Hawks
10.29.24 | Damn bro please don't say that. :[ |
Futures
10.29.24 | brother man hang in there. here for whatever you need. life sucks, trust me i know. it gets better, it always does. it's tough man but you can do it. there's so much more music to jam! this bums me out. you're a good dude who makes some excellent music and this place appreciates you. everyone is here for you man. love u. |
EphemeralEternity
10.29.24 | Besides the usual advice to reach out to any close friends and speak to a professional
All I'll say is I have been in your position and I'm glad I hung on (even though life is still a bitch at times)
It's tough to see any light at the end of the tunnel when your head is shrouded in fog but trust that things can get better and upward spirals can happen as well and often by surprise - you change a few things with your circumstances and suddenly everything is infinitely better than before
If it is a chemical depression as mine was too then obviously meds are usually needed to help drag you out of the mire and get you on your feet...and unfortunately there's no simple solution and you usually need to throw shit at a wall to see what sticks, but something will eventually
Go easy on yourself and do whatever helps you get through the days - music has been a lifeline for a lot of people myself included
And hit me for a chat if you want |
nightbringer
10.29.24 | Sorry to hear you're struggling so intensely. While there's that part of you that you acknowledge in this post - the part that's flirting with death, I'm sensing other parts of you that still have a voice. You chose to reach out and share here, which seems really positive to me. Maybe you can try and name and acknowledge these other parts? I think those same sparks that led to this post could also lead you to other sources of support. |
Spec
10.29.24 | Nah if I have to stick around so do you. |
bellovddd
10.29.24 | we only got one shot at life might as well make it last as long as possible. all the best and do you're best. |
heyadam
10.29.24 | Sorry it’s heavy < 3 when it gets like that at night, do your best to just drink some water and go to bed. Fixating on it will make it worse, and going to sleep can do a lot more good than it sounds (speaking from experience).
|
Purpl3Spartan
10.29.24 | Hang in there man :[
I pray things get better for you as you are so talented and have so much going for you! |
unclereich
10.29.24 | smoke weed |
Hendoi
10.29.24 | life sucks, hope you have some better days ahead of you. take care. |
Icebloom
10.29.24 | Echoing everything nightbringer said. Sad to hear you struggle, stay safe. |
zakalwe
10.29.24 | From this point on things will potentially get worse but they will also undoubtedly get better.
All the help, assistance and support means absolutely nothing if you have no hope.
There is always hope even if for fleeting moments it’s seems there is none.
Hope does initially comes from within, it’s always there it’s just temporarily lost.
I hope you that you find hope and I know for a fact that you will you just need to hold on. |
artiswar
10.29.24 | I've been in the same situation for at least 4 months now. It's been really bad. Meds, music, and friends help |
Jurtz
10.29.24 | This too shall pass
Been there
Hold on brother |
Slex
10.29.24 | I am really sorry that you are feeling like this, all I can say for sure is that you are not alone in that feeling. If you ever need to talk, hit my shoutbox, seriously |
Krpa
10.29.24 | You're not alone friend, I myself feel like I've done nothing but sideline any potential good chance in my life. Well, almost any, still have friends and family to bring some positivity when needed. But it weighs heavy on your chest, undeniably. No matter, you owe it to yourself to wade through all the shit thrown your way, but never ever call it a day. We need to keep it up no matter what. |
NorwichScene
10.29.24 | Get help for your thoughts. I know you think it’s bad, but thousands of people have it a lot worse believe me. No one is going to make fun of you, work hard but also try relax when the opportunity arises and take each a day at a time as things will get better! |
Jurtz
10.29.24 | Telling someone who is struggling how other people have it a lot worse does not help and usually ends up pushing someone further down. You obviously mean well, just something to think about. |
arthropod
10.29.24 | Suicide is a double-edged sword: what's bad might end, but no more good will happen. It's your life and your decision, but keep that in mind.
Some things will propably remain in your head forever, but it's possible to still find joy in life. |
Jurtz
10.29.24 | Suicide is a double-edged sword: what's bad might end, but no more good will happen. It's your life and your decision, but keep that in mind. [2] |
IsisScript80
10.29.24 | "A lot of bad things have happened to me the last few years, and it’s getting very hard because I cannot get rid of the thoughts."
Obviously, I do not in any way know the specifics of the situation you're in... only from this, it appears that the spell is *relatively* recent (as in "the last few years", opposed to over the course of an entire lifetime), and that you "cannot get rid of the thoughts".
On the first point, I would say that it is possible to have a bad, infortunate run that can last several years... you could even feel "cursed". This though, tends to pass via the natural ebb and flows of life.
