Storm In A Teacup
06.30.23 | Give it your best shot! š
'Johnny should be thankful potsy is here on sputnik so he isn't the most Donald Trump-like user with his rambling wall disguised as humour insults.' |
DadKungFu
06.30.23 | Seems rude tbh |
Storm In A Teacup
06.30.23 | Oh brother. Johnny is a fair sport and will either find fun here if some people provide good content or he will just verbally eviscerate me and I am typically not smart enough for a better comeback. |
cold
06.30.23 | he made sput wack |
Ectier
06.30.23 | Bit of a shit stirrer but overall pretty swell dude from my interactions. Knows his shit and can construct some fairly good counterpoints to stuff. Maybe im being too wholesome for this thread. Good luck storm |
Storm In A Teacup
06.30.23 | Luck is not my thing. |
Storm In A Teacup
06.30.23 | But thank you anway |
bighubbabuddha
06.30.23 | Who's Johnny? the ultimate insult |
Ectier
06.30.23 | Alright then dont break the teacup then! Would be a waste of a storm and a teacup |
ToSmokMuzyki
06.30.23 | fuck johnny insult me instead |
Ectier
06.30.23 | You are a lovely human bean |
ToSmokMuzyki
06.30.23 | damn you |
Ectier
06.30.23 | Wait shit uhhhh You are smelly and suck donkey cock. That better |
ToSmokMuzyki
06.30.23 | very good. carry on |
Ectier
06.30.23 | Have a shit day corpse fucker!
(Hope its good tho and you are well) |
AsleepInTheBack
06.30.23 | Johnny be the typa dude who looks both ways before crossing the road. |
Pikazilla
06.30.23 | johnny is the best sput staffer rn |
DadKungFu
06.30.23 | I heard Johnny oversteeps his tea and has edited the wikipedia page for Kestrel lager |
fogza
06.30.23 | Johnny has a weak fretting hand |
Demon of the Fall
06.30.23 | is this like when you take the piss because you secretly fancy someone? |
DadKungFu
06.30.23 | Strong suspicions |
evilford
06.30.23 | I would never |
Pheromone
06.30.23 | love johnny love him 2 bits |
FrozenFirebug
06.30.23 | i refuse
but i will state (factually) that the ambient techno album he just reviewed with the anime people on the cover has horrific earpiercing pitches haphazardly thrown into every single track, and if any human being can tolerate that, let alone like it, their ears most likely do not function on a fundamental level |
AnimalForce1
06.30.23 | I got no insults besides the fact that he made me feel horribly insecure about some of my music tastes |
Ryus
06.30.23 | everyone rags on everyone here donātlet it get to ya m8 |
AnimalForce1
06.30.23 | I got over it pretty quickly, don't worry. But man, it's a weird feeling when an album you enjoy gets utterly savaged by everyone else |
Ryus
06.30.23 | thats the fun part when you call everyone idiots for not getting it |
robertsona
06.30.23 | Johnny canāt dunk canāt even touch the rim. |
AnimalForce1
06.30.23 | Johnny isn't balling |
pizzamachine
06.30.23 | I bet Johnny canāt tie his shoes without insulting someoneās music taste first lols |
ffs
06.30.23 | johnny is a flesh automaton animated by neurotransmitters |
Storm In A Teacup
06.30.23 | I love that people even are having fun with this |
budgie
06.30.23 | johnny uses chopsticks with his toes |
Colton
06.30.23 | johnny is a carrot armed geek trying to assert virtual dominance over the easiest possible targets to compensate for a perpetual identity crisis and pass off a very typical overly online boomer sadboi music taste as an impenetrable wall of idiosyncratic musings via thesaurus and a hentai addiction as a nuanced and elaborate appreciation of foreign cultures |
Flugmorph
06.30.23 | johnny is a good boi and i love him dearly |
MoM
06.30.23 | Re: Coltonās comment
feels personal. This is when the roast gets all quiet and we all stare at our plates and hold our respective partnerās hands sweatily |
Ryus
06.30.23 | lmao |
Colton
06.30.23 | his apartment, car and soul all smell like fermenting rice and damp oversized hawaiian t-shirts |
Colton
06.30.23 | listen i'm just doing what the thread told me to do this is 100% on storm |
Flugmorph
06.30.23 | kinda based |
MoM
06.30.23 | Nah, personal responsibility, etcetc
But Hawaiian shirts? Doesnāt feel right, like a couple other things in there. Might as well say heās a big purple chicken nugget named Grimace |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | ffs absolutely wrecked jotw no one else need apply |
BaselineOOO
06.30.23 | Now how can I insult my secret crush? Stupid thread |
budgie
06.30.23 | coltons posts are half the reason i even come to this site dont shame him into silence |
MoM
06.30.23 | Hey, accuracy can be improved! |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | Theyāre really good like 70% of the time. Other 30% is a bit embarrassing but if thatās your kink i 8nt gonna shame ya |
Egarran
06.30.23 | It's normal for a genius to have psychopathic tendencies. |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success |
Colton
06.30.23 | budgie best user fr. and hellojoe (aka 2021 normaloctagon) |
MoM
06.30.23 | ā The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by successā
And bodies |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | I miss the 2021 version of the site too colton, and i donāt think Iāll ever forgive you for taking that away from us |
pizzamachine
06.30.23 | Word in the street is Johnnyās mom gives good head |
budgie
06.30.23 | kinda sorta reminds me of julius caesar (ciarin hinds) in hbo rome saying
it is only hubris if i fail!
