Emeritus
Reviews 107 Approval 96%
Soundoffs 127 News Articles 30 Band Edits + Tags 62 Album Edits 78
Album Ratings 3493 Objectivity 66%
Last Active 01-12-23 5:14 pm Joined 08-27-12
Review Comments 20,969
| Every Tool Song Ranked
No one talks about this band, so I thought I’d make a list and give them some attention XD but in all seriousness, I felt an urge to rank their songs after jamming Fear Inoculum for the umpteenth time the other day, and finally feeling like I can objectively view it and rank with their previous albums. They’re obviously one of my favorite bands who I’ve been listening to for over half of my life now. Their albums from best to worst for me are Lateralus, Aenima, 10,000 Days, Fear Inoculum, Undertow, Salival, and Opiate. I didn’t bother to rank the short interludes because it’s kind of pointless, and this took long enough to write as is. Drop your own favorite songs in the comment section if you want. | 52 | | Tool Opiate
The Gaping Lotus Experience: The hidden track at the end of Opiate is basically a joke song with humorous lyrics. Barely eligible for this list tbh. All their interludes would be ranked below this, though Harry Manback is also humorous. | 51 | | Tool Undertow
Disgustipated: Also barely eligible for this list, though the skit at the beginning and tribute to Bill Hicks is nice. The sounds of them shooting a piano with a shotgun is also fun to imagine them doing. The last eight minutes of crickets chirping and random recordings are pretty much useless. Basically the real songs in the ranking begin after this. | 50 | | Tool Ænima
H**ker with a P***s: A thrashy, pissed off track with lyrics defying a fan who apparently made the odd claim that the band "sold out," which I assume referred to Undertow, as this is only their second full-length album. No idea what the song title means. Some like this track a lot, and it's perfectly fine for what it is. Hardly a display of the band's songwriting talents though. | 49 | | Tool Fear Inoculum
Chocolate Chip Trip: The most I can say about this is that I've never heard anything like it. Pretty much a waste of a Danny Carey solo, but thankfully Merkaba exists. | 48 | | Tool Opiate
Sweat: An okay hard rock song that sees the band at their most straightforward. | 47 | | Tool Salival
Maynard's D*ck: The band's best joke song that's actually pleasant to listen to. Was probably a fun recording session. | 46 | | Tool Opiate
Part of Me: Don’t feel too strongly about this one, totally acceptable early Tool. One of their shortest and to the point. Very proto-Undertow. | 45 | | Tool Opiate
Hush: I believe this is their most well-known pre-Undertow song, lyrically a spirited middle finger to Tipper Gore and censorship. | 44 | | Tool Undertow
Bottom: My least favorite off Undertow, but it does have its strengths. There’s some nice guitar work in the second half, but overall one of their weakest. | 43 | | Tool Opiate
Jerk-Off: A highly energetic track with one of Maynard's most ferocious vocal performances, this is one of the better tracks off the Opiate EP. | 42 | | Tool Undertow
Swamp Song: This one also has some nice instrumental sections, but nothing particularly special and I’m not crazy about the chorus. | 41 | | Tool Opiate
Opiate: Opiate shows a more evolved side of the band that wouldn’t sound out of place on Undertow or even Aenima. There are some nice bass harmonics as well that foreshadows how integral that instrument would be to their overall sound going forward. The best pre-Undertow song, though Cold and Ugly is slightly higher for me due to nostalgia with having covered it live. | 40 | | Tool Undertow
Crawl Away: I used to really like this song, but the songs afterwards in the track listing are just better. But there’s still a lot to enjoy here, especially the fantastic and driving second half. | 39 | | Tool Undertow
Prison S**: One of the most popular early songs despite the bleakness, having more of an alt. rock sound. There’s plenty of variety and riffage going on to make it great, but there’s still even better just on Undertow. | 38 | | Tool Opiate
Cold and Ugly: Rock solid early Tool song. I love the whole instrumental section in the middle, being likely the most complex bass line I’ve played in front of others at a concert setting. Learning this song alone took my playing to another level, and it’s just a blast to play. | 37 | | Tool Salival