In terms of "getting rid of the thoughts", there are therapies and meds available, as well as sharing the load (here, for example) with people, either digitally or in real-life. Again, I don't know your social or financial setup for access to either beyond this forum, but if you have some, this too could be worked on in a genuine way (I talk from first, and secondary experience here).
"Make fun of me if you want."
I suppose a mixed blessing here, with the forum on its virtual knees and having (as far as I'm aware) no current way of accepting new members, is that everyone here, more-or-less, aren't going to significantly troll you because at this stage, an exit is permanent. Even so, if they did, FUCK them. They'd be S-tier cunts.
Hope it works out for you. |
JohnnyoftheWell
10.29.24 | you've always been a gem from what i've seen of you here, and it's rough hearing you've been feeling this way. can definitely relate to thinking life has run out of bones to throw you, and i guess all i can say is that every chance i gave it to surprise me again turned out to be a blessing. take time out/sleep/eat well/travel somewhere peaceful if you're able and give yourself a chance to hit all the reset buttons you need - sending all my positive thoughts |
Wildcardbitchesss
10.29.24 | I get it man. I’m not gonna sit here and act like life is a walk in the park. Just think of the people in your life that care about you, and how devastated they’d be if you went through with it.
But I empathize, not gonna lie, when my dogs are gone and my mom has passed I’m probably gonna check out. I just gotta outlive her, I can’t put her through that.
Sending love man, you’re not alone in feeling this way. |
artificialbox
10.29.24 | You're a good person efp. Stick around a while longer please |
efp123
10.29.24 | thanks for the thoughtful replies |
evilford
10.29.24 | Sorry you're going thru this efp...I can relate. Life really sucks sometimes. But I bet there are people in your life who would be devastated if you ended it all.
But like wildcard said im not gonna pretend that life is a walk in the park. He'll it's hard for me and I have a lot of things to be grateful for. You ever need to chat or anything hmu, I'd much rather listen to the shit you're going thru than hear that you.....you know |
botb
10.29.24 | What Johnny and Jurtz said, thought this was going to be a ITYSL meme list, sad to see it’s not. Stay strong. Things do get better if you give them a chance to. |
DocSportello
10.29.24 | My housemate will often just leave pistols and rifles and shit on counters and tabletops and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered blowing my brains out one random night after a midnight snack. Especially these days I’m afraid that the allure of death is more normal and universal than we’d like to admit. There’s a certain thrill to standing on the edge of a cliff and just imagining, what if. But that would be the end of imagination. I’d never get to pet another cat. I’d never get to hear another sick new album. I’d never be able to be moved again, by anything or anyone. To say nothing of the inconceivable grief that would forever haunt the hearts and minds of friends and family.
Which is why I’ll never, never do that.
Being human is hard, I know it. But please consider sticking with it. I hardly know you but I see you, and neither this old site nor the world you inhabit would be the same without you. |
evilford
10.29.24 | Hard |
Egarran
10.29.24 | What are some of the bad things that happened?
Doubt not that we need you, you make sputnik better. Your rating list alone is A+. |
zakalwe
10.29.24 | ‘My housemate will often just leave pistols and rifles and shit on counters and tabletops’
Loaded? Christ Almighty.
