Review Summary: Today, we thank you Based God. We thank you for saving Hip-Hop.
The religion of the Based God is a mysterious one. It holds no real name or real commandments, and yet people flock to it without thinking first. It is a religion of worship, love and good times. The Based God doesn’t want you to devote your entire life to torturing yourself like other religions; he wants you to experience life and all of its wonderful pleasures. The Based God is the most mysterious enigma in the universe today. He holds no true form, but when he does take a human shape, he takes the form of an African-American preacher in angelic robes and is decorated with the finest gems and jewels. He makes you want to bow down right in front of him and say “Thank you Based God”, and you do. There’s no denying his mysterious, powerful and awe-inspiring presence. Normally, he goes by the name of Based God, but he has been referred to as “Lil B” by some of his peers. When we do thank the Based God, he provides us with his sermons recorded on to CD’s full of wisdom, sagacious sayings, and motivational speeches. The Based God has us all ensnared in his tangled web of brilliance and godliness. Anyone who says otherwise is simply referred to as a hater. So if you’re not following The Based God now, get on it. His words will guide you on to the right path.
Roses Exodus is one of our dear lords many recorded sermons. Quite possibly his most inspirational one too. Throughout, he preaches to us his most wise and profound sayings. He tells tales of how he has saved the art form known as “Hip-Hop” and how haters have ruined its purity. He deems himself an outcast, yet he has plans for the future of Hip-Hop. The Based God has started a massive take-over to regain Hip-Hop back from those who have used it for un-pure deeds such as greed, gluttony and disrespect. His stories motivate you to get up, and do something with your life. The Based God wants you to bathe in your sexual pleasures, he wants you to have godly, hallucinatory experiences and he wants you to have a fancy transportation vehicle. Encouraging words and beautiful stories are placed throughout, with preaching that got him followers in the first place.
Of course, with any good sermon, is good backing music. Here, an angelic background band record heavenly compositions that hold a hazy ambience about them. The divine strings, the unearthly choirs, the minor percussion and the swishing sounds of heaven wring behind The Based God’s speeches. The massive, intricate structures of these masterpieces are too great for mortal ears to understand. Listening to these with a pair of headphones would make your eardrums implode upon themselves and it would deafen you for eternity. Speakers are the recommended choice of course. But anyways, the amount of details put into each piece of music is so great you can’t help but appreciate the musician’s taste for minimalist, ambient music. There’s even some beautiful acoustic guitar playing depressing notes over cheery, preaching. It’s really a brilliant concept. The music is meant to accompany The Based God’s beautiful voice and it never overpowers it, ever.
If you’re not following this nameless religion now, I truly feel sorry for you. It is one that leads to a lifetime of fulfillment and enjoyment. Sure, there are commitments you have to make, like thanking the dear lord himself, but it’s all worth it. The religion of The Based God is truly the right path to salvation and freedom from your sins. It purges you of all un-holiness you had before. Simply put, it is the only way of life, and if you have not joined, you should now. Or else there may never be another chance. So I say, Thank you Based God. Thank you for everything you have provided us with. Thank you for guiding us on the right path. You’ve truly given us the greatest gift of all, and that is, you.
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