Merkaba: This is mainly notable for being a fantastic drum solo from Danny Carey, and not a whole lot else. The whole Salival live album has gems like this throughout, including an amazing live version of Pushit. Perhaps a precursor to Chocolate Chip Trip from Fear Inoculum. | 36 | | Tool Undertow
Intolerance: The opener of Undertow comes right out of the gate with an excellent balance of heaviness and technical playing from all the instrumentalists. An almost too long build-up leads to a tasty guitar groove that’s an album highlight. Easily one of the band’s best shorter tracks. | 35 | | Tool Undertow
4°: One of the more progressive songs on the album, this showcases their compositional abilities early on with a longer run time and a rare guitar solo from Adam that sounds more traditionally “rock” than a lot of the later ones. | 34 | | Tool Undertow
Flood: Like Bottom, this has a too long build-up but the second half is a glorious pay off of proto-Aenima guitar work and fantastic vocals from Maynard. | 33 | | Tool Salival
No Quarter: A truly daring Led Zeppelin cover that largely alters the original for a hypnotizing result and classic Tool jamming. It practically sounds like a different song really. | 32 | | Tool Undertow
Sober: One of the most popular Tool songs is also a highlight of their early career, with a fantastic chorus driven by Maynard's emotive performance. This goes to show that Tool are just as adept at mainstream sounding songs as they are progressive epics. | 31 | | Tool Undertow
Undertow: The best track on the album, I had a blast learning this on guitar and playing with my friend on drums when we were younger. This is really Adam Jones’s show, with riffing and playing notes all over the neck. Time signature changes also give it a real push-and-pull effect, which makes sense given the title. | 30 | | Tool Salival
You Lied: Another cover that they really turn into their own, sounding truly like psychedelic metal. This is essentially an excuse to transform an existing piece of music into something that sounds uniquely like Tool, and foreshadows their later excursions into longer and more complex pieces. | 29 | | Tool Lateralus
Triad: The first track of their best album on the list. Triad is a highly enjoyable heavy rock instrumental that jams its way through the run time and acts as a nice coda to what came before. The more up tempo, straightforward nature almost makes it sound like a throwback to their early work. | 28 | | Tool Fear Inoculum
Culling Voices: The worst “real” song on Fear Inoculum isn’t bad at all, with a nice long, calm build-up lasting six minutes which leads to a not so remarkable second half of heavy metal that I can’t help but feel could have been a bit more special. | 27 | | Tool 10,000 Days
Right in Two: Very fun to play on guitar and bass, especially with those harmonics. This track tackles the evolution of man and is highly adventurous from a songwriting standpoint. The best parts are the intro and extended tabla solo in the middle. Maynard says monkey too much though. | 26 | | Tool Fear Inoculum
Fear Inoculum: This was a big deal, being their first new song in 13 years. However, I feel that as strong as it is, essentially acts as a reintroduction of their sound with multiple sections almost reaching self-plagiarism levels of familiarity. I was happier with the following three songs in the track list that sounded a bit more fresh. | 25 | | Tool Ænima
Intermission/Jimmy: A haunting song, with Maynard sounding odd and using some highly impressive vocal techniques throughout. This is really his show, and Justin Chancellor’s. | 24 | | Tool 10,000 Days
Intension: A highly underrated and gorgeous song that leads into Right in Two. I just love the ethereal guitar and bass lines that create a stunning atmosphere throughout, and the glitchy drums is a very nice touch. | 23 | | Tool Lateralus
Ticks & Leeches: This one is a real trip. While famous for Danny Carey’s time in the spotlight with his fantastic playing and Maynard’s passionate and full on metal vocal performance, needing weeks to recover his voice after the recording session apparently, it also boasts a very long, quiet build-up that makes the climax even more impactful when it happens. Pretty much the last time in their career we’d hear this kind of heaviness from the band, as they go more artsy and meditative in the future. | 22 | | Tool Lateralus
The Patient: A perfectly good Lateralus track with particularly strong guitar leads from Adam Jones. It doesn’t have quite the same power as the album highlights, but lives up to them nonetheless. | 21 | | Tool Ænima
