Album Rating: 2.5

no Sea, directed at Winnie. When he doesn't take advice from a guy with 100+ reviews and says, "read deeper and you'll get it" that rubs me the wrong way.

And yeah I love love the word 'penultimate,' I worked it into the first sentence of my favorite review I've eve written.

Album Rating: 5.0

Okay, thank god. And I know, I know, it was a lofty headed kooky thought and really really ought not

to be repeated ever again. I've written reviews before. Just not THIS review before. Sorry if I sound

defensive; I'd love your critique on my first 'normal' review.



@Davey: Sarcasm and puns all day, baby!



Gaaaaaaahhh mess of confusion within the whole thing. Intelligence/ego had nothing to do with it, I

just didn't know if Sea caught on at all. If I sounded like a prick there, my bad.

I just skimmed over (with purpose) initially. Going to re-read when these people in my house stop yelling. Also, I need to listen to this record, so this is as good an excuse as any.

noooooooo... haha maybe I'm not being clear enough.

your idea of the concept review (talking about the 'play') is fairly creative and original, I like it and I think it applies well... it would make the review super readable...

BUT

... I thought (and I'm no expert lol just a reader trying to help) that your execution is way off here and the digressive conversation between you and the reader is distracting and unnecessary.

Please, not trying to be a dick, but do you know what I mean? : /

Album Rating: 5.0

Oh, it's wonderful. If you would like an actual review, I can arrange for that as well. You see, I'm

seeing La Dispute tomorrow, and can only hope that at least Jordan Dreyer understands what I was going

for. I have a lot of questions for him.



Well either way, I knew it would be rough. Hell, I pumped this thing out in a straight three-hour

marathon. I guess it's hard to get a meaningful critique in just a few words







O WAIT! (pls c wut i did thar)

Album Rating: 4.0

I was 100% planning on going to that show, especially coz they're with Tigers Jaw.



And hopefully I will get a raging clue and solve the mystery.

Album Rating: 2.5

oh my word

Album Rating: 5.0

Okay, I'll give you a hint.







It's seriously not a review. SERIOUSLY. It's not just a review. In fact, disregard the fact that I'm

talking about an album at all for a second. IDK, I analyze the crap out of everything, and so I meant

for this piece to be picked apart much in the way I picked apart the album, much in the way you would

pick apart Shakespeare to study it. And I was going to put a heroic couplet in the last two lines, but

I was too lazy get the iambic pentameter and settled for sheer rhyme. Also a hint.

ok I give up I feel dumb what am I missing?

Album Rating: 5.0

Well, I guess since I evidently failed at executing, here it is, sorry if I seem deeply pretentious, but I love little things like these.



It's to be read as if I were telling a story, and I seriously and consciously developed several metaphors that run parallel with the album itself in my review. Dreyer uses great repetition and meter, and rarely rhymes on-beat. It was my pursuit to mirror a lot of what he did with the album in my review.



I mean seriously, I don't mean to sound cocky but I only addressed 5 songs directly. Even if I wrote this incredibly well, it wouldn't be a solid review.

oh... yeah sorry I didn't see it I guess. props for even trying something like that, especially if it's something you're interested in, I unno.

Album Rating: 5.0

Focus more on the whole 'elite' thing. And it's totally cool, man. I know your heart was in the right place, and when it comes to normal reviews, I'd love to hear your advice.

I agree with Kane

Album Rating: 5.0

Who's Kane?



And for the record, the fact that it's this hard to understand means that I didn't really do a good job in terms of what I was going for. I was hoping my idea would become more and more obvious as the review went on. So where I may have excelled grammatically, I have failed realistically.

I also agree with Kane.

Album Rating: 5.0

Bahhh, iFailed.





In other news, FUCKYEAAAAAAAHHHH Fixed the last two lines of the review itself to pentameter, although iambic it is not. Consider it a modern heroic couplet.

Album Rating: 5.0

Eh?

Album Rating: 5.0

...And to the glorious past!

Album Rating: 4.5

Very pretentious review, great album though