Review Summary: Weezer has dropped a deuce on us all, and while it may smell bad, taking it seriously only makes it smell worse.
Weezer, being nearly eighteen years old, has washed and waded about in the music industry’s mouth since the early 1990’s, and they have been an influence on most music in their genre ever since. Starting with the darling of any fan of pop-rock, or dare I say, any music fan for that matter, “The Blue Album” reeled in the attention of everyone, with fantastic off-beat songs and catchy lyrics. The album was a hit for the kids who didn’t fit in, and even the ones that did. And with that, Weezer had us all by the neck, slowly strangling the enjoyment out of us, and thus beginning the biggest practical joke of all time, next to MTV, of course.
The Blue Album sucked us all in, and still does, so if The Blue Album is the hook, we can consider Pinkerton, The Green Album and Maladroit the line, and therefore Make Believe, The Red Album and this one, Raditude, are the sinker. They got us all folks. You see, Weezer wanted you to think they were the great alternative-pop-rock band they seemed to be, The Blue Album was great right? And then Pinkerton came along to become a huge sleeper hit, reeling in the obscure music kids that never fell for liking the same album everyone else did, but the more unknown album. With that, The Green Album was created to squash momentarily, almost test if you will, the devotion of Weezer fans, for big laughs from Rivers and the gang. Songs like “Hash Pipe” were made to get the “wat?” reactions from fans, and that’s all Rivers Cuomo wants. He wants your misplaced trust in their band. Maladroit was created to gain attention by the even more obscure of the unknown music fans, the type of music fan that would find Pinkerton far too widely loved amongst the obscure music lovers. This was all part of Rivers Cuomo’s desire to gain the adoration of everyone, prior to his big, poison spiked kool-aid party that would take place in the later albums.
Then the climax of our “wait…what’s going on?” ensued. Make Believe came out, and marked beginning of the terrible streak for Weezer music, but the fans stuck by, through thick and thin, they were sure that a spiritual Blue Album sequel would happen. Rivers, being the mastermind behind this, laughed from his computer screens, reading the hatred, and love, and everything in between for his new monstrosity, enjoying himself. We proved to be very gullible to him, we exposed our weak and simple minds, so he took advantage, making The Red Album a less crappy, but still bad replacement for the embarrassment of Make Believe. Therefore, if Make Believe was the darkest of times, then The Red Album could be seen as the sad, grey times. Yet, we took it in, we fed it, we gave it a home, we didn’t want to hate the new album, we just felt bad for it, and still disliked it. Weezer was painting the picture of a sad band that had lost its creativity; a band that was going through a mid-life-crisis, with songs about parties, troublemaking, and “gettin’ dangerous”.
Now here we stand, at the release of Raditude, and the band that we THOUGHT was sad and pitifully bad has engaged “Order 66” on the public. Crappy songs marred with lyrics about teenage activities, uninspired musical composition, and even hilariously strange guest parts proved that Raditude was a practical joke on the music industry. We stand here hoping Weezer would return to the throne built by “The Blue Album”, yet the whole time Rivers Cuomo was residing on the throne of “GREATEST TROLL OF ALL TIME”. With an album cover featuring an air-born Shaquille O’Neal, the title of “Raditude”, and song titles like “I’m Your Daddy”, "The Girl Got Hot” and "In the Mall", all with terribly un-catchy and sloppily written lyrics and overall bad song structure, we should have gotten the joke, but we didn’t. We took it seriously. Whether it was bad, good, or in-between reviews, we reviewed it, and gave into the joke, we fed the troll. Rivers laughed, and laughed, he made Weezer snuggies to wear while playing live, he donned his thick glasses, and he even rubbed some Rogaine on his ever-growing bald spot, and reaped the profit from his gigantic joke. These crap songs can’t be taken seriously right? Wrong. They were, and that is why this is the epitome of joke albums, almost on an avant-garde level that comedy music makers like The Flight of the Conchords or Tenacious D will never attain. Weezer trumped them all. And even better, Weezer gets all the laughs, none of us do, not even I, the person telling you all this, trying to get the word of Rivers Cuomo’s trolliness out! I cannot laugh, for I am telling you about this, and playing into the joke. I suppose that while Raditude is the biggest joke album ever, Weezer can be considered one of the biggest Jokes of MANKIND. That is why this album gets a five, because it is a fantastic comedy album, not a music album.
In conclusion, we are all idiots. We are all stupid for even giving this attention; we are stupid for letting Weezer stay in the forefronts of our minds for this long, one downfall after another. Weezer should have fell into obscurity like any 80’s hair metal band trying to release a new album in the early 90’s. Ignoring them would have worked, but in giving in, the troll was fed, and Weezer continued to grow like a chia-pet. This album proves how dumb the entire music community is, and it also proves how much of a mastermind Rivers Cuomo is. Unfortunately, Rivers Cuomo and company are probably not done with their joke, and much like the musical Anti-Christ, we will watch Weezer rise up to burn us all to the ground…with a new album.
