
StallionMang
06.11.13 | If I'm in a loud place, like a party, and I have to yell, my voice always ends up cracking, so it sounds like a high-pitched girly shriek. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | when you're at a crowded bar and some drunken idiot bumps you into somebody else and they spill their drink and glare at you like it's your fault |
StallionMang
06.11.13 | When you have to poop in public, and there's no stall open, so you just kinda pace around the bathroom. |
Spec
06.11.13 | I posted "What is the parking situation like at the special olympics?" on facebook and it was funny then someone posted
"You should find a better appreciation for the struggles forced upon some people."
and its like shiiiiit |
tommygun
06.11.13 | when i was 16 or 17 me and my buddies were out front of his house mooning every car that drove by and then one of them was his mum coming home but she saw the funny side |
KSK1
06.11.13 | Buying a girl a drink who's there with a boyfriend who was in the bathroom or something. That happened to me once and she fucking took the drink only to have her boyfriend come back and try to fight me. |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | spending the night at a randoms party. wake up. your the only one there. you walk to the front door. the dad of the random (girl) thinks you banged her. so he forces you to eat breakfast with him so he can scare the shit out of you. You act cool so u can get out of these ASAP. the girl comes out of her room (with a guy) and the dad realises u just crashed on the couch. the dad then forces the dude to have breakfast with HIM. and he says to me, cya mate.
AWKIES. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | peeing next to somebody who has stage fright although that's more awkward for them than you |
StallionMang
06.11.13 | Spilling milk onto your lap at lunch, and then having to go to class next period with a stained crotch. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | "spending the night at a randoms party. wake up. your the only one there. you walk to the front door. the dad of the random (girl) thinks you banged her. so he forces you to eat breakfast with him so he can scare the shit out of you. You act cool so u can get out of these ASAP. the girl comes out of her room (with a guy) and the dad realises u just crashed on the couch. the dad then forces the dude to have breakfast with HIM. and he says to me, cya mate."
haha yes had this happen a couple of times |
tommygun
06.11.13 | talking to somebody for 10-15 minutes then going to the bathroom and realising that you've had food crumbs stuck in your teeth and/or beard the whole time |
YoYoMancuso
06.11.13 | One time I threw up in an elevator. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | nice yoyo! |
KSK1
06.11.13 | This is probably my last one and it was like 2 weeks ago. I crashed at a friends house cause I was too drunk to drive home after we went out and apparently I was a lot more drunk than I thought cause they all said I fell asleep on the couch downstairs but I woke up sitting in a computer chair in his little brothers room. Neither me or anyone in the house know how I got there. |
YoYoMancuso
06.11.13 | yeah there were like 8 people in it |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "peeing next to somebody who has stage fright although that's more awkward for them than you"
I get stage fright if the bathroom is packed. You have no idea how many times at sports games I've just pretended to piss, buttoned up, and spent a whole period/quarter pretending I don't have to piss like it's nobodies business and hoping it's not as bad next time. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | haha yeah i know that feeling, i don't ever get stage fright anymore but it plagued me as a teenager trying to pee next to grown men at football games etc |
Spec
06.11.13 | I'm usually like three beers deep so its impossible not to urinate haha. |
pmmets07
06.11.13 | for 8: i used to work at a fish market and within my first few weeks i took a shit in the bathroom (which was very close to the kitchen) and it wouldn't flush. i didn't want the boss to know that i took a shit at work (didn't really know if it was acceptable) and definitely didn't want to leave it in there, so i took one of the tupperwares for colesaw and other prepared foods and scooped that fucker out of there and then ran out the back door and threw it in the woods. really stupid looking back on it because i could have easily ran into my boss or another employee on my way to the back door whilst carrying a shit. |
Spec
06.11.13 | ew |
tommygun
06.11.13 | when you're fucking a girl doggy style and your brother walks into your bedroom without knocking |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | "seeing somebody from behind and thinking it's a friend and patting them on the back/putting your arm around them/grabbing their ass and then they turn around and it's some stranger"
I just did this a few days ago, I felt so bad. |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "when you're fucking a girl doggy style and your brother walks into your bedroom without knocking"
hahahahahahahahaha, fuck. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | it wasn't too bad he just said sorry and smirked and winked at me and left while she was scrambling for the covers hahaha |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | older or younger brother? |
tommygun
06.11.13 | when your phone rings on the bus and it's dead silent and everybody is listening to your conversation
i just don't answer it anymore |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | @tommygun, you've seen Inglorious Basterds right? |
tommygun
06.11.13 | older, i was 18 at the time he woulda been 23/24 |
tommygun
06.11.13 | yeah i've seen it why's that? |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | damn, he woulda be proud, man. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | haha yeah hence the smirk and wink |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7EfRAlRP1c
I burst a gut, cause I pictured your brother walking on you like that. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | hahahaha classic |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | hahaha... that fish market story is fucked. Why why whhhhhhy wouldnt u just wait till u got home. |
omgbecky
06.11.13 | Damn. These comments have me in stitches. Kinda had an 8. In elementary school I went to a friend's bday party. I had a cold and back then I had this thing about not blowing my nose in public. So when I couldn't hold it in anymore I made my way to the bathroom. When I got there, I discovered the toilet to be clogged. Not wanting that to be pinned on me, I tried to fix it by flushing, but that just made it worse. Gave up, joined the others, and shared an awkward look with the girl who used the bathroom before me.
Also, any instance when your friends see you naked. Stayed at my friends place and I was getting ready in her room when her kid bursts into the room, followed by my friend and I'm awkwardly trying to shield my body from view.
Plus any time you get caught self-adjusting. |
someguest
06.11.13 | petting the cat
with your dick |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | "Also, any instance when your friends see you naked"
but this is a regular thing for me... 0/10 awkwardness |
MMX
06.11.13 | 8 isn't awkward anymore I always clog my girlfriends parents toilet, so they bought me a plunger and put a bow on it haha |
Spec
06.11.13 | Also, any instance when your friends see you naked.
you can make them pretty funny |
tommygun
06.11.13 | haha yeah pretty over the friends seeing you naked nobody cares anymore but maybe it's different for girls?
also lol someguest |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | MMX. actual lols. lol lol lol. |
Spec
06.11.13 | MMX you gotta stop over wiping man tree's die for that. |
MMX
06.11.13 | dude i flush after i shit then wipe and flush
I just happen to make massive shits at my girlfriends house, I rarely even get to the paper |
someguest
06.11.13 | Yeah, isn't it a bitch when all your shit is solid but you go to wipe and it's like you're the sludge factory.