I’d blow me own brains out just to teach the fucker a lesson. |
FowlKrietzsche
10.29.24 | I don't usually add anything to these since I struggle with finding anything to say but there have been many times where I thought my life was over, I'd made a decision I couldn't undo, and all I could think about was whether I could move past that moment, then life happened and that moment faded into obscurity and I was happy to still be around. Its hard to give your life perspective when you're in the struggle, but I promise you life is wide and wonderous and there is more for you here |
anode
10.29.24 | yeah bro i feel ya, i dont know if you got the anger inside that i do but these lyrics have really helped me "in spite of the world, my fight will never end". if the world keeps throwing bs at you, more reason to stay alive. fuck em |
Clefairy
10.29.24 | You’re not alone man. Try to find joy in anything you can, watch a movie you’ve never seen, go to a concert, take a day off from work/school and visit a town you’ve never visited before, try new food, find the smallest thing that feels new and fresh to you. You matter, please talk to a professional. |
chemicalmarriage
10.29.24 | Have you ever heard about how Alex Grey was suicidal, took some acid, and realized he had a divine talent and love of painting and a new found spark of life that led him on a journey that no one could have ever expected. Just throwing it out there, and no, I'm not telling you to do acid. I hope you're doing better |
EphemeralEternity
10.30.24 | I feel like takin acid when you're in a suicidal state is like Russian roulette with 5 in the chamber, but I guess a slim chance of having a life affirming epiphany |
gabba
10.30.24 | Contemplating suicide for real is tunnel-vision controlled by serious fuckup in the balance between chemical systems in the brain. It’s a crisis that doesn’t boil down to “nothing matters anymore”, but is driven by anguish and distress. Life becomes utterly painful with the idea of death offering the only solution. It’s like a magnet, a black hole one can’t seem to escape from. But this will inevitable change if you manage to hang on for a while, and moments will come when you’ll feel happy about not having let it go. Those moments are worth living for. You see already the amount of responses you trigger from others, because we get your pain, either have been there before, or are concerned about feeling the same way in the future. You’re not alone, you shape your environment, and we’re here to talk to you, to others, to ourselves. Your list may help some of us when dark times come, thanks for that. |
Get Low
11.04.24 | Hope you come out feeling better. The psyche ward I went to when I was at my low point fed me Lorna Doones until I was cured. |
Futures
11.04.24 | we love you man. |
Dedes
11.04.24 | I believe in u buddy, I hope some answers can be found in that time away. Find what slivers of joy you can and cling onto them hard, even if it's something that seems goofy as fuck or insignificant. |
IsisScript80
11.04.24 | Hope you get the support you need to get through this, efp. |
efp123
11.11.24 | I read this thread every night before I go to sleep |
JayEnder
11.11.24 | Damn... I can't believe I missed this. Love you lots bro, been feeling the exact same way lately. Hang in there and if you need someone to talk to I'm always here.
The sadness comes in waves and will never truly go away, but the episodes will become less and less frequent as time passes and you grow as a person. I hope you can find some peace in this fucked up world, it sure isn't easy but I believe in you. |
Faraudo
11.11.24 | To everyone around here who's feeling despair and feels like they're falling through the cracks, hang in there; it'll get better, trust me.
A little bit of personal background: my little brother passed away almost 5 years ago of a bunch of different diseases at the age of 15 (we're 12 years apart so he was pretty much a son too), and the thought of joining him (if there is such a thing as an afterlife) is very enticing and I think about that almost every day, especially when things aren't working out in my life.
For some reason, life gives me a small nod, a small gesture, or a signal to stick around when it gets bleaker. I'm not a religious person at all, but with my brother, I make an exception. I like to believe that he's the one throwing good stuff around just to keep me on this earth as long as possible.
Find that little thing that makes you happy efp and please hang in there, life is worth a shot. If you ever need to talk, let me know. |
Ray91
11.11.24 | just stumbled upon this post and man, I hope you're getting better and hang on. Especially during autumn and winter it's always getting darker in my mind as well. thankfully my dog and girlfriend keep me from isolating and negative thoughts but sometimes it gets the best of me. as many already stated, try focusing on the little positive moments and cherish them as much as you can. |
pyroflare77
11.11.24 | Yeah shit sucks, I've had depression for like 12 years at this point. But I have some important people that'd be devastated if I clocked out, and that's a no-go. I got into a better state of mind by doing something I am good at ("enjoy" is loaded language), writing. I was getting frustrated and more depressed that I used to be a well-oiled machine back in high school/college and it was all slipping. And I'm the kind of guy that's good at giving advice but then proceeds to not follow any of it, kind of talking out of my ass. Well I did it one time, tricked my manner of thinking to set things down to the lowest possible bar. At least one sentence a day. It'll get done eventually. I don't know how to translate that to other hobbies, but basically get a routine going and don't. break it. Humans may be creatures of habit but it sure as shit is easy to drop something and never return to it, lol. Now I got a book under my belt and published. I mean I'm probably chock full of anhedonia because I don't feel anything, kind of vicarious pleasure when some friends and family congratulated me. I don't know I'm rambling at this point and I'm not here to make this about me, but hopefully something here can help you out. |
Ectier
11.11.24 | I hope you are doing better now. I dont think i have anything furthur to add that others havent. Just remember if you are at the bottom theres only one way to go and thats up.
Also remember that every step forward and out of that place counts and proves you can do it even if its baby steps. Dont be hard on yourself if you go backwards, itll happen and doesnt mean you have failed, it means you are human.
I myself nearly took my own life last year and the last few years. In the last few months i have started to feel better about myself and life.
Another thing is to Keep connected with people and to talk to your doctor, therapist and if they arent a good fit, try someone else. Therapy is something that requires the right fit, if the psych or therapist isnt for you, thats okay just means you have to find someone who does work for you.
