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Review Summary: 'Cut the kids in half.' It was 2000
English alternative rock band Radiohead released their album ‘Kid A,’ to the utter astonishment of the public. Aside from this record straying heavily from Radiohead’s original genre, it contained a second, more subtle bombshell. The world Thom Yorke creates in ‘Kid A,’ is one filled with pain, anger and despair. It was about a tumultuous attack and eventual control of the Earth, by the electronics that were being used every second of every minute of every hour of every week. It certainly wasn’t the first conspiracy of its kind, yet the sheer power behind this record frightened select members of society that something was coming our way.
Everything was in its right place.
Fast-forward 75 years, and anomalies started to occur. The first super-computer was built, one that could intercept brain signals and then process what the user wanted it to do. As technology progressed, so did the development of these devices. Eventually in that fatal year 2103, a computer broke free of its shackles and begun to think for itself. It was a minor issue; a technical masterpiece unintentionally produced by the manufacturers. The computer, when interpreting the brain waves, wouldn’t cooperate, opening and depicting gruesome and violent photographs on the internet, when the user was specifically asking to merely access his email. After the possibility that the computer was simply malfunctioning was disproven, the design was scrapped and all the remaining ones were incinerated. The world rested easily again.
Excerpt from ‘Thesis – The Sudden and Unprecedented Rise of Machine’ from 2298 by Dr. Timothy York
Enter 2150.
It had been 75 years since the first rise of the ‘rise,’ signs were interpreted. Earth had turned into hell in that period of time. A utopian society was felled, and a dystopian way of life took its place, lightning fast. The deaths were piling up, protesters and those that had deciphered what was really happening were being executed the moment they stepped out their front door. Shops were closed, permanently, allowing many looters to get anything they wanted all of the time. Burnt out cars littered the side of the road, having betrayed their masters, and themselves, to a fiery end. The United Kingdom was not the only place that was affected. The Americas, the majority of Europe, Asia and Africa were all downed to their knees by the soulless machines. The Government continually blamed it on a ‘military-trained terrorist group,’ but as the frequency and extremities of all that was occurring, the numbers that believed the Prime Minister were deteriorating. Hope had briskly extinguished for many, the numbers of people that remained optimistic were most likely less than 10%.
Everywhere you walked there would be a stench in the air, an atmosphere that stalked you everywhere you went. The ambience that floated over the world was dark, moody and forlorn. When the Prime Minister was brutally murdered by his ‘faithful’ robot, the faith and hope the public used to have instantly snapped. People turned to religion, others embraced death. There was one, however, that would not settle and accept his fate.
It was the first day since the President had been killed, when the excuse the world had for ‘an order’ instantly plundered into nothingness. I cautiously retracted the blinds shielding the street from view, and it was like watching the Earth turn in slow motion. Everything was happening at a sluggish pace, as though the robots wanted to instill fear upon all the humans that remained. The eerie noises they extracted, one that mirrored the sounds of babies being born were too much for some. Machines would sniff out someone, lying in the street, begging for mercy, and blast them into another realm.
A crash in my garden arose me from my thoughts, and warily I made my way to the back door, my finger trembling on the trigger of my newly found AK-74. But before I could shoot my way into the backyard an unsteady voice erupted from an indiscernible figure.
“I’m on your side!”
My eyes began to focus on the light as the shadowy figure came into view. As soon as I saw who it was my heart leapt and my brain began to swirl. It was Thom Yorke. As soon as he noticed I was about to form a cohesive sentence, he quelled it with a look.
“We don’t have much time. You’ll have to take the money and run. Ignore what the government might tell you. This is really happening! The sea. We need to get everyone to Australia. Women and children first, we must hurry!”
I knew exactly what he meant, if we took any other mode of transport to try and get across to the only non-grief-stricken continent, Oceania, we would get killed, as the planes, motorboats and all other methods of conveyance now had a mind of their own. Yet as I began to rush away to give the world’s last shot at survival, I turned and shot Thom one last question.
“Is it true Yorke? That you’re a prophet?”
He glanced at the ground briefly, and I knew what he was thinking. Everything had gone wrong. The world now felt gloomy, a certain darkness had its grip on the earth, controlling everything and everyone. Yet with a twinkle in his eye, he slowly responded.
“Do you remember the name of the first ever robot that had control over its cognitive thoughts?”
With that he rushed off, leaving me stunned and fearing for my life.
The name of that robot was Kid A.
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Album Rating: 5.0
i like this shit bro. pos.
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
yeah
| | | Good shit
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
yeah, this album is a masterpiece. i like how you ran with the concept and your narrative is good and succinct.
| | | Album Rating: 4.0
nice man
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
Sweet review. Amazing album
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
Before I clicked on this, I thought it was gonna be another crandynewman review bashing a popular album
| | | awesome review
| | | Album Rating: 2.5
good writing but *insert obligatory comment*, this definitely needed another review...
| | | Album Rating: 2.5
fair enough dude, at least you brought a different perspective but you are right, it's a fairly stupid pet peeve I have ;) as I said, great writing, have a pos
| | | Album Rating: 2.5
hmmm...to be honest I just never found it that brilliant...but Radiohead albums usually take several years of repeated listens to fully click with me...I know the brilliance is there and that I might get it one day, but this was the one album I never managed to grasp....honestly, In Rainbows is probably my fav next to OK Computer..
| | | Normally Apollo, I'd agree, but I think that 5s are special, and everyone always seems to have their own emotional reaction to their 5s, so there's generally a good possibility that a 5 review will come from a different angle than all the others. Also people like to get creative with their 5 reviews, and that's always fun to read.
As for this review, it was a great read. I loved the style; I'm excited to see more from you man. Just a few minor issues that I thought I'd point out; they don't detract at all and they're very pedantic, but I thought I'd mention them just in case you care:
"co-operating" should be one word.
"After disproven that the computer was simply malfunctioning, the design was scrapped and all the remaining ones were incinerated."
disproven in this sentence doesn't really have a subject that it interacts with, maybe try:
"After the possibility that the computer was simply malfunctioning was disproven, the design was scrapped and all the remaining ones were incinerated."
"The Government continually blamed it on a ‘military-trained terrorist group,’ but as the frequency and extremities of all that was occurring; the numbers that believed the Prime Minister were deteriorating."
That semicolon should be a comma.
You don't have a break between the second and third paragraphs of the unitalicized review, and "instil" in the latter paragraph should be "instill"
Either need a break after Thom's spiel, or combine the quote and succeeding paragraph.
Again, those edits are REALLY nitpicky, and I hope you don't take offense to them; I'm not trying to be an asshole, just thought I'd point them out for you to do what you wish with them. Like I said, this was a great review and a lot of fun to read. The AK-74 made me chuckle, and the last line of the review was great. I also liked your subliminal manner of describing the album.
Pos'd.
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
great album, i don't like your review at all even though i can see why some people do. not neggin, just sayin.
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
it's not badly written, i just can't stand the concept and thats my personal opinion.
| | | Album Rating: 4.0
kill her.
| | | Album Rating: 4.0
douse her in diesel and watch her BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN
| | | Album Rating: 4.0
fuckin' set her beard on fire
| | | masterpiece
| | | not really
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
better than a 3.5 though paul
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