Album Rating: 3.5

So this is pretty good then?

fuck bro. they's too many o'thum words in this shit, bro. and where the fuck are the fucking breakdowns, bro? i thinks this shit sucks fuckin' ass bro!

so which o'those thar options do ah press now, bro?! oh, the one that says 'Yes'? oki doke, bro. done and done.

................

so what did ah jus' do, bro? oh, i 'pos'd'? kewl. pos'n's fucking kewl, bro!

.....what's a 'pos' again...?

Your vocalist may go “but wait bro, what if I’m such a narcissistic guy that I think people will want to hear more than one me?”. Good thinking! You will also want to layer your vocals in as many unnecessary and brazen methods as possible.

"Lastly, don’t forget to shout “go” or “Come on!” before all of your breakdowns. Bros need guidance, and if you suddenly change on them, they will become terrified and may begin speaking; this would be a disaster. Letting them know when a breakdown is coming lets them prepare themselves for the furious arm swinging and incompetent dancing that must be done out of time to the breakdown."

This is my favorite part of the review. I fucking hate when bands do this.

Lol! I remember you sending me this in its early stages. A lot has been added and the result: one of the most enjoyable reads ever. Great job, BRO- pos.

I have to check this out!

this review slays

and, of course, Emmure do not.

I'm glad this was featured, I missed it! This was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read in the past couple weeks.

Sick review

congrats on the feature jobro

oh my, this is one of the best reviews i've ever seen. love the overuse of words, the alliteration, everything. very nice job man.

Spectacular review bro, congrats on making this Tuesday much more bearable

Pos'd

Consider this verse, created literally at the drop of a penny (or whatever you are holding, ignoring the obvious ones that don’t fall very fast):

Album Rating: 1.5

Thanks everyone! I could not have done this without you, the audience. Unless, of course, you didn't exist, then I probably would have done it anyway.





Just waiting for roflrad to come tell me how wrong I am.

I lol'd.

Oh and come on, why a 1.5? Don't be generous.

Album Rating: 1.5

I reserve 1s for albums I can't even listen to. Albums so badly done, so aurally painful, that I cannot even stomach their very proximity to my ears. Emmure, and very similarly After the Burial, are just bands so painfully mediocre that it's pitiful that they exist. I can, however, listen to them; I'd just prefer greatly not to.

didn't even know this existed, review rules

aoty

Album Rating: 2.0

This is a pretty bad review, its as if you wrote it in advance without listenin to the album cause you already had a negative outlook. Then on top of it gave it a weak score knowing you were gonna hate it in advance. Then had to post it quicktime cause you think your cool and wanna do it before anyone else. This isn't even a proper review and should be taken down. Very biased.

Wholly unexpected.

This looks like every other deathcore review on the site, just in a different style. I hate this band more than possibly any other, but it really isn't that funny. Maybe it's because I like to be blunt, but I'd much rather read blunt, harsh criticisms of this kind of awful music than a big "unique" review. Not going to pos or neg.