what a great gd show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ire8ZsR03Oo it's on utub 2 enjoy |
el_newg
06.30.23 | thread is just gonna inflate his ego even more which is the last thing we need |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Johnny is awesome, kick rocks giga-bozo |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | not sure what the site's history with the term bozo is but i'm so here for its (re)emergence |
YoYoMancuso
06.30.23 | "Have a shit day corpse fucker!"
lmfao |
MoM
06.30.23 | Bozo and jabroni and wastoid |
izakaya
06.30.23 | I heard Johnny and Colton had an armwrestle once and they were deadlocked, just staring each other out for hours |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | Those are great too mom but bozo just has this direct quality to it that balances seriousness with cartoon-like humor so well. Reminds me of the word ādoltā |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | I think Colton resurrected ābozoā tbh, at least heās the first person I saw using it regularly |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | a path toward redemption, perhaps
now if only we could get everyone's avatars back......... |
MoM
06.30.23 | @norm
True, but just adding to the list of words we have at our disposal. Like jerkwad or freakazoid |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | hahahaha jerkwad makes me laugh. thank you |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | He also dubbed it āthe B wordā which is equally hilarious imo |
pizzamachine
06.30.23 | Truly bamboozling jabber! heart |
Tundra
06.30.23 | is johnny gay or trans why saying 'honey' all the time? |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | Bruh you did not just say that
Thread is called insult Johnny not be an insufferable transphobe |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | And donāt think i didnāt see that edit. Adding āgayā will not save you. Fucking asshole |
robertsona
06.30.23 | Johnny thinks across the spider-verse is the 8th best movie ever released |
Pheromone
06.30.23 | based norma
|
robertsona
06.30.23 | spit these sweet trip bars dedicated it to Johnny. felt like he needed these. itās also in the sweet trip thread https://www.dropbox.com/s/mreevh8qqnrnws1/670%20W%20193rd%20St%2025.m4a?dl=0 |
DadKungFu
06.30.23 | I heard Johnny hasnāt pushed back his cuticles in a fortnight |
JohnnyoftheWell
06.30.23 | I CUT A TOE CUTICLE LAST NIGHT don't ever forget your nail clippers kids and dads, going raw is NO SUBSTITUTE
will admit to having a big hawaiian shirt phase aged 15-18 and also to being insufferably straight yet also massively averse to idiot homo/transphobia and square engendered language, but also probably culturally appropriative in how much i leech off queer sass (literally why wouldn't you)
but um more importantly when is Drifter gonna show up and burn my face for not writing his Bizzy Bone review ugh gimme that karma love all of you except tundra and budg and that other guy, love AnimalForce1 there is nothing wrong with strong homegrown cornfields and 2D power, scared to hear them fucking bars time for more wine i have sunstroke maybe losing transmitters definit |
widowslaugh123
06.30.23 | Johnny has a nice ass |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Shut the fuck up tundra you brain dead meat knuckle |
Colton
06.30.23 | i donāt see what being gay or trans has to do with being a scottish british japanese grandmother from kentucky |
Feather
06.30.23 | Any time I check the "My Discussions" tab and see that Johnny has commented on the tread, I already know that there is a 95% chance his comment will be pissing on whatever take/opinion I had and I respect that consistency. |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Change this to the insult tundra thread thanks |
Tundra
06.30.23 | would a transphobe like Vylet Pony tho? |
MoM
06.30.23 | ā is johnny gay or trans why saying 'honey' all the time?ā
Whyāre you trying to make honey gay? |
FrozenFirebug
06.30.23 | johnny writes like the text you see when you scroll through your phone while fever dreaming |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Tundra just whipped out the musical equivalent of āIām not a transphobe, I have a trans friendā lmao |
TheSpaceMan
06.30.23 | ur moms gay |
Supercoolguy64
06.30.23 | Johnny moved to japan because he likes anime |
Drifter
06.30.23 | johnny i would shame you but iām really just done with you. thereās nothing you could do to win my heart back. youāre a liar and a coward a fraud and a snake. you promised me a promise and then you didnāt keep that promise. please shut down your program. you bitch you |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | Bizzy bone more like bizzy done |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Some of yāall have no loyalty |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Big homie Jon Jon stay strong |
Tundra
06.30.23 | all I've ever known is female people or gay people saying 'honey', sorry |
Havey
06.30.23 | insulting jonny is cliche now, i already killed his 5s years ago... these days i'm more interested in cheering on staff when they do something cool (rare) like checking pole |
pizzamachine
06.30.23 | Johnny wears his cap really nerdy like |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | The average johnny review reads like the Rick and Morty copypasta complete with the same level of verbosity |
JohnnyoftheWell
06.30.23 | given that Rick and Morty copypasta is the sole point of contact you seem to have with the english language beyond wrestling commentary, BFMV lyrics, and discourse with a fabled collective of people with even worse takes than the average sput user, i will chalk that up as a positive influence
+ let's all love pole |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | It just reads as super super self indulgent. It's like we get it you regularly look at a thesaurus. |
Purpl3Spartan
06.30.23 | It really doesnāt lol |
robertsona
