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Tom R.
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Last Active 02-15-23 2:12 pm
Joined 10-12-14

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 Lists
08.21.24 [R4] Build-An-Album³: Spill the OSTea 05.11.24 Eurovision Entries Scored
04.08.24 [R3] Build-An-Album³: Wub 2.0 02.27.24 [R2] Build-An-Album³: Out With Old, In
02.06.24 [R1] Build-An-Album³: Everybody Listen 01.28.24 LAST CALL [SIGNUPS] Build-An-Album³: T
01.21.24 Sin's K-Pop Roundup 2022 Part 3/3 FINAL 12.29.23 Sin's K-Pop Roundup 2022 Part 2/3
11.17.23 Sin's K-Pop Roundup 2022 Part 1/3 10.06.23 Recent vinyl pickups ver.29403
07.29.23 Vinyl update 2k23 edition04.08.23 2023 Q1 Part 2
04.04.23 2023 Q1 Part 1 10.09.22 Vinyl update shit
03.15.22 can you separate the fart from the fart02.20.22 VOTE SKRAMZ
02.09.22 my FAVouRiTE LYRICS!!! 10.17.21 7 years of sin >:)
More »

Eurovision Entries Scored
1Haustor
Bolero


CROATIA

Baby Lasagna - Rim Tim Tagi Dim

I'm not a fan of the actual song on this one, it mostly sounds like the lamest Rammstein b-side ever. But there are some serious performance chops here and it def has camp appeal. Love the costumes too.

EUROVISION RATING: 4/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.5/5

FINAL SCORE: C+
2Paysage d'Hiver
Paysage d'Hiver


SWITZERLAND

Nemo - The Code

Undeniably catchy in places, but that rap verse is beyond terrible. Loved to see how many tracks had a dance influence this year, but this was ruined by that one moment. However this mishmash of every thing under the sun is pure camp bait and with the visuals too this is nailed on to be a high placer.

EUROVISION RATING:4.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: C
3White Ward
False Light


UKRAINE

alyona alyona & Jerry Heil - Teresa & Maria

Another boring as hell entry from Ukraine which will inevitably score high for political reasons and not for it's quality. Literally sounds like corporate advert pop rap and the performance is completely uninspiring too.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.0/5

FINAL SCORE: D-
4Lucio Battisti
Anima latina


ITALY

Angelina Mango - La Noia

I wish the performance of this had more energy because everything else is peak aesthetic, those costumes are gorgeous. Song's not bad too, bit more latin than I would expect from Italy, but it works, quite like this one.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.0/5

FINAL SCORE: B
5The Gathering
Souvenirs


NETHERLANDS

Joost - Europapa

Absolute scandal this was disqualified because he reacted to a scummy reporter making fun of his dead parents. And this being one of the best submissions of the whole competition makes it even more scandalous. Amazing visuals and aesthetic. Pretty great slice of eurodance too. Watch them rig the votes for Israel now...

EUROVISION RATING: 4.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.5/5

FINAL SCORE: A
6ABBA
Waterloo


SWEDEN

Marcus & Martinus - Unforgettable

Ironically, a pretty forgettable slice of progressive house with generic vocals. Performance uninspiring. A pretty weak host attempt and especially weak on the 50th anniversary of ABBA.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.5/5

FINAL SCORE: D+
7Contrastic
Contrastic


CZECHIA

Aiko - Pedestal

It's fine. It's obvious why this didn't get through the semis though. Generic pop punk which is not Eurovision-pilled at all, and a pretty lifeless performance.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.5/5

FINAL SCORE: D+
8Mika
Life in Cartoon Motion


UNITED KINGDOM

Olly Alexander - Dizzy

I love that Danny L Harle wrote this. I hate that it kinda sucks. The intro is so close to a Mika song and not in the good campy way. Other than that there is no energy in the song either. However the performance and aesthetic is really solid. It certainly makes me think that we might actually be taking Eurovision a bit more seriously given this and the Sam Ryder one a couple years back, but we're not quite there yet.

