Album Rating: 2.0

that guy's actually been here for years

did i miss anything else on my review? Criticism always welcome.

Album Rating: 2.0

nope, pretty solid work Ipod

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VxliVe8LKc

does anyone know where i can get more of these guys?

Suds, that's actually a first for me.

Album Rating: 3.0

OOH WAH AH AH AH



DUN NUH NUH NUH NUH

DUN NUH NUH NUH NUH



OCK OCK





I believe you're missing an "as" in the first sentence. Other than that, good review.

Thanks Emim, I'm kinda hoping that this might push my approval up slightly.

Album Rating: 3.0

Well in that case NEG

Thanks Emim,
noted stop selling your reviews out like a pimp.

Album Rating: 3.0

I've tried.





Doesn't work.

Like they say, no harm in trying, that is... until they NEG the complete shit out of you.

Album Rating: 3.0

People only ever really negged my CTTS review. Man was that a fiasco.

That happened when i chose to review A7X-nightmare, not doing that again.

Album Rating: 2.5

Hey IpodMastery; k to be honest with you there's a lot that needs to be worked on here - so much so that I'm actually not sure where to begin. I'll comment by pointing out the easily amenable errors first; hopefully you'll find the others out for yourself as you keep on reviewing and writing.



So:



i.) Punctuation and general sentence dysfunctionality: ‘beginners metal - apostrophe required. It shows their creative and musical ability, as well as their overall musical style. For most hard rock/metal groups a debut can be make or break for the band, but when the music is these catchy listeners will flock to purchase the next release. - sentence is incomprehensible and is a bit of a run-on.



ii.) Avoid avoid avoid vague, sweeping statements: many will know, a lot of the metal community, etc. It is a flat-out assertion, and leaves me with little to no confidence in your fact checking. When you are making a claim, make sure it is more rigid i.e has more justification than that.



iii.) You have huge problems explaining yourself. Take the opening paragraph for example - it seems barely certain of its purpose and as an introduction it's awkward and verges on repeating itself a little too many times. There must be an easier way to say Disturbed many will know can be used as a stepping stone into the metal or heavy metal genres, it’s a band you can introduce to your ‘metal-less’ friends in order to introduce them to something a little darker and a little heavier. Appropriately Disturbed can be called ‘beginners metal’ and whilst not pushing the genres limits (being safely snuggled against them) of metal there is something in ‘The Sickness’s’ makings that makes it an easy listen. Disturbed’s debut album displays a lot about the band.



The second paragraph isn't so much of a compendium of sentences as it is a motley collection of unrelated phrases. Try to write more smoothly; don't diverge into random comments about cover songs when barely a second ago you were discussing the technical merits of the band.



iv.) Hardly any of the songs are discussed in any detail, and that last "recommended tracks" bit is unnecessary.



-



Sorry if this was harsh, but I hope my point got across. Keep at it, yeah? Cheers.

It's alright Irving i tend to work better on 'harsher' criticism, basically the blunter you put things the more i will improve on it or make an effort to change it. I have actually cut back on explaining the instrumentation of bands in relation to Daveyboy's help, cause i tend to fan out and use my aural/theory training and it goes too far in depth whilst leaving a huge block of writing for the reader to digest (see my Stone Sour-Audio Secrecy review) also i seem to that 'run-on' thing a lot in my reviews.

Album Rating: 2.0

Irving sweeps in like a mofo

Suds, i asked to check over for me. I keep worrying about my review flows.
Just cause he can be overly precise about things. That comment took up a bit of space too.

Album Rating: 2.0

I'm not nearly as good as this thing as Iriving is lol



I personally thought it read just fine

Me too, until you put under the nose of someone who has had a writing course or two. It all helps out in the long run. I'm doing way better than my first couple of reviews.

Album Rating: 2.0

if Irving Irving'd Irving, Irving would write perfect reviews all the time