Review Summary: no screams no party
my god what have done as a human race................. we made jesse lacey think that he's a genius of songwriting, but the truth is he's a ***ing idiot and prolly a pussy, dude it's been so many years and you're still a little bitch, grow up cunt, did you record this at the time you were recording the devil and god, dammm... ok now back to the album we all love so much.
so first of all science fiction is a dumb name and the album cover isn't even great, it looks like something jenny hval would use, but jesse lacey probably thinks it's cool lmao, tellin' ya that dude is retarded... uh, so yeah the album is actually a nice collection of songs that made brand new popular in the first place, but don't let that distract you from the fact that literally any other brand new record has more better individual tracks than this hot garbage. my god, these guys went for the atmosphere and completely forgot how to rock the *** out on tracks. so basically what they were trying to pull off is some kind of a mellow melancholic experience for people who read pitchfork. hey, does anyone remember when pitchfork was a crazy good pre-drive like jehu band. oh, this review is better than anything on pitchfork, by the way, so *** you brand new, you should have recorded an album for me to enjoy, not them.
ok listen, the 1st half of this little emotional trip is actually very tolerable and maybe on par with grand brand new. "lit me up" starts things off with some moderately crazy woman and it's intense and it's calm and it's good, let's be honest. the whole thing just feels like a sweet throwback to the good brand new times - from deja entendu of "can't get it out", daisy of "waste", jesus christ of "could never be heaven", some dispetchers talking over "137" and ehh modest mouse of "same logic/teeth"? come on, so these guys toured with modest mouse but holy *** they completely ripped off their good ol' sound including the vibrating psych guitar tones and awesome screaming in the background. and you know what? i ***ing LOVE it, man. it's obviously not the best song here, but the only thing that kept me from thinking that brand new is not an average band were those goddamn screams.
now that i've mentioned them, i want to give a quick s/o to the user y'all know mr. sowingseason. when i asked if this record had screams, he said YEAH MAN NOT AS MUCH AS ON PREVIOUS RECORDS BUT YEAH THEY'RE STILL THERE..... well the news is..... THEY'RE ***ING NOT THERE YOU LYIN ***! this mf lied just because he loves brand new and wants to praise this record to all masses. if you ask me, lack of screams is the biggest bummer of the century and is the sole reason why i'm writing this review. i'm DISAPPOINTED and i'm DEVASTATED by that fact. that fact makes me wanna cry more than any song on this album.
now the 2nd half is ohh hey my dad bought a new phone let's congratulate him on that. ok the 2nd half is really whatever to me, it's more of the same with the musicians tryin' out a couple of new things like the dope ass harmonica sounds on "in the water" and the bluesiness of "451". here's a thing, you can argue all you want, but this son of a bitch is pop influenced. i mean, what is he tryin to do, give us a parody of justin timberlake on "desert"? nigga you already tried too hard when you called your song "out of mana" and obviously showed the world that you play world of warcraft, my brother actually plays it too and he speaks to his buddies on skype and sometimes it can be annoying, but i don't hate world of warcrat, i just don't think that it's cool unlike our friend jesse here. he obvs doesn't go to the gym but sings about it, i don't go to the gym too man, i think gym is ***in' gay. like i said, everything just falls apart towards the end, it's clear that they were out of gunpowder in their arsenal, so "batter up" is not a SPECTACULAR closer like you would think it would be because of its length. it's ok, just like "no control", another deja entendu type of song.
so let me just conclude my message to the greats with a few points i'd like to list in the greatest fashion:
1. 1st half rules
2. my favorite song is probably "lit me up", but i need more listens. dude, "lift me up" by vince staples was way better than anything on his stupid house record that came out this year.
3. i don't hate jesse lacey. as a matter of fact, i think we'd be friends, but i still want to punch him in the face as a friend.
4. don't trust sowing. never trust sowing.
5. least favorite song is "desert"
6. no way this is on the same level with 'leaves turn inside you'
7. kristine leschper (i love you, marry me) from mothers i'm tired of asking you ̶o̶u̶t̶ to record a split record with me (speaking of pole younger, LP3 is hopefully comin' out this friday, it's called 'pole youngings has died in a car crash', but not in lowercase, just a regular title)
with much love from russia. thank you all & iloveyouall!
