YoYoMancuso: Best Soundoffs

YoYoMancuso 10.02.22	i am on the hunt for more short-term comedic content please help a brotha out
cylinder 10.02.22	these are hilarious. Here’s one I remember, BallstotheWall on Celestial Lineage by Wolves In the Throne Room: OMG.....I FEEL LIKE IM PARTAKING IN A FURIOUS YET SPIRITUAL ELVEN ORGY THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF THE NORTHERN WOODLANDS OF ALBION. I'M FISTING ELVES WHILE MEDITATING TO THE ENTRANCING NATURAL AMBIANCE OF CHATTERING BIRDS AND THE ENGROSSING SONG PRODUCTION VALUES. I FEEL ALIVE. IM EATING A BLUEBERRY RASBERRY BLACKBERRY FRUIT SALAD DRESSED UP IN RICH MAHOGANY SYRUP. IM PLAYING THE HARP. IM WRITING A SCRIPT TO THE 8TH HARRY POTTER MOVIE. IM PRANCING AROUND LIKE SOME KIND OF TUBA BLOWING FAGGOT WHEN THE HAUNTING ELVEN FEMALE VOCALS ENTER THE MIX. THIS IS THE SOUNDTRACK OF MAN RVEERTING BACK TO HIS ANCESTRAL ROOTS. THE DAYS WHEN BLACKSMITHS, BARDS AND FARMERS WERE LEGITIMATE PROFESSIONS.
evilford 10.02.22	"first time oil removed came on i punched my steering wheel so hard it snapped off and i spun out and rolled over a dozen amon amarth fans no joke" iranscam, Noothgrush - Erode the Person (Compilation)
Koris 10.02.22	"sometimes when I'm alone in the bathtub I start flopping my dick around and do walrus calls as I splash all around and then furiously shit all over the bathroom in a raging fit because my wench refuses to let me buttfuck her so then I grab my mountain dew and my copy of call of duty black cops and start jamming city of evil because I'm so tortured" -Necrotica, 2013 https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=134284
IsisScript80 10.02.22	^ That... that's gold, right there!
YoYoMancuso 10.02.22	lmao those are great, although Koris i think yours breaks the copypasta rule
Trebor. 10.02.22	La Dispute is being featured on MTV's Cribs wow! Hi I'm la dispute and these are the rooms of my house. This is the bathroom, I usually cry in here. This is the bedroom, this is where I do a majority of my writing, and also a good amount of crying. This is the walk in pantry, ughh I often find myself eating in here, and crying of course. Here's the dining room, since I usually eat in the pantry I don't really use this room for eating, mostly just crying. So yeah, you could say the rooms of my house helped inspire the lyrics on the new album, mostly cuz of the crying. la dispute - rooms of the house
Slex 10.02.22	God the poopy bathtub one is such defining lore hahahah
RogueNine 10.03.22	Man I miss zxlkho.
cylinder 10.03.22	"this whole album is a marketing ploy to sell the damn house" -NordicMindset on American Football (LP2)
kkarron 10.03.22	How bout this 0.0 soundoff on Mr. Bungle: "Probably the worst album ever. Doesn't even try. Mike Patton is a nutjuggler. RIP Dime"
kkarron 10.03.22	0.0 on Dopethrone "You can't spell Dopethrone without opeth. " I hate this.