Rome wasnt built in a day, neither is recovery from mental breakdowns, suicidal ideation or thoughts or substance abuse. Everything takes time, focus on support networks as well.
I babbled a lot, but i really hope you are doing better every time i see this thread pop up im going to check it and make sure i see you commenting or replying to someone. Stay safe friend and look after yourself |
Faraudo
11.11.24 | Love you all, music discourse around these parts can frequently get rude and narcissistic, but I like to believe that we've formed some sort of dysfunctional, but somewhat tight community and that we care about it on a deeper level. |
Frost15
11.11.24 | I don't know your particular circumstances, but life can get really hard and tough to bear. One thing that always kind of worked for me was spending time in nature and pushing myself to the limits of the human condition (sometimes forced, sometimes voluntarily). Spend the few $ you have only in what you need to survive (food, water and a place to sleep if you can afford it). Learn to cook (if you don't know how to) and cook your own meals. Eat just the right amount of food to thrive and you will learn to appreciate life as it is in its most essential state. If you got emotional troubles try to surround yourself with people who listen and give insightful feedback and don't be afraid to express your feelings. We aren't meant to be alone and we need good company. I found surrounding myself with elder people gave me a lot of knowledge about life. The kind of knowledge that is missing in school, high school and all the current education system (which only intends to build capitalist slaves). It's a complex topic because what may be toxic for a human being may work for another. Life is absurd, and in the absurd anything can happen, so find what works for you to rebel against the absurd your own way. That's all I can say man. |
efp123
11.25.24 | It was great knowing most of you here, but I am going to leave. I hope you understand, and if you don’t I totally get that too. Goodnight |
Purpl3Spartan
11.25.24 | No man.... don't say that! :[
We're all here for you man please stay with us |
Futures
11.25.24 | maybe this isn't proper to bring up but he emailed me saying he took a flight to san diego to jump off a bridge. idk what to do i'm very worried. i would call the police but i don't know his exact location or even a city. can anyone help? i don't know what to do and feel like this would weigh heavily on my conscious if i didn't try to say something |
Drifter
11.25.24 | don't do this bro. it's not worth it. things will be better |
rellik009
11.25.24 | you can give his name and face to police or firefighters, i hope they find him before he does anything serious to himself |
rellik009
11.25.24 | do you have contact with him in any other way? |
rellik009
11.25.24 | but didnt he say hes going to san diego? maybe the firefighters and police there can help |
Futures
11.25.24 | no just a gmail sadly, he shut down his instagram which is really concerning me because it was there |
arthropod
11.25.24 | Could the fact that he informed you imply that he wants someone to react and doesn't really want to do the thing? I mean, I hope he holds back. |
Futures
11.25.24 | i know man i'm just incredibly worried |
Ray91
11.25.24 | hope he'll stay fine. don't let these fuckers win man |
Demon of the Fall
11.25.24 | fuck, just read the above. Awful news!
"Could the fact that he informed you imply that he wants someone to react and doesn't really want to do the thing? I mean, I hope he holds back."
I really hope this is the case, otherwise why inform anyone? idk, I'm definitely not a psychologist, just not sure why someone would announce it like that. As someone who's flirted with these thoughts, if I was actually gonna do the worst, I probably wouldn't be broadcasting it (obvs small sample size).
Unfortunately I don't know anything about him personally, so cannot help there. Hoping he's alright and gets the support needed (and soon!) |
Dedes
11.25.24 | @futures
What was the insta handle? Might be able to still backtrack from there |
Dedes
11.25.24 | Also @futures
If it's the one I found the city is Saint Paul |
artificialbox
11.25.24 | efp come back man. we need you here. |
Valzentia
11.25.24 | Keep your head up dude. We love you. We're here for you. Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just transfers it to others :( |
gabba
11.25.24 | efp, this is a bad trip you have to get out of, a kind of reality that swallows itself
if you let it go, all is lost, your memories, your connections to people, everything you've accomplished
though you surely feel that no one ever said it would be so hard, you can still go back to the start |
Hawks
11.25.24 | Someone please keep me updated. :[ God this is giving me anxiety. |
Deathconscious
11.25.24 | Why not just hang out in San Diego for a few days and enjoy the sights? Sounds like you could use a break. You may feel like you no longer want to follow through with it. Im moving to Saint Paul in July, youll have a sput buddy in the city if you want one. Hope youre alright. |
Koris
11.25.24 | ^ I really hope that ends up being the case, because I’ll be returning to San Diego on Thursday morning, and I’d be happy to meet up with him and talk things out. I just hope it isn’t too late by then :/ |
pyroflare77
11.25.24 | Yeah only solace I can give other sputbros is the act itself is usually on impulse. Plotting out this flight and bridge jumping is one thing but actually going through with it is something else entirely. That's a lot of thinking time and a lot of opportunities to step back. |
DrMaximus
11.25.24 | maybe you could message his band that's linked on his insta? |
Futures
11.25.24 | oh it's back up! that's good news at least. |
CaliggyJack
11.25.24 | I hope he's okay. |
JayEnder
11.25.24 | Really hope he hangs in there. He's a great dude and it makes me really sad he's going through it. |
Futures
11.25.24 | ok i got in touch with his band driftless on facebook. whoever it was did some calling around and found that efp is safe at a hospital getting help. so relieved, i really hope he gets what he needs.
