MosesMalone
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Last Active 12-17-13 8:50 pm
Joined 03-27-12

Review Comments 1,836

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Delivering Asian Food For A Living

Sweet so one of my old co-workers is hooking me up with a job at my favorite Chinese/general-Asian-food restaurant, delivering food and shit. Coming from being a shift manager at a Papa John's, I'm gonna have to work half the hours to make the same amount of money, eat FAR better free food, and put up with way less bullshit. And maybe they'll even show me how to cook some of that shit, which would be SO FUCKING COOL.
1Rhinocervs
Odour of Dust and Rot


The only Asian food I know how to cook is some egg rolls I made the other day, and let me tell you...making sixty-four egg rolls is one of the most tedious culinary experiences of my life.
2August Burns Red
Rescue and Restore


Otherwise I mostly just grill a shitload of beef.
3The Mountain Goats
All Hail West Texas


And I make a killer steak alfredo. Turns out if you put a ton of cream cheese into just about anything, it's delicious.
4David Bowie
Station to Station


Although, duh, I'm gonna be a delivery driver.
5Ed Gein
Bad Luck


Five bucks an hour tax-free, and I'm pretty sure there's not other tasks they have drivers do over there.
6Exhumed
Necrocracy


Basically, if I work fifteen hours a week and get tipped roughly ten bucks an hour, counting in gas I make about as much as I did slaving my ass off for 8.50 as a manager at Papa Johns.
7Hugh Laurie
Let Them Talk


And when I say slaving, I mean it. If you'd like an experiment as to why franchises are soul-destroying, I dare you to become the hardest working employee at a pizza chain. You will regret the hell out of it.
8Psychofagist
Songs of Faint and Distortion


This place is a local restaurant too, so fuck franchises.
9The Meads of Asphodel
Sonderkommando


And I live in a decently affluent suburbia with some REALLY affluent areas to it, and rich people fucking love sushi. And they really fucking love sushi when it can be delivered, and thankfully Habi has killer sushi.
10United Nations
United Nations


I can just drive around, jam out, and blow down ALL DAY LONG. And get paid to do it. And not have to deal with lazy political franchise bullshit. And support a local business that happens to be my favorite restaurant in town! Win-win-win.
11Trophy Scars
Bad Luck


And as you know, first-generation Asian folk aren't very good at telling when Americans are stoned. This has been confirmed by my friend that's getting me the job. She works as a hostess and has to stand around the bosses blazed every time, and they just think she's extra happy some days.
12That Handsome Devil
A City Dressed in Dynamite


AND DID I MENTION FREE FUCKING ASIAN FOOD ALL THE TIME?
13Suicide Nation
Suicide Nation


And perhaps I could even eventually get some table-waiting experience.
14King Conquer
America's Most Haunted


All in all, an exciting new experience for Moses Malone.
15Human Rejection
Decrepit to Insanity


End of tape.
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