Review Summary: Get bored
I like noise rock. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it’s quiet. It’s always interesting though. Sometimes it’s minimalist. Repeating the same note over. And over. And over. And sometimes they don’t play the same note twice. I guess it’s like Forrest Gump said: “Mama always said…” I think he was right. Mama did say a lot of things.
”Waiter what’s this feedback doing in my soup?”
“Analyzing the complexity and absurdity of life through noise”
“Bring it back.”
My dad was probably drunk again. He was supposed to pick me up 15 minutes ago, but still no sign. I thought about going to the office to call him, but f
uck it. I’ll just sit here and listen to Fake Train.
Sally White came out of nowhere. Almost gave me a heart attack. 15 year old’s aren’t supposed to have heart attacks. She asked me if I wanted a blow job. I’d never so much as held a girl’s hand. Actually I had in second grade. Betty Crawford. It was for a field trip. We were crossing the street. She spit in her hand and then extended it towards me. Beggars can’t be choosers.
I accepted Sally’s offer repeating my mantra in my head. I found out a couple days later her dad died of cancer. I guess that was her way of dealing with the grief. Sucking guys off underneath the bleachers in the gym. I probably would have gotten high. Or played video games. Or something. I guess that’s what makes us different. I cut myself off, she looks for a connection, no matter how frayed.
I looked in her eyes. She wasn’t pretty but I had a hard on. She looked fragile. I felt powerful. That was probably what did it. She unzipped my pants and pulled out my c
ock. She got this look in her eyes that nearly made me unload on her right then. I got worried. I closed my eyes and started thinking of all the awful things that would make me hold off on coming. I thought about the Holocaust, Apartheid, Jimmy Warren’s disgusting fu
cking boil. I thought about Ms. Warfeld’s disgusting, fu
cking, saggy tits.
I overdid it.
“Is something wrong?”
“Huh.”
“What happened.”
I opened my eyes. She had that look again. I felt guilty. I wanted to call her a whore. I could never call a girl a whore though. Especially one that was nice enough to put my cock in her mouth. I pulled my pants up and ran away. I forgot my CD player. My dad pulled up right as a came outside. He smelled like cigarettes and whiskey. He apologized. I told him to drive home.
The next day Sally approached me in the hallway. I panicked. I figured she was coming to call me out in front of the whole school. I saw my CD player bulging out of her left front pocket.
“I listened to your CD”
“Oh?”
“I think it really help me come to terms with the fact that we’re all gonna die and there’s nothing we can do about it. And that sometimes no matter how much control you think you have, things still won’t go your way.”
“Hmm. I like the guitars.”
“Yeah. Those are nice too.”
That night, I watched a show on TV. It was buddy cop show about two nihilist cops. It was called “Null & Void” because those were their names. Null was real cool, always coming up with one-liners and summing up the situation real well. Void was a little wild. His wife had been murdered by a couple of drug dealers before the show even started. That’s why he didn’t believe in anything, but he didn’t seem to get it like Null did. In the episode I was watching Null & Void were sitting in their squad car near a farm. I think somebody found a body out there, I don’t remember though. They were waiting to hear from the boss so they were just shooting the shit.
Null: Hey, Void, who’s a cow’s favorite philosopher?
Void: Uhhhh, I don’t know Null, who?
Null: Albert Ca-mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(Void starts laughing)
(Void starts laughing too hard)
(Void starts crying)
Null: Hey, hey man what’s the matter?
Void: (sobbing) Marie loved cows.
Null: Oh, yeah, I bet she did.
Void: (sobbing) Why did the Universe take her from me Null?
Null: Goddammit, Void, the Universe doesn’t care about your wife. All the Universe cares about is maintaining a strict order of chaos!
I guess he was right.