What the hell is going on here body? |
tommygun
06.11.13 | a handy trick is to flush halfway through and then again at the end so you're not overloading the poor
toilet with too much shite at any given time |
MMX
06.11.13 | Also I hate when I'm on my xbox at 2 in the morning cus I can't sleep and beat one of my friends (it could be something so insignificant) and yell
YOU STUPID CUNT HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL NOW SUCK MY FUCKING DICK YOU GOT SHIT ON YA TWAT BITCH ASS
and I either wake up my girlfriends neighbors in her apartment building or my parents
solid 7/10 |
Spec
06.11.13 | Yeah, isn't it a bitch when all your shit is solid but you go to wipe and it's like you're the sludge factory.
fuck man like my break is only fifteen minutes i dont want to waste it in here |
MMX
06.11.13 | I'm taking turtle sized shits |
peaks40
06.11.13 | damn @tommygun i wish i had those awesome experiences man. yesterday i was in the emergency room feeling like i was gonna die and i had this sudden realization that i haven't lived all the experiences i wanted to, and i promised myself if i get healthy i won't be so conservative anymore |
someguest
06.11.13 | I think you're confusing conservatism with being a pussy. |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | One time I bashed one out in the shower and it clogged the drain. Had to spend 15 minutes manually taking it out with tissue paper before my brother came to use it. |
omgbecky
06.11.13 | "haha yeah pretty over the friends seeing you naked nobody cares anymore but maybe it's different for girls?"
I was caught off guard. Lmao, who knew there was so much flushing technique. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | damn dude emergency room is everything ok? |
someguest
06.11.13 | I'm naked all the time, unless there's fat chicks around. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | damn fish that must've been an impressive load |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "One time I bashed one out in the shower and it clogged the drain. Had to spend 15 minutes manually taking it out with tissue paper before my brother came to use it."
What, do you shoot like viscous gelatin chunks every time you yank? |
londoncalling457
06.11.13 | 11th grade chemistry...we were each put into groups of 2 for labs. for the whole year my partner was this guy named john who was an alright person but obsessed with starcraft so he was a little weird. one day we were doing a lab and the group next to us consisted of two really hot girls...one of them said to john, "hey can we borrow *flask or some shit idk*. john is like yeah sure, then for some reason once he gives it to them he mumbles "how about i punch you in the fucking tits". WELL, turns out he wasn't being too discrete and both girls heard him and just kind of looked at him for awhile as he stared awkwardly at the floor.
tl;dr i'm drunk this thread is hilarious |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | I think there was already hair stuck in it that's why it clung on. Anyway that's the last time I ever did that. |
Spec
06.11.13 | you guys disgust me |
MMX
06.11.13 | The worst is when I put my clothes in the dryer before I take a shower, walk out of the shower no towel or anything. Then for whatever reason my sisters stupid friends are over and I walk into them.
80% of my sisters friends and few of mine have bumped into my dick at one point
|
someguest
06.11.13 | I used to do that too, MMX. Then my sister grew up and it wasn't as much fun. |
Scoot
06.11.13 | who the fuck dumps a load in the shower |
tommygun
06.11.13 | when you're walking your dog and strike up a conversation with a pretty girl and then your dog starts humping her dog
that's p awkward |
MMX
06.11.13 | who the fuck dumps a load in the shower[2]
|
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | lmfao, tommy. |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | they want to make babies, it's only natural! |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | or when your dog just starts pissing on the shoe of a girl you want to become more than new friends with. |
Spec
06.11.13 | who the fuck dumps a load in the shower
|
someguest
06.11.13 | when a dumbass on the Internet ends a sentence with 'with'
really awkward |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | Idk was a one off |
MMX
06.11.13 | Dog takes after its owner |
Spec
06.11.13 | "or when your dog just starts pissing on the shoe of a girl you want to become more than new friends with."
dogs are intuitive its probably a sign
|
Spec
06.11.13 | "Dog takes after its owner"
Isn't pissing on girls andcas's thing?
|
MMX
06.11.13 | the worst is when you get caught pissing in your neighbors trash can |
MMX
06.11.13 | "Dog takes after its owner"
Isn't pissing on girls andcas's thing?
R. Kelly, Andcas can't really tell the difference |
tommygun
06.11.13 | swapping insurance info after a minor car accident |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | 8 and 9 made me lol |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | pizza delivery guy: "enjoy your meal"
me: "you too"
*awkward pause*
( ._.)
awkwardness 8/10 |
Uranium
06.11.13 | just pooped in a bathroom with two other people pooping on each side of me without music. wasn't a
thrilling experience. |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | The worst thing about 9 is when they don't visibly react to it and you're not sure whether to mention it and apologise or stay quiet and pretend it didn't happen. |
tommygun
06.11.13 | cancelling plans with somebody (saying you're sick or w/e) cos you got a better offer and then bumping into them while you're out |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "Dog takes after its owner"
it was probably just his idea of being my wing man. |
Puzzles
06.11.13 | "running into someone you don't care to see at a bar or club (or anywhere.) this is pretty self-explanatory. you're almost always looking like shit at the time. "
I don't know what you're talking about, I always look quite dashing |
Puzzles
06.11.13 | "eally no way to get around this short of cleaning it up yourself (but fuck that.)"
yeah there is, you say "hey dude, I didn't piss on the floor. It was someone else." immediate mutual understanding because we can all relate to this |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | this might have been mentioned already but taking an absolutely rancid shit in a place other than your own home. did this in middle school (had no choice, it was either that or shit my pants), easily the worst smelling shit i've ever taken in my life. it didn't even smell like your typical dump, it smelled like garbage that had been left in the sun for a week.
less than five minutes later classes got out and people were freaking out in the hallway. eventually people found out it was me... |
peaks40
06.11.13 | @tommy yeah I'm fine. I tend to over react on my health. @someguest I guess that's the vigorous way of putting it |
Spec
06.11.13 | thats why i always pee in the sink |
someguest
06.11.13 | I started living day to day awhile ago, because I could be dead the next. None of this actually matters in the end. It's just a little fun you get to have before you enter your eternal dirt nap of nothingness. |
peaks40
06.11.13 | ^ so much nihilism lol. Yeah I get it. Hope you're right of the eternal nap cause i don't want to come back to this hell. A better place hopefully |
someguest
06.11.13 | Don't confuse nihilism with realism. I love life, but it's short. And there's nothing after, no matter how many old men tell you there will be. |
peaks40
06.11.13 | I have an agnostic approach. At least you love life |
Iamthe Nightstars
06.11.13 | When 2 ever happens to me I just pretend I didn't see them and act surprised if they approach me. Lol |
pizzamachine
06.11.13 | When you're talking to a pretty girl and a crazy girl walks in and starts dry humping you. |
someguest
06.11.13 | You and everyone else, Nig.
