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Reviews 118 Approval 96%
Soundoffs 63 Album Ratings 3092 Objectivity 73%
Last Active 11-01-19 7:59 pm Joined 10-08-09
Review Comments 30,959
| Hans' Top 15 Artists
This is 15 because I couldn't bear the thought of leaving some of these off in a Top 10 format. This is a combination of life influence, long time listening, and even now. | 15 | | Third Eye Blind Third Eye Blind
Because the S/T is my 2nd favorite album of all time, the rest of their career be damned. Seriously, if you haven't, get.that.fucking.album. Best song, and favorite song of all time: Motorcycle Drive By | 14 | | Radiohead The Bends
I've been on and off them for most of my life. I finally gave in and realized the true genius about a year ago. I always loved the Bends and Computer, but I hated everything else for years. Not the case anymore. Mind blowing band. Best Song: Either Let Down or Fake Plastic Trees | 13 | | Alice in Chains Dirt
I like Ten better than anything they've done, but Pearl Jam turned into massive faggots after Vs, so Chains wins the battle of my grunge affection. Facelift and Dirt are bonafide classics, and Jar of Flies will tear anyone with a soul to shreds. RIP Layne. Best Song: Nutshell, duh. | 12 | | Guns N' Roses Appetite for Destruction
Yes, Axl is a douche. Yes, they are a fucking joke now. But, Appetite defines the term HARD ROCK, and is still my favorite album of all time. If you combine the Illusions it is roughly a 7.5 out of 5. Best Song: Sweet Child O Mine | 11 | | AC/DC Powerage
Surprise, they're not number 1! Listen up, fags who bash AC/DC to try to look smart, hip, or cool. AC/DC isn't about depth. They aren't about technicality. They are about ROCK, pure and simple. When I'm feelign in the mood for something contemplative, I watch the Shashank Redemption. When I want to have a good fuckign time, I watch Old School. Same applies for AC/DC. Best drinking band, ever. Best Song: Impossible to choose. | 10 | | Bruce Springsteen Born To Run
Born to Run is an almost unrivaled rock album. The Boss is able to transform himself across multiple styles/genres, and he fucking nails them all. Legend. Best Song, and best lyrical song of all time: Thunder Road | 9 | | The Hold Steady Boys and Girls in America
Because they fucking rule. Because I'm from Minnesota. Because they combine great, funny lyrics with fist raising rock, two of my favorite things in the world. Best Song: tie between Stevie Nix and Constructive Summer and Stuck Between Stations and The Weekenders. | 8 | | The Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street
Because the Stones best 50 songs are better than the Beatles best 50 songs. The only thing that holds them back a little is how shitty they are now, but their classic era is pretty much unbeatable. See Beggars Banquet through Exile on Main Street. Best Song: Impossible to pick. | 7 | | Iron Maiden Iron Maiden
My second favorite metal band, I probably like them even more than Metallica right now but I only started listening to them when I was 18, so their influence isnt as great. Timeless band. UP THE FUCKING IRONS. Best Song: Fear of the Dark (has to be a live version), or else its Hallowed Be Thy Name. | 6 | | 2Pac Me Against the World
I was 16 when Pac got killed, and for the lack of a better term, I was fuckign devastated. Me Against the World is the only reason I got into hip hop, and I'm extremely fucking thankful for it. Best Song: Starin Through My Rearview. | 5 | | Johnny Cash At Folsom Prison
3rd most listened to growing up, as a kid I remember being at the lake and my Dad constantly playign At Folsom Prison during campfire parties. It kind of pisses me off that all of a sudden everyone and their brother became a fan after he died, but I guess if it helps his music live on, all the better. Best song, and best country song of all time = Cocaine Blues (Folsom Prison version) | 4 | | Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks
2nd most listened to growing up after the Beatles. My dad was a huge fan boy, and it rubbed off. Granted, some of his stuff is utterly and epicly atrocious, but his best work (Blood, Highway 61, Blonde, Freewheelin, etc) is pure fucking gold. Best song: Desolation Row. Probably. | 3 | | Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti
Greatest Hard Rock band of all-time, and it isn't close. So what if Page ripped off a few cats along the way, the man was a genius and an exceptional songwriter. Plant is arguably the greatest rock vocalist of all-time, Bonham is the greatest rock drummer of all time, and Zep 4 is the greatest rock album of all time. | 2 | | The Beatles Rubber Soul
The first music I ever remember hearing. I was like 3. A lifelong love affair was born. Objectively speaking, the greatest band in history, period. Best Song: Fuck, I can't choose. | 1 | | Metallica Master of Puppets
It was difficult to choose between Metallica and the Beatles, as they have had the greatest influence on me. Metallica ultimately wins because they opened the doors for metal, which opened the doors for almost everything hard rock based for me. That, and Kill Em All-Black is the easily the greatest run in Metal history. Its not even close, so give up, faggots. Best Song: Master of Puppets | |
BigHans
08.19.10 | And thus endeth the lesson. | SeaAnemone
08.19.10 | ... didn't somebody do this yesterday? ... somebody who doesn't endorse a shitty football team I think? | theacademy
08.19.10 | lol 1 and 2 lolololol
3, 5, 13 own the shit out of the rest of the list, brother. | Apollo
08.19.10 | list is TMF fucking approved | BigHans
08.19.10 | Yes Sea, I blatantly ripped off your list. Too bad mine's better and way more manly. | Maniac!
