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Last Active 09-25-21 12:42 pm
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| HARDKUISS: DAY TWO - PUSH HYPER 💪🏻
Alright team, we’re back with another installation of HARDKUISS. I was going to wait another week, but poor old Colton seems like he might explode if I hold out on him any longer, and that wouldn’t be any good for site morale!
The astute among you will notice each day of HARDKUISS alternating between POWER and HYPER movements. At the end of the 6-day cycle, each muscle group will have had a heavier, lower rep workout to develop power output and a lighter, higher rep workout to hopefully get a bit of hypertrophy going. Usually there’s a rest day after every third workout, but if I’m feeling particularly spry, especially during the beginning of a meso, I’ll just power through like I’m trying to get to the end of one of PsychicChris’ reviews. Wahey! | | 1 |  | Rollins Band
Life Time
EXERCISE 1: MILITARY PRESS
3x5
You’d think that as a former anarchist anything military-themed would be anathema to my horizontally-formatted social conscience, but after my ex was radicalised by online communists I developed a fetish for uniforms, regimented movement, and men who resemble Stalin. It should be no surprise to anyone then that my favoured push compound these days is the military press. My favourite part about the military press is that, unlike in romantic relationships, no cheating is allowed: we’re keeping those legs straight, baby! Military press also has the dubious distinction of being only one of two exercises I’ve come close to blacking out on, but I refuse to use the safeties lest I be lulled into a false sense of security. Make sure you can bail correctly before trying this one, or suffer the consequences. | | 2 |  | Madball
Set it Off
EXERCISE 2: INCLINE BARBELL PRESS
Three sets, working up to a 1x5
Now all the hard work is done, we can lie back and relax on the bench. Some of the guys at the gym call me Pittsburgh for the amount of bridging going on during my presses. In all honestly, the movement as I perform it is probably mechanically probably closer to a flat bench (and my flat bench closer to a decline) due to this, but it doesn’t bother me too much. My philosophy is the same as my philosophy on office attendance: as long as your ass is still in contact with the seat and your feet are touching the floor, nobody can say shit to you. We’re already warmed up from our vertical press, so no need to dick around with an empty bar here unless your object is to salve your conscience by telling yourself you didn’t hit the heavy set today because you wore yourself out on the warmup. | | 3 |  | Dead Blue Sky
Symptoms of an Unwanted Emotion
EXERCISE 3: LOW-HIGH CABLE FLYES
4 sets, pyramid from 12 reps to 6
With the bar work done, we’re moving on to cables now. Low-high flyes, aside from sounding like something out of a Big Daddy Kane rhyme, are great for working the upper chest, and the resistance curve on cable movements is great for slower tempo higher volume work. I decided to be belligerent and push the weight a bit today though. With all the uplifting of my homies I do this exercise has basically been second nature to me since before I ever picked up a dumbbell, but the rest of you should be careful to keep the lateral tension on the pec fibres and not turn it into a front raise. Like any good yaoi novel, a little twist at the end of the movement never hurt anyone either. | | 4 |  | Tragedy
Vengeance
EXERCISE 4: DIPS
3x12
I’m coming off two nights of subpar sleep, and I’m starting to feel it. After seeing Herbie Hancock on Friday night (good show) I had some trouble winding down, and rocked up to the gym exhausted the next day. Employing some time honoured wisdom from my bar crawling days, I told myself during deadlifts that if I picked up a heavy single, I wouldn’t have to do any more hard work afterward. The result? A nice 200kg raw pull, and enough cortisol firing through my system to write off last night’s sleep quality too. Luckily, no matter my fatigue level, I’m always down for some dips, whether they be hommus, toum, piccalilli or artichoke. This exercise is a nice way to work off the calories accumulated by my monstrous appetite after the fact though. Like pull-ups, I no longer do these weighted due to tendinitis issues, but the chest pump after the last three exercises is still worth it. | | 5 |  | Starkweather
Croatoan
EXERCISE 5: OVERHEAD CABLE TRICEP EXTENSIONS
3 sets, pyramid from 12 to 8 reps