06.30.23 | Johnny did you see that Saya Gray said āi love nightmare songā about my positively haunting demo, ānightmare songā (2023) |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | It reminds me of my days in 2018 when I was trying to break in as a "legitimate" and "credible" writer by looking up every unique word in the book to make me sound smart. It burnt me out quick and most people saw through it anyway. |
Havey
06.30.23 | venin give us some examples, i want to learn some new words |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | That I the Mask review everyone dogged on back in the day lol. I was trying to write as if I had the most authentic take but people saw through it. |
JohnnyoftheWell
06.30.23 | WHAT DID SAYA SAY have been off discord omg she is inspiration
necessary 5 pages worth of pasta reminder for the "can venin parse in her native language" debate: https://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=86973&page=60#comments
bad thesaurus usage is bad and bad writing is bad. was asked about this in gnocchi's interview series, pull a ctrl+f and direct ur reading comp there for further qs https://www.sputnikmusic.com/blog/2023/04/29/staff-deep-dive-how-to-review-music-w-johnny/ |
Colton
06.30.23 | oh god he's parseposting again |
JohnnyoftheWell
06.30.23 | it is a righteous parse and that chunk of thread was perhaps the most brutal self-own i had seen this year until tundra stepped into this thread |
Ryus
06.30.23 | dont make me relive that |
robertsona
06.30.23 | I sent her a demo like a week ago and she said she loved it thatās all. āI love nightmare songā. And then I said something and she said āLolā āriding a bikeā |
Havey
06.30.23 | I've been meaning to get around to listening to Jon Moxley's memoir. |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | is it really a self-own or just open admission that I might potentially have some form of ADD/ADHD and have trouble focusing on one thing at once for hours? especially since i have people that need me at any given minute, it gives me little time to even try to focus on a book all the way through, and many of the ones i've tried have been terrible.
everyone on that thread made me feel like I was in high school again, having "forgotten" my English homework etc. it was insane.
it was a bad idea for me to go thesaurus-diving, you're right. that's why i write like I normally would now without worrying about a self-indulgent sense of "formality." it makes you look like a pseudo-intellectual. |
Egarran
06.30.23 | You're brave, venin, putting your ass in whipping height like that. |
Ryus
06.30.23 | "is it really a self-own or just open admission that I might potentially have some form of ADD/ADHD and have trouble focusing on one thing at once for hours? especially since i have people that need me at any given minute, it gives me little time to even try to focus on a book all the way through, and many of the ones i've tried have been terrible."
you do not have to read a book in multiple-hour chunks. when i was getting back into reading i had trouble focusing for long stretches of time but it's like a muscle that atrophies. granted if you do have a disability like ADHD i imagine that changes things but there's still no reason why you can't enjoy a book if you do enjoy reading. there are few things as beautiful in life as a good book and i think everybody can appreciate literature on some level |
ToSmokMuzyki
06.30.23 | who the FUCK broke the page |
ToSmokMuzyki
06.30.23 | i got into books by reading 20 pgs at a time |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | @ryus: i feel like in all honesty i just havent found the right cuts. autobiographies / non-fiction / occasional realistic-fiction tend to be what I've liked most in recollection, but it's been years. |
Havey
06.30.23 | books are boring yeah just read poetry ffs |
YoYoMancuso
06.30.23 | i love how people assume johnny's distinct writing voice is the result of trying to seem smart by including a bunch of big words. he could use zero big words in a review and you'd still recognize that he wrote it, that's why he's staff |
Pikazilla
06.30.23 | yoyo people are upset because they don't have the reading comprehension skills to understand what johnny actually writes
leave them be |
Ryus
06.30.23 | "books are boring yeah just read poetry ffs"
walt whitman is my homie fr. i got the completed works. lovely stuff |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Not pika pretending he understands johnnys deepest cut stream of consciousness giga-parses šš |
normaloctagon
06.30.23 | lmao
also honestly yoyo hit it |
Ryus
06.30.23 | nobody understands thats why its good
his reviews are usually parse-able though. it's the off-the-cuff comments that are abstruse |
Pikazilla
06.30.23 | I giga-parse myself every time before going on this godforsaken website |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Johnnys a good writer but sometimes heās literally just spitballing abstract thought fragments which is also fun |
Pikazilla
06.30.23 | abstract spitballing creates room for loose construal and that's what makes it fun and engaging |
nol
06.30.23 | Johnny has goop brain |
Pikazilla
06.30.23 | nah he ain't a stoner |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | P A R S E |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | I also agree with yo-yo, I donāt find johnnys vocab forced at all, he just be like that |
Kompys2000
06.30.23 | Every day I wake up and remember that 54% of American adults cannot read above a sixth grade level |
YoYoMancuso
06.30.23 | yeah i feel like every staff member has their niche and johnny's is certainly parsing |
YoYoMancuso
06.30.23 | Komp idk why i thought you lived in Europe |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | ā abstract spitballing creates room for loose construal and that's what makes it fun and engagingā
I agree, but I also am not going to pretend that I have a deep comprehensive grasp of something that leaves a vast canyon for interpretation |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | I have a irl friend that Johnny reminds me of. Super smart guy. Extremely literate. Drug dealer. Instead of a weed pen he smokes a dmt vape all day every day. He comes over and says things at me sometimes, almost as if he is dreaming. They sound smart despite the fact that he expects me to read his mind to figure out the footnotes. so I smile and nod. Or go hide in my room |