Eulogy: A more straightforward heavy song on Aenima, but the long, quirky intro is an album highlight. The last minute especially has some brain melting guitar work from Adam Jones, and Maynard sounds great throughout. | 20 | | Tool Fear Inoculum
Pneuma: One of their proggiest tracks to date, this one unfolds patiently but rewards with stunning bass leads and a beautiful, lengthy instrumental section with what sounds like tabla drumming and a droney guitar solo. | 19 | | Tool Ænima
Ænema: Hilarious lyrics about California sinking into the ocean and a scorching condemnation of the shallowness and self-centered Los Angeles culture. The chorus is a classic Tool moment, and Adam Jones is once again the centerpiece with killer playing up and down the neck. | 18 | | Tool 10,000 Days
Jambi: Mind-bending bass effects are the centerpiece in this song about what seems like a pilgrim’s fateful encounter with a genie in a distant land. Despite some of the dreamy sections, there’s also a noticeable Meshuggah influence in the main guitar riff, with that mix lending a very unique flavor to the whole song. | 17 | | Tool Ænima
Stinkfist: One of the highlights of Aenima, this introduced the world to the beginning of Tool’s greatness, condensing so much of their strengths into a relatively short run time. The bridge section is truly wonderful and transcendent. | 16 | | Tool 10,000 Days
Vicarious: Another one of their most progressive songs, this kicks off the centerpiece on guitar work that 10,000 Days was for the band. They were always incredible, but Adam and Justin get even more technical here and intertwine their melodies for an enchanting intro. The whole song proceeds like vintage Tool, but in a new way somehow. Amazing music video as well. | 15 | | Tool Fear Inoculum
Invincible: It may seem strange to score this so high, but it’s just such a classic sounding Tool song in a new album that really spoke to me. The last few minutes also ties the whole thing together, being a band highlight. The lyrics are empowering and could be interpreted in many different ways. | 14 | | Tool Ænima
Pushit: This place in the ranking is an average with the live version, which would be in the top 10. The studio version would be around 20th for me. Both versions are an absolutely transcendent piece of art, with all elements of their sound coalescing into a beautiful climax that’s truly hypnotic. | 13 | | Tool 10,000 Days
The Pot: This brings back that old school Tool rebellion, with defensive lyrics and a strong instrumental groove and low key technical drumming by Carey, making it sound effortless. The bass though is truly the lead here, anchoring the whole song and being a blast to play as well. | 12 | | Tool Fear Inoculum
Descending: One of the only songs on the new one that lives up to the greatest Tool has to offer, Descending is a behemoth of a track that goes through so many different moods and energies it’s stunning. The band’s best qualities are on display here. | 11 | | Tool Ænima
H.: Perhaps the most surprising placement, I’ve always loved this underrated song from Aenima. The last third is the band at their most emotive up to this point, with an ascending feeling that reminds me of A Perfect Circle. Another short track where they pack every minute with greatness and sonic variety. | 10 | | Tool 10,000 Days
Lost Keys/Rosetta Stoned: We have entered the top 10! Naysayers might dismiss Rosetta Stoned as a joke song given the rapid-fire first verse of Maynard emulating an alien abductee on LSD, but at the minute and thirty second mark this begins a descent into a full on jam session of progressive metal goodness and amazing guitar work. The instrumentalists seemingly push themselves to the limit, and it should not come as a surprise that it’s even more impressive when you try to play it yourself and realize just how technical it really is. | 9 | | Tool Lateralus
Parabol/Parabola: A classic, with one of the greatest transitions from an intro to the amazing main riff of any rock band (meaning Parabol into Parabola). Parabola is one of the greatest Tool songs for numerous reasons, with one of the most recognizable progressive metal guitar lines and out-of-body spiritual transcendence as the lyrical theme. The guitars are truly adventurous here, being Adam Jones’s show to blow away listeners. | 8 | | Tool Lateralus