btw listen to driftless! perfect blue is an awesome album. |
FowlKrietzsche
11.25.24 | Fuck that's fantastic news |
SomeCallMeTim
11.25.24 | thank you Futures, that's amazing to hear |
Odal
11.25.24 | I am so relieved to hear that. Hope he's doing alright. If you read this, we are all rooting for you man. |
CaliggyJack
11.25.24 | Futures the absolute GOAT |
jrlikestodance
11.25.24 | Happy to hear he's safe |
SomeCallMeTim
11.25.24 | Since he's safe, should probably remove some of the comments with his personal info |
IsisScript80
11.25.24 | That's great news... and AMAZING work, Futures.
|
keaton_86
11.25.24 | JFC that was an intense read. Glad to hear he's safe now. I don't know you at all but man, OP, try to hang in there. Change your environment if possible, read some different books, change your perspective. Hope you get better man. |
Futures
11.25.24 | appreciate it but i just did what i hope anyone else would've in my spot. he's a good guy, he's gone through a lot in his life. i hope he gets all the help that he needs and is back jamming with us in no time. |
DePlazz
11.25.24 | Good news! Hang in there efp, things will get better, they just have to. |
botb
11.25.24 | Futures you’re such a good guy, OP hang in there man |
Feather
11.25.24 | Hang in there efp, hope things are looking up over the last month |
AnimalForce1
11.25.24 | Please hang in there, efp. We're all rooting for you over here |
Hawks
11.25.24 | WAY TO GO FUTURES!!! EXCELLENT NEWS! |
Dedes
11.25.24 | I BELIEVE IN U DAWG hope to see u on sput again soon!
Also yeah big ups to Futures, your care is insurmountable. No one deserves to feel that level of worthlessness towards living, there's so much beauty that is sadly easily shrouded by how mean the world can be. |
Futures
11.26.24 | i've been through a lot, not depressed but i do understand somewhat. just gotta take it a day at a time.
i'd do the same for anyone here. we gotta stick together here. just pass forward this common decency. you never know what someone else is going through especially on here. this is in strong contrast with what i've been seeing in certain threads here lately. |
Dedes
11.26.24 | It's in contrast with internet cultural shifts in general imo, people simultaneously get more cutthroat and more pleasant/open in general on all sorts of media, even here. It's good to at least retain a common human identity and remember we all have love or are loved by someone and have self doubts and happiness and sadness and what have you regardless of if we're in the same musical or political vectors. |
Futures
11.26.24 | well stated friend. thanksgiving this week, be thankful for what you have and don't worry about what you don't. it's always a good reminder. i'm happy to still be around, that's enough for me. |
botb
11.26.24 | Yeah I’m here for the treating each other with respect shit, even if we rib each other about taste from time to time, but I’ve always been on that wave. It’s not worth actually ruining somebody’s day |
bellovddd
11.26.24 | im glad he is safe. no one deserves to feel this way. also well done peeps for helping. |
mindleviticus
11.26.24 | Futures you're a real goddamn good dude, so glad to hear efp's safe. Just read the whole thing what a rollercoaster. |
Ray91
11.26.24 | glad to hear efp is safe! let's keep up the good spirits here. |
arthropod
11.26.24 | That was intense. Good job Futures, may he get better soon. |
gabba
11.26.24 | Awesome news, this is a great community. As for our guy efp, this can be a new start, but there’s work to do. Luckily, nobody walks alone. |
Jurtz
11.26.24 | I'm glad to hear he's safe and getting the help he needs. |
Demon of the Fall
11.26.24 | well that's a relief, great news that he's safe. Wishing him well!