nol
06.30.23 | āDrug Dealer.ā
lmao |
nol
06.30.23 | I canāt imagine doing DMT on a daily basis that is not the most intelligent move |
dannooo28
06.30.23 | how the fuck can one even do that |
MoM
06.30.23 | How do you vape dmt? That sounds very interesting |
Kompys2000
06.30.23 | I've heard its weak af compared to smoking it but idk not finding out for myself either way |
nol
06.30.23 | still very illadvised either way |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Yeah itās a lot more mild but I mean he does it literally all day every day cannot be good for your psyche lmao |
Ryus
06.30.23 | "Every day I wake up and remember that 54% of American adults cannot read above a sixth grade level"
same lmao extremely depressing fact |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | What is johnnys favourite herb guys |
MoM
06.30.23 | Mucus |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | That is simultaneously the most depressing fact about America Iāve heard in at least 24 hours while also being the least surprising fact about America Iāve heard in much longer |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | No itās fucking parsley smdh |
Ryus
06.30.23 | i would hazard a guess that canada is not much better sadly
its definitely cilantro btw |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Trying to think how long ago it was that I learned how much Americans pay for epi-pens, I think that might actually have been under 24 hours
So itās the most depressing fact about America that Iāve learned since yesterday evening approximately |
nol
06.30.23 | Catnip |
Ryus
06.30.23 | ok thats probably a better answer |
Ryus
06.30.23 | "Trying to think how long ago it was that I learned how much Americans pay for epi-pens, I think that might actually have been under 24 hours
So itās the most depressing fact about America that Iāve learned since yesterday evening approximately"
if you dont have insurance then yeah its a shit ton. if you do then depending on the insurance you have its like 10 bucks. which is wack |
veninblazer
06.30.23 | it really doesn't help that the average English class makes reading seem like the most boring fucking thing on earth. that's probably affecting my perspective a lot more negatively than it should, especially since it's been six years since I graduated. |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | @ryus I couldnāt find stats for āabove 6th grade levelā on a quick google but I found this
https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/Canada/United-States/Education/Literacy
Also ā 48% of adult Canadians have literacy skills that fall below a high school levelā |
Ryus
06.30.23 | "it really doesn't help that the average English class makes reading seem like the most boring fucking thing on earth. that's probably affecting my perspective a lot more negatively than it should, especially since it's been six years since I graduated."
idk in my english classes, especially in high school, we read a lot of really interesting stuff. some of my teachers definitely failed to make the most of the material but for the most part i can't complain about what they selected. and the teachers who cared/knew how to teach definitely helped cultivate a love of reading in me. |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Not a massive difference but Iām going to take it as a win considering we also take 4x as many immigrants as the states (proportionately) and Iām assuming the stats are based on English literacy not just literacy in any language |
Ryus
06.30.23 |
ā 48% of adult Canadians have literacy skills that fall below a high school levelā
sometimes i need to remember that when i'm talking to people on here, sometimes they legitimately cannot read |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Do you think storm passes the 6th grade literacy bar? |
YoYoMancuso
06.30.23 | this thread is wild to read because i can't and i don't know what the fuck anyone is saying |
budgie
06.30.23 | that when you i'm š© |
nol
06.30.23 | ššš¤ |
Ryus
06.30.23 | "this thread is wild to read because i can't and i don't know what the fuck anyone is saying"
yoyo is in the 54% you hate to see it :[ |
Kompys2000
06.30.23 | I had some bad English teachers in middle school but lucked out in HS with a very nice chill dude who was a very good sport about me throwing a hissy fit over how much I fucking hated the scarlet letter |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Canāt believe you edited that ryus, it was fucking perfect |
Ryus
06.30.23 | the scarlet letter sucks yea lmao thats one of the worst books that they keep assigning high schoolers for some godforsaken reason |
Ryus
06.30.23 | i will not allow my english to be made fun of. i speak it really good |
ArsMoriendi
06.30.23 | Where is this literacy bar so I can grab a beer at it |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | ā sometimes i need to remember that when you i'm talking to people on here, sometimes they legitimately cannot readā
Preserved and archived |
Ryus
06.30.23 | wp wp |
ArsMoriendi
06.30.23 | I liked The Scarlet Letter but maybe that's just because I kinda fuck with transcendentalism... though I guess Nathaniel Hawthorne isn't nearly as cool as like Ralph Waldo Emerson |
budgie
06.30.23 | tattoo worthy |
Ryus
06.30.23 | i fuck very hard with transcendentalism even in this very thread but that book is not the one
yea he has nothing on emerson, whitman, or thoreau |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | My grade 10 English teacher used to teach guitar with my drum teacher. I told my drum teacher about it and he laughed super hard and told me he was a huge stoner and couldnāt believe he was teaching high school kids. Then the english teacher pried me during class to tell him what my drum teacher said about him and I told the entire class what he said. He got all flustered and was like āoh uh umm no Iām he must have the totally wrong idea about meā and then held me after class and asked me desperately to keep it between us lol |
