Review Summary: I must confess, I no longer believe in Britney Spears.
Glory, the ninth studio outing from pop icon Britney Spears, does exactly the opposite of what the title of the album suggests. Trying to reclaim her former glory, it's evident the now 34 year old Spears wants to return to a prominence, the likes of which she hasn't experienced since her late 90s genesis; don't lie, "...Baby One More Time" was your jam, too. You wouldn't be entirely wrong to say I hold a certain bias towards modern Britney Spears discography, seeing as "...Baby One More Time" was in fact a childhood favorite of mine, but I genuinely find this album to pale in comparison to Spears' earliest work, and all the nostalgia in the world would not make me deviate from that position.
Lead off single "Make Me" (which features Oakland rapper G-Eazy) is not only the worst track on
Glory, it also gives last year's standalone Iggy Azalea single "Pretty Girls" a run for its money as the worst single of Spears' career. Admittedly, Spears sounds a tad more inspired here than she did on 2013's
Britney Jean, but she still sounds disconnected by miles. G-Eazy's presence creates a bit of saving grace, but the track in the sum of its parts, is forgettable. When I heard it on the radio for the first time, it wasn't until my local radio station's DJ revealed it was the new Britney Spears track. Moreover, "Make Me" is very much in line with the R&B infused pop you hear on mainstream radio here in 2016.
"Private Show" and "Invitation" are just plain annoying. The synths and bass lines coated throughout aren't the problem. The problem is Spears' vocals. Even if they weren't drowned with autotune, I'd still find her vocals as annoying as they are presented this way. "Man on the Moon" is a decent enough track; probably the best on the album. Spears sounds a lot more in control on this track, more so in fact than she has in years. But then "Just Luv Me" comes in as if it were ripped from a Skrillex project and while it's far from terrible, this track too is downright forgettable.
Unlike the title of this album, "Clumsy" is exactly what the title suggests. The synths are sloppy and and the bassline is as annoying as Spears' vocals. "Do You Wanna Come Over" is a solid enough track. Trying to get the album back on track, Spears approaches it with a level of seduction you'd find scrawled all across Justin Bieber's
Purpose. Tracks like "What You Need" and "If I'm Dancing" are sloppy and poor attempts to close out the album on a strong note. Truly an ironically titled album,
Glory closes with little of that to show for it.
I certainly don't blame Britney Spears for attempting to reclaim her place as a pop radio heavyweight. If anything, my 5-year old self is crying on the inside; seeing a childhood favorite make a comeback, however, doesn't come without a certain level of bias that is, in fact, derived from nostalgia. Moreover, I don't think Spears will ever top 1999's
...Baby One More Time. Nevertheless, expect the album to sell well, expect almost every single she releases from
Glory to nearly reach the summit of the Billboard Hot 100. But the summit Spears reached at the turn of the millennium is something I personally don't think the now iconic pop singer is capable of attaining again.