The Grudge: The perfect marriage of early Tool with the evolution of their sound in Lateralus, The Grudge is a real face melter. It opens the album by laying out the greatness that will be in store with an incredible composition, perfect guitar and bass interplay, psychedelic effects, and a mind-blowing vocal performance by Maynard. | 7 | | Tool Fear Inoculum
7empest: I can’t think of more of a treat that Fear Inoculum had in store than a 15+ minute progressive metal odyssey of endless guitar riffing and incredible instrumental virtuosity. There are enough ideas packed into this monster for a dozen songs, but they somehow weaved them all together for a veritable cornucopia of Tool indulgence that couldn’t have turned out better. The intro and outro channel Discipline by King Crimson and classic Tool polyrhythms as well. I can’t get enough of 7empest, and it was a well-deserved Grammy win. | 6 | | Tool Lateralus
Schism: Mainstream Tool doesn’t get better than this. It’s not easy to write a perfect song, but Tool did it several times including with Schism. I can’t believe how technical this is with the time signature changes while sounding as assessable as it does. Danny shines with his otherworldly drumming skills, and Maynard delivers cryptic lyrics and impassioned singing while the guitar and bass sound like they’re in the astral plane. It may sound silly, but I don’t know how else to describe it. The bridge section in particular is blissful perfection. The pieces truly fit on this one. | 5 | | Tool Ænima
Forty Six & 2: A powerhouse track that proves you don’t need drugs to get high. This is a good candidate for their best bass line, which is saying quite a lot. This has a special place in my heart and just remember how inspired I felt listening to it and feeling the power of the music going through me at a young age. A journey for the soul. | 4 | | Tool Ænima
Third Eye: I always felt like this didn’t get as much love as it should. Adam Jones’s guitar tone is out of this world, and his solo at the end is one of the best sections of music Tool ever wrote. This epic has so many amazing qualities, and foreshadowed the ambition of the following album and how they would evolve further. | 3 | | Tool Lateralus
Lateralus: This is often called the greatest Tool song, and I can’t disagree. In a lot of ways, it is their flagship song. Progressive, emotive, amazingly written, I can’t quite believe this and the next two were written by humans and not aliens or higher beings. The guitar intro is nothing short of iconic, and the whole thing feels like a spiritual journey. Ride the spiral. | 2 | | Tool 10,000 Days
Wings for Marie: I’m still affected by the emotional resonance of Wings for Marie. I’m not entirely sure what the point of part 1 is, and this placement is mainly for 10,000 Days (part 2). The subject matter is heartbreaking but ultimately hopeful, with Maynard sounding vulnerable but in a state of peace and acceptance by the end with coming to terms with his mother’s death. It’s a truly powerful composition with ethereal, moody guitar and bass lines setting the mood, before eventually transitioning into gorgeous art rock where everyone gets to shine respectively and deliver some of their best work of the band’s career. As I’ve said about many of their songs, this is ridiculously fun to play on bass. All the band’s best qualities are on display here, being a watershed moment for them in my opinion. | 1 | | Tool Lateralus
Disposition/Reflection: At times, I would say this is my all-time favorite song. It’s truly magical to me, with an enveloping atmosphere and unlike anything else I’ve heard in my life. I don’t think words can really do it justice though. Reflection is a singular experience for each listener, and when listened to at the right time is a religious experience. I really felt like I left my body for a moment at times, no exaggeration. Reflection is nothing short of a masterpiece, and it’s one of the reasons why I love music and embodies how much this art form can make a person feel and touch their soul. I know it’s easy to dismiss them for how popular they’ve become and how obnoxious their fans can be with praising them to no end, but I think this band has an incredible gift and they’re without a doubt one of the most important aspects of my musical life. | |
aydross121
10.04.21 | Damn great write-up, must have taken a while. The top 10 is pretty much all good. | BaselineOOO
10.04.21 | An objectively correct top 4. Those songs are also my favorites, in the same order too.
