Trebor.
Emeritus

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Last Active 01-08-23 6:33 pm
Joined 06-25-10

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My Stay in a Mental Hospital

I guess first things first, I was planning on killing myself. I didn't go through with it though and my roommate drove me to the emergency room. My roommate gets gold stars for the rest of his life. I think we all have similar ideas of what a mental hospital is like, mostly from movies and books, padded walls, no shoelaces, no belts, forced meds, but it actually turned out pretty different than that. Anyway, here's my story.
1The Smith Street Band
Don't Fuck With Our Dreams

Went to the Kaiser hospital in my city, they checked me out, took blood, all that stuff. Had a psych talk to me, had a nurse condescend to me about not taking my Atavan because it would have made my suicidal thoughts go away lol. Then they shipped me off to a Kaiser hospital in Panarama City.
2Wil Wagner
Laika

Checked me in, put me in a bed in the hallway because there weren't any rooms available. Had a security guard watch me the whole time. The first security guard was shit at his job, because I went to the bathroom several times and locked the door. When they switched shifts, the second guard reminded me that I wasn't supposed to lock the bathroom door, man if I had done something in the locked bathroom, that first security guard would get shit canned.
3The Menzingers
After the Party

I was stuck in the emergency ward for like 10 hours. And they refused to feed me for a long ass time. My good friend Jennifer brought me a shit load of food which was really awesome. She along with my friend Steve visited me which was nice. My dad was also there a lot. I finally got to talk to a psych at like 7 PM, and he determined that I would have to go to a mental hospital. Then I waited 4 more hours for the EMTs to arrive.
4Friendzone
DX

After 10 hours of agony in this fucking hallway, I was pretty much over trying to kill myself, so I was pretty calm. The EMT restrained my wrists and everything on the gurney, he barely tightened them because he said he trusted me and it was merely protocol to do it.
5The Smiths
The Smiths

The ride to the hospital took 30 minutes to an hour. The EMT talked to me the whole time, we both make short films and do improv and voice acting which was like holy shit an awesome coincidence. He even told me he'd check out my web series.
6Lil B
God's Father

I arrived at the mental hospital in Chinatown Los Angeles after midnight. They processed me, took my stuff and locked it up. There's no electronics allowed at mental hospitals, which ended up being kind of nice. They took away my belt and my shoelaces, this was the most true part from movies. A dude took me into a room and strip searched me, they gave me hospital clothes. A nurse interviewed me, asked me if I still wanted to kill myself, all that good stuff. I said no. Highlights of the interview include signing a thing that says I can't buy a firearm for 5 years, and basically signing away my right to my own well being. They put me on a 72 hour hold, which basically meant the hospital assumed responsibility of me and I couldn't leave for you guessed it, at least 72 hours.
7Run the Jewels
Run the Jewels

Was led to my room at about 1 am, I wasn't even tired at this point. I shared a room with three other guys, no padded walls. They were already asleep. There was a bathroom in the room, didn't have a real door, rather this foam-esque thing that was almost a door. I have major bathroom anxiety which I knew was going to be an issue. I had my own dresser and everything, I put away the few possessions I was allowed to keep, mostly just my copy of Infinite Jest. I had a hard time falling asleep as you might imagine.
8low
I Could Live in Hope

They wake your ass up at 6:30 every day, which sucked because I didn't even get to my room until 1 AM. Whatever, they make everyone go to the cafeteria room for breakfast when you wake up, you can refuse, but I think if you didn't eat for a few days they'd probably force you. I honestly don't remember a lot of the first day. Kind of sleptwalk through everything. I also had a terrible migraine the whole day, I have medication that I take for it, but my idiot nurse thought I wasn't allowed to have it for some reason so she didn't give it to me. Also it was a Sunday which meant there wasn't much structure to the day, and I might not be able to see a doctor or anything. Eventually I did see a doctor though, they asked me a bunch of questions, blah blah blah, do you still want to harm yourself? No, OK, oh yeah your nurse fucked up, you can have that medication. OK great. Got my medication. Didn't really talk with anyone, there were 23 patients on my floor I think.
9Carissa's Wierd
You Should Be At Home Here

The layout of the place, mostly just rooms and hallways, the lunch room, and the nursing station. There's also a few interview rooms. And three payphones. If anyone wanted to call you, they had to call one of the payphones, and we had a relay system going, where whichever patient was closest to the phone would answer it, and then go find the person who the call was for. Also I had to write down whatever contacts I wanted because yeah couldn't have my phone.
10Gravediggaz
6 Feet Deep

First day I mostly read Infinite Jest in my room. My roommates were all really quiet, one of them apparently didn't say a word the whole time he'd been there. Called my dad, called my friend Jennifer. Visiting hours at this place were only from 7:30 to 8:30 PM. So basically visiting hour.
11Joy Division
Closer

My dad, my sister, and her boyfriend who is basically like a brother to me visited me and brought me food which was cool cuz the hospital food fucking sucked.
12Germs
(GI)

I forgot to mention I was prescribed a new antidepressant, so I'm now on two. They come find you when it's time to take your meds. They're really cool about it and don't make you feel like you're in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest or whatever. 90% of the staff were really cool and just treated you like a normal person.
13Misfits
Collection I

I was in Unit 3, which is the lowest security unit. Basically non violent patients. Pretty much everyone there was there for suicide, drug abuse, mental breakdowns, depression, whatever. Some were there voluntarily, but most were on at least 72 hour holds. I met a couple people on 15 day holds. Holy fuck.
14Owen
At Home With Owen

That night I started talking to one of my roommates, cuz he noticed me reading Infinite Jest, and he had read it. We talked about how absurd it was for me to read a book about drug abuse, suicide, and of course mental hospitals in a mental hospital. Turns out he's a film major, we talked about film and books which was cool.
15A Bunny's Caravan
Draining Puddles, Retrieving Treasures

My second day there I felt a lot better and started talking with a lot of people. Everyone there was really cool, sweet, not at all crazy. If anything it was just sad, all these cool people, part of every age group, culture, race, whatever, all fucked over by mental illness. There were 18 year olds and a 79 year old doctor, and everything in between. There was even a girl in there that I started digging on, but was mostly too afraid to talk to.
16There Will Be Fireworks
The Dark, Dark Bright

They had group therapy and activities and shit which were all right, but I got a lot more out of just talking to the other patients. The second night, I spend two hours talking to four other patients about why we were in there, crazy stories, whatever. One of the people in the group was said girl.
17Modest Mouse
The Moon & Antarctica

The next day was fucking Valentine's Day. Goddamn. This was sure to be a depressing day, but sometimes expectations get fucked. I found out early that morning that I was to be discharged, same day. Hell yeah. I also for whatever reason got the courage to start talking to that girl more. We spent the whole day together. I asked her for her number, had to write it down on a piece of paper with a loaned pencil. She said she was really glad I asked her for her number.
18The Smith Street Band
Sunshine and Technology

She's an art major, and had markers on her, so we spent a lot of the day drawing which was nice. I got a few other people's numbers too, people I had made friends with, and people that gave me really good advice.
19The Smith Street Band
Throw Me in the River

They fucked up my discharge somehow, and I ended up leaving two hours late. I didn't give a fuck though because I was with this girl. Eventually they let me leave, got back my belt and shoelaces, said goodbye to everyone, was driven home by my sister and her boyfriend.
20Tiny Moving Parts
Celebrate

All in all it was a good experience, I definitely needed to be there. I actually didn't feel depressed the entire time I was there, and haven't thought of suicide since. It feels good to be out though, no I just gotta do everything I can to not end up back there.
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