08.19.10 | Needs more Megadeth. I must now make a list in this format that will inevitably be considered inferior. | Counterfeit
08.19.10 | list rules for the most part. TMF hijacker approved | BigHans
08.19.10 | Yes Brandon do one, I'll be nice. | theacademy
08.19.10 | needs moar* megadeth AND pantera. | JamieTwort
08.19.10 | 13, 12, 11, 7, 3, 1 FTW | SeaAnemone
08.19.10 | Sorry Hans, I don't define my "manliness" or sexuality by the type of music I listen to, I define it by my attraction to / fucking of females ; ) | theacademy
08.19.10 | actually, the only proper way to define one's "manliness" is directly linked to how hot one orders their wings at the local Hooters. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Theres a direct correlation Sea. Ok fine, maybe not, I like Pink moon and For Emma. Forget I said anything. | Apollo
08.19.10 | lol | BigHans
08.19.10 | UP THE IRONS! | Yeahtoast
08.19.10 | Great list man. FUCK YES for the description of 11. | BigHans
08.19.10 | actually, the only proper way to define one's "manliness" is directly linked to how hot one orders their wings at the local Hooters.
^ Or Buffalo Wild Wings. I did the Blazin Challenge. I almost died, and I fucking paid for it, but I did it. I'll never do it again. | SeaAnemone
08.19.10 | I tried the suicide wings at The Dog Pound at the Cleveland Browns' stadium once... my mouth was singed for the next week. | Inveigh
08.19.10 | Buffalo Wild Wings? C'mon Hans, theacademy brought the Crue with his comment and you brought the Winger | BigHans
08.19.10 | Motley Crue almost made this list. And at least in Fargo, BDubs > Hooters. | Nagrarok
08.19.10 | Ah, this should be good
*reads lists*
This is pretty much what I expected to see here, chees. Obligatory 'best-song-in-my-opinion' comment:
3eb: Well, yeah, duh. Can't argue with that.
Radio: It's still Street Spirit for me, got some kind of sentimental value.
Alice: *nods in agreement*
Guns: Hmm, it's a hard choice for me. Sweet Child is an absolute classic but got way overplayed. To hell with it, it's probably the definite GNR song.
AC/DC: What do you mean impossible to choose? SHE WAS A WHOLE LOTTA WOMUNNNN!
Springsteen: I have a soft spot for Jungleland myself. I fucking adore that sax solo too. Objectively though, Thunder Road is probably boss (oh what a weak pun).
Stones: I love Sympathy, but I've come to realize how good Gimme Shelter is as well.
Maiden: the Rock in Rio version of Fear of the Dark is godly, but still nothing can compete with the greatness of Hallowed Be Thy Name. Amen.
Cash: I have yet to listen to an album of his, but I recently heard the NIN cover and was amazed. Is Folsom Prison the best starting point?
Zep: It is cliché as hell, but Stairway to Heaven will be Stairway to Heaven.
Beatles: Not enough experience with them to tell.
'Tallica: Of course you are most correct. MoP stands on top alone.
| qwe3
08.19.10 | dude i dont care what mood i'm in ACDC always fucking sucks.
but some cool shit on here. johnny cash needs more love on this site | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | You guys haven't heard of Hell Night in Boston, have you? | Apollo
08.19.10 | Folsom rules | BigHans
08.19.10 | Nag, I love when you do that. Yeah, Rosie might be the best AC/DC, and Gimme Shelter would be my fave Stones song at gunpoint. Or maybe Sympathy. Or maybe Tumbling Dice. Shit.
As far as Cash goes, Folsom Prison is his definitive work. It really is something if you think about the time and place he did it. His interactions with the crowd are phenominal too.
Really, with Cash, pretty much aside from Folsom Prison, just get one of those 2-3 disc compilations, and get American IV, one of his newer ones. It has Hurt, and it also has one of his greatest songs "The Man Comes Around," and an absolutey devastanting ballad "I Hung My Head," not to mention some great cover tunes. | BigHans
08.19.10 | You guys haven't heard of Hell Night in Boston, have you?
