Review Summary: This horse still has a little life left it seems.
Parodies seem to have become a cheap way to get recognition nowadays. It became extremely noticeable in the movie industry, with many unfunny and uncreative ‘’parodies’’ (Disaster Movie, Meet The Spartans) still making back their budget and more. It now has creeped itself unto metal music on Youtube, where simply referencing something is supposed to make people laugh. Jarrod Alonge is one of the primary ones doing it, and a full album of Metalcore/Pop-Punk parodies by him should have been terrible. However, calling this ‘’Beating a Dead Horse’’, along with Jarrod himself saying that he’s been ‘’making the same jokes for years now’’ and that this should be ‘’the nail in the coffin’’ made me think this could at least be entertaining. I gave it a chance, and if you used to/still listen to -core music, then you should too.
It isn’t exactly clear who did most of the songwriting/playing on each song, so I’m going to give credit to Jarrod, because he had the final word on everything. The guy just gets it, with every style being perfectly emulated, to a point where someone not listening to the lyrics could legitimately enjoy these songs. ’’The Swimmer’’ and ‘’Save My Life’’ by Amidst The Grave’s Demons both nail Memphis May Fire’s bouncy half-time feel and We Came as Romans’ in your face uplifting message respectively, while being more enjoyable than both these band’s latest material. ‘’Inconceivable Somatic Defecation’’ by Vermicide Violence and ‘’Cosmic Metaphysical Verisimilitude’’ by Rectangles do the same thing but for Deathcore and Djent in a larger sense. ‘’Cosmic Metaphysical Verisimilitude’’ in particular has some really killer grooves and huge growled vocals. The strongest ones, though, come from A Day to Remember/Chunk! No, Captain Chunk! knock-off band Sunrise Skaters Kids. Those songs are so incredibly energetic and catchy that you can’t help but sing-along to them. It also helps a great deal that the professional-level production is different and appropriate for each ‘’band’’.
But what is a parody album if it isn’t funny, right? I think that most of these songs are loving, nostalgic tributes more than they are full-on parodies, and that’s what makes most of their charm. However, there is still a healthy dose of laughs to be had here. ‘’Love Me Back’s’’ stalker love story, ‘’Misogyneric’s’’ over-the-top hate towards women, ‘’2 freaky 4 The Club’s’’ BrokeNcyde hommage and ‘’Goodbye Baltimore’s’’ out-of-key flute solos should all bring at least a smile to everyone’s faces. The jewel here though is ‘’Hey Jarrod, What’s That Song Again’’. That song is a huge nostalgic mash-up of old songs from bands such as Asking Alexandria, Of Mice and Men, August Burns Red, I See Stars, Underoath, etc… The twist is that the lyrics have been changed for something about making the same song over and over, yet are still close to the original’s, which is really clever. Here are a few little examples:
‘’This is plagiarism! (This is sempiternal)’’
‘’The downfall of your songs (The downfall of us all)’’
‘’Disrespect copyright laws (Disrespect your surroundings)’’
So there you have it guys. This album really is a love letter and a celebration of -core music more than it is a cynical deconstruction of why it sucks. The only little downside to all this is that, due to the nature of the music, this probably won’t have the biggest replay value. However, this is a genuinely fun album that should have something for almost everyone.