YOU DICK! |
Iamthe Nightstars
06.11.13 | Ha, I know. |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | hahahaha that pizza one sucks. at mcdonalds drive thru, enjoy ur meal. you too... oh shit i fucked that up.. DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | the best is when u actually run away from awkward things... it just makes it 10000x more awkward for next time haha |
TheAshes
06.11.13 | testing positive for a venereal disease and your doctor shouting it to you across the waiting room |
Scoot
06.11.13 | can't say that's happened to me before man |
tommygun
06.11.13 | lol damn ashes pretty sure they not allowed to do that |
tommygun
06.11.13 | being introduced to five or six people at the same time and immediately forgetting all their names
thankfully this is easily overcome by calling everybody 'mate' |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "testing positive for a venereal disease and your doctor shouting it to you across the waiting room"
That happened? What a dild. I'm sure there's some way you could have got that dude/lady in a lot of shit. |
Scoot
06.11.13 | what is doctor patient confidentiality alex |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | so there you are with VD, and no settlement. |
Sowing
06.11.13 | Fucking hilarious list hahaha
I went to feature it but it already was |
Scoot
06.11.13 | @fourthreich we've all been there, it's particularly bad when you're 19 and hanging with 23> year olds because they all subconsciously feel like they need to gang up on you |
Scoot
06.11.13 | it's just the way it is and you get to do that when you turn 23 so it's like a rite of passage
i think we all just hate 19 year olds |
ncguitar
06.11.13 | Playing sports (football, whatever) when suddenly your shorts split around your crotch, and there are girls watching. |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | not that it happens to me, cuz im too good. but seeing a dude try look bad ass, and he runs and puts his skateboard underneath him, instantly falling off the board, shoulder first into the concrete... then gets up, and says to the girls who witnessed it, i was meant to do that... so awkward i cringed.. just watching it happen. |
Scoot
06.11.13 | so should i expect to see you in the next thps game or |
Butkuiss
06.11.13 | Went through the macca's drivethru with my girlfriend last week to redeem a free coke voucher cause we were thirsty as fuck anyway I wasn't paying attention and drove a meter past the pay window but the chick in the car behind me drove right up my ass so I couldn't reverse so I had to get out of my car to hand over the $5 and the free coke voucher with everyone in the restaurant and drivethrough laughing at me 7/10 |
Scoot
06.11.13 | oh yeah
my friend told me when he was a kid his parents took him on the local ferry and tried to lie about his age so it was cheaper only to have the kid freak out and scream how old he really was |
Butkuiss
06.11.13 | My girlfriend also doesn't like my beard so one day she put leaves and grass in it while we were lying down in the park at uni and then I walked into a 3hr chemistry lab with grass hanging off my facial hair and nobody told me 8/10 |
Scoot
06.11.13 | you weren't aware that she was doing it in the first place or |
Butkuiss
06.11.13 | Nope, I was taking a nap when she put the grass in |
Scoot
06.11.13 | wat a bitch |
EvoHavok
06.11.13 | Getting a stain on your immaculate white shirt and having to stay with arms crossed or use some other arm position to hide it. 7/10 |
Butkuiss
06.11.13 | Nah man she's p. cool I lol'd after. |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | when this thread gets old and you have the last comment. 10/10 awkwardness. oh shit what did i just do for myself. |
MMX
06.11.13 | sucks butkuis, my girlfriend loves mine and gets mad when I shave |
Scoot
06.11.13 | eating chicken noodle soup whilst wearing a white hoodie and having one of the strings submerge itself |
MisterTornado
06.11.13 | watching a skele rant and your gay black jewish uncle walks in |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "watching a skele rant and your gay black jewish uncle walks in"
'cause he's always sayin' fagaught. |
rockandmetaljunkie
06.11.13 | Another great awkward moment is when you have go to the pharmacy to buy a condom. If you're guy above 20 you don't give a fuck, but it's always an awkward situation for a girl that is honored with this task. |
tempest--
06.11.13 | 9 yes
10 yeah I watched Evil Dead with my dad and the tree rape scene came on but we were just laughing
3 has never happened because I'm a punctual mother fucker |
Uranium
06.11.13 | also when you have food in your teeth and you have a conversation with someone who doesn't tell you |
bach
06.11.13 | When you're walking in a public place and in order to avoid running into someone, you walk in the other direction but the other person counters in the same direction and both parties end up doing a fucking dance just to get around another person.
I'd only give it a 4 but it happens so often. So 5. |
ShadowRemains
06.11.13 | "When you're walking in a public place and in order to avoid running into someone, you walk in the other direction but the other person counters in the same direction and both parties end up doing a fucking dance just to get around another person."
happens to me a lot, it's like target fixation |
Gyromania
06.11.13 | thinking you've locked the door to the bathroom/bedroom/whatever when you're masturbating but suddenly realizing you didn't when you see/hear the handle turning, and try as you may to change the channel and quickly pull up your pants or cover the area with a blanket, you inevitably fumble about and drop the controller or can't change the channel in time, or you do successfully change the channel but now you don't have enough time to hide your junk. this is especially awkward when the person intruding doesn't acknowledge what just happened but you know you're both thinking it. 10/10
|
Kman418
06.11.13 | when you fart and a little poop comes out but it's not enough to make you have to rush to the bathroom but just enough to make you really really uncomfortable and you just have to play it off until you can get to a bathroom
8/10
don't ask me why this has happened to me |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | "thinking you've locked the door to the bathroom/bedroom/whatever when you're masturbating but suddenly realizing you didn't when you see/hear the handle turning, and try as you may to change the channel and quickly pull up your pants or cover the area with a blanket, you inevitably fumble about and drop the controller or can't change the channel in time, or you do successfully change the channel but now you don't have enough time to hide your junk. this is especially awkward when the person intruding doesn't acknowledge what just happened but you know you're both thinking it. 10/10"
Back in the day I decided to rip one out when my parents went to go grocery shopping. Just as I was starting, my dad came back in the house to get something. So I quickly pulled up mah drawers and gave the bone the old boxer tuck. Unfortunately, when I tucked my doodle in the waistband of my boxers, I also tucked the bottom of my shirt behind the head of my peen. My dad noticed. |
bach
06.11.13 | "when you fart and a little poop comes out but it's not enough to make you have to rush to the bathroom but just enough to make you really really uncomfortable and you just have to play it off until you can get to a bathroom"
this so much. Here's one I think we've all experienced. Ok, so you're staring a fucker down (whether it be a crush, or just a weird lookin' mofo). They catch you staring and then you instantaneously turn away and look around the room like it's a sentient planet or scratch your face or something.
