FlipTrackz
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Last Active 10-12-20 5:55 am
Joined 03-06-16

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11.07.17 what have I missed in 2017?05.17.17 Mountain Dew Ranked

Mountain Dew Ranked

The definitive, most concrete ranking of the popular Mountain Dew soft drink. My opinion is 100% right. Dew not question it. Only Mountain Dew will be ranked, none of that Kickstarter pleb soda.
1Shabazz Palaces
Black Up

TIE FOR LAST
Baja Blast/Pitch Black

The Taco Bell Mountain Dew contest reminded me of the election. Can I just pick neither?
2The Game
The Documentary 2

Game Fuel

Easily the most nonessential flavor. Everyone is already drinking Mountain Dew while gaming, why the hell do you need a separate flavor designated to reminding someone how much of a colossal disappointment they are?
3Frank Ocean
channel ORANGE

Live Wire

Decent drink but I didn't need another Fanta.
4The Notorious B.I.G.
Ready to Die

Original

It's kinda like that one band you listened to in middle school. When you first discover it, it becomes your entire life. Every cent you acquire goes to obtaining more. But after awhile, you begin to realize there are others out in the ether. You explore, eventually keeping the cherished relationship you once had at a cold arms length away. After years, you might forget about it. Venture forward into new territory before someone younger discovers it only to keep the torch alive. Going back, it reminds you of the good times but it's never the same. Better flavors exist, and better bands exist.

(Five Finger Death Punch. That paragraph was about Five Finger Death Punch.)
5Weezer
The White Album

White Out

In the grand scheme of trashy soda, it's the one flavor that makes me feel like a respectable human being. Citrus does that to you.
6Baroness
Red Album

Code Red

One night a few years ago I had to piss at around 2am and didn't feel like waking my mother up so I pissed in a bottle of Code Red and didn't throw it out for months. Also the flavor tastes good.
7AC/DC
High Voltage

Voltage

You see, it's citrus like White Out but the raspberries make this a God tier soda only worthy of drinking on the most special of occasions.
8Bruce Springsteen
Born in the U.S.A.

Dew-S-A

The pinnacle of soda perfection. Three flavors all evenly distributed into a plastic bottle representing the beauty of American commercialism. First, the commanding taste of Code Red meets the sophistication of White Out before being punctuated by the final surge of Voltage. Stories will be told of this legendary flavor. When the communists run this country into nuclear fallout, Dew-S-A will remind us of a time when people were free to dabble in not one, but three flavors at a time. One day, we will all pay homage to the glory of Dew-S-A.
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