ArsMoriendi
06.30.23 | Someone with the *audacity* make a list guessing Sputink users literacy levels |
MoM
06.30.23 | High schools should consider adding books from this century to the curriculum. Throw the Illuminatus! at them, even though thatās from like the 70s |
Ryus
06.30.23 | lmao potsy |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Needless to say I went to that class baked af every day after that |
Ryus
06.30.23 | i really regret not talking more literature classes in college. i took a borges course in spanish cuz i minored in it and it was the best class ever |
ArsMoriendi
06.30.23 | "High schools should consider adding books from this century to the curriculum. Throw the Illuminatus! at them, even though thatās from like the 70s"
idk I remember the only modern book we read in my 10th grade English class was Bel Canto, and that book was awful, was such a relief when we read To Kill a Mockingbird after it |
MoM
06.30.23 | Then throw Borges at them! Everybody loves Labyrinths |
Ryus
06.30.23 | yeah hes the goat. my favorite writer |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
06.30.23 | "massively averse to idiot homo/transphobia and square engendered language, but also probably culturally appropriative in how much i leech off queer sass (literally why wouldn't you)"
lmao relatable.
Anyway, stupid fuckin Maudlin of the Well screen name acts like he got the coolest opinions around, probably doesn't even think Steely Dan is cool. Guy should smoke more DMT. |
Ectier
06.30.23 | If Johnny does indeed oversteep tea or ruin tea in any sort or form this changes everything and he may indeed be a blasphemer if so. Down with tea ruining heresy and crimes |
AnimalForce1
06.30.23 | ālove AnimalForce1 there is nothing wrong with strong homegrown cornfields and 2D powerā
Iām off Sput the whole day, open it up and see this. Much love man, keep doing your thing! |
Ryus
06.30.23 | everybody knows steely dan is cool, dw. even if you dont, you know it implicitly and you're just lying to yourself |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Yo fuck steely Dan |
Ryus
06.30.23 | case in point |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | *chucks steely dan casstte out car window* |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
06.30.23 | "Yo fuck steely Dan "
I can't believe you've done this.
If Johnny openly admits that Steely Dan is cool I will take back everything I have said about him publicly, privately, and in my diary.
And okay having done DMT one time in college and having a pretty good time I'm at the very least super curious what a weaker vape version would be like. Who wants to vape some DMT and listen to the Dan |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | *stops car abruptly and frantically runs back to retrieve steely Dan tape* |
PotsyTater
06.30.23 | Iāll vape dmt with you but I am not listening to steely Dan Iām putting my foot down on that |
Ryus
06.30.23 | steely dan is cocaine music |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Steely Dan is a dildo reference |
Ryus
07.01.23 | this is also an important fact |
JohnnyoftheWell
07.01.23 | I have never in my life heard a Steely Dan song
The Steve Albini semi-ironic fuck Steely Dan meme is marginally better than the Best Band Ever Litmus Test On UR Taste Bitch meme but this is probably bc sonic reps the latter
Um they are probably good? Their optics are not cool but this doesn't need to matter |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | @Johnny: have fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7kduNihACs |
Ryus
07.01.23 | steely dan is so powerfully uncool that theyre extremely cool. honestly amazing lyrics too, super unique and littered with interesting characters |
Ryus
07.01.23 | that song has the only good guitar solo in recorded history |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Also I doubt you haven't heard "Do It Again" cuz that's like a "classic rock radio" standard, but I didn't link "Do It Again" |
Colton
07.01.23 | "My grade 10 English teacher used to teach guitar with my drum teacher. I told my drum teacher about it and he laughed super hard and told me he was a huge stoner and couldnāt believe he was teaching high school kids. Then the english teacher pried me during class to tell him what my drum teacher said about him and I told the entire class what he said. He got all flustered and was like āoh uh umm no Iām he must have the totally wrong idea about meā and then held me after class and asked me desperately to keep it between us lol"
how would the guitar teacher pry you to say what the drum teacher said about him without you first saying something. sounds like you narced on him hard |
JohnnyoftheWell
07.01.23 | okay hold up I'm on Gas rn this shit is lovely but frustratingly unrushable |
sneakers
07.01.23 | dont know you but ill take this opportunity to call you a bozo |
Ryus
07.01.23 | quick johnny get on the danwagon theres still time before you get stranded with the sleep token fans |
sneakers
07.01.23 | bozo. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Sequence:
-told him my drum teacher knew him
-he got fired up and asked me what my drum teacher said about him
-i tried to avoid
-he said something along the lines of āoh come on, he canāt have said anything that badā
-I told him what he said
Donāt ask questions you donāt want to know the answer to I guess š« |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Can't believe Potsy is a narc though
Didn't expect that development |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Lmao itās not like I told the fuckin principal on him, just answered the question. His secret stayed safe with meā¦. And the other 30 kids in my class |
MoM
07.01.23 | Dude wanted to know, now he know |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Who am I to stand in the way of the manās pursuit of knowledge |