^ I saw that on Man Vs Food. | NeutralThunder12
08.19.10 | ACDC always fucking sucks [2]
at least you realize that 1 is the greatest band in the history of music | ConsiderPhlebas
08.19.10 | Love every album here but 6, which I haven't heard. Really been getting back into rock and metal just lately, after a gay love affair with indie. 10 might be my favourite album right now. | greg84
08.19.10 | Way too old-school imho. I obviously support Led Zeppelin, The Beatles and Alice though. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Well Greg, I'm 30. So Im old. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Jungleland, Thunder Road, Born to Run. 10 is flawless. | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | Hell Night is crazy, Hans. By your standards everyone in that joint is more masculine leaving there than they were when they arrived. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Yeah they showed what he was eating on that show and I fucking cringed. And I highly enjoy hot food. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Neutral Thunder ProgFag, I put 8-11 together on purpose just for you, bitch. | Nagrarok
08.19.10 | Thanks man, your lists have often provided me with the oppurtunity, keep that up. I will get Folsom Prison to start with. I've been wanting to get into Cash for some time, but country isn't exactly my thing. I changed my mind when I heard Hurt, and it's good you remind me by this list.
And don't you dare give me a 'might' on Whole Lotta Rosie. | BigHans
08.19.10 | I know, I just played that game on Madden Josh.
BTW I was Dallas and won 49-7 | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | Dallas has a chance to make it to the Super Bowl, especially if Favre's ankle doesn't hold up. My Patriots look like they're going backwards, though :-( | BigHans
08.19.10 | Dallas will make it as long as Romo doesn't turn into a huge faggot the second he faces adversity like he has done in almost every definitive game he's played in. | BigHans
08.19.10 | I think Brady will have a stick it to the man season. Probably because Bill Simmons said so, and he's my personal idol right now. | Baphomet
08.19.10 | Love 1 and 3. To me, the others range from meh to fuck that shit. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Curses Baph | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | I hope so. I really do, but I doubt it will happen. He scared to get hit below the hips now, and he moves about that pocket like a frightened rabbit running from a preying eagle. Plus, there's really no running game, and the defense is either too old or too young. | BigHans
08.19.10 | I respect the hell out of Tom Brady. I think his typical being scared after an injurty session happened last year, I think he emerges this year. But you're right, they are a shell of what they were 3 years ago. | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | It doesn't help that Belichick is a fucking task-master of a coach and doesn't know how to let his players just play. It's fucking ridiculous. I've been calling for his head since the loss to the Giants in the Super Bowl a few years back. Fucking atrocious. | BigHans
08.19.10 | I lost alot of money on that game. Fuck off and die David Tyree.
Euphoric, how much do you know about the Dolphins? | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | A lot, actually. They're in the Pats division. | BigHans
08.19.10 | So you have no problem calling Dan Marino an overrated crybaby who didn't have the stones to lead his team to the Big One? | BigHans
08.19.10 | Head East has one of the best Classic Rock songs. Never Been Any Reason.
SAVE MY LIFE IM GOING DOWN FOR THE LAST TIME! | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | lmao no, i don't! he was a great quarterback. he was actually one of the best of all time, but he didn't have "it." That "it" is what makes a player memorable, and that was something he was sorely lacking. | Parallels
08.19.10 | D; nooooooo | Maniac!
08.19.10 | My list is almost complete. Sputnik will tear it apart. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Euphoric, do you like Bill Simmons? | EVedder27
08.19.10 | Great list, 15 is my favorite here. But I think you already knew that. | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | He's pretty funny, BigHans. Did you see the newest piece he did on The Art of the Holdout, using the former John Hannah as an example? | PuddlesPuddles
08.19.10 | 15 cake for me | BigHans
08.19.10 | Yes, I devour his articles. I have read his entire Archive, like three times. | Inveigh
08.19.10 | the best part about having a smart phone is being able to read Simmons in the can AND saving paper while you're at it | Inveigh
08.19.10 | well, that or mobile porn | JWT155
08.19.10 | A lot of my faves are here Hans | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | lmao, I think he genius. He's a little bias at times, but still one of the better editorial writers out there. | BigHans
08.19.10 | I spend at least 15 minutes a day in the can at work reading Simmons, no lie. | BigHans
08.19.10 | God Damn page breaks. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Havent heard the album Lakes. Probably don't need to from the sounds of it. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Cowboys don't have anyone that can cover Johnson I'll be honest. | AnotherBrick
08.19.10 | for 12 and 11 i love you.
and man this new comment system makes it tough to talk about a list now. | Maniac!
08.19.10 | lol no. he's not that dumb. | BigHans
08.19.10 | Geez Brandon I didnt troll your thread, homo. | Maniac!
08.19.10 | revenge for previous offenses | BigHans
08.19.10 | Fair enough. | EuphoricDysphoria81
08.19.10 | There aren't any teams who have someone that can cover Andre Johnson. The closest is Revis with the Jets, but I don't think he can neither. | greg84
08.19.10 | Lol. You aren't old, man. The list is not bad at all, just not exactly my taste to be frank. | Greggers
08.19.10 | Great list Hans | BigHans
08.19.10 | Thanks Gregs (both of you) | JWT155
08.19.10 | Think you need to listen through Blue by 3EB again Hans, I love it and think it's not as great as their self titled but a great record none the less. | LepreCon
08.19.10 | List is manly. So manly it makes me want to lift some weights. While blasting MoP. That will piss off my neighbours. | OFace
08.19.10 | Really nice list, although I'm not much of a Rolling Stones fan. |
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