6/10 |
Kman418
06.11.13 | and this is why i wait till 1 am to watch porn
plus i'm pretty sure if anyone that knows me walked in on me fapping to bear porn that would be pretty jarring |
TomServo
06.11.13 | 1. My mom walking in on me having sex with my gf.
2. I was in the bathroom at the mall, in a stall taking a shit, and the guy in the stall next to me was having a really tough time, just blowing the place up with some of the worst sounds I've ever heard. I leave my stall and see these 3 teenagers standing there at the sink and they are giggling, and as soon as I am out of sight I hear the 3 of them start cracking up, and one says "Damn, that nigga was shitting like a mother fucker!" I just wanted to run back in and yell "It wasn't me!"
3. This is the worst one because it horrified me like nothing else. So, my sister is dating a guy I've been friends with since middle school, and one night I came home and we have this room over the garage with a pool table and I walk in to play a game and I see my buddy on the floor on his stomach and I just see my sister's legs. Luckily she was mostly obscured by the pool table. I just stood there in shock for a second then closed the door and just the left the house accepting the fact I just had to see my friend going down on my sister. I think I'll be forever scarred. |
Gyromania
06.11.13 | kman: if you had said shark porn you would have gotten points for a friends reference ;D |
tempest--
06.11.13 | hell no bach I fucking love staring at people when they catch you just give em a wink or something
make em smile :-] |
Kman418
06.11.13 | I can never say that without at least three people thinking I'm into beastiality |
Kman418
06.11.13 | also why the fuck would you save it to camera role that's so fucking obvious dude |
Rowan5215
06.11.13 | What was said earlier about going up to a stranger thinking they're one of your friends and realising they're not? My brother and his friends used to say hi by running up to each other, jumping on their back, wrapping their legs around their torsos and yelling "BUTTSECKS!" (Don't ask me why). My brother mistook a stranger for one of his friends and did just that and, well, yeah. |
osmark86
06.11.13 | dang, nr #8 just happened to me at a pizzeria like 3 weeks back when I was there with my mate and my
brother. needless to say I was stoked at the fact we were all done with our meals and no one else was
waiting outside the toilet door. prompted for a quick exit and we had a good laugh at it outside when
they asked "why the rush?" |
bach
06.11.13 | @Lloyd I can't convey how many ways in which that could go awfully wrong.
|
tempest--
06.11.13 | yeah agreed bach
i try and act cool on sputnik but actually i'm a loser |
tommygun
06.11.13 | never been caught wanking sup |
RogueNine
06.11.13 | Number 4 ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
And I've had to endure 8 before. |
Insurrection
06.11.13 | 10/10 thread
kinda similar to watching a rape scene in a movie.. i was watching requiem for a dream in my room and was at the part at the whorehouse with the two girls bumping asses with a black dildo and my dad comes in the room. was very awkward. similar thing happened when i was watching the change up on tv and he walks in during the porno movie part when the old lady rips off her bra and the directors yelling EAT THAT TITTY BOY EAT THAT TITTY
im sure he thinks im a freak |
wacknizzle
06.11.13 | Bout to shit myself, brb. My anus is brewing a dark roast. |
Rowan5215
06.11.13 | Also, what about when something you own like a computer is fucking up and you go to show someone like a teacher or parent and it suddenly works fine? Damn technology. |
Sanders
06.11.13 | When you're walking along the street and come face to face with a stranger, and both try to juke out of the way, but go the same way about 3 times before awkwardly laughing it off or saying something like "ahahaha, let's dance!" |
Sleaper
06.11.13 | @rowan. i was expecting something much more awesome after reading the first line. what you just said is not awkward at all.... 0/10 for that one. |
widowslaugh123
06.11.13 | Dating a girl from work then breaking up with her but you still see her everyday and she hates you while you still talk to her cordially. |
apert
06.11.13 | Offered my seat on a full public train to pregnant women, who then asks why i'm offering her the seat, I tell her and she stares daggers and me and says she's not pregnant. Carriage was silent most awkward moment of my life. Had to get off at the next station and move carriages.
11/10 |
Chrisjon89
06.11.13 | thread is great. public toilets are a battlefield. another one is the accidental conversation loop.
eg. 'hello?"
"hey, it's ____, how are ya?"
"good man, how you going?"
"yeah good, how are you?"
"..." |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | I've had too many of those. |
SabertoothMonocle
06.11.13 | When you walk into a casino restroom with your buddy, drop trow, about to take a piss. Been drinkin',
ready to gamble. This dude is ripping the loudest farts ever in the far stall and I can't stop
laughing. I'm laughing so hard I can't pee. I have to leave the restroom, my buddy watching, and the
guy farting can hear me laughing. I didn't get to pee for another couple of hours. 7/10 |
Sanders
06.11.13 | "Offered my seat on a full public train to pregnant women, who then asks why i'm offering her the seat, I tell her and she stares daggers and me and says she's not pregnant. Carriage was silent most awkward moment of my life. Had to get off at the next station and move carriages.
11/10"
fantastic |
Adabelle
06.11.13 | Jesuslaves' pizza delivery sounds awesome, got to try that.
But yeah, relating to the peeing at urinals one. I went up to the urinal (one of those single metal tray things like 5 feet wide) and was next to a mate. After like 10 seconds neither of us could go and so I said "well this is awkward" and he said "yeah.." and then neither of us could still go but then I MANAGED and then he just laughed and swore and gave up and went to a cubicle.
Awkwardness 5/10
Amusingness 8/10 |
Adabelle
06.11.13 | Awaiting Recspecs posts. |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | Oh fuck I've just remembered one. One time I went to Thorpe Park with my school (it was on the way
back from a trip to Portsmouth or something). I think I was about 15. We all spread out and after
going on certain rides I see some of my friends deciding to have a laugh and go for the teacups. I go
to join them but they're at the front of the queue so I jump over the railing, and in the process
manage to kick out right into this fat woman behind me, right hard in the stomach. I try apologising
but she just gasps and then gives me this really nasty look without saying a word. I then have to go
through the whole ride with the woman and her kids in another teacup, praying that ours didn't pass
hers. Wanted to die. As soon as the ride finished I legged it. |
Typhoner
06.11.13 | falling off your bike while smiling to a girl |
tommygun
06.11.13 | "Offered my seat on a full public train to pregnant women, who then asks why i'm offering her the seat, I tell her and she stares daggers and me and says she's not pregnant. Carriage was silent most awkward moment of my life. Had to get off at the next station and move carriages."
holy shit this is gold |
bach
06.11.13 | "Enjoy your meal!" ~ qt cashier at local pizza joint
"You too." ~Me. Every. fucking. time. |
MuhNamesTyler
06.11.13 | That time when you're a salesman selling travel clubs and the stupid broke loser across the table can't afford it/ wants nothing to do with it. Always a fun ten minutes |
Cygnatti
06.11.13 | "falling off your bike while smiling to a girl"
you should do that on purpose, so you can get her close to you. you're good as long as you can be a smooth cat. ;) |
FelixCulpa
06.11.13 | Sweet list and some awesome comments.