AnimalForce1
07.01.23 | How did we go from insulting Johnny to this? |
MoM
07.01.23 | He stepped into the realm, he was bound to get caught |
MoM
07.01.23 | Cause who wants to sit around insulting Johnny? |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | It was pretty sick just having a mutual understanding with a teacher tho. Like I was baked in all my classes regardless but damn it was nice to have absolutely zero paranoia about it in that English class lmao |
Kompys2000
07.01.23 | Love how Hunter S Thompson some steely dan stuff is. the distilled appeal of societal fringes to bored intellectuals |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Wish I got Steely Dan, to me they're like "good" but not "great" jazz fusion
I'd rather hear like Stanley Clarke, but yeah Steely Dan's still good enough |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | There's a making of Aja DVD that is absolutely transcendent, it looks like it's all on youtube at least pieced up into segments/clips, I highly recommend for fans of that album or non-fans who are now going to become fans of that album.
There are isolated Michael McDonald harmonies from Peg that are so fucking hilarious to listen to. Also Chuck Rainey talking about how they (Fagen/Becker) didn't want him to slap the bass so he would fuckin like try to hide his hands from them and play it off like he wasn't slapping. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | I mean like you can make rock better with jazz but why you gonna ruin jazz with rock know what Iām sayin? |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | I love some good fusion and Clarke is fantastic but yeah idk, I get something different out of Steely Dan, it's like where fusion meets the smooth sounds of 70s soft rock in all the best ways for my ears.
"He stepped into the realm, he was bound to get caught" I understood that reference.
|
Winesburgohio
07.01.23 | I consider Johnny a good friend and my personal licensed physician |
Ryus
07.01.23 | because its really just pop |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | ok. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Bruh if I ask for pop Recs and you drop steely Dan itās table flippin time |
Ryus
07.01.23 | you would like gaucho |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | Lmfao it's gonna be my #1 pop rec from now on. Pop on Babylon Sisters and lets bump baby. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | UuuUuHhhHhHhHhzhHh |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | Gaucho title track is my shit fr |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Yacht Rock...like Chicago and Boz Scaggs or whatever
|
Ryus
07.01.23 | glamour profession is my fave steely dan song |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | 70s soft rock and yacht rock on the whole aren't really my jam but I think a part of me does enjoy some of the vibes, and I think Steely Dan can provide those while also keeping it interesting and funky/groovy enough that I can fuck with it, so if I'm in the mood for that kind of thing they're p much my go to. |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Now funk, that's a good 70s genre
Since you mentioned it |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | I work at a used book store that also takes in other shit incl music and I p much head the music section so I go through a lot of record/CD trades and we got the sickest 70s funk trade in today and *every single fucking damn record* was scratched to absolute shit. So much like Curtis Mayfield and Roy Ayers and Gil Scot Heron and cool shit that was so painful to look at in that state, crimes against humanity. The horror. I did managed to salvage one in decent shape that had some like Space Muslims on it that discogs described as basically an early hip-hop release that predates the genre (funk/spoken word it looks like) and it's still sitting at work and I don't remember what it's damn called but it should be fun to check out. |
MoM
07.01.23 | Funk>rock |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Curtis is so good and damn Space Muslims interesting |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | "Funk>rock"
probably yah...got I need to get into The Meters soon that's all I know...July, too much good music out there too little time |
MoM
07.01.23 | Ooooh, i didnāt know about them! Gonna be struttin tonight! |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | Maybe I'll make a modern funk recs thread, it's a fantastic classic genre and I love a lot of the 70s stuff in particular but I'm pretty out of touch with where that shit's at these days |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | I'm so wary of modern funk because it tries too hard to be dancy in a synthetic kinda way and I like funk the best when it's EARTHY |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Thundercat and that one Louis Cole song I heard scratch the itch though |
MoM
07.01.23 | In the funk family, whereās funkās punk? Hardcore? Grind? Gring |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | The Minutemen are funk punk |
MoM
07.01.23 | And i agree about that earthiness! Youāve gotta feel it, strut to the warmth and rhythm of the world, like youāre growing roots and then pulling them out with every step |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | For sure, like it can even have synths/keys, but that can't be like the driver
honestly it's all about that bass groove |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Louis cole is a g |
MoM
07.01.23 | Exactly, the bass and the drums, but especially the bass. It needs that groove, that stank, the funk |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | It's why I don't really get Prince, he's apparently funk, but focuses too much on lead guitar and is kinda squeaky clean polished sounding |
MoM
07.01.23 | Smae! It doesnāt rattle and shake and groove hard enough! Itās good stuff, but it doesnāt have enough of that funk feel |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | @Mom: Do you listen to Cymande?
