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User
Reviews 27
Approval 95%
Soundoffs 93
News Articles 11
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Album Edits 119
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Last Active 09-25-21 12:42 pm
Joined 09-19-10
Review Comments 7,936
| HARDKUISS: DAY FOUR - PULL HYPER 💪🏻
The show is back on the road, baby! I’ve been laid low with a back injury the last couple of weeks, and while still could’ve continued this series quite easily, it would’ve required me to feign the euphoria and over the top joie de vivre that comes with a post-iron endorphin rush. I could not bring myself to lie to you though. Rest assured, HARDKUISS always comes direct to you from the weight room, as I do the workout. You all deserve nothing less! | | 1 |  | Nails
Unsilent Death
EXERCISE 1: BENT OVER BARBELL ROW
Working up to a 1x5
Let it never be said I don’t know how to put on a show. As a certified manlet who squats the weights I do, my glutes have engorged to the size of small planetoids to stabilise my lifts. Bar in hand, I draw the gaze of about five gym patrons, mostly female, as I assume the position for bent-over barbell rows. Whether I am the object of their lust or envy I cannot tell; I’m too focused on keeping my back parallel to the floor; my underhand grip driving lat engagement as I work up to a heavy set of 5. | | 2 |  | Ceremony (USA-CA)
Violence Violence
EXERCISE 2: NEUTRAL GRIP LAT PULL DOWN
3x8
What rows up must come down — but that doesn’t mean it has to be easy. Now that our lats are nice and juicy from a horizontal pull, we can move onto our vertical pull. Today is a hypertrophy day, so we’re not going for crazy weights (I settle for body weight on these) — just moderate reps with strict form. That means torso parallel to the ground on barbell rows, and perpendicular on pull downs. Momentum is cheating! Neutral grip because it seems to aggravate my bicep tendinitis the least. | | 3 |  | Terror
Keepers of the Faith
EXERCISE 3: DECLINE DUMBBELL PULLOVERS
3 sets, 12-8 reps
I was a big Frank Zane guy when I first started training, and I think one of the most valuable exercises I took from him were pullovers. I don’t believe that any one movement is going to be essential or revolutionary to your physique in any way, but I do think the pullover is underrated and maligned these days. Bring it back! It’s halfway between a vertical pull and a novel fly, so it’s at once extra lat work without doubling up on movements, a killer serratus builder, and a way to sneak in some extra upper chest volume. Not wanting to drop 50kg on your face mid-workout should be an acceptable motivator to do these with some good form. Bosh! | | 4 |  | Bloodlet
Entheogen
EXERCISE 4: STANDING BARBELL CURLS
4 sets, 12-6 reps
Alas, after the existential horror of dumbbell pullovers, it’s all downhill from here. Barbell curls are the most basic of gymbro movements, but that’s no excuse not to do them properly. I’m talking glutes and abs braced, elbows locked into sides, and pull the weight up in an arc. It’s not a front raise (ew) — your shoulders should not move! I conceptualise the movement as analogous to scooping platefuls of fries off the table and into my esurient gullet. To build extra fortitude, do these in the squat rack with a power bar, and remind anyone who questions you that renowned misogynist and homophobe Rippetoe actually recommends curling in the squat rack in Starting Strength. I don’t bother with Rippetoe these days, because he’s a dumbass, but the look of shame on a career intermediate when you call them out on not reading the gymbro bible is just as satisfying as I imagine quoting scripture to Christians as an atheist on reddit is. | | 5 |  | The Necks
Hanging Gardens
BONUS ROUND: JAW WORKOUT
One set, to failure
Speaking of Reddit: I’m interrupted by Larry, a fellow disciple of The Iron similarly looking to make up for his lack of height with a surplus of width. Larry is a laidback dude a similar age to me, and as far as I can tell is part of the furniture here. One time he let slip his family was of South African extraction. I haven’t had the nerve yet to ask whether he meant the good kind or the bad kind. Today Larry has a book he’s offering to loan me - a Christopher Hitchens tome. He also asks me if having such a thick neck gives me sleep apnea. I honestly haven’t given much thought to The Hitch since high school, but I quickly feel self conscious from his probing, so I quickly accept the book. It’s all I can do to avoid the topic and get back to the task at hand. | | 6 |  | No Retreat
Pray for Peace
EXERCISE 5: INCLINE HAMMER CURLS
3 sets, 9-15 reps
My old man was an amateur bodybuilder in the late 80s and early 90s, and taught me how to train in my late teens. On the rare occasion we’re a) in the same town and b) able to spend ten minutes together without arguing, we’ll try and tee up a visit to the muscle farm together. Incline hammer curls are a great arm finisher, bringing in the brachialis as they do, and I swear by them for developing meaty arm girth. Unfortunately, last time I took dad through my back day, he told me I looked like I was “jerking off two ghosts at the same time”.
Jokes on you dad; you’re a pensioner now and you have smaller arms than me! | | 7 |  | Better Lovers
Highly Irresponsible
EXERCISE 6: REAR DELT FLYES
3 sets, 12-8 reps
Like any good back day, we’re going to end off with some rear delt work, because if you’re like most other people in my gym, likelihood is you only look good from the front. Not me though; as previously mentioned my disproportionate glutes mean I look great from behind. The wider your arms the more rear delt activation you get on this one, so conceptualise the movement as though you’re practicing hugging all your homies at once; just as I’ll be imaging hugging each and every one of you during my sets. | | 8 |  | Charli XCX
How I'm Feeling Now
WHAT I WORE: CHARLI XCX shirt, Hiatus Kaiyote socks, Chuck Taylor Hi Tops | |
Butkuiss
12.11.24 | With Jazzkuiss IV shamefully failing to get a single crumb of engagement, we’re reorienting to pure meathead content from here on out. Stay tuned! | bellovddd
12.11.24 | you stylish mofo | Butkuiss
12.11.24 | If Sputnik had a fashion section it would be OVER for you bitches! |
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