Earth, Wind and Fire Earth, Wind and Fire
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breakingthefragile
July 30th 2015


3104 Comments


Alright, now that I've had a chance to cool off, it's really whatever dude. It's hard to correctly detect tone on the internet. Let me just say this about the whole italics vs. bold situation. When I state that, "it's just universally agreed upon," I'm taking from the past experience I've had on this website. I've been writing reviews on Sputnik since 2012 and I used to have the contributor position, and I'm not trying to infer with that information that I'm superior to you or anything like that, I'm just saying that I've had a few more years of experience in reading reviews on this website, interacting with this community, and observing/tracking how they react to certain stylistic choices in said reviews. I personally have never seen anyone on this site comment about how they prefer names/titles in bold over italics, but if you are truly getting this clashing feedback that you speak of, I can assure you that you will receive more criticism for using bold in your reviews than you will praise. From my personal past experience, the central majority of this website tends to agree that titles in bold makes reviews look jarring and inconsistent. I know you said that you're not aiming to be a professional reviewer or on the site's staff, but read any review from a staff member or a contributor and I promise you that none of their work has had a trace of bold in it since 2007. I actually just read your review of If You're Feeling Sinister and it looks much more aesthetically presentable due to the lack of bold. It's really your choice, but if the dilemma here is that you're receiving clashing feedback, then take it from someone who has been around the block more than a few times and trust me when I say that more people will prefer it if you just stick to italics.

zaruyache
July 30th 2015


27418 Comments


You can do the first-person thing and still make a decent review but the writing itself must be well-organized in order for such a style to be pulled off correctly.

"I mean, you don’t have to listen further"
Get rid of I mean, and just have You don't have to listen.... Much smoother, less amateurish.
"quick guitar riff begins;"
Comma, not semicolon
"Then, a poppy bridge follows"
get rid of Then
"without sounding ‘strict’ in any way, though. Definitely a major point..."
*in any way, though, and is definitely a major point
"This World Today that boasts"
which boasts
"Notice, also, the ethereal piano-driven"
*"The ethereal piano-driven" and then put it later in the sentence to make "brass section also give"
"But the record has a lot of grooving moments, "
get rid of But, change to "The record also", don't put also at the end.
"Check Moment Of Truth for instance, where the wah-wah effect"
*Moment of Truth, for instance, has a wah-wah effect
"a fabulous, sensational rhythmic backbone. "
holy adjectives, batman. Having fabulous and sensation next to each other is overkill, so kill one of them--I vote for 'fabulous'
"Any blunders?"
I'm sure you can say this more intelligently
"Now, it isn’t bad…but it ain’t great either"
same thing + ain't ain't a word and u ain't gonna use it or zaru b mad @ u k?
"diverse arrangement on the record but it is not developed well."
but is not developed well; get rid of "it"
" after that the songs"
*song
"but as I said they needed either to expand on the themes "
get rid of the "as I said" bit. Fix the rest of the sentence around that
"I don’t skip it when I listen to the album"
change to something like "it's not a skip-worthy track, but..."
"The first six tracks all rule without a doubt."
songs/albums/bands/art/your mom "ruling" is something that should be left to comment boxes, not reviews itself. It obviously sounds amateurish, and should be avoided in-review.
"and while we are at that"
get rid of that
and then the rest of that paragraph still reads weirdly first-persony and ewww
"What more do you want from a funk record?"
*What more could be asked of a funk record? get rid of the "you"
"Be sure to make this your first purchase"
You can again get rid of the first-persony-ness with getting rid of the 'you' and rewording it.

I did the whole thing yeah.

doctorjimmy
July 30th 2015


386 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

@breakingthefragile alright man, i get you now. It is indeed hard to detect tone on the internet, for sure. And yes, the clashing feedback has driven me nuts so I'm truly sorry for my previous aggressiveness; my temper has gotten very rash because of said feedback and I sorta 'took it out on' you guys ;) anyway, glad we sorted it out ;)



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