Any one relate to the feeling when you have to explain a joke or a reference the people your with clearly didn't understand or didn't hear and you just want to forget about, and move the conversation forward but they insist to hear and then just go "oh. Ok." I do this way to often, I just think aloud something I thought was funny but no...
Also I've gotten better at this simple task in life but I used to always fuck up using my debit card. Either swiping it when I should be putting into the machine or putting in upside down or the wrong way. Feel like a total drivatar when I do it. |
Spec
06.11.13 | When you become self conscious of how you're walking. |
SAPoodle
06.11.13 | I lie not, this is the best fucking thread I have ever come across. Sputnik you have outdone yourself this time |
Sanders
06.11.13 | PPA - Premature Putaway... |
tommygun
06.11.13 | "When you become self conscious of how you're walking."
omg this x1000000 |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | One time I ran for my bus and some black dude shouted at me "why do you run like that???" |
Uranium
06.11.13 | a kid did a presentation on his laptop in class and he set it up and left the room before class had started and a bunch of porn viruses popped up and the whole class was silent when he fixed it
|
Thane
06.11.13 | i joined a friend of mine to scotland to visit a dude i barely knew and we were staying there for like 5 days. the second day i had to take a huge shit so i did and i had eaten like curry and stuff so it was lots of it and it got stuck like above the water, multiple spots. and he didn't have a toilet brush. it fucking looked like i had done it on purpose lol. so i went to him and asked quietly "hey man you got a toilet brush somewhere?" and he just facepalmed. |
BlindHouse
06.11.13 | I was watching Pulp Fiction with my brother and my parents came back during the gimp scene. |
MuhNamesTyler
06.11.13 | "When you become self conscious of how you're walking."
lmao |
Yotimi
06.11.13 | I used to have to grill mets and hotdogs for my job at a grocery store. One time a black woman asked me "are those mau mets?" I checked the package and said "no, they're oscar meyer." Then she said yeah but are they mau? I told her that they were oscar meyer again. She started to get mad and asked again are they mau mets?? I said sorry i dont know what else to tell you. Then she said well are dey hot? And i said no they're mild. |
Yotimi
06.11.13 | In other words the awkward moment when u realize how white u are |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.11.13 | that does sound like a very awkward maumet |
StallionMang
06.11.13 | Is there some kind of Sputnik award for Best Comments Thread, cause I think we have a clear winner here. |
omik1116
06.11.13 | When you're sitting in a bathroom stall and some guy is looking at you through the slit in between the wall and the door. Had that happen to me on so many occasions... |
Uranium
06.11.13 | Accidentally farting in class... anyone... ?? |
Uranium
06.11.13 | I did in 8th grade and I wore it like a badge of honor |
omik1116
06.11.13 | Yeah thats what im saying |
ConcubinaryCode
06.11.13 | When people ask how I'm doing I sometimes just reply with yes. Gets awkward |
Wafflez
06.11.13 | My entire life is one big awkward moment. My normal facial expression makes me look like a drooling retard. So I constantly have to do this clenched face thing that makes me look like a mindless robot instead. ;-; |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | Getting a hard on when you're lying on your female non-romantically-attached friend's bed with her |
DinosaurJones
06.11.13 | Back in college, I had to take my girlfriend to the hospital at like 5 in the morning because she was having terrible stomach pains. Here I am, thinking her appendix burst or something, but apparently she hadn't pooped in like a week.
So i get her to the emergency room and they take her in for some tests, and I'm just sitting with her. A nurse walks in and says to my gf "Honey, I'm sorry, but you need an enema." My gf turned to me and said "What's an enema?"
I just said i would go out to the waiting room and told them to call me back in when it was over.
I had to try really hard not to laugh at her though. |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | the one person at graduation that falls down the stairs in front of everyone |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | we were just chilling out and watching fucking youtube videos ok?? |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | running into your dads friends at the strip club |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | jizzing your pants at the club |
anarchistfish
06.11.13 | sitting down lying down same thing she's hot no bf |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | walking around the strip club with a boner |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | your dad confronting you about jizzing your pants at the club |
DinosaurJones
06.11.13 | Sitting around with a bunch of dudes talking about jacking it (which is awkward enough) but then one of them goes "Does anyone else try to aim for different things around the room?"
*silence*
"...just me then, huh?" |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | explosive diarrhea around a new gf |
chemicalmarriage
06.11.13 | being the person at the orgy no one wants to fuck |
Crawl
06.11.13 | Someone says how awesome the music they listen to is. In fact, the music they listen to is new Green day or Avenged Sevenfold. And you really don't want to offend them
6/10 |
idkpokeit
06.11.13 | 10 shouldn't be a 9.5 it's nowhere near as bad as the others |
thumbcrusher
06.11.13 | it is when it's family |
TheCollectiveFacade
06.11.13 | its only awkward if the mind creates the idea of it being awkward. Awkwardness doesnt exist, its a byproduct of cultural conditioning.. that being said.. i agree on some and lold. Uneven structures pwns btw |
DeadBay256
06.11.13 | One day a buddy, and me decided to hit up the mall. I had not done laundry that week so all my boxers were dirty, and I went commando. Walked the entire of the place, felt a cool breeze go up pants. Fucking zipper was open, dick was hanging, and I just walked by a few hundred people in the mall. So I high tailed it to the nearest store tucked my jimmy back in, and zipped uped. Not real sure if anyone saw, but fuck it was awkward anyway.
|
Sanders
06.11.13 | Holding a door open for someone when they're just far enough away that they have to half-jog to get to you |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | ^that's why i never hold doors anymore unless they're literally right behind me |
idkpokeit
06.11.13 | When you're taking a colossal shit in a public bathroom and someone comes in just in time to hear the splash.
