Review Summary: Don't judge a b̶o̶o̶k̶ death metal album by its cover.
I must admit, it was the..."graphic" art that first brought me to this record. To a curious young man wandering around his local record store, this album presented an interesting experiment. I found the $4 price tag to be attractive, so a few minutes and a curious look by the cashier later, I was walking back to my F-150 with Vulvectomy's "Abusing Dismembered Beauties" in hand. Due to the fact that this album was recorded by a band essentially named "Female Genital Mutilation," there were two possible outcomes on my mind as I popped this baby into my stereo system:
a)This album is going to be ridiculously over-the-top, lighthearted, hilarious, and awesome.
b)This album is going to be absurdly awful while taking itself way too seriously, and end up being hilarious by no intention of its creators.
Unfortunately, "Abusing Dismembered Beauties" is none of the above. It's a boring, repetitive, and overall forgettable collection of painfully mediocre tracks. To be completely honest, I would never have expected to describe an album containing songs such as "Deformed Tits Collection," "Split-Thickened Vulvar Skin," and, of course, "Orgasmic Sensation Through Fecal Ingestion" as "boring," but that's really all there is to it. Oh, and if you're wondering, I'm not making that crap up; those are actual song titles.
Other than the album title, cover, and song titles, there's not much that can be said about this record, and that honestly disappoints me a great deal. I was looking forward to at least being interested for its 30 minute duration. However, I honestly found myself zoning out more than a few times, and while that's not a particularly good thing to happen while driving, it's an even worse fate for a "brutal-hard-slam-death-core" (or whatever the hell you wanna call it) album like this one. There's nothing more important to the genre than being shocking or unpredictable, but there's a painstakingly small amount of that to be found here. The instrumentation sounds like that of every other mediocre death metal band in existence, and the vocals fall into the same category. Also, the lyrics are about what you'd expect from a band of this nature, although nobody actually listens to death metal for the lyrics anyways, so that's a bit of a moot point.
Although I truly hate to say it, "Abusing Dismembered Beauties" is just another uninspired, run-of-the-mill "slam" death metal record. It's not engaging whatsoever, and nothing about it separates it from the pack. It just makes you wonder what these fine Italian gentlemen could have created had they spent half the time on the actual music that they did thinking up "SUPER BR00TAL" ideas for their album artwork and song titles. (With that being said, they will never match the true musical genius that is "Post Abortion Slut F***.")