rabidfish 10.03.22	But you really cant
Koris 10.03.22	"Okay when you hear this you can only expect the most brutal pit-riffment of slamgore gods. These are some of the most punchgore muddy guitar towns I have ever heared and I have to say the brutality is engorged by the sick vocals. Don Campan is seriously so sick like the brutalest probably, his pig squeels are so piercing and he swamps like no other. It's like a bloodthirsty frog demon raping and eating flesh and chainsaws. The drums are hyperblasting brutal punchgore and only the fastest double bass, yeah they're breakdowns are like a slam nocking a building down one wall at a time. FUZZYFAG IS A HATER AND PROBABLY LISTENS TO PUS[font=verdana]S[/font]YCORE" -i am the robots, Perverse Recollections of a Necromangler https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=23221
Minortimbo12 10.03.22	FabiusPictor202 "5 or die" https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=400623
YoYoMancuso 10.03.22	Had a crazy day yesterday but I’m gonna update this list rn
someone 10.03.22	quality thread
ashcrash9 10.03.22	“He hits the notes, but the notes themselves are gay” - SteakByrnes, by way of the original KILL PII review, soundoffed on the Periphery - Periphery IV page which I understand is a copypasta but there’s no way I’m not mentioning it
Troggy 10.03.22	Basic Channel - BCD-2 "What I expected - bsh bdm bm bsh bm What I got - Cssh Cssh Cssh Zssh Cssh Cssh Cssh Tzzzzch and other classics" -Roach https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=46611
YoYoMancuso 10.04.22	Classic
Pangea 10.04.22	"It's called The Loser because you have to be a loser (prog fan) to enjoy it" elephantREVOLUTION on the new Gospel album
Koris 10.04.22	"Lilo looks so hot with her exotic island girl looks, it just makes you wanna bust a nut as you can see her getting fucked from every angle in this hardcore toon porn gallery. Her little mouth and pussy get stuffed with hard cock, alien and human alike, and she even enjoys some hot taboo lesbian sex action with her big sister and some friends!" ILLIMINATOR, Watershed https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=27709 I can't believe this one even exists, lol
Koris 10.04.22	And has 9 bumps!
Scornfyre 10.04.22	Well it isn't creative or clever like most of the ones here, but I remember this sound off on Death - Symbolic making me audibly laugh. It is probably too obscene though. Maybe I'm just immature lmfao: "This is some gay, gay metal man.rSYMBOLIC COCKS!!! SYMBOLIC COCKS!!! SO VIVAAAD!! SO VIVAAAD!! TWO AT THE SAME TIME!! TWO AT rTHE SAME TIME!!"
YoYoMancuso 10.04.22	the repetition really sold that for me
InfernalDeity 10.04.22	"TWO AT THE SAME TIME!!" is fucking hilarious
kevbogz 10.05.22	"Tool are one of the most unique and innovative bands of all time and "Lateralus" is there most coveted album. It's damn near flawless all the way through. Keenan is definitely on top of his vocal game. His flat vocals suiting the damp music style. Adam Jones also had an excellent showing. Lots of great bridges and riffs throughout. The bass and drums were also splendid. An all around 'classic' album. Hence the five." -metallicaman8
SlothcoreSam 10.05.22	Alice in Chains Alice in Chains "Alice In Chains were one of the most popular bands of the nineties. Unfortunately they disbanded at the turn of the century. But's we'll always have their work from the nineties. This particular album is actually a tad different from their usual style. While it is still dark, like their usual work, but it's not quite as dark. They showed a lot more experimentation with this album which was great. I enjoyed all aspects of this album. Even staley's vocals, which I'm usually not big on. The lyrical messages were great too. Very solid album." Also by metallicaman8
SlothcoreSam 10.05.22	Atreyu Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses "Bland instrumentals. Screaming that sounds like burping. Terrible clean vocals. Mediocre bass and drums. This is Atreyu. They are undoubtably one of the worst bands ever. Aside from all the things I mentioned above the can't right lyrics either. Here's and example. It's so hard to see when eyes are rollin in the back of your head. It's even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong. Like really nice work guys. I've got another one for you. It's hard to walk with no legs! These guys have showed some improvement from this point in their career, but this album just can't receive anything higher than a 1.5" This one is Metallicaman's best
sixdegrees 10.05.22	when he's right he's right
YoYoMancuso 10.05.22	i wonder what metallica men 1 through 7 would have to say about this
kevbogz 10.05.22	suck me down it's time to rock n roll 😎
garas 10.05.22	Quality content.
AlexKzillion 10.05.22	deftones - ohms every deftones song be like "haha stank pussy go whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr breathy screaming" -snake.