bravo Futures, that was some good digging! |
efp123
11.28.24 | Hey all. Yeah, I got a little into my head. Thanks for your concerns, but I’m out now a bit earlier today. Got detained at my airport before flying because word gets around. Thanks Futures for pretty much saving my life. That’s all I have to say for now, and I’m embarrassed it got this far publicly, but idk I’m sick. I felt the need to have an outlet to strangers I guess. I’m getting more help going forward that is already set in stone. I just wanted to provide some sort of closure here. This was not a cry wolf motive, but just a thought that I was actually going through with this. I only traveled with some cigarettes, wallet, and my phone. I have amazing memories over the Coronado bridge that ties with the La Jolla/San Diego area. Felt right. Thanks for reading, and supporting my odd list here |
Jurtz
11.28.24 | I'm glad you are safe and that you're now getting the help you need! |
DePlazz
11.28.24 | Good man, stay safe! |
Hawks
11.28.24 | Glad to hear from you buddy!! |
Drifter
11.28.24 | happy to hear bro. this community may be hella dysfunctional nowadays but a cry for help will always supported |
CaliggyJack
11.28.24 | Godspeed Efp! |
Futures
11.28.24 | we love you brother and are here for you.
i hope some jams will comfort you in this time as well. |
Ray91
11.28.24 | this threat restored my faith in humanity a little. hang in there efp and reach out if you wish to. |
Ectier
11.28.24 | Hope Efp is doing better |
Faraudo
11.28.24 | Glad to hear efp! Don't be embarrassed, asking for help is an important move towards betterment. I care for you and the rest of the community, so if you ever need any further words of encouragement, help or whatever, let me know. |
Faraudo
11.28.24 | I got genuinely emotional by following up on this thread and everything that happened these past couple of days. Sorry for not being around and helping as I should've. Futures, thank you for being such a decent, kind-hearted dude. You might say it is common decency and all that, but in this day and age, not everyone cares like you did (and do for that matter). Regardless, the most important thing is that efp is still hanging in there. So yeah, you've got this, man! |
arthropod
11.28.24 | 👍 |
Storm In A Teacup
11.28.24 | Yay efp |
DePlazz
11.28.24 | "Got detained at my airport before flying because word gets around."
Reading this part felt kinda reassuring, as in social/societal surveillance working in those cases where it really should matter |
artificialbox
11.28.24 | dont feel embarrassed brother. you are welcomed back with zero judgment. |
Dedes
11.28.24 | HELL YEAH BRO
Idc who you are anyone at that dismal of a headspace is more valuable than they could ever perceive, the curtains you pull over yourself will never allow you to see until you let them go. I hope you can be strong on your path to recovery!!! |
AnimalForce1
11.28.24 | No embarrassment, no judgement. So glad you're okay, dude, and I'm wishing you the best with recovery |
gabba
11.28.24 | It takes enormous courage to reach out to so many people you don't know in person, everyone here appreciates that. I'm glad you're over this crisis, hopefully you'll find lots of joy soon! |
botb
11.28.24 | Stay strong brotha! |
JayEnder
11.29.24 | Really glad you're okay Evan. Don't be afraid to reach out whenever you're feeling low, there is always help out there and many people who understand just how overwhelming this life can be. Wishing you the best brother!
Futures you are the man too for reaching out in the way you did, huge respect. |
efp123
12.16.24 | Everyone should just keep one thing in mind. You never know what anybody else is dealing with, and we don’t hold enough compassion for one another. That’s all I want to say, and I’ll leave it right there. I’m sorry |
NexCeleris
12.16.24 | [Asked Sput for help] |
NexCeleris
12.16.24 | ^ |
DePlazz
12.16.24 | Shit |
NexCeleris
12.16.24 | [Made calls to US authorities and services and contacted his band - to no avail. Asked Sput for help again] |
chemicalmarriage
12.16.24 | Wtf |
Feather
12.16.24 | I see the messages have been redacted. Was someone able to get in touch? From what I gathered it sounded like they were just in flight.. |
NexCeleris
12.16.24 | [Complained about authorities' unwillingness to help and provided details on assumed current location] |
Feather
12.16.24 | Hoping for the best |
arthropod
12.16.24 | Again. |
DePlazz
12.16.24 | Props for trying, Nex.