There’s a particular cable machine in my gym with a double-pulley setup that effectively quarters the amount of force needed to move any given weight. I’ve got a hustle going where I fuck with the kids in the gym by maxing out the stack on this particular machine for tricep movements while wildly huffing, puffing and grunting. I’m not sure whether any of them paid enough attention in physics to realise this machine is comparatively easier than every other one, but none of them have ever challenged me on it while I collect their lunch money after betting them I couldn’t move it. I get a nice pump for the long head of my tris in as well, which is nice. | | 6 |  | One Second Thought
Self Inflicted
EXERCISE 6: CABLE LATERAL RAISE
3 sets, pyramid from 12 to 8 reps
Look, they’re nobody’s favourites, but if your quest is anything like mine you want those delts so capped you have trouble walking through doorframes, and that means lateral raises. Don’t be a hero on these. Kai Greene does the majority of his work with 12kg dumbbells, and I can assure you flailing about with twice that weight like a half-cut grandfather trying to start a lawnmower isn’t going to give you better medial delts than he. You can save your ego lifting for the… | | 7 |  | ASAP Ferg
Trap Lord
BONUS ROUND: DUMBBELL SHRUGS
3x8
The easiest way to fool people into thinking you’re on the gear if you’re needle-shy or want to live past 40 is to have disgustingly oversized traps. The best way to do that is to spam heavy shrugs. Since today is one of my least taxing days volume-wise, and I don’t have much room for absurd ego lifting during strict pressing, I throw them in at the end of this workout for a shot of meathead mirth. For the grand finale, grab the heaviest dumbbells you can handle for three sets (that’s 45kg in each hand for me) and make as much noise as you can while working through the two-inch range of motion this movement demands. Make sure you shake your head forlornly at the end of each set so everyone around you knows you can definitely handle more weight; today is just an off day because you haven’t slept properly. Wile away the rest of your day as people post your physique on r/nattyorjuice and seethe. | | 8 |  | Dua Lipa
Future Nostalgia
WHAT I WORE:
Dua Lipa future nostalgia shirt, short shorts, Chuck Taylor hi-tops. | |
Butkuiss
10.13.24 | We’re so back baybee lfg!!! | NexCeleris
10.13.24 | Exercise 5 sounds like a body mod straight out of a Gibson novel. | Egarran
10.13.24 | Such fascinating reads. You live in a very strange world and I thank you for this insight. | Butkuiss
10.13.24 | If you enjoy Gibson style cyberpunk novels I cannot recommend Quarantine by Greg Egan enough. Essential! | kildare
10.14.24 | no work on the abs? | Butkuiss
10.14.24 | Abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym!!! | kildare
10.14.24 | Man, I wish that wasn't true. I can find far more motivation to do some sit-ups -- back before they were known to be back-killers anyway -- than to lay off the carbs | Butkuiss
10.14.24 | I don’t do any direct ab work - I think they get hit enough by the big barbell compounds, and going for direct ab hypertrophy when you’ve got as much visceral fat as I do covering them just gives you even more of a musclegut look imo. But it’s not all bad - part of the reason I train so much is so I can cook and eat large amounts of delicious carb heavy food without consequence : ] | Dedes
10.14.24 | Situps are alright but since the main purpose of your core is to work in tandem with your back for stability I think anything that forces you to focus on form is better. Maybe I'm just seething cause my abs always seem to congeal into one giant supercore. I am unsure.
Also @butkuiss as a master deadliftian I started doing them recently and I have to ask-i can pull 200 for a set with -slight- difficulty but I do still get that -wrong- kind of back pain, any tips or nah | Dedes
10.14.24 | Also @kildare for something that focuses back and core I'd say def toss in planks and focus on hardline stability. I'll go 3 sets, first at 3.5 minutes, then 2, then 1.5 but do whatever burns you out. | Butkuiss
10.14.24 | Are you using imperial or metric units there Dedes? My answer will vary slightly depending (DO NOT USE LBS IN MY THREAD!!!)
Also do you mean pain pain or that weird tightness/discomfort we so lovingly refer to as a lower back pump? | Dedes
10.14.24 | Pounds lmao i'm sorry the red white and blue clouds my vision
I'll write it on the back of my hand to go metric
Also I would say it feels like a pump in the moment but even a few hours later into work it persists as a strange soreness whenever I do certain movements, i wouldn't say it's terribly sharp but i'm still unsure if it's supposed to be a normal feeling. It's probably the first thing i've started incorporating that specifically targets the lower back, always just done different row variants and lat pulldowns for back (which I PR'd on at 81kg for a set of 12 yeehaw) | Butkuiss
10.14.24 | If you’re experiencing pain during a movement the best bet is always to stop and reassess form, etc. until you can do it comfortably. No gains are worth a torn muscle or spinal injury!!