YoYoMancuso 10.07.22	we still out here updating this
Scornfyre 10.07.22	Got another one from the best album of all time, Fantastic Planet: "Geometrically speaking, if Nirvana was a square," Stephen Brodsky [from Converge, Cave In, etc.] said in a 2005 interview, "then Failure was... I dunno... a fucking hexagon or something" -TheSpaceMan
TVC15 10.07.22	For some reason this one always gets me: "this dude thinks he's radiohead lmao" -mryrtmrnfoxxxy on To Pimp a Butterfly
Drifter 10.07.22	lmao yeah i love that one
tyman128 10.07.22	"Lamb of God one of the band for metalhead love but Omens not make groove metal is make metalcore for corekid. Omens make me said one time Lamb of God begining to the disappointing band for the metal genre. It's ok if band want play like a The Black Dahlia Murder. the album is kind a boring i never like Lamb of god as a kid, the album now make me hayp is not new just lamb of god play metalcore not groove metal. I think Lamb of God grow up now like the ather band (BMTH, Architects, ect.) this the corekid album for the year (ahhhhhhhh) is so bad.r" - MetalReview this is a new one, but I love this so much
hasan 10.07.22	any Sum 41 sound off that has a high score out of 5 on the web site good band
LotionLord 10.08.22	Really didn't expect to see one of mine on here, thanks for the shout out man. My favorite soundoff (besides the AJR one) is "Like scraping my penis with a cheese grater." - BallsToTheWall on the devil and god are raging inside me.
YoYoMancuso 10.08.22	no prob man Hot Mulligan grind my gears so I appreciated it
DavidYowi 10.08.22	Glad to be alongside such legends as BallsToTheWall and metallicaman8
LotionLord 10.09.22	And LotionLord
Snake. 10.10.22	"Do not let the album cover trick you, this is a fucking hailstorm inside of a tornado inside of a hurricane inside of the deepest dungeons of the 7th circle of my ass" -chambered89 on the inalienable dreamless
DadEsquire 10.10.22	honored
Scornfyre 10.10.22	"The pathetically gleeful sounds of a group of near-golden age citizens having the most fun in years. Like sneaking your drunken granddad into a disco and watch him grind up on 18-year olds." -BirthDefectBobby on Villains by QOTSA
YoYoMancuso 10.11.22	updated
thatbandsucks 10.11.22	https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=325922
Koris 10.14.22	"completely lacking a sense of rhythm does not make something ahead of its time, this is just shit music that somebody decided to try and make profound by littering it with absurdest tags like 'art rock' 'freak folk' and 'avant-garde'rthis is the musical equivalent of that performance artist who gets on stage and shits and pisses and menstruates on a canvas and smears it around with her fingers and a paint brush. doing something nobody has seen before and being able to talk it up and pretend it has some sort of obscure and sophisticated meaning doesn't make it a higher art form. i could slice my dick in half and fill it up with cottage cheese and tell you that it is a metaphor for the increased desensitization of humanity towards sex, but it wouldnt mean it is profound. it would mean im a good liar and everyone who thinks im 'edgy' and 'ahead of my time' is a gullible fuck. some things do not need to be seen or heard." -Silentpotato, Trout Mask Replica https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=8489
YoYoMancuso 10.14.22	^ incredible
YoYoMancuso 10.22.22	will probably always keep updating this
sixdegrees 10.22.22	I thought pots would've 5'd that album, damn
Spec 10.22.22	This is a fantastic list.
