Review Summary: Horned Almighty prove that if Satyricon sucked as little as they possibly could, it still wouldn't be that impressive.
Knowing basic chemistry, one has the capacity to easily ascertain that in many cases, two things should not -and quite often cannot- mix. One must use discretion in defining this example, however; homogenization (complete, even distribution in the dilution of a substance) is not what is at hand. Rather, the case of substances such as water and any of the alkaline metals mixing (which cause a tremendous release of energy in the form of a water based explosion). A more common example, however, would be the inability of water and oil to mix. By chemical nature, these two substances cannot be mixed into any kind of solution, and there’s nothing in human power to affect that. This chemical property provides a nice allegory for
Horned Almighty’s latest record,
Contaminating The Divine. Putting forth a valiant attempt at mixing black metal with rock,
Horned Almighty prove that the unwanted miscreant of the combined genres can be done right. Sadly, they also prove a strange rule: just because something can be done perfectly doesn’t mean it can be done well.
One thing to know about
Horned Almighty: they are absolutely convinced that they are playing the devil’s music. Just try reading some of their Myspace info; it’s a literary abortion written by a child with a knife-impaled cross. Combine this with some of the most hilarious bandmember names to ever be witnessed (Hellpig is a contender for worst nickname ever) and corpse paint that looks like it was put on by submersion in a giant can, and the end result is a band so over the top it’s hard to take them seriously. A positive side effect: this band should never be taken seriously. If they truly play the devil’s music, then Satan must be a very, very bored being.
The band’s strength lies in their ability to craft tight and concise songs around their excellent, if lazy, guitarists and extremely solid drummer. The instrumental work on here isn’t the flashiest around, but it’s certainly no child’s play. Keeping things restrained while putting forth as much aggression as possibly,
Horned Almighty have a knack for writing riffs that easily sound as ferocious as possible. The standout first track showcases this excellent strength: starting off with a small guitar squeal and some trebly bass, the guitars come in at full force and never let up. The band’s guitarists can write excellent riffs, and know how long their songs should last: the riffs pertaining to one song never sound old; they retain their effectiveness, and often increase in volatility as the song goes on. Of noteworthy mention, however, are the lackadaisical attempts at soloing; they come off as complicated as throwing a guitar at a wall and recording the strings that break. The solo on track one is so uninspired, the number of notes played can be counted on one hand.
The production does its job of making the band sound as raw and bare-knuckles as possible, and this comes across in the best way possible. In contrast to many black metal outings, the band can be heard easily on every song, and of astounding pertinence is that the bassist can be heard clearly on each and every song, and he is given ample time to show that he too can keep up with the rest of the band. Of extreme noteworthy mention is the drummer, who drives the entire music forward with interesting fills and beats. This comes as refreshing to someone who is tired of music so badly produced that the listener can’t even discern who is actually playing an instrument (looking at you
Wold). This gives the band a very natural, visceral feel.
This all comes to moot, however, since every single song on the album sounds exactly the same. This provides a hilarious debacle: the band can craft an excellent, brutal, hard hitting song with extremely catchy choruses and verses, but they throw originality to the wind by rewriting this song 10 or 11 times, with absolutely no variation. If it wasn’t for the fact that the band is an extremely composed and effective unit, the entire album would do nothing more than make a listener yawn and wonder when that new
Wintersun album is coming out (answer: never). Giving it a cursory listen, one will find themselves bored by track 3 or 4, and lost by track 7 or 8. Riffs blend together, and this is not helped by the fact that the vocalist has a nasty rasp-growl that sounds awesome on the first song and boring on every other song (there’s a trend forming here). Combine this rasp with completely boring lyrics and an unchanging performance, and a recipe for monotony is formed. Content to play the same useless pattern for songwriting over and over, the band drowns itself in its own bliss.
Horned Almighty’s saving grace is that they sound competent. Listening to the music, it’s very clear that the band members are accomplished, talented musicians who have become used to writing bland, lifeless music. Many excellent riffs can be found on this album, but they must be found one song at a time. In this strange case, then, the band is worth listening to in very small doses, much akin to English black metal leeches
Cradle of Filth. The listener is left wondering what
Horned Almighty could accomplish if they actually tried writing a record instead of one song several times.
This reviewer is not heartless enough to insist that the band stop playing the music they enjoy. If this makes
Horned Almighty, then let nothing stop them from enjoying the music they play. As far as aesthetic purposes go, however, this band has not accomplished much, and seems keen to stay that way. Come for the first track, but stay at risk of peril.
