TheAnalyzer
User

Reviews 1
Approval 100%

Album Ratings 24
Objectivity 45%

Last Active 11-19-10 4:40 pm
Joined 11-19-10

Review Comments 106

 Lists
11.01.11 Sputnik Profiles: Irving12.20.10 Sputnik Profiles: Nagrarok
12.18.10 Sputnik Profiles: Willie/jethro 4212.17.10 Sputnik Profiles: Sea/satellite
12.16.10 Sputnik Profiles: Michael Jordan12.15.10 The Analyzer Goes Public
12.14.10 Sputnik Profiles: Special Double Editio12.14.10 Sputnik Profiles: Qwe3
12.10.10 Sputnik Profiles: Emim12.09.10 Sputnik Profiles: Jesuslaves
12.06.10 Sputnik Profiles: Inveigh12.03.10 Sputnik Profiles: Andcas
11.30.10 Sputnik Profiles: Intothepit11.29.10 Sputnik Profiles: Redskyformiles
11.24.10 Sputnik Profiles: Ballstothewall11.23.10 Sputnik Profiles: Returntorock
11.19.10 Sputnik Profiles: Winsomniac11.19.10 Sputnik Profiles: Kill

Sputnik Profiles: Qwe3

Today The Analyzer is providing a long awaited profile for the famous Australian user Qwe3.
1Neurosis
Through Silver in Blood

Strengths: The user known as Qwe3, or Qwe for our purposes here, is a Sputnik Legend and is surely one of its most respected members. I mean, there are probably 4 people on the entire site that could get away with trashing an album that really fat, nerdy virgins fap over like Frances the Mute in a review, and Qwe is one of them. Despite not writing often, Qwe displays above average reviewing skills, even pulling off a concept review of a really gay album that helps people shake off hangovers and forget about that bitch who dumped them. Depending on your musical tastes, the user Qwe has arguably the most "elite" taste on Sputnik, a by product of having a totally cool dad that got him into music early and likes to blast some "fuckin METAL." By his own accord, Qwe is astonishingly and devastatingly handsome (even for an Aussie), and if there is some "dark atmpsheric post black metal-ish screamo/jazz emo fusion" record out there, Qwe knew about it before you did, and theres a really solid chance that he totally nailed your girlfriend to it. Of course, there is no actual proof of this, and Qwe would undoubtebly be the first black/death metal fan that does not resemble a basement dwelling, acne ridden troll, but we will give him the benefit of the doubt.
2King Crimson
Discipline

Weaknesses: Part of Qwe's charm is his confidence (read: arrogance) that is often hilarious but dangerously narcissitic in other places. If there is a user on Sputnik who carries an ego that can literally be seen from space, it is the user Qwe. The user Qwe prides himself on being an unrepentant asshole to new users and easy targets, and has probably scared more users away than the resident dick shots that are currently plastering the comments board. While Qwe has admirably slayed many a troll in his day, his overbearing arrogance has surely at some point driven away potentially good users. Also, the user Qwe has a broad taste of music, but unless you are referring to Brit Pop legends like Queen or the Beatles, chances are if you like something that has an actual chorus in it, Qwe will probably call you a faggot. The Analyzer has long been baffled by the origin of the user Qwe's name, and the best he can come up with is the user Qwe decided to name himself after a vaginal fart. Its kind of hilarious, but also kind of fucking grosss.
3Streetlight Manifesto
Everything Goes Numb

Posting Tendencies: The user Qwe makes very good lists himself, the Analyzer is a big fan of "the real what your favorite music says about you." Qwe tends to be all over the place, posting on virtually any genre, any list, but the consensus is he is usually posting one of three things: 1. something along the line of ""fuck yeah holy shit this rules/God this fucking sucks," 2. One Upping everyone. If you say you did something, Qwe will immediately inform you that he can, and has done it better. 3. Calling new users idiots or faggots or something of the like.
4Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo

Famous For: Having at least 10 Alts, Being a ridiculously handsome Aussie with size 14 shoes living in Japan, having rad parents that are ok with blasting progressive death metal, Being a total prick but somehow maintaining a high level of charm, shooing new users away, getting in ridiculous elitist arguments and refusing to back down (aka just like IntothePit), probably fucking your girlfriend, and knowing more obscure shit than anyone on the site not named Slightly Epic.
5Queen
A Night at the Opera

Score: 9.0. The user Qwe is kind of a bastard, but for the most part is the right kind of bastard. Qwe has attained legendary status on Sputnik due to a rapist wit and having just enough deceny to offset his incredibly, overreaching, massive ego. The Analyzer believes that the user Qwe should probably review more, and for the fucking love of Christ, explain what the fuck his name means. Until then, Qwe will continue to rule at Sputniking, just like he claims to rule at life (and The Analyzer believes him).
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