Review Summary: In a manner of speaking, this work of art is a gateway into a world of immeasurable pleasure, intensified by the consumption of gallons of water and White Castle to be strewn henceforth upon any who glide into its ubiquitous presence.
It's difficult to describe the religious following created in the mid-2000s by
Trapped In the Closet unless you were there to soak it in for yourself. Legendary R&B artist R. Kelly had already proven himself as the leading modern master of musical composition, and as an immediate blockbuster hit in 2006,
Trapped In the Closet would be launched to a perpetual presence on talk television and South Park, as well as hundreds of venues across the world to this very day. The album was one of the last widespread and successful LP releases, and the LP was the first Urban Opera to enter the charts at a resounding #1. With over 400 million album sales of that recording since, it's safe to say that Kelly’s
Trapped In the Closet is a cult, a religion, and quite possibly one of the greatest compositions in the history of the musical and opera genres. Sweeping multitudes of Spin and BET awards, the album was a perfect storm... a perfect cross section of R&B, opera, and pop genres performed by one of the most talented and well-balanced artists of all time. While much press was given to the golden showers and sexual eccentricities of the saga’s lead, the lasting dynasty of
Trapped In the Closet is owed to the majesty of lead actor Kelly alone. With that in mind, any listener needs to accept the ultimate triumph of
Trapped In the Closet in its genre, whether you belong to its following or are left baffled by its appeal.
Featuring a striking music video aired in constant rotation on esteemed stations such as VH1 and MTV that accompanied the album,
Closet’s impact on pop-culture and every album released in its wake is utterly astounding. The image of R. Kelly trapped inside of a lover’s closet as her husband enters the room has populated the dreams of nubile teens and aging blue-hairs alike – and at the risk of understatement, how could it achieve anything less? Chapters 1-12 are all veritable classics, raising the neck hairs of this user on a daily basis since its initial release.
Those who have ignored or refuted the greatness of
Closet are likely of the same ilk that wallow in their own filth in front of a dusty computer, creating fake screen names and harassing poor souls over the internet. A grimy and repulsive bunch, these incomprehensible fools will likely never appreciate the classic status bestowed upon such legendary records as this, or for that matter
Sports by the late great Huey Lewis and the News or
Batman Forever by Soundtrack. In a manner of speaking, this work of art is a gateway into a world of immeasurable pleasure, intensified by the consumption of gallons of water and White Castle to be strewn henceforth upon any who glide into its ubiquitous presence.
So, the challenge is yours, readers of this review. Will you accept and enter into a world as dark as your walk-in closet, yet as enlightening as the buxom of a fair princess? Or shall you continue to walk among the unwashed masses, blindly shifting from one site of solitude to the next, creating alternate identities on meaningless websites and wallowing in futility. The user known as DogFish suggests the former. Continue at your own risk.