IF not, check this classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvHdbB-bVjo |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Cymande slaps |
MoM
07.01.23 | Oh! Immediately, it was like, i know what Iām listening to tonight. Thanks, Ars! I would love for the guitar and bass to switch prominence in bands and see what happens |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Prince is mid |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | I am the validator |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | "Oh! Immediately, it was like, i know what Iām listening to tonight. Thanks, Ars! I would love for the guitar and bass to switch prominence in bands and see what happens"
Only rock bands I can think of that do that are Primus and I think Morphine? (don't know enough about Morphine though outside a couple songs, but yeah with funk it's just like expected |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Promis slaps the bass
Morphine exists |
MoM
07.01.23 | Neat! Iāll look into them more. Iāve also been wondering for awhile what it wouldāve been like if electronic sounds were had historically been used in rock instead of guitar, focus-wise. Like, what if the keyboardist was the lead guitarist and vice versa, so to speak of prominence in writing. |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | "Like, what if the keyboardist was the lead guitarist and vice versa?"
There's a 60s band called The Crazy World of Arthur Brown that has no guitar but basically makes psych rock anyway with a Hammond organ...though I don't like 'em much
The United States of America is also from the 60s and uses electric violin and samples, but has no guitar, and I adore them |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Or there's that Cornelius guy from the 90s who only uses electronic sounds, but it sounds like noise pop |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | "What if rock said fuck you to the guitar?" is maybe kinda my wheelhouse sometimes? |
MoM
07.01.23 | Interesting! Iām curious what the progression of genres and music would look like. The potential! |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | ā What if rock said fuck you to the guitar?" is maybe kinda my wheelhouse sometimes?ā
It would be better |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | We get it Potsy, you like pretending you hate the guitar |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | Whatever people think of RATM they're also a very bass driven band where the guitar is more adding color/flavor/filling in space, and Tim C absolutely plays some funky shit. Those first couple albums it's kind of fucking ridiculous how many tight bass grooves there are packed into a handful of songs.
I litrolly majored in slapping de bass so I'm always in pursuit of more shit like that but it's tough to find in the rock world particularly. Guitar is for fuckin nerds. |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | Also hard agree on the earthiness in funk and bass/drum driving force. |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Rage rules
Vietnow is a bonafide 100/100 song |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | I mean I like the United States of America and Primus a lot more than any of either of their contemporaries. Itās just more interesting. Not even memeing. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | All tea no meme |
MoM
07.01.23 | I mean, Funkadelic is my Led Zeppelin and George Clinton is my Jimi Hendrix |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | rather listen to classic funk than classic rock any day, yeah.
I love some Primus and I respect them all massively as musicians, but sometimes it leans way too ~scree scraw sounds while Les nasally honks about scrompin on a cheese weasel~ for my earballs if I'm being truly honest. |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | It was fucking hilarious as a teenager getting into playing bass doing a google for best bass lines and seeing a bunch of Primus and then being fully like. How do I even what in the fuck even is he doing with his hands this shit aint natural. Sit down and learn like a Boston song like ya okay that makes sense, and then looking at Tommy the Cat like ....................... |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | "Funkadelic is my Led Zeppelin and George Clinton is my Jimi Hendrix"
Won't lie: I love everything you mentioned there, but also my 2nd fave Led Zeppelin song is when they did funk so uh lol? (so many people hate The Crunge too and they're wrong it's so good, best Zepp bass) |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | I wish I learned the bass, but I was dumb in high school and took regular guitar lessons and like gave up after 2 years
Did play cello from like 5th-12th grade though so I CAN read bass clef but...hmm maybe one day ill buy a bass |
MoM
07.01.23 | Spoooooky |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | I was like 15 and I really didn't know shit aside from when asked if I would rather get a guitar or bass for my bday to learn one I was like, man every fuckin jabroni plays guitar so I'm gonna pick bass, and then I just went full in and really took to it spending all my time playing and learning everything I could. A lot of my favorite music now is definitely from those days of looking up good bass shit. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | @jizz Primus definitely has some (a lot of) absolute ass music to sift through but the gems are GEMS |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | ā I litrolly majored in slapping de bass so I'm always in pursuit of more shit like that but it's tough to find in the rock world particularly. Guitar is for fuckin nerds.ā
I like you more and more every day |
pizzamachine
07.01.23 | Nerd guitars ( Ķ”ā”āÆĶŹ Ķ”ā”)š |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | @jizz Primus definitely has some (a lot of) absolute ass music to sift through but the gems are GEMS
Yeah this I totally agree with. Similar to the Zappa conundrum. |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | tbh I love most stuff by Primus, most of the ass stuff is on The Brown Album, Antipop, The Chocolate Factory, but the former 2 also have great songs |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Man if we're bringing up Zappa...aka the best artist EVER (for better or worse) I gotta say you just have to indulge into the wtf crass weird grooves , give up and let it have you
Man might have bad albums, but his good stuff is like 4x the amount of most band's entire discographies |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | Oh yeah, I have nothing but respect for the man and I'm happy for him to have made all the weird ass doodoo shit in the world, as a weird ass doodoo person myself I can appreciate the artistic direction. I just don't want to listen to a lot of it myself. Doesn't stop there from being more than enough good/worth listening to material. |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | For sure
I'm mostly annoyed by his triple and double albums that are just guitar solos without surrounding melodies...like no don't shut up and play your guitar Zappa, gimme some vocals and marimba |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | @jizz when you were pondering your username did you ever consider āShapeOfSpunkToCumā or did you go straight to jizz |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | As a pretty large fan of both Coleman and Refused there was definitely a moment of consideration, but jizz was always my true calling. I'm more of a jizz guy than a spunk guy generally.