| Koris
10.04.21 | Awesome list, obviously you put a lot of effort into this. I also agree with a lot of the top choices, though personally I would have placed The Patient much higher | nightbringer
10.04.21 | 1 is a solid pick, yeah. | HooperD87
10.04.21 | I've honestly always thought that Lateralus the song is overrated. Can't argue too much with number 1 but Pushit takes that spot for me. Bottom is also ranked way too low IMO. Good list overall | Egarran
10.04.21 | Pretty much agree with everything, so
amazing stuff here. | JKing92
10.04.21 | Not sure I'd put "Disposition" and "Reflection" as number one, personally, but I do agree that they are among the best songs on that album. I'd probably put "Forty Six & 2" as number one, if I were doing this list. | benkim
10.04.21 | Already got annoyed at seeing Hooker with a Penis so low. In the context of the album, it personifies what I love about early Tool albums. I still love it as a standalone song though! | TalonsOfFire
10.04.21 | Thanks for reading = ]
None of the songs at the bottom of my list are bad or anything. I used to dismiss Rosetta Stoned until I listened more closely and saw the light. | wojodta
10.04.21 | Third Eye Salival > Third Eye Aenima
Hard to argue with the top 10, but I'd probably have Aenema in mine. | TalonsOfFire
10.04.21 | I think it’d be pretty hard for any Tool fan to argue with some order of my top 10 with Aenema and Pushit in there instead of Rosetta Stoned and 7empest. The live version of Pushit would be in my top 10. | JDubb
10.04.21 | Excellent list. Regarding your description on 1, I similarly had a minor OBE at the end of Lateralus. Caught myself b4 it could go too far. Thought it was the whole album -but perhaps you’re right that it’s just one song. | Aberf
10.04.21 | 14 is prob my 1 | Titan
10.04.21 | Wings may very well be my favorite | chemicalmarriage
10.05.21 | 1 is 1, tho triad should be included imo as the third piece to this sequence of songs | Brabiz
10.05.21 | Prison S** | Egarran
10.05.21 | ~You're the only one who can hold your head up high
Shake your fist at the gates saying
"I've come home now!"
Fetch me the Spirit, the Son, and the Father
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended
It's time now
My time now
Give me my
Give me my wings!~
Such a chilling part. | twlight
10.05.21 | awesome list, love your top 10 choices. hopefully you can catch them live on the 2022 tour they recently announced | TalonsOfFire
10.05.21 | Wings is transcendent yea, off and on its my favorite.
I know Triad is supposed to be the third part of Disposition and Reflection, but those two really go together musically, while Triad is different sounding enough that I thought it can be judged as its own song.
I’d love to see them on the tour, they only come to Boston every like 5 years so I really shouldn’t miss this one! | ashcrash9
10.05.21 | I've only really ever loved the stretch of Aenima, Lateralus, and 10,000 Days, and funny enough the title tracks of each of those would probably be my top 3, but Disposition and Reflection are a great underdog choice. Nice list dude | TalonsOfFire
10.05.21 | Thanks Ash, and those are my 3 favorite albums from them too | DominionMM1
10.05.21 | i find the live version of pushit a bit underwhelming. the recording doesn’t do it justice.
cool list for sure though | neekafat
10.05.21 | Schism is best tbh but yeah, love the effort put into this (: | evilford
10.05.21 | Nice writeup, even tho I disagree with many placements.
