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Faith No More Top 15

Rowan's favourite 15 FNM songs, ranked from #15 to #1. In reverse order to build a tangible sense of suspense as you slowly scroll down to the #1 spot, or something. Anyway list is dedicated to all my Pattonigs, eg: Judio! Insurrection, InbredJed, demi, laughingman, Ovrot, Gmemberkills, anyone I forgot ;)
15Faith No More
King for a Day... Fool for a Lifetime

#15... Ugly in the Morning. The ending of this song is testament to the fact that Patton is either not a human being or severely mentally disturbed, in the best way possible. Maybe both. "DOOOOON'TLOOKATMEIMUGLYINTHEMORNING!!!!!"
14Faith No More
The Real Thing

#14... Surprise! You're Dead! GUESS WHAT?! IT NEVER ENDS! NEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR NEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEENDS
13Faith No More
The Real Thing

#13... Zombie Eaters. Two minutes of a delicate ballad followed by four minutes of... FNM. This one is just awesome. "Hey look at me lady/I'm just a little baby/You're lucky, to have me/I'm cute and sweet as candy!"
12Faith No More
Angel Dust

#12... A Small Victory. A mediocre chorus keeps this one out of the very top, but it isn't easy to ignore one of the best verse melodies ever written. The shimmering keyboard just strengthens the impact of this motherfucker. "If I speak at one constant volume/At one constant pitch/At one constant rhythm/Right into your ear/You still won't hear"
11Faith No More
King for a Day... Fool for a Lifetime

#11... Cuckoo for Caca. There is some undeniable influence on the Dillinger Escape Plan in this mindfuck of a song, as Patton absolutely loses his shit in the best way possible. And that's a deliberate pun, because the song is actually about shit. "ITS COOOLD AND ITS/SMOOOOTH AND ITS/A HAAARD SHADE OF WHITE!!"
10Faith No More
Angel Dust

#10... Everything's Ruined. One of the few songs on Angel Dust which calls back to the rap-metal style of the Real Thing, and with Patton's markedly improved vocals on Angel Dust it nails the formula like a champion. "We were like ink and paper! Numbers on a calculator! Knew arith-mu-tiiic, so well!"
9Faith No More
The Real Thing

#9... Edge of the World. This supremely creepy and disturbing pedophile anthem is made hilarious through a strong dose of Patton humour and backed up with an unbelievably smooth piano performance. Again, only FNM could write a song like this one, not much more to say than that. "Hey little girl/Lay your head on my shoulder/Its not the point/That I'm forty years older"
8Faith No More
Album of the Year

#8... Last Cup of Sorrow = Ashes to Ashes. Again I can't separate these, and what can I say? They just chose really fucking good choices for the singles from this album. Both of these songs are propelled by the most massively epic choruses you could ever wish for, and really both songs could be four minutes of chorus and I'd be satisfied, but the rest serve just as well, particularly the subdued anger in the verses of Last Cup of Sorrow. "Take a deep breath and swallow/Your sorrow/tomorrow" "Smiling/With the mouth of the ocean/And I waaaaaaaave to you/With the arms of the mountain!!!"
7Faith No More
Angel Dust

#7... Midlife Crisis. With the most unforgettably catchy melodies ever constructed, this song will worm its way into your head and stay there for days on end. The band are tight as ever on here, with that rollicking drumbeat driving the whole song relentlessly for its duration. The lyrics are also surprisingly clever and self-aware. "I'm a perfectionist, and perfect is a-skin deeeeeeep!"
6Faith No More
Angel Dust

#6... Land of Sunshine. One of the greatest album openers ever, the iconic fortune cookie lyrics set against those freaky Patton maniac laughs are the recipe for nightmares. Despite this however, the band still manage to weave addictingly catchy melodies in with the hellish mix. "Life to you is a dashing bold adventure/Sing, and rejoice! Sing, and rejoice!"
5Faith No More
Angel Dust

#5... Jizzlobber. The band's most chaotic song and the peak of Angel Dust, this is them throwing any form of restraint to the wind and going balls-out metal for a five-minute freakfest before that heavenly choir wraps the whole thing up nicely. "SMIIIIIIIILES!!! BRUIIIIISES, SMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIILES!!!!!!! BRUIIIISES!!!"
4Faith No More
King for a Day... Fool for a Lifetime

#4... Evidence/The Gentle Art of Making Enemies. There's no way I could hope to separate these two as in my mind, they act almost as two sides of the same coin, perfectly showing off the two sides of the band. Evidence is possibly the sexiest song ever put to tape, showcasing an amazing groove led by some jazzy piano, while Gentle Art is FNM at their schizophrenic best as they jump headfirst into that maniacal ending. And only they would be able to make a song about prison rape so funny. "Don't you look so surprised! Happy birthday, fucker! You blow that candle out WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU, KICK YOU!"
3Faith No More
The Real Thing

#3... The Real Thing. This song is head and shoulders above the rest of Patton's first album with FNM if you ask me. The structure borrows noticeably from progressive rock, starting with a subdued section that rises in intensity to the chorus and then back down for a roller-coaster 8-minute ride. Patton also thankfully keeps that weird thing he did with his voice on this album to a minimum and delivers a mostly-flawless performance. "The split second of divinity/You drink up the sky/All of heaven is in your arms/You know the reason why"
2Faith No More
King for a Day... Fool for a Lifetime

#2... King for a Day. If you ask me, this song has a very deliberate concept in its lyrics, following the thoughts of a man who is attending a party and has his drink spiked or drugged. The change in tone from the snobbish and condescending lyrics at the start to that heart-wrenching ending is something to marvel at. Musically, it jumps from a groovy bounce in the verses to a more explosive chorus in typical FNM fashion, and Patton fully shows off his transition from sexy deep mumblings to shrill screams. "Don't let me die with that silly look in my eyes... don't let me die with that silly look in my eyes..."
1Faith No More
King for a Day... Fool for a Lifetime

#1... Just a Man. This is easily the most genuine and emotional song these dudes ever wrote. The lyrics are for probably only the second time in FNM history devoid of any humour, but instead incredibly thoughtful and awesome. Musically, its a lot simpler than most songs in order to give full focus over to the vocal section, but that's hardly a bad thing with Patton delivering such an impeccable performance. "And every night I shut my eyes/So I don't have to see the light/Shining so bright, I dream about a cloudy sky"
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