EUROVISION RATING: 3.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.5/5

FINAL SCORE: C
9Rome
Flowers From Exile


LUXEMBOURG

TALI - Fighter

Luxembourg has an amazing legacy in Eurovision (France Gall anyone?).So why does their first entry in 30 years suck so much ass? Seriously this is lame as hell, and that's even without the accusations of this being a love letter to the fucking IDF. Weak as fuck.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1.5/5

FINAL SCORE: F
10Alina Orlova
Laukinis suo dingo


LITHUANIA

Silvester Belt - Luktelk

Lovely slice of dark techno-pop, this one's a dark horse for me, could sneak in quite high. Great performance and visuals, and what it maybe lacks a little in memorability it makes up for in style.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.5/5

FINAL SCORE: B
11Fennesz
Endless Summer


AUSTRIA

Kaleen - We Will Rave

Very strong showing, love the trance and eurodance representation this year and this is the pick of the bunch. Even has a great big beat acid sequence in there. Definitely a massive contender if I was the judge. Perfrormance really solid in the semi too.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 4.0/5

FINAL SCORE: A+
12Kraftwerk
Computer World


GERMANY

ISAAK - Always on the Run

I think Germany accidentally sent the UK's entry this year. This is absolute trash. Sounds like a really shitty 2012 'indie' pop song. This should get 0 points.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1,0/5

FINAL SCORE: F
13Yannis Kyriakides
Antichamber


CYPRUS

Silia Kapsis - Liar

Pretty meh track, but idk this has a cuntiness to it and she definitely serves with her stage presence. Not enough to do great though. Still, pretty impressive for a 17 year old.

EUROVISION RATING: 3.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.5/5

FINAL SCORE: C-
14Oathbreaker
Rheia


BELGIUM

Mustii - Before the Party's Over

Proof being a big name country doesn't guarantee success, this very deservedly did not make the final. Unbearably flat and weak songwriting and his vocals are equally so. Visuals were nice but not nearly nice enough.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1,5/5

FINAL SCORE: D-
15U2
War


IRELAND

Bambie Thug - Doomsday Blue

One of the most unique and exciting Eurovision entries ever, and one of the best performances ever in the semis. If this doesn't get top 3 something is seriously wrong. This just GETS Eurovision, it's out-there and abrasively so, it's camp and it's energetic. Great song too. Glad to see Ireland getting back to form.

EUROVISION RATING: 5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 4.0/5

FINAL SCORE: A+
16Mgla
Exercises in Futility


POLAND

LUNA - The Tower

An alright song that just doesn't fit Eurovision at all. Played very straight and pretty lowkey, with none of the campiness or quirkiness necessary, and a pretty subpar performance destined this to semis elimination. Oh well.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.5/5

FINAL SCORE: D
17Daft Punk
Homework


FRANCE

Slimane - Mon amour

Boring fucking ballad. Booo!

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1.5/5

FINAL SCORE: F
18Aphrodite's Child
666


GREECE

Marina Satti - ZARI

The best track that's destined to be overlooked. Also like, the best track. Sure it's Greek Rosalia. But Greek Rosalia absolutely serves. Really fun performance too, and a great music video for anyone who cares to check it out.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 4.5/5

FINAL SCORE: A+
19Rosalia
Motomami


SPAIN

Nebulossa - Zorra

Lowkey but in a good way, an earworm and a half. Not a super lively performance, but this seems to be a fan favourite, and I can see why - those dancers are great. And I'm always up for good synthpop.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.5/5

FINAL SCORE: B
20Iceage
Plowing into the Field of Love


DENMARK

Saba - Sand

Might be the weakest synthpop song I've ever heard and the performance in the semis was weak as hell. No wonder they went out.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1.5/5

FINAL SCORE: F
21Lordi
The Arockalypse


FINLAND

Windows95man - No Rules!

A poor imitation of cheesy over-the-top eurodance worship. Rips it's whole shit from Gunther. It's still fun I guess and it's a decent performance, but this is one of the worst executions of this style I've seen.

EUROVISION RATING: 3.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.0/5

FINAL SCORE: D+
22Yasnost
The Minsk Sea


GEORGIA

NUTSA - Fire Fighter

Incredibly dated song, but this gets by with an excellent performance in the semis. Don't expect this to do much in the final and it doesn't deserve to, but an entertaining visual affair.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.o/5

FINAL SCORE: C-
23Apotheosis
Farthest from the Sun


MALTA

Sarah Bonnici - Loop

Copy-paste the Georgia entry but this didn't make it and was slightly worse in each aspect.