Fingers crossed. |
Futures
12.16.24 | i was also talking with him through text and he made it clear his intentions as much as i've tried. i feel terrible. |
Hawks
12.16.24 | WHAT THE FUCK!!! |
arthropod
12.16.24 | I feel sad because it seems like just living from one attempt to another. But you know guys, to live is to have the privilege of choice, so he could change his mind in any moment before he's gone. |
Koris
12.16.24 | "His flight arrived ~1 hour ago, which corresponds to a flight from Mpls to SD"
Fuck dude, I wish I saw this earlier. I'm about a 15-minute drive away from the airport (assuming he arrived at the SD International Airport)... maybe I can see if he's still there, although I fear it might be too late and he could have already headed elsewhere. But I'll keep my ear to the ground, especially since he's likely near my neck of the woods atm |
Donchivo
12.16.24 | oh noooo... I really hope you're still out there, EFP, mate! |
Futures
12.16.24 | koris he mentioned the coronado bridge if that means anything to you |
Koris
12.16.24 | That's literally right outside of my base. Problem is, I don't think there's a way to legally walk along the bridge (there's no sort of walkway between/around the lanes themselves). But I'll see what I can do; or at the very least, I'll notify the police at the base of the bridge |
Futures
12.16.24 | thank you man, i appreciate that. didn't know who to call. |
Koris
12.16.24 | The police have been notified. I also crossed the bridge a number of times to see if he was there, but I couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. I’ll keep trying to call him in the meantime, and I’ll let you guys know if I have any updates. I just hope he hasn’t gone through with any of this yet 😞 |
NexCeleris
12.16.24 | Thank you, Koris! You're a treasure. |
Hawks
12.17.24 | This is really breaking my heart bros. God I hope he's ok. :[ |
Koris
12.17.24 | Unfortunately whenever I try to call him, it gets dropped immediately. It doesn’t even go to any sort of voice mail 😕 |
Dedes
12.17.24 | It's unfortunate it already wrapped back around to this
If he plans on going back to the bridge it seems you've already some kind of safety set up Brendan tho which is somewhat reassuring.
I think if there's any kindness in this universe he'll still be steered from his end, this man isn't meant to die yet. |
Koris
12.17.24 | Update: according to his band, Evan has been found and is now receiving help. Such a relief 😌 |
NexCeleris
12.17.24 | E: THANK GOODNESS |
bellovddd
12.17.24 | looks like he has been found and receiving help. nice work Koris and everyone. |
Koris
12.17.24 | @dedes: oh absolutely! I know the proper channels now, in case this ever happens again (though obviously I hope it never comes to that in the first place) |
Futures
12.17.24 | that's great. very thankful. but i don't think we can be doing this every week. even though this community is great in helping, putting on this spectacle feels wrong. i really hope he is serious about getting help because you can't help someone who doesn't want it. i hope after some thought he decides to live and fight on. if not he needs to be committed for an extended stay as sad as that sounds.
this is very stressful and hurtful to his friends myself included. i don't know what else i can do. i've tried everything in talking to him. |
Ectier
12.17.24 | Thank goodness. Wonderful work Koris and everyone |
pizzamachine
12.17.24 | Glad everyone’s okay |
Faraudo
12.17.24 | I live in Mexico so I can't really be of much help, sorry guys =(. Let me know if there are other ways to support you or Evan in this situation. I can only imagine how stressful this must be for everyone involved. Unfortunately, he's going through a painful, grueling and unforgiving mental state. Evan, if you read this at some point, know that we are all rooting for you here and you can hit me up whenever you need to talk or to vent out. Thank you guys for alerting the authorities and for being all-round good people. Being nice to one another and caring should be a requirement in such trying times |
Hawks
12.17.24 | "i hope after some thought he decides to live and fight on. if not he needs to be committed for an extended stay as sad as that sounds."
This. |
Valzentia
12.17.24 | i hope after some thought he decides to live and fight on. if not he needs to be committed for an extended stay as sad as that sounds. [2] |
anode
12.17.24 | i agree with the first sentiment in that statement, but the second one is really not for others to decide and is ultimately up to the person going through it. no one decided to be born and if existence is that painful then nothing but sympathy for people with suicidal ideations no matter the decision they come to |
Futures
12.17.24 | i get it as he needs to choose to help himself but i'm not gonna sit by idle and watch my friend fucking kill himself if i have anything to do with it. i just know him through the the internet here but i've gotten to know him pretty well.
he has also mentioned to me he hasn't tried any medication which i feel is a major disservice before taking the most drastic act you can. i'm going to do whatever is in my power to stop it from happening. it's not an act for yourself, it hurts so many other people. sitting by and saying oh well it's his choice is so unimaginably cruel. |
pyroflare77
12.17.24 | I hope he realizes that saying goodbye and speaking with others is on some level wanting help and wanting to live. And also don't jump the survival instinct will kick in on the way down and you WILL regret it. |
pyroflare77
12.17.24 | and yeah the nobody decides to be born argument is a little short-sighted. Because so many things in life are happenstance. He didn't decide to get depression. He doesn't decide how friends etc are attached to him. I know I'm only still around because it'd crush my few friends and I'm not here to sow misery. |
anode
12.17.24 | yeah recommending medication im on board with but thats a lot different than saying someone we hardly know needs long term commitment to a mental institute. i know youre just trying to do whats best. that kinda talk would annoy me, thats all. not trying to have a debate on this sensitive subject |
Futures
12.17.24 | you talking like that has really annoyed me, so i think we're even.