5/10 |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | how about this one:
being at a restaurant or fast food place and being told your debit card isn't working, and you don't have cash on you. |
DatBeefPudding
06.11.13 | i lol'd |
DatBeefPudding
06.11.13 | One day a buddy, and me decided to hit up the mall. I had not done laundry that week so all my boxers were dirty, and I went commando. Walked the entire of the place, felt a cool breeze go up pants. Fucking zipper was open, dick was hanging, and I just walked by a few hundred people in the mall. So I high tailed it to the nearest store tucked my jimmy back in, and zipped uped. Not real sure if anyone saw, but fuck it was awkward anyway.
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA |
StallionMang
06.11.13 | @Jesus- Me and my friends went to Subway one time, and we ordered a crap-ton of food, and it turned out my friend's gift card had about $5 on it. We just ended up paying for it with money from the tip jar, took our food, left, and never came back. |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | you took money out of the tip jar? you're a terrible person. |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | but yeah subway was the place i had in mind when i wrote that |
StallionMang
06.11.13 | We didn't take the money, the cashier offered to pay for the food with money from the tip jar. Which just made us feel like even bigger scumbags. |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | christ i would've felt sick after that
fortunately in my case there was an atm right next door and subway wasn't crowded at the time so i took care of it real quick |
StallionMang
06.11.13 | We had no ATM or anything, so we had to scour through our backpacks for any leftover change. We even offered to pay with a bag of Goldfish we found. |
VisionsFromTheDarkSide
06.11.13 | "My friend was trying to Facebook stalk some girl and he searched her name but accidentally made it his status hahaha.
Fucking 10/10"
I've done this before, and I didn't realise until about an hour after I put it. |
Sanders
06.11.13 | haha that's incredible |
VisionsFromTheDarkSide
06.11.13 | Once I was in a public toilet about to have a piss (all the urinals were taken apart from one bang in the middle), so I go to get it out but my button on my skinny jeans thought "Let's make it really difficult for him to undo me." So I'm there for like two minutes writhing around trying to undo this fucking button (really cold day too so my fingers were stiff as shit), still couldn't undo, gave up and walked away in defeat. Very awkward. |
laucha1266
06.11.13 | when your hand and your friend's hand touch eachother by accident, and you look to eachother with a disgusting expression in your faces...
7/10
|
Sanders
06.11.13 | I wouldn't think that's too awkward unless one person looks disgusted and the other looks turned on |
GiaNXGX
06.11.13 | getting caught shop-lifting for chewing gum on walmart just when you were about to take tha gums out, trying to convince the worker not to lift charges or anything, fuck |
oltnabrick
06.11.13 | getting caught shop-lifting for chewing gum on walmart just when you were about to take tha gums out, trying to convince the worker not to lift charges or anything, fuck
|
DinosaurJones
06.11.13 | Pissing on a campfire to put it out. Sounds cool and also economical, but the one time my friend and I did it, it produced the most god-awful stench... like dead fish left out in the sun on the beach.
Kind of grossed everyone else out. Us as well. |
GiaNXGX
06.11.13 | talking about walmart, there was this time i really wanted to masturbate (hadnt done so in months) so i took two playboys and 1 maxim from the magazine shelve and locked myself in the bathroom. Really stupid idea lol by the time i came there were about 5 dudes going crazy cuz they wanted to take a shit and one of em's just constantly knocking and he suddenly whispers 'faaasteeer'. opened the fucking door and ran as fast as i can, intense times. |
Trebor.
06.11.13 | >The study lounge and the cafe are connected at my school by a door
>The door is usually cracked open and you can hear the other room pretty easily
>I get to school 45 minutes the first day of summer school early so I go to the cafe
>No one is in the cafe, cuz duh it's 6 PM during summer
>I start talking to myself decently loud cuz fuck it there's no one here
>I start drumming on a table really loud cuz fuck it why not
>Like ten minutes later I notice through the window two hot girls leaving the studio lounge
>oh fuck
>They heard me for sure
>Go to class, they're in my class
>fuck
9/10 |
Drummerboy123
06.11.13 | "When you become self conscious of how you're walking."
omg this x1000000"
THIS so fuckin much. Its normally around REALLY attractive girls and you become extremely self
concious of everything you do.
As for awkward stories, I just laugh awkwardness off. But no matter what you do;
DO NOT REFERENCE THE FUCKING AWKWARDNESS EVER!
12/10 if you do it. Just increases it. |
Drummerboy123
06.11.13 | "Any one relate to the feeling when you have to explain a joke or a reference the people your with clearly didn't understand or didn't hear and you just want to forget about, and move the conversation forward but they insist to hear and then just go "oh. Ok." I do this way to often, I just think aloud something I thought was funny but no... "
I just laugh at the joke even if I didn't hear it properly. And hope to god they don't ask me to explain it. |
DeadBay256
06.11.13 | When I was in 10th grade I went to Disney Land with my football team. The Seniors at the time brought these drunk girls back to their rooms where they were making out naked, and shit. So they go to every room, and gather up all of teammates to join in the festivities. So, we're all standing in this tiny ass room watching these girls make out, when one of them asks "Someone show us your dick." A freshman that year decides he going to man, and get him his first ever bj. He whips is dick out, and they stare for a moment, then start laughing, and say "Is that it?" He immediately says "yeah, it's small, but it gets the job done." While it was quite fucking hilarious looking back, It was also got really really awkward after. |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | LMAO at Trebor |
Jesuslaves
06.11.13 | anyone linked the hugo the hornet story yet? that's an easy 20/10 |
Uranium
06.12.13 | i struck out 3 times in a row with that and am no longer allowed to |
Butkuiss
06.12.13 | How old are you GiaNXGX please ;], like, 15? |
Coast
06.12.13 | Trying to fake gratitude for a bad gift.
