Review Summary: Victory torn asunder. All hope lost. I am a desolate, deprived soul.
I surmised a petty album. My perception proved accurate whence my vision fell upon that foul album art. A mainstream sellout this is, and an assault on one’s eardrums this must remain. Oh fortune, what hast thou uncaring musical gods bestowed upon humanity? This vile treachery will not avail you! Be gone vile devils!
A faint incandescent light may be found on the rise within. It shines so bright for the optimistic soul, yet, naught can be found but the faintest of a glimmer for the wise. Though my heart yearns for past memories, there are times when yesteryear must remain buried. ‘twas nostalgia that compelled my senses onward, yet all was folly. The melodies, pleasant enough in ye old pop-punk tunes, cannot stop the truest failure from wrenching your soul into a million screaming pieces. What is an album but melodies? Yet even the greatest play ever written can be hearkened to a nightmare if the actor does not prove his worth. Indeed, this vocalist falls heavy upon mine glorious ears.
The lyrics! What manner of incompetence! What sheer, audacious Hell! Unfortunate be the listener who would notice such treachery! MGK writes akin to my own flesh and blood! He is but a toddler in the mind, surely a ghost writer would not be ill-fitting. Surely not this foolishness! Woe upon you MGK! May a pox fall upon your odious nature! Vile heathen!!! Be gone!
Surely no pleasantries await for those to dare enter MGK’s sly domain. No vixen could fall in love with such daft vocals! A faint effort is thus, and alas heinous! Crafty it is to use such auto-tune to pretend greatness. Though famed, his craft is that of a vomitous mule, one that goeth throughout its day without one such thought as to what they do. No guitar may vanquish such audaciousness! Forsooth, I am a man of such sadness, for I am but one of MGK’s victims.