sonictheplumber 10.22.22	I'm actually who wrote that elim bungle one His password is sloth
YoYoMancuso 10.22.22	FrizzleFried moment
SlothcoreSam 10.22.22	"This is like sticking your dick in a cheese grater. Over and over. The sound that that makes is better than this record." Altmer. (hed) p.e. - New World Orphans
SlothcoreSam 10.22.22	Here's a goodie. Imagine you wake up in a McDonald's bathroom, strapped to a toilet. A retarded pigeon softly rolls his tongue into your left ear, "brrr, brrrrrr." In your right ear, a 19-year old with face tattoos and dreads keeps yelling "OOoo! Ooooo!" You turn back to the pigeon, only to realize it is also the 19-year old face-tattooed boy. This continues on for 40 minutes. By the time it ends and the shackles fall off your wrists, you realize you have lost the will to live and you continue to sit on the McDonald's toilet, shitting for an eternity. Butt. Lil Pump - Harvard Dropout
YoYoMancuso 10.22.22	wonderful
LotionLord 10.29.22	Polaris - The Death of Me: "That guy on the cover is on fire"
YoYoMancuso 10.30.22	Lmao
Lichtbringer 10.30.22	14 had me loling, holy shit
Trebor. 10.30.22	SYMBOLIC COCKS TWO AT THE SAME TIME
YoYoMancuso 10.31.22	2 might still be my favorite
YoYoMancuso 12.22.22	updated
LotionLord 01.03.23	Between the Buried and Me - Colors II: "will i be able to enjoy this as someone who is colorblind" - Brandon Scott
Snake. 01.16.23	"rockin stuff, if you're in the demographic that puts their birthyear in their username or have a photo of a guitar or drums as your profile pic you gotta acquire and 4.5 this shit" -porch on the devil put dinosaurs here
YoYoMancuso 01.25.23	updated yet again
Storm In A Teacup 01.25.23	Where’s Kman at my dawgs
YoYoMancuso 04.03.23	updating this list is my purpose in life
cylinder 04.03.23	Got one more for ya: “ My chief complaint with El Cielo is with the vocals, which closely resemble the sound that I imagine would be produced if an exceptionally pretentious mosquito learned to sing. But neither is there much else on the album to redeem it. In fact, it's really rather generic when it's not trying to remind itself of its own brilliance (something that Sputnik seems to fall for every time). Maybe I really am missing out on something great, but I really just don't see the hype.” -TheBalderdashMan on El Cielo by dredg
cylinder 04.15.23	"This is not dance or pop music. It's a steady endorphin drip. It wears the skin of 80s pop, but the songwriting isn't even Scritti Politti tier. The songs have no identity of their own. The hookless verses serve no purpose but to build up to exhilarated choruses that were carefully constructed by a team of scientists to ensure that you never become lucid enough to have doubts about serving your reptilian overlords." -BlondeGuardian on Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen
parksungjoon 04.28.23	L on TMR pots sorry
unclereich 04.28.23	Kitsch was a weird dude
YoYoMancuso 04.28.23	50 might be my new favorite
Colton 04.28.23	"This is the most soy fucking band in existence, and I say this as someone who is literally taking estrogen." lmao
PotsyTater 04.28.23	@park I’ve changed my mind on menstrual art since I wrote that soundoff. TMR still sucks tho lol suckit
Koris 04.28.23	Yeah, I've never been able to get into TMR. Even as somebody who normally loves weird avant-garde shit
parksungjoon 04.28.23	nah im ok with anyone/everyone hating it, its just false to say that it has "no sense of rhythm" or any of the other untruthful claims people usually make about it not being musical, not being tonal etc
PotsyTater 04.28.23	Not gonna argue with you about the genuineness of an 11 year old soundoff for the worst album I’ve ever heard in my entire life I truly could not care less
parksungjoon 04.28.23	good lad
PotsyTater 04.28.23	That being said it has no sense of rhythm tho and is not musical or tonal
pizzamachine 04.28.23	Where are all my soundoffs this is bull penis
PitchforkArms 04.28.23	This is fun
YoYoMancuso 04.28.23	@pizza your music is on here at least
pizzamachine 04.28.23	I’ll take it!
SteakByrnes 04.28.23	I am here
ToSmokMuzyki 04.28.23	i have made the list
YoYoMancuso 04.29.23	updated
YoYoMancuso 07.27.24	why yes i do still update this
Koris 07.27.24	I'll see if I can hunt some more of them down 🫡🫡🫡
SomeCallMeTim 07.27.24	The top two on Arthur Russell’s “Calling Out Of Context” should be on here
someone 07.27.24	Great list, important for lore and such
Get Low 07.27.24	https://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=73027 Gridlink - Orphan Top rated soundoff is a doozy
pizzamachine 07.27.24	Good list is great
LotionLord 08.31.24	Saves the Day - 9 "If jacking off was an album, this is it. The end result is the look of shame in seeing your reflection in your computer screen after closing out your 20 porn tabs. "Post-nut clarity" as they like to call it. Except no one had the clarity to toss this crusty cum sock before mom found it and sent you to bible camp to pray the sin away. Album sucks." -sentyrunce
gabba 09.06.24	"Kevin Sheilds probably masturbates to this album at least 3 times a day." by Jash about Asobi Seksu's Citrus