Anyways thanks for being brave enough to ask the real questions. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Thank you for sharing |
Colton
07.01.23 | is spunk what cum was called in the 90s |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Apparently it is recorded as far back as 1888 as slang for cum |
Colton
07.01.23 | wow that makes using it so much more lame than i already thought |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Whatās the cutting edge jizz slang that the cool kid are using colton |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Cum has been used since 1920 btw so you better figure something from within the last ten years quick if you donāt want egg on ur face |
ToSmokMuzyki
07.01.23 | what the fuck this was 81 comments last i checked |
ToSmokMuzyki
07.01.23 | also happy canadeh everybody |
Colton
07.01.23 | it's just cum but jizz is acceptable in certain circumstances |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | Colton secondary question have you even heard of either shape of punk to come or shape of jazz to come
Tosmok are you Canadian? |
Colton
07.01.23 | calling it spunk is like calling weed pot it just ages you |
Colton
07.01.23 | no but the punk/spunk jazz/jizz parallel is intriguing |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | I donāt disagree with that but one of the albums being referenced is called shape of punk to come so the pun is kind of being begged for |
robertsona
07.01.23 | smoking weed in bed. sang heart shaped box in a karaoke duet with someone I was on a first date with. got lots of kisses. can Johnny say this? will I ever find true love?
zora neale Hurston has a short story from the 1920s or 30s called āspunkā. I wonder if itās about cum. |
dannooo28
07.01.23 | it's always about cum |
robertsona
07.01.23 | What was that Kanye line |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | The slang usage of jizz actually outdated spunk and cum both, originating in 1849
I think itās time for something fresh |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | So you're saying George Lucas fully knew what he was doing making jizz a fictional genre of music in the Star Wars universe because he's a horny old lunatic. |
PotsyTater
07.01.23 | I mean the internet didnāt exist yet so I wouldnāt go as far as to assume George Lucas of all people knew much about sex let alone leaving his basement at that point |
dannooo28
07.01.23 | i vote for the term slippy |
MoM
07.01.23 | Do a barrel roll |
Storm In A Teacup
07.01.23 | Holy fuck |
JohnnyoftheWell
07.01.23 | "that Cornelius guy from the 90s who only uses electronic sounds"
literally what |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | "Holy fuck"
You made a nice funk/horny George Lucas thread nice job. |
mkmusic1995
07.01.23 | How have I not seen this yet lol |
Egarran
07.01.23 | Strap in, thread is a jizzy roller coaster. |
Storm In A Teacup
07.01.23 | I havent even had time to read this thread yet but im glad i made it. |
Egarran
07.01.23 | We are as well. You brought joy to our world. |
Storm In A Teacup
07.01.23 | š„°š„°š„° |
ShapeOfJizzToCum
07.01.23 | You brought jizz to our roller coaster. |
ArsMoriendi
07.01.23 | Sounds fun notgonnalie |
robertsona
07.01.23 | Disney has entered 2023 and splash mountain has a new twist. |
Egarran
07.02.23 | Bukkake mountain? |
MoM
07.02.23 | Splooge Mountain?! |
anat
07.02.23 | spaff |
Storm In A Teacup
07.02.23 | Storm In A Teacup emeritus when? |
parksungjoon
07.23.23 | lol |
JayEnder
07.23.23 | He stinks, smells, and reeks perhaps |
parksungjoon
07.23.23 | prob tbh |
bellovddd
07.23.23 | lol. nice thread |
Deez
07.23.23 | He closes the fridge with his hip |