Years ago my grandmother died on Christmas Eve. The extended family still met up for a rather sombre Christmas Day and also went ahead with the exchange of gifts with everyone hanging on one other's reactions for each present they got. I opened up one from an aunt which was a fucking bow tie. I was a deer in headlights with everyone staring at me. In my panic to try and conceal the stunned look on my face, I desperately tried to come up with a reason for liking the bow tie and blurted out - "I'll wear it to the funeral". Awkward silence hit the room. |
Sanders
06.12.13 | "cumming in a girls eye by accident when you were aiming for the mouth 10/10"
my mate did that and it stuck her contact lens to her eye
awkward |
bach
06.12.13 | "getting caught shop-lifting for chewing gum on walmart just when you were about to take tha gums out, trying to convince the worker not to lift charges or anything, fuck"
Don't cut yourself on those edges, GiaNXGX... |
HypedMerchant
06.12.13 | when a girl tells you to impregnate them |
tempest--
06.12.13 | don't lie andcas it was piss not cum |
Sleaper
06.12.13 | going to fist bump someone, and at the same time they go for a hi five. |
GiaNXGX
06.12.13 | haha |
Cygnatti
06.12.13 | "going to fist bump someone, and at the same time they go for a hi five."
that is like the awesomest thing, though. |
tommygun
06.12.13 | when you hug somebody who's a bad hugger |
MO
06.12.13 | 10 isn't awkward, well it shouldn't be |
SpiritCrusher2
06.12.13 | lol 1,3 and 4 happened to me today. though 3 isn't really awkward to me anymore, I'm always late :/ |
Veldin
06.12.13 | I'd say at least 40% of socially awkward situations occur in public bathrooms. |
Apollo
06.12.13 | I was in NYC on vacation shortly after getting married and as we were leaving to head home, I went to go into a unisex bathroom (an actual room, not a stall). Walk into the bathroom and a like 70 year old woman is shitting on the toilet, looks up at me and starts screaming in horror. I slammed the door closed, ran and grabbed my wife and friends and said "we need to get the fuck outta here right now!!!!!"
10/10 |
toxin.
06.12.13 | avoided this list for a while
great effort tho, #8 would be killer (fuck yea for hypotheticals) |
tempest--
06.13.13 | u got me! |
tempest--
06.13.13 | hmm i dunno mine was kind of specific to you while yours was just a "your mum" joke so |
tommygun
06.13.13 | interrupting andcas and lloyd bickering 6/10 |
tempest--
06.13.13 | we're just having fun i love &cas |
tommygun
06.13.13 | hahaha actual dancing in the streets vid 12/10
yeah that was totes awkies but i still wish i'd never found out about it
ruined bowie for me :[ |
balazs
06.13.13 | ahhaha best thread ever! |
TomArnoldsArmpit
06.13.13 | that video is so bad |
TomArnoldsArmpit
06.13.13 | blinded me with science is the 2nd worst video ever, but the song is better |
TomArnoldsArmpit
06.13.13 | oh, and I'm sure its been mentioned, but being running into someone you've fucked while you're with your committed girlfriend is
the most awkward thing ever. even if she doesn't know you fucked her. having a conscience is awkward :/ |
Cygnatti
06.13.13 | That video is awesome. |
Sanders
06.13.13 | getting a haircut that is obviously shit, but then awkwardly saying yeah that's nice, paying and getting the hell out of there |
tommygun
06.13.13 | i cut my own hair problem solved! |
Vakarian12
06.13.13 | thinking the Xbox One is a viable console.
11/10 |
gosk8n
06.13.13 | "being the person at the orgy no one wants to fuck"
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
lol |
tommygun
06.13.13 | nah i just shave it all summer then let it grow through winter and repeat, easy
only times i've had party sex is in bedrooms away from the main bit so i've never been busted but i'd imagine it would be hilarious |
tommygun
06.13.13 | nice reichy |
tommygun
06.13.13 | "talking to a chick that's really into you at a party then asking her what her favorite horror movie is and she says twilight"
that sounds awful lol |
tommygun
06.13.13 | yeah twilight isn't horror it's ROMANCE |
tommygun
06.13.13 | haha i had just edited that comment away from embarrassment but sweet i am relieved to not be alone |
tommygun
06.13.13 | haha damn |
Cygnatti
06.13.13 | "talking to a chick that's really into you at a party then asking her what her favorite horror movie is and she says twilight"
smooth sailing and then... 9/10 |
tommygun
06.13.13 | i still meant it reichy! (directed at yours about avoiding jailbait) |
ProfessorVeerappan
06.13.13 | fucking crazy experiences have been shared here indeed
Social Awkwardness to the extreme these people have to chill the fuck out and just a take a look around
mind open trip begins
... |
omik1116
06.23.14 | Meant to bump this on the one year anniversary. Oh well, one week late. Still one of the best comment threads this site has ever seen. |
frigyourgenre
06.23.14 | 10 is a 10/10 especially with family members oh gawd |
BMDrummer
06.23.14 | Why didn't I find this earlier? best fucking list ever [2] |
NordicMindset
06.23.14 | Having someone with a nice ass and tits see your easily visible boner through your pants
and not know about it until a month later
10/10 |
TalonsOfFire
06.23.14 | best fucking list ever [3] |
someguest
06.23.14 | yeah scoot used to be tolerable before he started watching shitty 80s films |
RogueNine
06.23.14 | Green, that's another good reason not to wear boxers. |
someguest
06.23.14 | lol like anyone can even see his boner |
RogueNine
06.23.14 | This list was pretty good but I still think the offensive jokes one takes the cake. |
demigod!
11.21.14 | what a thread |
someguest
11.22.14 | Cut the fucking thread. |
wtferrothorn
11.22.14 | When you tell a joke that you thought was really good, but everyone is silent. No saying it was bad, just SILENCE. 7.5/10 |
Ryus
11.22.14 | 5 happens to me constantly fuck new york city i always run into people i don't like |
ShadowRemains
11.22.14 | shit forgot about this thing
classic |
Ryus
11.22.14 | "When I was in 10th grade I went to Disney Land with my football team. The Seniors at the time brought these drunk girls back to their rooms where they were making out naked, and shit. So they go to every room, and gather up all of teammates to join in the festivities. So, we're all standing in this tiny ass room watching these girls make out, when one of them asks "Someone show us your dick." A freshman that year decides he going to man, and get him his first ever bj. He whips is dick out, and they stare for a moment, then start laughing, and say "Is that it?" He immediately says "yeah, it's small, but it gets the job done." While it was quite fucking hilarious looking back, It was also got really really awkward after."
lmao |
Mookid
11.22.14 | #3 isn't awkward for me. I do it all the time |
Mookid
11.22.14 | I clogged the toilet so badly that it actually did overflow and the next thing I knew there were
puddles of wet shit everywhere in the bathroom
3.14/10 |
Sowing
11.22.14 | This has to be one of my all time to 10 favorite lists. Classic. |
frigyourgenre
11.22.14 | #10 is actually the worst thing ever |
bakkermaarten007
11.22.14 | Making a sexually charged remark during a session with your hot therapist. |
bakkermaarten007
11.22.14 | Sneezing in public and finding your hands covered with snot, then walk away like nothing happened. |
bakkermaarten007
11.22.14 | Trying to be nice to the friend of a girl you're hitting on, then having her falling for you. |
NorthernSkylark
11.22.14 | i can't see anything but the word therapist
but those other two sound both horrible and plausible |
hal1ax
05.18.16 | this list is awesome. though i would put 2 at higher than a 5 - and 10 at way lower than a 9.5 |
LotusFlower
05.18.16 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalCollective/comments/3tw7ck/i_threw_an_animal_collective_dance_party_for_my/
the real socially awkward moment |
Zig
05.18.16 | Can relate to 10. Saw the film 'Saló or the 120 days of Sodom' on a first date. |
Sowing
05.18.16 | This list and the toilet paper in the bin one are both classics |
hal1ax
05.18.16 | 2 has happened to me a couple of times and it feels like an 8.