Pushit is my #1 | evilford
10.05.21 | But props for high placement of Rosetta stoned. | Hyperion1001
10.05.21 | that one song with the cool music video is cool | TalonsOfFire
10.06.21 | Yeah lots of great music videos | twlight
10.06.21 | Parabol/Parabola might just be my favorite from them. Also love Vicarious and The Grudge | YoYoMancuso
10.06.21 | Can never decide between Reflection and Pushit for my #1 spot. Great list overall but Prison Sex is way too low | Aerisavion
10.06.21 | Fucking awesome write up, bud. | BaselineOOO
10.06.21 | Benjamin Kuettel for staff | TalonsOfFire
10.06.21 | haha thanks! | Jasdevi087
10.07.21 | this is a pretty rubbish ranking and i am being honest and it is in my opinion | Koris
10.07.21 | “ this is a pretty rubbish ranking and i am being honest and it is in my opinion”
lol lmao imo tbh smh on god 😂😂😂🥰 | artiswar
10.07.21 | Acceptable list but The Pot is too high and Right In Two sucks | Egarran
10.07.21 | Ironic | MO
10.08.21 | Yes 1 is 1 very nice | Dewinged
10.08.21 | Good stuff Talons, my #1 would probably be Third Eye or Pushit (that live version is amazing, agreed). | virpi
10.08.21 | Well written, I mostly agree. Happy to see so many FI songs high up the list. I also think that "Descending" and "7empest" are the best from this album. | twlight
10.08.21 | FI is such a great fucking album. | twlight
10.08.21 | "Acceptable list but The Pot is too high and Right In Two sucks"
.. well that's just your opinion man
| Koris
10.08.21 | If anything, Right in Two is too low imo :] | twlight
10.08.21 | seriously, RIT is a jam, one of the best songs off 10k days | twlight
10.08.21 | love that Wings is at #2, epic tune... although i wouldn't personally put it that high | twlight
10.08.21 | Fear Inoculum as a tune is probably in my top 8 | TalonsOfFire
10.08.21 | Yeah FI deserves more love, it’s a massive achievement. Probably expecting too much but I would love a follow-up, or at least for Adam, Justin, and Danny to keep making music in some way, if Maynard’s stuck at the winery from now on. | YoYoMancuso
10.08.21 | I need Danny Carey drum performances more than oxygen | TalonsOfFire
10.10.21 | I know right? He's my favorite drummer, or at least in the top 5. | anode
10.12.21 | 7empest won a grammy? i despise that song so of course it did. "here we go again" go fuck yourself maynard | evilford
10.12.21 | Lol | BaselineOOO
10.12.21 | "Here we go again" is like Eminem's "Guess who's back", I mean so fking cringe for a band of their stature, no wonder they got that grammy. Admittedly, Maynard drinks alcohol derived from fermented grapes, I mean it's technically my fault for taking the man seriously. Imagine still putting the trashiest drug in the world in your blood at his age. | Egarran
10.12.21 | Oh base you are such a tempestuous dude. | TalonsOfFire
10.12.21 | lol, yea I wish the lyrics were different in that first verse, but 7empest is incredible from an instrumental perspective, especially Adam Jones. | DDDeftoneDDD
10.12.21 | Vnice | MiloRuggles
10.15.21 | Nice work bucko, even if I disagree with many placements.
Third Eye Salival > Third Eye Aenima [2]
I just don't understand what people see in 7empest. It's like a B-grade Undertow track that lasts for 20 minutes where Maynard sings about admittedly the best flavour of ice cream. Weird stuff | Egarran
10.15.21 | Reading entry 7 should clear it up. | MiloRuggles
10.15.21 | It ain't workin', Doc | DDDeftoneDDD
10.17.21 | Should change your name for BallsOfFire | Confessed2005
10.17.21 | Awesome list. I agree with a lot of the placements too. | TalonsOfFire
10.17.21 | Thanks! After finishing the list, I felt like my top 10, in varying orders, is pretty representative of most Tool fans (unless they really loved Undertow and Opiate), except Pushit and Aenema instead of Rosetta Stoned and 7empest maybe. |
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