The lower back pump feeling in deadlifts is usually from the spinal erectors having to work overtime to stabilise the lift. The less your core is involved the harder they’ll have to work, so the first stop is always to double check your bracing technique, and after that, a form check to make sure you’re pushing through your legs and not rounding your lower back during the lift. That said, if you’re new to the movement it may just be that your lower back isn’t used to the movement, or your abs aren’t strong enough yet to take their share off the back. If you’re only dealing with the low back “pump” feeling (and not full-blown pain), you may just have to wait for those erector and abdominal muscles to get used to the work you’re demanding from them, and make sure not to increase weight or volume too swiftly. Congrats on the PR! | Egarran
10.15.24 | >If you’re experiencing pain during a movement the best bet is always to stop
So no gain? | Dedes
10.15.24 | Hmmm maybe you're right, it's definitely something a bit beyond a pump but not quite a pain sharp enough to feel like I'm pinching something. I don't round my back but I was initially under the impression you wanted all the tension on your back i.e like you're hinging up but ig it's safer to start it off almost a bit like a squat. NGL might be rough on the legs since I usually demolish them the day before lmao | Butkuiss
10.15.24 | @Dedes You don’t necessarily want to squat your deadlift (there’s a bit of a difference in stance and hip height) but by the same token you shouldn’t be pulling from your back either. The main drive for the movement, especially at the start, should be from the glutes and the hamstrings, almost like you’re pushing the floor away as opposed to pulling the weight up. The traps, lats, erectors and abs should all be firing to keep your upper body as stable as possible during the process. If you do it right the weight in your hands basically comes along for the ride. Alan Thrall has some good videos on deadlift setup if you want a more visual way to conceptualise the lift. And yeah, I specifically train legs deadlifts as far apart in my routine as I can purely because of how much deadlifts on pull days wreck my legs lol.
@Eggy there is good pain and bad pain my bröther 🫡 | kildare
10.15.24 | @Dedes and Butkuiss: Good to know there are other techniques that are good enough for abs without having to do sit-ups. Never were my favs anyway.
I was reminded last week how seriously out of shape I've gotten the last few years: Burrowing ground squirrels created a sinkhole in my driveway, washing foundation underneath my deck, and I had to lug around 80-lbs (sorry Butkuiss, that's how they're labelled!) bags of concrete in ridiculously awkward positions. I don't know how professionals do this 40+ hrs per week without serious back injury. This wouldn't have been a huge deal five years ago, but all that changed when I got Covid in 2021 and never really recovered from it.
Anyway, I'm much better since taking b12 supplements and can seriously think about getting back into the iron-pumping habit.
Question: Do ya'll have much love for kettlebell exercises? The whole time I was straining with those bags and buckets of concrete I was thinking, over and over like a mantra, "you've got to start working out again. Holy SHIT you're out of shape, you've GOT to start working out again" and kettlebell squat/swings are the exercises that seemed to simulate what I was doing best. But I've never done them
(BTW 80 lbs is about 36 and a third kilos. "80" sounds a lot freak'n heavier!) | Butkuiss
10.15.24 | The best exercise is the one you actually do, Kildare. I’ve not done much bell work but I know one guy who bells competitively and he’s ripped as hell. If kettlebells are what get you into the muscle farm regularly, then they’re miles ahead of my silly little HARDKUISS workouts!! | kildare
10.15.24 | Hmmm...I've never done them, and judging from you're reaction they must be brutal. Probably not the place to start now that my knees are cooperating again. I think I got off lucky this last weekend.
This was a great list though. It got me thinking about the muscle farm while I was doing the concrete work, so pos for posting it! | Dedes
10.15.24 | I wouldn't say they're more brutal than any split in particular, they're just not something commonly used at gym as far as i've seen but they used to be all I had lmao. I'm told around-the-worlds are great for core stability. Idk if i'm personally fond of swings since it's hard to get a lot of tension but literally what butkuiss said, anything that gets you moving in the first place is great. | Colton
10.16.24 | what kind of numbers are we putting up on incline bench | Butkuiss
10.16.24 | Work sets for this one were 70kg on military press and 90kg for incline |
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