Like hey Sandra how have you been??
Ummmmm??? What? Who are you?
*sprints to car*
*gets to car only to realize I forgot my food order*
*drives off anyway* |
PappyMason
05.18.16 | Watching a sex scene in a movie/tv programme with your parents.
Ugh |
PappyMason
05.18.16 | On 3, after a certain amount of time it gets to the point where it just isn't worth showing up (depending on the duration of the lecture/seminar). If it's an hour long, and you turn up 25 mins late or over, there's no point. |
hal1ax
05.18.16 | 3 only really sucks when your specific seat is like in the middle of the row and like 14 people have to tuck their legs in and shift their laptops around so that u can scurry your way thru the aisle |
PappyMason
05.18.16 | If you have to sit at the front... |
Sowing
05.18.16 | For me if I were more than 15 mins I'd just cut, and depending on the professor maybe email them
Yeah sex scenes with the parents are definitely awful, that and shitting next to someone are the worst on this list I think |
truekebabpower
05.18.16 | Damn, how is 3 worse than 9? 9 is super awkward.
What happens to me sometimes is that a stranger tries to make small talk to me in a foreign language and I just smile and pretend to understand him. But then he just keeps on going and it becomes embarrassing to admit that I don't speak the language after I already smiled. |
hal1ax
05.18.16 | ya but with 9, you are usually telling the intense, in-depth story to someone you are familiar with, so i think this makes it a bit less awkward. if this happened with a stranger, i think that would be much much worse |
PappyMason
05.18.16 | I try and avoid this, but sleeping with someone you have no intention of keeping contact with, or having an actual relationship with. Then the following morning they actually try to start a relationship... |
PappyMason
05.18.16 | Or worse, think that you are in a relationship now. |
Nocturnalize
05.18.16 | 8 happened to me but I bailed ahrd I even left my shoes at that person house and never went back to get them lol walked like 10k barefoot and it felt 100000000x better then the confrontation that would ensue if I had stayed
|
hal1ax
05.18.16 | lol. i have never experienced 8 but ya that seems absolutely awful. |
Nocturnalize
05.18.16 | "One time I bashed one out in the shower and it clogged the drain."
Lol forgot how amazing this thread was |
Spec
05.18.16 | The other day at work a girls like "cya steve" and im like "yeah you're welcome." |
Nocturnalize
05.18.16 | terrible. |
Alastor
05.18.16 | "Can relate to 10. Saw the film 'Saló or the 120 days of Sodom' on a first date."
why |
Parallels
05.18.16 | being a transgirl and watching ace ventura: pet detective with your parents |
Nocturnalize
05.18.16 | being a transgirl in general must be awkward |
Relinquished
05.18.16 | well damn noct |
ArsMoriendi
05.18.16 | Drunkenly telling a friend who isn't a close friend something very personal. Has happened to me a few times... |
Nocturnalize
05.18.16 | "Drunkenly telling a friend who isn't a close friend something very personal. Has happened to me a few times..."
haha sucks to be you I'm a dick and would tell everybody your secrets lol |
Relinquished
05.18.16 | u guys ever take a shower at your gf's place not knowing meanwhile her parents arrived spontaneously and when you walk out high-and-mighty and naked out the bathroom you flash your gf's esteemed and fancy mother full dongle n freshly shaved
they still talk about "fondly" |
porcupinetheater
05.19.16 | Woah, like 6 totally isn't necessary to do, at all. If you don't know someone's favorite band, guaranteed they'll love to start in talking them up to someone that ain't in the know |
Parallels
05.19.16 | >being a transgirl in general must be awkward
its hell
kill me
|
iloveyouall
05.19.16 | i'm surprisingly decent at making sure 5 isn't awkward. |
Nocturnalize
05.19.16 | sorry about that brajette |
JeetJeet
05.19.16 | Listening to ignorant rap music in the car with my friends. We're all ready to engage in typical Saturday night bro-shit. All of a sudden the song ends and NIN starts playing. Whole squad clowns me. I'm like “Oh shit my bad its on shuffle". Now my aux cord privileges are gone. |
iloveyouall
05.19.16 | that's what you get for listening to trent "i'm still fucking angsty" reznor's shitty music dumbass.
|
Muisc4Life26
05.19.16 | lmao man 8 sounds awful |
JeetJeet
05.19.16 | This happened recently. I'm talking to a coworker about how we're gonna get shitfaced. Manager comes outta nowhere like Randy Orton. Of course I'm still doing all the talking. I tell my coworker “Yeah I got a bottle in my car. When I get to the club I'm gonna be shaking dick!". Right after I say that I lock eyes with my manager. She dismantles my entire life with just a stare and then walks away. I was in shambles for hours afterwards. |
iloveyouall
05.19.16 | i've done that before. should've just invited her along. it worked for me.
although my manager was my side-girl when i did that. |
iloveyouall
05.19.16 | whoops, not side-girl. more like wingwoman. |
Zig
05.19.16 | @Alastor: Back then, me and my friend didn't know about the film, only it was directed by Pasolini. Still think it's a great film, surely broke the ice. |
PlatonicMushroom
05.19.16 | pulled an 8 a few months ago, including the part about the shit-water mixture spilling on the floor. i wanted to apply maximum water pressure on my clogged dookie, but the toilet had this unfamiliar flushing mechanism that got stuck. i was rummaging around in the toilet cabinets for some unclogging tools and didn't even notice that the water level was rising ominously until it started spilling on the floor
fortunately no one was home so i unclogged the shitter with a rolled up newspaper like i've done many times before and started to clean up. in the end i think the only observable changes in the flat was that an entire roll of toilet paper had mysteriously vanished along with one of those massive black garbage bags
seen the guy a few times after this occurrence and haven't been confronted about taking a shit on his floor |
PlatonicMushroom
05.19.16 | the upshot of this experience was that it motivated me to improve my diet and it taught me some much needed caution with unfamiliar toilets |