EUROVISION RATING: 3.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.0/5

FINAL SCORE: D-
24Tigran Hamasyan
Mockroot


ARMENIA

LADANIVA - Jako

One of the more distinct and authentically culturally inspired here, Suffers a little from not being camp enough but it's good clean fun otherwise.

EUROVISION RATING: 3.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.5/5

FINAL SCORE: B
25Violet Cold
Empire of Love


AZERBAIJAN

FAHREE & Ilkin Dovlatov - Özünlə apar

Well that's an obvious semis elimination if I've ever seen one. The background vocals in the second half are a nice touch but nothing else stands out at all.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.0/5

FINAL SCORE: D-
26Todd Terje
It's Album Time


NORWAY

Gåte - Ulveham

Nothing to say on this one other than it actually goes. Dark metallic folk rock is certainly a choice but they pull it off great. Will not win because it isn't campy enough but an excellent entry otherwise.

EUROVISION RATING: 3.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 4.0/5

FINAL SCORE: A-
27Pia Fraus
In Solarium


ESTONIA

5MIINUST & Puuluup - (nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi

Amazingly fun track and obviously these guys get Eurovision. Might not win but they crafted an incredibly infectious chorus and a very lively performance. One for the live crowd to jump to.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.5/5

FINAL SCORE: A
28Elina Duni
Partir


ALBANIA

BESA - Titan

Not the worst but nothing memorable about this at all. In a year of synthpop she needed more than this to get through semis and didn't have it in the performance.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.0/5

FINAL SCORE: D-
29Men at Work
Business as Usual


AUSTRALIA

Electric Fields - One Milkali (One Blood)

Song is actually alright, but the performance for this one was really weak. Australia still suffering from teething problems since their honourary inclusion.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.0/5

FINAL SCORE: C
30Idoli
Odbrana i poslednji dani


SERBIA

Teya Dora - Ramonda

Good vocals, mediocre everything else. No energy in visuals or performance either. Not sure how this got past semis.

EUROVISION RATING: 2,5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.0/5

FINAL SCORE: D
31Bruno Pernadas
Those Who Throw Objects at the Crocodiles...


PORTUGAL

iolanda - Grito

Pretty solid song, but this just isn't Eurovisionny enough for me. Like it outside that context though.

EUROVISION RATING: 2,5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 3.0/5

FINAL SCORE: C
32Alchimia (SAN)
Another Star Is Approaching the Sun


SAN MARINO

Megara - 11:11

Amazingly bad. Badly amazing. This was a song. This is very Eurovision. Shame it didn't make the final just for that.

EUROVISION RATING: 4.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.0/5

FINAL SCORE: C+
33Orphaned Land
Mabool (The Story of the Three Sons...)


ISRAEL

Eden Golan - Hurricane

Not gonna dignify this one with a rating.

EUROVISION RATING: -/5
ACTUAL SONG: -/5

FINAL SCORE: N/A
34Domenique Dumont
Comme ça


LATVIA

Dons - Hollow

You're just a shit Hozier. Wait a second. You're just a shitter Hozier. How did this get past semis?

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1.5/5

FINAL SCORE: F
35Devil Doll
The Girl Who Was... Death


SLOVENIA

Raiven - Veronika

A bit too melodramatic and tryhard 'epic' for my tastes, but great vocal performance and was an obvious pick in the semis. Can't see it doing much in the finals though.

EUROVISION RATING: 3.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 2.5/5

FINAL SCORE: C+
36O-Zone
Disc-O Zone


MOLDOVA

Natalia Barbu - In the Middle

This is a load of nothing and about a decade late. Obvious elimination.

EUROVISION RATING: 2.0/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1.5/5

FINAL SCORE: F
37Bjork
Post


ICELAND

Hera Björk - Scared of Everything

Singlehandedly tanking the Björk name worldwide. Possibly the worst non-Israel song entered, which is a shame because her previous entry wasn't bad at all.

EUROVISION RATING: 1.5/5
ACTUAL SONG: 1.0/5

FINAL SCORE: F-
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