Review Summary: As I Lay Mammogenesising…
The only thing more surprising than As I Lay Dying penning the most embarrassing metalcore album of 2024 is that anyone still gives a sh
it. You would think that after twenty years of At The Gates aping someone would catch on that As I Lay Dying entirely lack even so much as a shred of originality. Sure, I can understand the appeal of handcuffing
Slaughter of the Soul to the radiator in the basement, but sometime between then (oh jesus – two thousand and f
ucking three) and now raping it must have gone from exciting and novel to dull and predictable. And while As I Lay Dying is certainly the Tim Lambesis show, Phil Sgrosso, Ken Susi, Ryan Neff, and Nick Pierce all equally carry the *cough* burden of assembling this absolute trash heap. Hell, let’s add Nick Hipa, Josh Gilbert and Jordan Mancino as honorable sh
itlist mentions. At least Tim was born to grift; in an America that rewards conmen he was always going to resort to it post-imprisonment.* I have much less respect for the band that rushed back to him to restart their cash cow on the shoulders of Tim’s notoriety however, how’s that working out again?
Everyone quit you say?
I also want to quickly shout out Blabbermouth, Lambgoat, and Metal Temple for their obsequious reviews. Let’s have a taste:
“if everything had gone to plan, this would almost certainly be garnering lots of positive write-ups and nudging As I Lay Dying back towards their once enviable position as metalcore figureheads.”
“Without a weak track,
Through Storms Ahead is a(nother) strong entry in As I Lay Dying’s catalog. It’s doubtful longtime fans would expect words like “pretty”, “tuneful”, and “trendy” to accurately describe the band’s music, but here we are.”
“
Through Storms Ahead is a statement that, even after many trials, As I Lay Dying is still here, still relevant, and still excellent, 🤘🏻 🤘🏻 🤘🏻!”
Good job y’all!
Let’s not even talk about every shameful one of you here on Sput who gave this higher than a three. Go sit in a corner and check Fugazi.
I should admit that I haven’t listened to this album in a single complete sitting as it repulses me. In pieces and as a whole this is an utterly miserable experience that drives every trope of As I Lay Dying’s music six feet under. There is nothing new, meaningful, interesting, impactful, or even worthwhile on
Through Storms Ahead. The melodies are the same hackneyed shredding metalcore has wallowed in since Killswitch Engage were innovators. Every chorus is sickeningly sweet and marries the bad boy aggression of Timmy Titties with Ryan Neff’s “Oh but I’m so sad about how angry I am” naughty puppy schtick. The lyrics are vague but very whiny and tinged with narcissism: perhaps the premier moment is when in lead single “Burden” Tim tenderly proclaims that he’s “far from perfect” only to spend the rest of the song denouncing his vague problem person qua song topic. Everything is very angry but also really vague; God forbid As I Lay Dying be anything but vague I suppose, but the speed at which they replace band members suggests that their formula, and really their identity, was and is and will continue to be about as skin deep as Tim. A more dedicated and wiser troll than I would have realized that with “Permanence”, a soft acoustic intro that swells into punishing metal *gag* and simply turned off the album.
Really the only album I can properly compare
Through Storms Ahead to is
Jackpot Juicer – nothing else I’ve ever listened to rides the line of shamelessly selling oneself with pure, spiteful cynicism and an outright lack of respect for the audience. Even Ronnie Radke’s
Popular Monster seems a step above this to me, as it at least understood that brazen shamelessness works best with villainy. Tim can’t ride Ronnie’s line however, and he instead teeters much closer to embarrassing middle-aged man rambling. Every time I listened to this I could only picture Ben Affleck dropping his Dunkin order. I can understand being brazenly shameless, but brazenly embarrassing is alien to me. Are you really content to be Tim Lambesis’ paycheck when it is so f
ucking clear that he’s feeding you slop cuz he thinks you’re dumb and will eat it right up? This is an ugly, ugly album hidden under production so clean that it reeks of chemicals and a formula so fake that if you took away its anastrozole it would grow breasts.
