Review Summary: Disposable late-era Ozzy: Now with more Iommi!
Giving credit where it’s due, it’s genuinely impressive to see Patient Number 9 come out so soon after 2020’s Ordinary Man. Two years is a fast turnaround rate for anybody these days and it feels especially speedy considering the rather sporadic nature that the Osbourne camp has released new material since the nineties. It’s a natural extension of its predecessor and feels like something they wanted to make in contrast to previous albums coming off like products to half-heartedly push out every five or six years to keep Ozzy’s name in the headlines.
On the flip side, this album following up the last so quickly gives it many of the same hang-ups. The musicianship is still at that weird middle point where the individual performances are serviceable yet seemingly not allowed to stand out and the production is still far too compressed for its own good, making everything sound like a wall of digital mush. It’s not exactly a good sign when the guitars end up sounding even more processed and lifeless than Ozzy’s now-signature robotic moans.
This pattern unfortunately extends to the guest appearances that serves as this album’s central gimmick. While it’s neat to see names like Jeff Beck on the credits, they don’t get to put their individual stamps on the material and their cameos just feel like window dressing on otherwise generic songs. Not even Zakk Wylde makes it out unscathed; you can sort of tell that it’s him playing by virtue of the songs featuring him being slightly more energized, but the lack of all his lovably obnoxious Zakk-isms just ends up giving me Down to Earth flashbacks.
Of course, the lone exception to this phenomenon is none other than Tony “***ing” Iommi making his first proper appearances on an Ozzy record. Whether it be through sheer force of will or just Andrew Watt knowing better than to stand in the way of the Riff Lord, his guitar tone is instantly recognizable and his two contributions rife with the songwriting tricks last seen on Sabbath’s 13. While the autopilot execution of “No Escape from Now” makes it easy to wonder if Iommi forgot to bring his A-game with him, “Degradation Rules” makes up for it with a thick stomp to go along with a neat vocal line and periodic harmonica.
The songwriting also continues Ordinary Man’s somber, laid-back vibe though thankfully steers it away from moping in favor of more atmospheric ends. The title track is a genuinely great song, daring to invoke a gothic throwback with the album’s catchiest chorus. Subsequent tracks tend to run together despite the guitar patterns almost dipping into Diary of a Madman swells though the loony fan narrative on “Mr. Darkness” helps it stand out from the others. “Dead and Gone” attempts to pick things toward the end with another heavy crunch but “God Only Knows” brings the momentum back down and the closing “Darkside Blues” cuts itself too short to make for more than a burst of cute delta kitsch.
While Patient Number 9 isn’t anywhere near Ozzy Osbourne’s best works or even that particularly great, it’s at least an improvement over Ordinary Man. The title track might be the best song Ozzy has released since Black Rain and even if subsequent songs aren’t as strong, the spookier approach has more purpose behind it than the previous album’s ‘waiting around to die’ attitude. As much as I gripe about the guest appearances generally not standing out, they still provide a nice full circle feeling that one expects from a late-era rock record. It’s ultimately still yet another disposable post-retirement Ozzy record, but at least this one has Tony Iommi on it.