he has sent me much more stuff than i have disclosed for obvious reasons. you have no clue about this situation. let me care for my friend and try my best to help them with what i think is best based on what i know. that's all. |
anode
12.17.24 | na im not annoyed. youre entitled to your opinion just like i am. anyway, like i said, i really dont wanna turn this thread into a debate outa respect for op so not gunna comment anymore |
Futures
12.17.24 | bizarre brother. you take care. |
Emim
12.17.24 | "sitting by and saying oh well it's his choice is so unimaginably cruel"
Yeah holy shit I can't imagine having that POV
Just makes me think of The View from Halfway Down |
anode
12.17.24 | alright i have to say thats not what im condoning at all |
Jurtz
12.17.24 | I'm happy and relieved to read that Evan is okay and is in a safe place. |
gabba
12.17.24 | This is very sad, it seems he'll do it sooner or later and there's not much we can do about it. Efp is right about nobody being able to fully comprehend what he's going through, but wrong about people's lack of (enough) compassion towards each other. For some reason, we are wired to cling to life and it feels terrible to see someone go like this. Medication can certainly get people out of the pit, ease the pain and re-shape their view on life. It is no magic bullet though, will not change reality, but providing different lens to look at reality is enough. We are all equipped with such lens from birth, but some get dirty too soon, and others get lost for good. That's what friends, family and/or professionals are for, to help with the replacement. |
Jurtz
12.17.24 | Many of us are able to comprehend what he is going through, because we've been where he is. |
Dedes
12.17.24 | Every individual culmination of thoughts that leads to moments such as these are for sure different but the feeling hardly ever changes. The feeling of emptiness is always just that and it sucks dogass, sometimes it's a well of melancholy and sometimes it's just infinite boredom and a long road to nothing.
I know this comment is gonna be a bit buried but @efp I was gonna end my life when I was 20. I had several months over the next few years where it still dwelled as a serious thought. On rare occasions now the idea still crops up. But eventually you'll find a purpose that's even more powerful than the desire to die. It might be a complex thing to unfold but it absolutely helps to cling onto every positive vision you could ever have for yourself, every positive interaction you've ever had that is part of a more significant web of kindness and change than what a single person could ever comprehend. GL brother. |
unclereich
12.17.24 | That was powerful Dedes, thank you for sharing that. |
garas
12.17.24 | I am very proud of y'all.
>you can't help someone who doesn't want it
That's the sad truth here. My wife is a psychologist, and most of the time that's the biggest problem out there.
Seek help and accept it too. |
gabba
12.17.24 | Yeah, @Jurtz, I meant it in a way Dedes described it. Just as well as we don’t see colors the same way (just label them similarly), we can’t experience the mental suffering of others. Most of the time I don’t see the point of living myself, but that must be miles away from how others feel about it. Sure, talking helps, and we empathize, but I’d say that even the feeling of emptiness is unique to the individual. That’s what makes it so frightening. Eventually, everyone dies alone, but before that moment comes, one should seek help if needed to find beauty in life. |
CugnoBrasso
12.17.24 | "it seems he'll do it sooner or later and there's not much we can do about it"
Sorry but this is a dangerous message and a false one potentially. I was suicidal in my early 20s (for more than a year) and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but it's something that you can grow out of. The problem is that it takes a lot of time and there's no one-size-fits-all solution, I found what works for me but it's a specific set of measures. I'm not saying it's easy, but implying that suicidal thoughts are just something that you have to live with somehow is just plain wrong. I'm still sad from time to time, even very sad on some occasions, but not suicidal.
I'm relieved that everything worked out for the best. Efp, I hope you find your way out of this state of mind, I know it's a black hole but I'm sure you can do it. It is possible.
Also, proud to belong to this community! |
Storm In A Teacup
12.18.24 | Ya i hope no one here agrees with "it seems he'll do it sooner or later and there's not much we can do about it" cuz thats so dangerous to say and a dangerous mindset to look at life with |
Faraudo
12.18.24 | He's going to make it out of the abyss at some point, I choose to believe that. |
